Neighbourism

Neighbourism: noun. The idea that the justness of international military action is solely determined by the proximity of one country to the other. As a rule, Neighbourists are strongly opposed to military action when the aggressor is far away from its victim, but are more than happy to support invasions by the victim’s neighbour. This basically summarises a prominent view in Russia (the majority of whose population happens to be neighbourist) stating that the Russian Federation has a natural right to wage war on its neighbours (and often the neighbours of their neighbours) with which countries farther away have no right to meddle.

Ti

Ti: verb. Being swiftly removed from the face of the world after attempting to say the words "Tibet" or "Tiananmen Square Massacre." People who are tid are rarely ever found and, to be quite frank, no one even bothers to look for them because it is mathematically proven that an unoffended China is a happy China and consequently a China that will give cash.

As the writers of this blog love their freedom and the provocativeness that comes along with it, there is only one thing they wish to say to that: Free Ti-

THE WRITERS OF THIS BLOG ARE MOMENTARILY UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING FRAGMENT WITHOUT WONDERING WHERE THEY COULD BE AND WHO WROTE THIS MESSAGE IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

XIV

"Well?" asked Babbage, standing in front of a line of slaves that had just transported a giant shiny box before the party, "What do you think? For the last six months, I´ve been working on a large version of the box you disappeared in last time. I was thinking that perhaps I could get another idiot to climb into it and test it out."

"Is that really why we´re here?" Exclaimed Elizabeth.

"Precisely," Lady Catherine suddenly replied, "now let us all get into that thing and go wherever it might take us!"

With her forceful authority and a massive umbrella with which she pushed Mr Collins and everyone else on board, Lady Catherine became the unofficial leader of the expedition into the unknown. Well, at least for a while. It became official when Mr Collins confirmed Lady Catherine´s authority in his most secretly kept pink unicorn diary which incidentally became a source of plenty amusement after he got sucked out into space - but more on that later.

"You stay here, Babbage, and get those pesky servants to stay behind too," Lady Catherine ordered most severely, "you shall be the location we report back to."

"Ti-" exclaimed a servant and disappeared.    

Asunderpants

Asunderpants: noun. An article of clothing worn for the purpose of separating the buttocks. Asunderpants are very popular in cultures where a clean bum is a sign of good breeding, as the undergarment reduces friction between the body and faeces by 50% in normal people and 99% in fat lards. Sadly, one seems to hear very little of asunderpants and, consequently, cultures that place a large importance on clean backsides, indicating the decadence of modern society. 

Voilent

Voilent: adjective. There are three common (and not, per se, mutually exclusive meanings) of the word voilent:
1. A violent violet.
2. A violent violin.
3. A violent violinist.
The word is not to be confused with the word voidlent, the act of giving up absolutely nothing for Lent.   
 

Barcass

Barcass: noun. The "carcass" of a boat - probably one of the most tragic sights in the eyes of experienced navymen and navywomen. A barcass is distinguished from a mere wreck by three major factors: it must be on shore, its basic skeleton must be visible and it must be decomposed to the extent that human attempts to make the boat a more hospitable place are indistinguishable.

Hititism

Hititism: noun. Hititism, not to be confused with Hittitism (the belief in the superiority of the Hittite way of life), is one of the most prominent philosophies in the twenty first century. According to hititists, the solution to life's problems is the same as the solution to malfunctioning televisions: a good hit. Dedicated hititists will hit everything from problematic steering wheels and unexploded ammunition to unresponsive technology and shopkeepers. Because of this, most hititists are now in prison or exiled.   

Fock

Fock: noun. The singular form of the word "fox." It is a common misconception that the word "fox" is the last term in the line of degression beginning with "foxes." It leads to a belief popular among many that the word "fox" is singular, which is evidently untrue as it is one of the very few words commonly classified as quasingular. The word fock itself actually denotes any physical part belonging to a fox. This ambiguity was used by Shakespeare for comedic effect in his partially child-friendly rendition of Romeo and Juliet featuring Romeo, Juliet and the entire cast dressed up as foxes, Juliet's famous soliloquy being altered to:

"What's a Foxague? It is nor fock, nor fock,
Nor fock, nor fock, nor any other fock
Belonging to a fox."

Choose

Choose: noun. Pronounced "chooz," the word choose is the singular form of the word "cheese" and the ultimate singular of "cheeses." The rule of thumb for distinguishing a choose from cheese and both of these from cheeses is the following: a choose is any small piece of cheese with a weight of less than five grammes, but both choose and cheese can be distinguished from cheeses not by quantity but by their origin - while cheeses have to originate from several separately manufactured pieces of cheese, cheese and choose have to originate from one sole piece.

Quasingular

Quasingular: adjective. The intermediate state between singular and plural - a contraction of the words "quasi" and "singular." Quasingular words are often words that are practically used as singular words but are technically more than that. The test to finding out whether a word is singular or quasingular is remarkably easy: one takes the word in its plural form and works it down to its "most" singular form. Through this test, we can find that some sequences only involve two terms, such as "trees-tree" or "geese-goose," indicating that the words concerned have no quasingular form, whereas some sequences, such as "cheeses-cheese-choose" and "foxes-fox-fock" (both of which shall be discussed in later posts) have three terms, the intermediate one being quasingular. 

Fragment XIII

Eventually, it transpired that Mr Horst, the new husband of Caroline no-longer-Bingley, had been in charge of supervising a time travel contraption which disappeared, along with Mr Horst, a couple of months before during a highly dangerous experiment.

"The problem," explained Mr Horst, "is that you, my good sir and teacher, made a fatal mistake in your calculations. While the contraption did indeed carry me through time, its main use seems to rest in travel through space. My movement through time was enhanced by an entire one minute, but my movement through space was incomparably larger and I happened to end up in an apartment in London, Grosvenor Street."

"And, I daresay, that is how you met Caroline Bingley! Isn't that right?" exclaimed Elizabeth.

"No," said Mr Horst dryly, "I was arrested and sent to prison from which I escaped with the help of a spoon and... of course that's how I met Caroline Bingley! It was love at first sight and all of that rot. Honestly, lady, you aren't too bright, are you?"

Caroline sneered. Elizabeth was embarassed. Babbage was gone.

"Well," said Mr Darcy adressing Caroline, "I see that you have finally found a man matching the wonderful arrogance I have always admired in you." 

Caroline was silent. Mr Horst was offended. Babbage was still gone.

"I don't know about you, but I need the loo," remarked Mr Hurst quite suddenly. His wife gave him a scolding look.

"Could you at least say 'urinate?'" she said with marked disgust.

"Sorry, love, can't talk, I need a good piss," said Mr Hurst looking around for the men's room. His eyes finally rested on a lovely potted plant where he proceeded to empty his bladder.

Mrs Hurst was shocked. Elizabeth was appaled. Babbage had just come back.

Salove

Salove: noun. A contraction of the expression "saliva of love" denoting the saliva exchanged during physical displays of affection, particularly (but not limited to) the saliva exchanged during kissing. The word salove is pronounced very much like "saliva of love," just without the "liva of" part. At the same time, the "love" part of the word is given very special emphasis by some native speakers, leading to the common transcription of "sa-LOUGHHHVE."

Trevility

Trevility: noun. The trio of evil - an antithesis to the trinity, the trio of good. People who believe in the Trevility put forward the view that the three great evils in the world (the Illuminati, Satan and Santa Claus) are one entity. The evidence they give for this is indeed quite convincing:

1. Santa is one with the Illuminati not only because of his conical hat (which is triangular in two dimensions), but also because of the popular carol which states that "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake" and "he knows if you've been bad or good" (which is followed by some moralising rubbish).

2. Santa is one with Satan because recently found evidence supports a historically discouraged but popular view that Santa is only a misspelling of the name Satan. Indeed, many cultures report that Santa (or his cultural equivalent) gives naughty children coal and potatoes, both of which are found deep under the surface of the earth...

3. Satan is one with the Illuminati because of his other name: Lucifer, which translates to "bringer of light." Similarly, the Illuminati are "the enlightened."

Of course, another piece of evidence for the oneness of this entity is that all three aspects of it are linked, meaning that their relationship cannot be depicted as a line... but as a triangle.       

Minister′

Minister′: noun. A very popular (and need I say mathematically witty) abbreviation for "prime minister." Fusing the mathematical prime symbol (used for set complements, derivatives and so on) with the political function of a prime minister, the word minister′ was invented by one of the few people who dabbled in both sciences: Aristotle. Needless to say, the authors of this blog detest Aristotle for his boring monologues and unconvincing arguments, but we have to grudgingly admit that he did make some fine contributions to the English language before it was even invented. 

Obstickle

Obstickle: noun. An object preventing one from one's desired course of action that is simultaneously either a tick, a stick, sticky, involving ticking or involving tickling. An example of an obstickle would be wanting to walk straight through a forest but encountering a stick barring your way. Another example would be wanting to escape a horde of children but being tickled to death. 

Duty-expensive

Duty-expensive: adjective. While duty-free shops grant their customers an exemption from paying value added tax, duty-expensive shops are required by law to do the opposite, having to make the value added tax higher than it usually would be. Usually, ordering a shop to be duty-expensive is a sign of political machination aimed at destabilising a businessperson's position in the market. However, the difficulty of implementing such measures means that most corrupt politicians will simply repeatedly order police investigations of a firm, leading to its bankrupcy as such investigations often entail closing the firm down for an indefinite length of time.

Note: the writers of this blog are not pointing any fingers, but, as is common in the Philippines, indicate with their lips to certain maxisters that have sunk their roots in Czech politics.  

Deccelescalieration

Deccelescalieration: noun. A term denoting the phenomenon of people slowing down at the end of an escalator, causing complete havoc and destruction. Previously thought to be a myth, deccelescalieration has been scientifically proved by researchers from Hong Kong who devoted countless hours riding on some of the longest moving staircases in the world. They found that as the journey to an escalator's end draws to a close, it takes people 2.6 seconds (which is coincidentally the reaction time of a munchkin) to realise that they will have to walk, after which most of them do so. This delay is the reason why the average space between escalator travellers shrinks, building up tension that may eventually lead to death by trampling.    

Maxister

Maxister: noun. In the good old days, servants of the state used to be classified according to more important characteristics than the colour of their skin and the content of their character - their height. Politicians shorter than 160 centimetres (5.24934 feet or 0.000863931 nautical miles in the case of admirals) were classified as ministers, politicians between 160 and 180 centimetres (5.90551 feet or 0.000971922 nautical miles) were called mezzosters and those taller than 180 centimetres became maxisters. Note that the word maxister is not to be confused with a maxistir, which is a circular movement for the purpose of mixing with a magnitude of 0.1 on the Richter scale.  

Fragment XII

It was at that moment when something absolutely extraordinary happened. The ground started shaking, Lady Catherine toppled and a giant iron box appeared in front of Babbage without any attempt for justification by the great powers of the universe. As Mr Collins reached his hand out to Lady Catherine to lift her up, something even more extraordinary happened: he paused and instead of proceeding in his usual display of servility, observed how the doors of the vault opened and cold steam escaped the inside. Out stepped two quite elegant feet, followed by another two not so elegant feet and four feet that were appaling beyond description. 

"Caroline Bingley" exhaled Mr Darcy amazed. Indeed, Caroline Bingley stood in front of them with Mrs Hurst right behind her, Mr Hurst behind her and what seemed like a complete clone of Mr Hurst behind him.

"Horst, in fact," said Caroline in a very matter-of-fact tone, introducing her fiancé.

As Mr Horst came forward, Babbage turned pale. That paleness, however, soon gave way to a natural flush as he, with an air of complete exhileration, started sputtering and dancing around in joy. He grabbed Horst by the hand, shook it wildly and in disconnected phrases attempted to explain himself:

"Mr Horst! My long lost assistant! Former maxister to his majesty's cabinet! Oh dear oh dear!"

Tofucken

Tofucken: noun or verb. The most commonly used form in which the word tofucken appears is as a noun, the meaning of which is "tofu turducken." However, tofucken is becoming increasingly popular as a verb with the meaning of "turning something into tofucken." More often than not, this action is completely unintentional, giving rise to exclamations such as "You completely tofuckened that up!" which became so popular among the Japanese Mormon vegetarians in Iowa that they turned the expression into a very deep proverb: "If it ain't meat, don't tofucken it up."

Espouse

Espouse: noun. Without a doubt one of the most ingenious inventions of the modern era, an espouse is a legal partner in marriage in the virtual world. Although the chances are slim, it could turn out that one´s espouse is actually a real person, but the ways of finding that out are very limited. Even if your espouse were looking you straight in the eyes, you would probably not be able to tell it´s him, her or it (unless, of course, his, her or its profile picture actually happens to be of him, her or it, which is very rarely the case). The uses of espouses, sometimes also called espice, are innumerable. They can be used to clean an imaginary house, make imaginary cash or give you an imaginary sandwich. They are also good at stimulating other bodily appetites, but that might be a story for another day. 

Matter

Matter: noun. The male version of a mattress. It is a little known (or at least thoroughly concealed and ignored) fact, that mattresses can only be used by lesbians, bisexuals and male heterosexuals without feeling violated. It is complementary, therefore, that matters can only be slept in by gays, bisexuals and female heterosexuals without being scarred for life.   

Marbel

Marbel: verb. To gaze wonderingly at the surrounding world with at least one fake eye. During the age of piracy, it was common for sailors, who had suffered a head wound to marbel at the world they got to sea (sea what I did there (and there)) as they sailed around. It actually became illegal under Henry Morgan, as there was a risk of the false eye falling out as the seamen marbeled, which would render them even more useless then they had been up to that point.

Spritly

Spritly: adjective. Describing someone who is either on a sugar-high from Sprite©, or someone who is unusually active despite their advanced age. The first meaning of the word can only be used for someone under the age of 25, while the second meaning of the word can only be used for someone over the age of 65. For those who are aged between 25 and 65, there is unfortunately very little we can do. Contact the Life complaints desk, if you fell that you've been cheated. They can be contacted at whatdoyouwantnow@wereallydonotca.re

Harmoralise

Harmoralise: verb. To give moral judgment by multiple people, while singing in harmony. This was a technique extremely popular amongst the nuns of the convents of 14th century Holy Roman Empire, who reprimanded their younger nuns using this manner, as they believed that this placed them on a moral high-ground, while also strengthening their connection to the Lord. The technique has since been abandoned leading to the decline of choir-standards globally, so much so, that in modern times nothing compares to the beauty of the nuns harmoralias. 

Antihypochondriasis

Antihypochondriasis: noun. A disease, which leads to a stern belief that one isn't succumbing to any form of disease, even when clearly ill. The early symptoms of this is a staunch denial of a cold or the claim that one hasn't suffered from a disease for over 7 years. Late-stage symptoms include attempts at attempting to continue regular life, while feverish, claiming normalcy while vomiting or attempting to eat food, while seizing. This potentially fatal psychological disorder has no known cure, but it is believed to be caused by overly protective mothers, who manage to protect their children from disease during their childhood, but also create an illusion of invincibility.

Sock-up

Sock-up: noun. The period after Christmas known globally by all operators of waste incinerators. It is the large pile-up of socks, which are thrown away as presents, which were appreciated on Christmas Day, but as the owner realised their 'unique' colour decided to dispose of, for the sake of his entire close family. There have been movements to try and prevent sock-up every year, by destroying all awful socks, while still in stores. However all that this has achieved is the burning down of several Tesco stores, as well as others.

Fragment XI

Everything happened exactly as Lady Catherine instructed. There was an early lunch and afterwards everyone prepared or delegated the preparation of their belongings, so that everyone including Mr. Collins was outside the inn just as Mr. Babbage was walking into the courtyard.

“Ah, how excellent to see you all here! Elizabeth, Darcy how marvelous that you could come to join my little venture. And you must be the acquaintances that I’ve been informed about,”, then with a look of significant anxiety, “and of course Lady Catherine, without whom none of this would have been possible. How will I ever repay you?”

“Well, you can begin repaying me by taking my luggage and leading us to our destination swiftly and without inane detours.” was Lady Catherine’s ‘nonchalant’ reply.

Mr. Babbage immediately rushed over, somehow managed to accommodate all 7 of Lady Catherine’s suitcases and then proceeded to quickly begin walking out of the courtyard. As he did so, he also began to explain. “To those of you, who are new to this journey, I shall briefly explain what will soon begin to unfold. Around a year ago, my experiments lead to me to what I soon realised was a new source of a potentially unlimited source of power, specifically a source of kinetic energy for an object. I knew that this could have many extremely beneficial applications for society, however my inner child got the better of me and I sought out an investor, who would be willing to sponsor a trip into the night, specifically up through the atmosphere and beyond. And that’s how I stumbled upon Lady Catherine.” Babbage finished the last sentence with a shudder, but thankfully Lady Catherine didn’t notice.

Hilfrarious

Hilfrarious: adjective. Describing of the edge of a slope or hillock, which has been worn or strained due to constant rubbing. Essentially a hill that has been frayed. There I've given it to you on a platter. Hopefully at this point you can figure out which two words were combined to make this one; if not, then I am very very sorry. Anyhow, the word was first used by the polar explorer Roald Amundsen, during his time as a mountaineer, when he complained to Edmund Hillary about the state of Ben Nevis. The well known botanist Benjamin Nevis was of course insulted, as he didn't consider himself a hill.

Bloglog

Bloglog: noun. This refers to two similar and yet different things.

1. A record of all the posts published on a blog, beginning with the beginning of recorded time, generally then having a lot of blank space and then actually highlighting the posts of the blog. It is required by the United Nations that these logs begin with the beginning of time, so as to ensure continuity and absence of multiplicity.

2. A congestion of posts on a blog, which are scheduled to be published in the future, but until that happens, they create confusion in the schedule, resulting in the anxiety and stress of the author of such a blog and can even lead to cranial expansion/expulsions.

Gobbledygook

Gobbledygook: noun. Contrary to popular belief, this word does not describe a nonsensical language. Instead it refers to the consumption of a specific root-vegetable, which was grown by the Mesopotamians in the early history of civilisation. One of the earliest crops cultivated by the Sumerians was the 'gook', and once the cooking technique for this was perfected, it became the most popular dish in all of Mesopotamia from Ur to Nineveh. Hence the rapid consumption was of this commodity was referred to as gobbledygook. 

Misodevtera

Misodevtera: noun. A dislike of Mondays. This word comes from Ancient Greek and reflects several interesting things. Firstly it reflects the Greeks' dislike of a certain Japanese soup, as they were willing to make it their 'dislike' prefix. Next it also hints at the original point of Monday, as the second day of celebration, as 'detvera' literally translates as 'second in order'. Finally there is also interesting matter of The Boomtown Rats, who wanted to name their hit song this, however were threatened with a court case by the Greek government, and so had to settle for a far less catchy title.

Disimportance

Disimportance: noun. The state or fact of not being of great significance or value. This word was created by someone, somewhere, I mean who cares...really. There was this clever and very interesting back story that I'd come up with, I mean researched, but suddenly I don't really care if you find out, how unfortunate. I hope you drown in the sarcasm.

Mafeminism

Mafeminism: noun. The advocacy of women's rights by men. An increasingly popular trend, which has emerge in the last decade and is adopted by the majority of men, either to attract women or because it's seen as fashionable. The few genuine mafeminists are often times berated by those around them for being insincere and confused-looking.

Inadverbium

Inadverbium: noun. The philosophy that stresses the disimportance of adverbs in prose writing, as well as writing in general. This was conceived by author Michael Gilbert and the founding motto of the philosophical stance was then uttered by him, when giving literary advice to his daughter, the great Harriett Gilbert, "For God's sake, don't use adverbs." Since then this has been adopted by many literary figures, and some have taken it as far as to use only nouns and verbs in their writing, nothing else. That type of writing is known as "trash".

Fragment X

The sudden appearance of Lady Catherine was quite a shock for the entire party, and put quite a damper on everyone’s mood for conversing, except Lady Catherine’s own of course. In fact she dominated the conversation for the rest of the evening, discoursing at length about such varied topics as silk, skirts, shawls, gowns, gloves, evening wear, satin and tailors.

Everyone retired rather early, blaming the tiring journey, except for Mr. Collins, who was of course enthralled in the lecture, err...conversation. Eventually Mr. Collins must have nodded off, as he awoke in the same place in the morning and to his astonishment, found Lady Catherine in the same seat, with a different dress and a breakfast plate, still talking about lace. The rest of the company soon descended for dinner and when they discovered Lady Catherine still on her lecture tour, decided to move to a different part of the inn for breakfast.

However it wouldn’t be a tour without different lecturing halls, as Lady Catherine marched into the room, where Elizabeth, Charlotte and Darcy were attempting to have breakfast in peace, and continued to talk. However this time, she was discussing the plans for the day.

“Babbage has informed me of the recent developments this morning, before you all dignified u with waking up. He firmly believes that the craft shall be ready to depart in the early afternoon. Therefore I have organised the kitchen to serve an early lunch, after which Mr. Collins you shall pack my belongings and we shall all meet with Babbage in the courtyard to depart.”

Succint

Succint: adjective. Describing something, which is concisely, briefly and clearly explained, but is also incorrect. For example, if the definition for this word had been written as "Describing something, which is complexly explained", then that definition would be succinct. The theory behind the word is that famous lexicographer Anthony Allen once misspelt the word, but to not ruin his reputation, he then created the definition of the word. Really, quite sneaky of him.

Toism

Toism: noun. The school of thought that suggests that any infinitive in the English language must be preceded by the word "to". The English language can thank Richard Cawdrey for this ridiculous philosophical stance, when he decided to incorporate it into his dictionary in the early 17th century. The dictionary was a little bit rubbish anyway. Nevertheless the philosophy became immensely popular, so much so that in these modern days, very few people actually know that it's only a school of thought, rather than a rule or law. And yet wouldn't things be so much simpler if infinitives were as follows for example: Exist: have objective reality or being; live, especially under adverse conditions.

Happarise

Happarise: verb. To make something or someone happier or simply improve the mood of. This word was first introduced by Charles Babbage as part of the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language, when he realised that English lacked a word for this uncommon, but helpful action. Unfortunately because the world is such a dreary place, the word has been only used three times since it's creation. Twice in a history book about World War Two, first at the start of the war in relation to Hitler and then at the end of the war in relation to Churchill. The third account of the word is its use under undisclosed circumstances in Oxford, United Kingdom.

Adventageous

Adventageous: adjective. Describing something or someone, who or which takes advantage of the advent season. This can either be a clever marketing strategy to sell what are in fact absolutely awful chocolates, that nobody would eat willingly without incentive, or it can be someone who ignores his diet and personal prohibition because "it's the holidays, after all." The word was first used by market analyst John B. Furter, who made have had some angst built up inside him, because of a famous relation of his.

Staze

Staze: verb. To give such a strong and tantalising stare or gaze, so as to freeze the staree or gazee in place. This technique was frequently employed to an extreme effect by the Gorgons of Ancient Greece, who contrary to myth, were actually a family of highly skilled sculptors, who froze their subjects in place with their stare, while they carved their exact replicas out of marble. The rumour about snake-heads and other such nonsense was started by their rivals, a significantly less skilled family of sculptors. However their clever undermining strategy will soon be eradicated thanks to this blog.

Squeel

Squeel: verb. To create the sound of small wheels grazing against very polished linoleum and the resulting friction emanating an ear-piercing screech. One may say that this is an awfully specific sound, however only in the French part of Belgium, 7 donkeys were reported as having gone mad, due to incessant squeeling from a nearby parrot, who had spent too much time in a school and a supermarket.

Teein

Teein: noun. The chemical that exists in the human body, when during a game of golf the player succeeds in actually delivering the ball into the hole. The chemical is secreted by the pancreas and is essentially an amino acid with an added ketone group, as well as two additional benzene rings. The chemical was first isolated by avid golfer Robert Boyle (chemist in his spare time), after extracting the blood of 345 golfers during their game.

Fragment IX

Lady Catherine emerged from the kitchen looking slightly displeased and Mr. Collins squealed in joy.

“Lady Catherine! But what in the world are you doing here?” inquired Mr. Collins.

“Ah, Mr. Collins, excellent I was looking for you. I am here to oversee the completion of a commission by an employee of mine.” retorted Lady Catherine. A moan came forth from Mr. Darcy as two facts came together in his head. “A much better question, and one you should have answered without me having to ask it, is why in the world you are here Mr. Collins?” Lady Catherine turned her gaze towards Mr. Collins.

“Oh, um, well, you see, ah…” Mr. Collins yet again struggled for coherence.

“I believe I can explain that”, interjected Mr. Darcy, “I had forgotten that I met Babbage at one of your soirees Lady Catherine, but anyhow, we became acquainted and Babbage invited me and Elizabeth to come and see the completion of his creation. Mr. Collins and his wife came just in time to join us. And so here we are.”

“What a tremendously confusing explanation Fitzwilliam. You have much to learn in terms of rhetoric.” reprimanded Lady Catherine and Mr. Darcy did genuinely look hurt by the comment.

At this point Charlotte felt like she needed to interrupt. “Am I the only one, who doesn’t know or understand what this creation or invention is? I must say I’m rather confused.”

“Shush child, we’ll get to that.” silenced her Lady Catherine, “What is much more important now, is that supper is tended to. Elizabeth and Charlotte shall go and help that helpless fellow they call a cook here, while Fitzwilliam shall come and entertain me and my dear daughter, while Mr. Collins takes care of the carriages and horses. That’s why I was looking for you Mr. Collins.”

Quizissive

Quizissive: adjective. Describing someone who is obsessed with doing quizzes, whether that is on the internet, in newspapers, in pubs, with friends, alone, in his mind, out of his mind or elsewhere. This is a serious mental condition, which has been deemed extremely dangerous both to the sufferer and those around him. Therefore, if you or the people around you have been affected by being quizzisive, then do not hesitate to contact the appropriate authorities, i.e. The New York Times.

Spoorious

Spoorious: adjective. Not only being false or fake, pretending to be what it is not, but also extremely impoverished and poor. Essentially this was an example of the highest degree of Victorian insults. There exists one recorded case of its usage and that is by Queen Victoria, when she discovered that Sherlock Holmes was only a fictional character in a story. She used the word spoorious to refer to Doctor Watson and the impoverished part referred to his character development and mental capacity.

Invitus

Invitus: noun. A mostly unknown poem written by William Ernest Henley in 1874 and was meant as a predecessor for his later poem Invictus. However because the world is a dark, miserable and depressing place, only Invictus is remembered, while Invitus has fallen into obscurity. Historical restoration leads us to believe that the poem was about inviting one to share in the warmth of one's hearth. However the information is spurious. We have managed to recover two lines from the poem:

Under the nourishings of love
My head is rosy, cheeks flushed. 

Hoody

Hoody: 

1. noun. A hoodie, which has a design so that when someone puts it on, he appears to be Robin Hood. The only version of this ingenious art of clothing was created by Innovations Very Ltd. earlier this year and immediately went on sale. It was bought anonymously, but was later seen on the estate of a rather eccentric man from Shropshire, as he shot arrows at cows he had catapulted into the air with an actual catapult. 

2. adjective. Describing a story, which has the same story arc as that of Robin Hood, where some of the characters have different names and some minor details have been changed. As of this day, there have been 1,181, 573 cases of hoody films, novels, novellas, poems, epics or short stories.

Partialheimers

Partialheimers: noun. A medical condition, where the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease present themselves in a patient, who is much too young to suffer from the disease and they also aren't all of the symptoms. This particular disease was most prominent in the 18th century, where it happened to plague the majority of the Arabian peninsula and lead to what is known as "The Great Forgetting". It was later discovered that the disease is caused by a particular virus, which is transmitted from eating sand. It was then quite straightforward to eradicate the disease. And that is how the Sahara desert came to be.

Plattered

Plattered: adjective. This word has two very specific definitions, describing things in two different ways.

1. Describes a sound, if it resembles that of raindrops falling on metallic plates, which are made of iron, tin, nickel and copper and have an area of 2x5 metres. If the raindrops fall on anything else, then this word cannot be used to describe the sound. Sorry.
2. Describing something which resembles that plate, that's sort of like a plate for salad, but it isn't a bowl and it's too big to be a regular plate, and yet too small to be a platter. You know, that thing.

Calender

Calender: noun. In the early 1910's little notebooks, where people could record their plans for a specific set of days were becoming increasingly popular, however they were also incredibly expensive to produce. Hence a business started up, where a person bought this so called "calendar" and then rented it out to a large group of people, so that they could collectively write down their plans and afterwards rent it again, in case they needed to check what they'd written down. These people became known as calenders. Their business unfortunately went into decline with the invention of the lightbulb and there are currently only two functioning calenders still in the world, one in London and one in Quito.

Fragment VIII

Elizabeth was rather startled by what the haggard woman had spoken, but assumed that an entity was commplacent. She soon forgot about what the woman had said, as the carriages soon began to move again, being driven away from the inn by the wolves, which began to approach too close to the horses to Mr. Darcy’s liking.

The rest of their journey was rather uneventful, and they soon reached Hull. The sky had darkened even further. There was an eerie silence in the town, as lightning crashed across the sky and rain splattered down onto the half-cobbled and half-dirt road. There was a rather run-down establishment, which Mr. Darcy assured them was an excellent place to stay (he had business dealings in Hull and so knew the local area).

Mr. Collins was uncertain about the entire venture. He felt anxious about having abandoned Lady Catherine so, without informing her of his disobedience, and so was even more anxious than usual. However, his qualms were soon quelled, when he spotted a well-known carriage immediately next to the establishment, in which they were planning to spend the night. His suspicions were confirmed, when they entered the inn. Lady Catherine’s voice could be heard emanating from the kitchen, “No, no, no. You simply can’t put that in there, that seasoning would completely ruin the entire meal. Well, of course I’m not going to touch it! You’re the cook aren’t you?”

Waht

Waht: noun. Although commonly thought to be a typo by word-processing software, they are in fact horribly wrong, and it is due to a simple error in the programming of the earliest word-processor that this is the case. The word was incredibly popular in the 1950's and the 1960's, however due to an error while creating Astrotype, the word was omitted from its dictionary. This had such a tremendous impact, that in fact nobody knows anymore what the word actually meant.

Disestiflement

Disestiflement: noun. The act of making someone more comfortable or less stifled. Essentially this means to make one less restrained and more at ease with whatever it is that he may be doing. The word is most commonly used in the theatre and film business, where it is used on novice actors or actresses. For example the well-known Elizabeth Taylor enjoyed shouting: "Will you disestifle already? Goodness me, you look more uncomfortable than a sheep in a wool sweater." Especially at actors, who had never acted with her before.

Commplacent

Commplacent: adjective. Describing a type of person who is very lazy, but also very common, meaning he is sedentary and unlikely to move across a larger area. Interestingly the largest proportion of commplacent people is in this millennium in Mongolia, which is particularly interesting due to the nomadic nature of their ancestors. The word was first used by the explorer of the Arctic regions, who used it in association with a family of seals that he met while exploring, and who he met again 17 more times while going around in circles.

Michaelmasmass

Michaelmasmass: noun. The extent to which a family values and holds in high esteem and importance the festivities of Michaelmas. Essentially if a family has low michaelmasmass then they either don't consider Michaelmas at all important or don't actually know about the holiday. On the other hand a family with a high michaelmasmass is likely to hold Michaelmas in importance equal to that of Christmas or even higher. It is possible for a family, which does not honour Christmas to have a michaelmasmass, as they are not mutually exclusive, despite common sense.

Tealie

Tealie: noun. A tie or bowtie, which is teal in colour. These are particularly popular in Mardi Gras festivals and Christmas/Kwanzaa celebrations. Tealies were declared the fashion accessory of 2014 by the Bhutan version of Vogue. This is particularly interesting, as a recent survey conducted in Bhutan revealed that there had only been one tealie ever recorded or seen in Bhutan. This was by the explorer Marco Polo, who happened to wonder into the Bhutanese royal court while travelling on his hot air balloon with his pet sloth on a journey to Atlantis.

Smoge

Smoge: noun. The smoke created by a smogie. This word was first used in Dublin in 1907, when the concentration of smoge in the city was so high that it forced the majority of the population of the city to flee into the countryside, as well as killing over a million cats, rats and possums. Thanks to a strong-eco-friendly effort on part of James Joyce the city was cleaned and world-wide levels of smoge have since then remained low thanks to a worldwide increase in cigarette quality.

Sipher

Sipher: noun. A cipher created by J. Edgar Hoover, which was decrypted by wrapping paper through and around a sieve in a complex and confusing way, which resulted in the decrypted message falling out of the bottom of the sieve. Many associates of Hoover's saw this in practice, but no one has been able to replicate it since Hoover's death. This suggests two theories, that either Hoover was an alien or he was magic. The commonly accepted theory is that Hoover was magic, which is supported by the fact that he was able to create an openly-existing-top-secret-undercover-agency.

Fragment VII

The group of four departed in two carriages the next morning. Charlotte, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy traveled in one carriage and Mr. Collins had a carriage all to himself, which was understandable, as he was determined to take his herrings with him on the journey.

The goings were slow, as there was unpleasant and stormy weather, which meant the roads were of an appalling quality and they had to stop twice to change horses, as they tired rather quickly. The second time they stopped was somewhere in Lincolnshire on a rather lonely inn next to the road. The inn was named “Ye Olde Marineate”, which was due to an unfortunate sign-making error and was doubly unfortunate, because the word is actually verb.

Inside the inn was a lonely female innkeeper, who seemed excessively bored and utterly indifferent about the arrival of the guests. Mr. Darcy ended up having to harness the horses for both of the carriages, as Mr. Collins was unable to do so for his carriage.

Just as they were about to leave, the innkeeper seemed to awaken, “Are you heading on that foolish adventure, everyone else seems to be going on these days?”

Despite the vague question, Elizabeth immediately understood what the innkeeper was referring to. “Yes, why?” she inquired.

“I warn you! That adventure is not what it seems to be, however if you pay me a large sum of gold, I will cast a spell on you, which will protect you from all the potential dangers of the adventure." the old woman replied.

Demember

Demember: verb. To remove a finger from the hand of someone. This was a form of torture used in by the Mali Empire to punish those, who attempted to drink milk. This was especially prominent during the reign of Mansa Musa II, who happened to be lactose intolerant and so banned the drinking of milk under the punishment of demembering. There were some, who attempted to avoid the punishment and still drink milk, but they were quickly discovered by the world's first form of Inquisition/Police.

Unmember

Unmember: verb. An archaic version of the word "to forget". The word was last used by Chaucer and even in his time it was rarely used in writing and practically never used in spoken word. There are various theories about when the word was first used, but the most prominent and accepted one is that it was first used the year before Bede was born and it was actually an used in association with an accident by Bede's mother.

Antagonism

Antagonism: noun. The philosophy that everyone around you at all times is out to get you and even if there's no one around you, they're still there to get you. There are theories that this word was first coined by a amateur-psychiatrist, who was trying to cover up his paranoia. However the details are sketchy as it is all under the censorship of the US government and it's all very hush-hush and we can't really say any more. How suspicious...

Protagonism

Protagonism: noun. The belief that in one's life one's path will ultimately lead to a successful and happy ending, no matter what choices are taken along the way. This philosophy was proposed by the great Jacques Derrida, unfortunately rather than being accepted as the humorous ridicule it was meant to be, it was taken up by the philosophical community, as a valid 'ism'. This distressed Derrida so much that he withdrew from contact with any and all brass instruments until the end of his life.

Brider

Brider: adjective. This comparative is a combination of the words broader and wider. It was first used by accident by a Philosophy professor in the early 1970's who was attempting to emphasise the importance of the scope of a work in the evaluation of it's metaphysical impact on the disharmonising postulate of an adept at epistemology. Essentially his focus had to be wider and broader, but the professor succeeded in creating brider. It has probably been one of the greatest accomplishments of his life, even though he isn't very highly regarded for it.

Exchecker

Exchecker: noun. An office of the British government, which is in charge of all dictionaries, vocabularies, syntactics, semantics, etymologies, hermits, eloquentics and other such related preoccupations. The office was established by Henry the VI and was just about the only remarkable act of his reign. The office is headed by the Lord of the Exchecker, which is a hereditary position held by the house of Nym and the incumbent is Armistead Johnoah 37th Baron of Nym.

Nym

Nym: noun. A word which is in no way related to a base word, which has been used as an origin for a search. This is the often disregarded syntactical category, alongside synonyms and antonyms. Nyms are oftentimes the most populated category, but due to a massive campaign in the late 1875's against the category, they are now mainly disregarded by the global linguistic and language-enthusiast community, much to the chagrin of the Honourable Lord Nym, Chancellor of the Exchecker.

Fragment VI

The three enjoyed each other’s company for the rest of the afternoon, while Mr Collins laboured by a nearby tree with a rather large pile of herring and an ingenious device of his construction, which launched herring at a surprising speed in the general direction of up. Despite this brilliant invention, Mr Collins was unsuccessful in cutting down the tree by nightfall and so returned to the mansion quite disappointed.

“Tell you what dear, shall we take a relaxing holiday and go on a small adventure with the Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, rather than immediately returning to Lady Catherine? It will help you take your mind off all of the herring”, suggested Charlotte after her husband had retold his troubles.

“But Lady Catherine will be expecting us back promptly! We can’t possibly let her wait.” lamented Mr Collins.

“Why of course we can. We shan’t be gone for very long and I’m sure she can manage without us. Besides if she couldn’t manage, then why would she send us away in the first place?” schemed Charlotte.

“That is indeed a very good point, perhaps you are right.” agreed finally Mr Collins.

“Excellent, I shall confirm with Lizzy later tonight.” beamed Charlotte.

And that is precisely what she did. Lizzy was thrilled to have her oldest friend accompany her on the adventure and was very much looking forward to it, despite the fact that Mr Collins was coming along as well.

Delikacy

Delikacy: noun. This word has two absolutely fascinating meanings.

1. The efficacy of a deli. Essentially the likelihood that if you enter a deli, you will emerge with what you wanted. There are varying degrees of this, depending on where you are in the world. For example the delikacy of delis in Algeria is quite high, because if you enter a deli you will most likely emerge with something very similar to what you wanted, but not quite there. However in Morocco you will most likely emerge with a awful rash and a leek, no matter what you wanted.
2. Describing a food, which is specific to a region or culture and which also has a pleasurable taste. One may think that the word delicacy already achieves this, however it has been mentioned that the word delicacy is the universal term for something unspeakably awful but rare.

Gourda

Gourda: noun. A combination of the Haitian currency of the Gourde and also the well-known cheese Gouda. Logically it can then be inferred that a gourda is a large block of cheese, which is beige-coloured and tasting distinctly of port wine and jambalaya. This cheese is commonly made in Tenerife and also Sant Maarten, where it is sold as a delicacy, which is the universal term for something disgusting, but rare.

Scrupleton

Scrupleton: noun. A 100 scruples. As everyone knows the scruple is a unit of mass used by apothecaries, hence belonging to the Apothecaries' system. There are 3 scruples in a drachm and 288 scruples in a pound, but more importantly and much more sensibly, there are 100 scruples in a scrupleton. This specific unit of measurement was created by an apothecary from Brighton, who was well known for providing hemlock in the scrupletons. 

Sqrunch

Sqrunch: noun. A more accurate representation or onomatopoeia of the sound made when a bug is stepped on and crushed. This bug preferably must have a thicker shell or exoskeleton, as well as being sufficiently juicy. Only then can the sound that emanates from the broken wreck of a bug be described as a sqrunch. No one is entirely sure, when the word was first used, although there are theories that it was used post mortem by Galileo Galilei, when his theories were confirmed.

Infrustration

Infrustration: noun. The feeling one gets when one loses something, knows that he has lost it and still cannot find it, even though it should be really easy to find and one is looking in the right direction. This happens on varying scales to different people, where some suffer from it frequently and some never at all. The common and accepted theory is that the object that has been lost has been stolen by pixies or leprechauns and can only be returned, once a long enough period of infrustration has been suffered.

Trainge

Trainge: verb. To change train or subway/metro lines. This word was first used and subsequently popularised by a group called the Subways from New York, who spent their days riding various subway lines and trying to determine, what were the fastest routes from a stop to another stop, including various factors, such as people density and frequency of performers. They created the word to simplify their communication to each other, which was semi-pointless as they communicated with each other very rarely, being extremely anti-social.

Scovillity

Scovillity: noun. The measure of the spiciness of spicy foods, based on the Scoville scale. The Scoville scale was devised in 1912 as a scale of pungency of spicy foods and has since been often used by manufacturers of spicy sauces to promote their product. It was Wilbur Scoville himself who coined the word scovillity. He did so in an attempt to popularise his scale and to increase his own ego. The conversation during which the word was first used went something like this:
"Wow, this is a rather spicy chilli pepper."
"Do you know its scovillity?"
"Its what?"
"Oh, you know, scovillity. It's this useful technique I created..."
You can imagine how it went from there...

Fragment V

“So to what do we owe the pleasure of having you as our guests?” inquired Elizabeth.

“Ah, you see I have been sent by the honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh to cut down the mightiest tree in Derbyshire with a herring. A task I plan to achieve tomorrow, so that we may return to Lady Catherine as soon as possible.” answered Mr. Collins.

The unpleasant odour was still very much presalent around Mr. Collins, hence he was encouraged by the others in the room, to begin his task now, as they believed it may take him longer than he anticipates.

Elizabeth was baffled, “Charlotte dear, how can you possibly bear this atrocious caricature of a man as a husband? He must be so exasperating.”

“Oh, one gets used to him. On the positive side, he is so engrossed with Lady Catherine and his own ego that absolutely everything goes past him, it’s no difficulty for me to keep my own agenda or plans. Sometimes I wonder if he still remembers that I live in the same house as him.” replied Charlotte. “And how have things been here at Pemberley, Elizabeth has only livened the place I trust Mr. Darcy?”

“Oh yes, most certainly. We couldn’t be happier and Georgiana couldn’t have asked for a better friend. However I have realised that we may have to leave you tomorrow morning, as we have a trip planned.” exclaimed Mr. Darcy.

“I absolutely forgot about that, how silly of me!” reprimanded herself Elizabeth, “I’m afraid Charlotte that a friend of Fitzwilliam’s has invited us on an adventure and we’ve been planning to leave for quite some time, it shall be impossible for us to cancel the trip now!”

“Oh that’s quite alright, I’m sure that we shall be on our way quite promptly. Whether we leave with a tree or without, that is yet to be seen.”

“In that case, I propose we summon Mr Collins back and send him to have a lovely fragrant bath, while we enjoy some supper and discuss all that has happened, since we’ve last seen each other.” issued Elizabeth and so they engaged themselves for the afternoon.

Butterflious

Butterflious: adjective. Describing something which is vaguely related to a butterfly and is also most definitely marvellous. For example in 1935 a German constructor named Wilhelm Schonitz constructed a giant butterfly net, which was intended to catch happy emotions, as they floated towards the heavens and then redistribute the happiness amongst the suffering populace. This idea was called butterflious by many, until it was used to aid the Nazi was effort, having been reconfigured to capture idealism, rashness, irrationality and violence. Some believe that the net was actually one of the main causes of World War Two.

Oligobatics

Oligobatics: noun. To counteract the popularity of acrobatics in Ancient Greece, as well as Ancient Texas, and the inherent discrimination of acrobatics, the Celtic Dwarf/Little-People Society created oligobatics, as a discipline much more accessible to the general public. In fact the discipline was a huge success and the originators were praised for their excellent, and much more inclusive idea. However the Greeks simply couldn't accept this, so they sabotaged the 100th annual oligobatics championships, thereby sending the sport into obscurity and almost extinction, except for a small group of practitioners near Basel, Switzerland. The word originates from the Greek word "oligos" meaning small, few or little.

Efamiliate

Efamiliate: verb. Cause (someone) to become close or affectionate to someone; befriend. The Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language created this word in the early 1827's as a direct antonym to the word estrange. However in their desperate plight to create a suitable word, they overlooked the trend of society at the time, which would have clearly shown them that society at the time did not require positive-minded words, rather looking for words with a similar connotation to estrange. Hence the word quickly fell into obscurity with some people openly criticising it. Since then it has been called one of the greatest mistakes of the Movement.

Diadrammatic

Diadrammatic: adjective. Describing something, which in some way represents a theatre work, a dilemma, a perplexing situation or unusual event. This very wide definition was first proposed by the French photographer Nicéphore Niépce, who enjoyed incorporating dramatic scenes into his photographs and daguerrotypes, hence making them diadrammatic. It is likely that we shall never run out of diadrammatic things, as there will always be dramatic events happening, that is unless the great Platypus-Cat of Salem takes over. Of course. 

Electraumatic

Electraumatic: adjective. Describing something, which can cause trauma using electricity. For example repetitive use of a Van de Graaff generator can lead to severe psychological trauma and hence can be described as electraumatic. This is a recognised medical condition, and hence there are several medical abbreviations associated with this term. For example LOLSBOEE (Little Old Lady Suffered Because Of Electraumatic Experience) or EEIP (Electraumatic Experience Induced Paranoia) and also SLEEP (Sudden Latent Electraumatic Experience Paralysis).

Trespassment

Trespassment: noun. The action wherein one trespasses into a different one's property, while under the influence of a herb of some sort. For example when one enters a military facility, while under the influence of coriander can be considered an act of trespassment. In 2011 this word was voted by the British public of Adelaide to be the 2nd hardest word to spell in a spelling bee. It came second only to the word 'aardwolf'. This is particularly interesting, because aardwolves can often be perpetrators of trespassment, due to their frequent ingestion of thyme, while hunting.

Vocabulistics

Vocabulistics: noun. The study of vocabulary, one who studies this is a vocabulist. The two branches of vocabulistiscs are psychological vocabulistics and historical vocabulistics. The first branch is the study of the effects of specific vocabulary words on an individual or how one's vocabulary develops over time or under different circumstances, while historical vocabulists study the development of the average vocabulary throughout history and how new words have influenced historical events. Pastism shows that this veer blog will be the most important subject in all of historical vocabulistics.

Fragment IV

Elizabeth Darcy emerged from the mansion doorway in an exquisite, yet simple and utilitarian dress. She was ecstatic at getting to see her oldest friend once again, less so about the olfactory sensation that was Mr Collins.

“Why Charlotte, you could have written to let me know you were coming! Come right in.” announced Elizabeth excitedly. As Mr Collins began to follow his wife she turned to him, “I’m afraid Mr Collins that you shall have to enter through the back door, we recently had new carpets installed.”

Hence Mr Collins collected his bearing and his herring and went on the 15 minute walk to the other side of the house. In the mean time Elizabeth showed Charlotte the room, she would be staying in (conveniently far away from Mr Collins’ room), while they talked about motherhood and Charlotte’s plans once the baby arrived.

Later that afternoon they were joined by Mr Collins for tea and even Mr Darcy turned up. Mr Darcy had recently been suffering from schizofernia due to an unfortunate gardening incident and so was sticking to the parts of the house, further away from the garden. Mr Collins in the mean time had managed to partially remove the stench from himself and Elizabeth had him surrounded by so many flowers, incense and myrrh that he was actually bearable for shorter lengths of time.

Prevalencia

Prevalencia: noun. The famous town that once stood, where modern day Valencia, Spain stands. No one remembers the name of the original town anymore, hence the scientific and archaeological community agreed upon the term prevalencia and then further conjugated this term to include for example the prevalencian society, the prevalencian bronze ages, the prevalenciar people and the prevalencio-basque wars.

Obesimum

Obesimum: noun. A particularly offensive and impolite term, usable when referring to a mother suffering from obesity of some form. This word is considered unacceptable in all levels of society. There is a story of a man uttering the word in the 1990's to a group of friends, who promptly reported him to the police and the man was excommunicated by the Pope to the island of Elba three days later. He died of a walking-jellyfish attack and his last words were reported to be "Some friends I've got..."

Obesidad

Obesidad: noun. Not to be confused with the Spanish word for 'obesity', this word refers to a parental figure in a family, who can be described as big-boned. Some consider obesidad as a euphemism, however the Oxford Society for the Mystical Interpretation of Euphemisi and Various Wordly Paraphernalia clearly states that the word is a meta-euphamism, with a strand of allegorical chiasmus on the 'a'.

Tyrannosaurexia

Tyrannosaurexia: noun. A disease caused by malnutrition, specifically the severe lack of neon in one's diet. It is often confused with Kwashiorkor, however the distinct symptom of Tyrannosaurexia is the shortening of the upper limbs of the infected, as well as a prolonging of the snout...er...face. The disease was first named by the famous explorer David Livingstone. In fact the medical missionary shouted it to H. M. Stanley during a famous conversation, which went something like this:

"Dr Livingstone, I presume?"
"Tyrannosaurexia."

Bulimia

Bulimia: noun. The lost country in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, which has been speculated about. There are various theories that claim that the officials of Brazil hide from the rest of the world an entire country, which exists within the Amazon rainforest, so as to increase their own borders and thereby their sense of self-worth. Bulimia was searched for by Francisco Pizarro, Vasco de Gama and others, however they all mysteriously died of an unknown illness, I'm sure that doesn't mean anything. Brazil hopes that continued deforestation will rid it of the problem of Bulimia. 

Overweightness

Overweightness: noun. The degree to which one is overweight, as well as the degree to which one is being weighed down by a problem, burden or in-law. This word became very popular in the vocabulary of doctors in the 1960's, especially after the baby boom in Europe and Asia. The sentence: "Overweightness was high in the city due to the overweightness of the population" appeared in many different satirical comics and cartoons of various newspapers, along with caricatures of various family members.

Parently

Parently: adverb. Describing something, which resembles the actions or behaviour of a parent. Used often by kids of an age below 8 years old, who imitate their parents, they use the word to justify their actions to their fellow sand-pit comrades as they drag around a miniature shopping cart shouting, "Why the hell is everything so expensive these days?!"

Forgy

Forgy: noun/adjective. This word has two very different meanings, which should not be confused even in the most dire circumstances.

1. A food orgy. These were very popular in the halls of Ancient Rome, especially in the halls of well to-do citizens, emperors, senators and clergy. A forgy would be held within a convivium, and there were three lavish courses served to the guests reclining on couches. The courses were in order gustatio, mensae primae and mensae secundae.
2. Relating to a forge. A forge is a type of hearth used by blacksmiths, and the word forgy has oftentimes been incorrectly used to describe hearths, which in fact weren't forges at all. There are various types of forges including coal, gas and finery forges.

So what that this post is only educational and not funny?! Deal with it!