Tifty

Tifty: adjective. The quahli'y of being soh thrifty up to the poynt that one starts yusing leh'ers excehssively frugally. Sum actually boahst of tiftiness as a seygn of mehrit, bu' dohn't beliv thehm: it stahrts with a leh'er, continyus with another and after twehnty yrs of a slohwly detirriorayting marriage, y'r significant otherrr won't say a singl word to yu in four weeks.