Bombat

Bombat: noun. Also known as kablambat and boombat,  bombat is a general term for any wombat stuffed with bombs, dynamite or other explosives. Bombats were first used in the Australian Civil War when the morally corrupt and retreating imperialists began putting gunpowder that they had left into wombats, thinking that the National Australian Front would not notice and be blown up because of its ignorance. However, the National Australian Front, led by several bush kangaroos, did not take the main road where all the bombats were placed, but went through the marsh instead (as a result of which they all drowned).

Howarella

Howarella: noun. An affectionate name for a flamenco dancer or a person suffering from a greeting disorder. The first meaning is not as common as the second meaning, which is widely used since the times of Freud. When used to denote a person suffering from a greeting disorder, the verb associated with howarella takes the future pluperfect form as shown in the following sentence: “I will meet a howarella yesterday.” The condition from which howarellas suffer is coincidentally also known as howarella, which may lead to misunderstandings, especially when talking to flamenco dancers at the same time. Howarella, (this time used to denote the greeting disorder) is a contagious disease that is transmitted by greetings and handshakes. Its symptoms include saying “hello” in the most inappropriate situations and not being able to let go of a hand that is being shaken.  

Germophilia

Germophilia: noun. The rather masochistic love of germs and/or Germans. Though not too typical nowadays, germophilia used to be “the rage” in Shakespeare’s Britain and it was very common for the aristocracy to host giant parties during which contests were held to see who could get sickest in a given amount of time. The sickest person was then given a prize of one thousand pounds, which went back to the organisers immediately after the winner’s death. As this sporting event killed all those who took part in the world championship held in Bhutan in 1902, germophiliacal contests became passé and they were even taken off the Olympic games, despite the popularity they had reached four years before that in Greece, when all of the contestants contracted diarrhoea and swam out of the stadium at the massive applause of thousands of spectators.     

Athatch

Athatch: verb. To take a sudden liking to or interest in Margaret Thatcher. In less common usage, the word can also be used to describe the situation when one is stapled, glued or surgically sewn to Margaret Thatcher. The verb usually follows the patterns verbs tend to follow, unless preceded by the words “liberal” or “labour,” in which case the sentence loses on its comprehensiveness and should, therefore, not be written at all. The sentence that should be here instead of this one but is not is a clear example of that. The word athatch was first used by the American president Ronald Regan who, upon meeting the British ambassador in the White House, told him that he had quite recently athatched himself and that he wishes the best of luck to the British Prime Minister. This was, of course, grammatically incorrect, as the verb athatch is used without a pronoun following it.

Jawanisation

Jawanisation: noun. Getting kidnapped by tiny caped figures and sold on the black-droid-market. This term applies both to droids and to humans as well as any other organisms, although the Star Wars films presented only the droid side of this dreadful phenomenon that takes place in all corners of the universe. As of the year 2013, the USA has proclaimed its intent to combat jawanisation from what are now 20,000 abductions each year to less than a half and this effort has been supported by the whole NATO. The creator of Star Wars, George Lucas, can boast of being one of the few humans who have made it back to Earth after being jawanised and decided to make a whole set of films based on his experience – one who searches intently can clearly distinguish George Lucas in the character of R2D2.