Conduckt

Conduckt: verb. There are several meanings with which the word conduckt is frequently used.
1. To conduct ducks. Typically, a policeman or another public official conduckts, or becomes a conducktor, by stopping traffic to show crossing ducks the way using his or her baton.
2. To conduct, being a duck. A duck conduckts many things, such as heat, love, and electricity. 
3. To  let through by ducking. For example, if a duck is flying straight towards my head and I duck, thus letting it pass, I can be said to be conduckting.

Strate

Strate: adjective. Without a curve or bend, moving in one direction only. The shape of the shortest possible line from one point to another in a two dimensional space. We actually had to make this word up completely here at Enriching the English Dictionary, which is strange considering how useful it seems to be. It does sound familiar though...

Lieful

Lieful: Adjective. The antonym of truthful: to be full of lies. An example of this word used in context is: "That presidential candidate is so lieful. Then again... so are all politicians. The problem isn't whether one is truthful or lieful - it's clear that they all lie through their teeth. The problem is that this presidential candidate is a raving psychopath."

Dulcinean

Dulcinean: adjective. Idealised, idolised, glorified. A Dulcinean ideal is constructed over some real foundation - a person, animal, or object - though sometimes, even this reality is not necessary. The basic idea is then augmented by fantasy and wishful thinking. Thus, we arrive at someone or something Dulcinean, an idealised version of our romantic interest, desired meal, or favourite politician. 

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Special Announcement from one of our blog writers: Tomorrow is my dog's Name Day! To honour my wonderful bitch, I have given her the opportunity of entering history with her very own word. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the immense pleasure to present you with the first dictionary entry written completely by a dog:

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I couldn't get her to write more, but this looks very insightful indeed.

Sanchian

Sanchian: adjective. The word Sanchian, synonymous with the word Panzian, denotes the quality of being very trusting, rather stupid, but capable, at the same time, of showing a great deal of prudence and judgement. A sanchian person will, for example, follow a deranged old man through dangerous and mostly imagined adventures at his own peril, yet will excercise Solomonic wisdom when in charge of a whole town. Some have argued that even the great Don Quixote is a Sanchian character, but the difference there, it seems, is that Don Quixote is highly intelligent consistently, and often appears to be aware of his own insanity, even indicating that it is ingeniously self-caused.

Dutchless

Dutchless: adjective. Lacking in Dutch people or Dutch qualities. For example, North Korea is, for the most part, completely Dutchless, with very few Dutch influences and very few Dutch tourists as well.

Dutchess

Dutchess: noun. A dutchess is the official term for a Dutch duchess. The word dutchess has been rendered largely obsolete following the year 1830, when Belgium and the Netherlands split and the Netherlands retained no duches or dutchesses save the monarch, who is the Duche or Dutchess of Limburg. Thus, the only duche surviving today is Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands, and the only dutchess is his wife, Queen Máxima.

Jesuine

Jesuine: adjective. Contrary to popular belief, to be jesuine isn't to behave like a genuine Jesuit. Being stinking Catholics, it is indeed quite difficult, if not nearly impossible, for Jesuits to be genuine, the only exception, perhaps, being Pope Francis. To be jesuine is to genuinely behave like a Jesuit, in other words, to behave exactly like a Jesuit would. A person described as Jesuine will often employ caustic reasoning, softly question conservative Catholic dogma, and torture a couple of heretics here and there.

Jobial

Jobial: adjective. Someone called jobial accepts all challenges thrown their way with grace and good humour. Jobiality is typical of very religious people, who embrace all of their hardships and praise the Lord for his mysterious ways, maintaining a "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" attitude in face of the meaningless void that is existence.

Forelorn

Forelorn: adjective. Describing something which is predicted to be pitifully sad and abandoned or lonely, or unlikely to succeed or be fulfilled. For example the endeavor of Christopher Columbus was mocked as forelorn, which was eventually proven incorrect due to his perseverance and hard-work. Today Columbus' efforts to overcome this forelorn sentence are often overlooked and he is mocked for having arrived at a continent known to many people before him, the Vikings being just one example. Columbus was however unaware of these accounts, clear from the fact that he refused to believe he hadn't landed in the East Indies. Columbus may be partially responsible for initiating the genocide of millions of native people of the Americas, but no more so than the majority of the people of his time. Columbus was also most likely a tyrannous governor of Hispaniola, but this does not take away from his laudable efforts in setting out on his voyages and overcoming many difficulties to achieve the feat. Today Columbus' landing and discovery are an opportunity to celebrate the richness gained through the process of mestijaze, indigenous resistance, cultures and respect for cultural diversity.

Sone

Sone: noun. Pronounced so as to rhyme with 'loan'. The end bit of tape that you need to find when you want to use tape. This word was coined by Dr. Horace Day, who was frankly amazed that this word didn't already mean something, it's such a plausible combination of 4 letters, it looks like it should mean something, but until Dr. Day, it hadn't. To be fair, we were all pretty amazed that it didn't already mean something...we just kinda assumed it did...it just totally looks like it has to mean something...ya know...do you get what I'm sayin'?

Prorn

Prorn: noun.


1. Porn involving prawns.
2. Porn involving Marcel Proust or the works of Marcel Proust.
3. Premium porn - porn that you have to pay more than 13.4% of your weekly salary for.
4. Prejudiced porn - porn with a person judging you from the side.
5. Porn involving the man who announces "and now back to our regularly scheduled programming."
6. Prestigious porn - porn involving at least two members of a noble house and a respected academic.
7. Porn involving Pringles in some way.
8. Porn with the music of Prince as the soundtrack.

Panjamdrum

Panjamdrum: noun. The hypothetical barrel that could contain all the marmalade in the world. This was part of a thought experiment the English writer Samuel Richardson, who was attempting to make a point about the power and authority of the Pope, which seemingly got away from him. Since then panjamdrum has been used in various scenarios involving bees, horticulture, bears, seagulls and the like.

Quasi-hyperpathetical

Quasi-hyperpathetical: adjective. Describing something which appears to be incredibly miserable and contemptibly inadequate, but in fact isn't. For example the love life of J. Alfred Prufrock was initially described as "so sad and disappointing it's almost tragic" by Christina Rossetti, the immortal Queen of Sick Burns, but upon further inspection, all of Rossetti's claims were refuted by Robert Frost, who was a sad excuse for lumberjack who didn't have the balls to be an actual lumberjack, so he just wrote weepy poems about it. Rossetti out.

Serendipetous

Serendipetous: adjective. Occurring or discovered due to a force acting to cause the occurrence or discovery in a  happy or beneficial way. Serendipetous is the sister word to 'serendipitous', both are the children words of  'serendipity', which is in turn the child word of 'Serendip', which is the cousin word of 'Sielen Diva' and the aunt word of 'Ceylon'. The whole word family has been recently denounced by the 'Lanka' word family, headed by the father word 'Lak-diva', which true to form, is definitely a diva.

Smughead

Smughead: noun. A person with the unique and frankly incredible ability to convey his or hers or theirs smugness in photographs. One would assume that smugness is a quality that emerges through a person's actions and behavior and thus shouldn't be captureable, and yet smugheads emanate their smugness to such an extent simply from their appearance and expressions that it can actually be preserved and recorded on photographs.

Santaism

Santaism: noun. A religious movement founded on the idea that Santa with his flying reindeer and mystical express-delivery abilities is the highest form of power in the known and unknown universe. The religion is most prevalent amongst UPC and Amazon communities, who have developed intricate shrines to Santa and in honour of Santaism inside trucks, airplanes and warehouses. The largest Santaist temple, the Golden Bauble, also holds the record for largest Cardboard box fort.

Screem

Screem: noun. A visual representation of a scream. Screems are notoriously difficult to create successfully and many artists throughout history have attempted to do so. Perhaps one of the most successful and aesthetically-pleasing screems was created by Giuliano Pessello as a fresco on top of the Parthenon in Rome. Unfortunately the paints that Pessello used were water-soluble and so were washed away only 245 days after the screem was completed.

Junkette

Junkette: noun. A dish of sweetened and flavoured curds of milk and an assortment of cheap toys from the 90's, those various leaflets you get at conventions, several drawers filled with plastic bags, all those little screwdrivers from IKEA, various little knickknacks that you'll definitely need one day and spare pieces of Lego that don't seem to fit anywhere.

Lumination

Lumination: noun. The process of covering a piece of paper in a layer of glowing plastic from both sides so as to protect the piece of paper, make it more sturdy and glowing, so that it is readable in the dark. Lumination was originally developed in the 1980's by the physical chemist John W. Boothe in his lab in MIT. Boothe claims that it was mostly an accident, he had left a piece of plastic in a solution while he left to go to the theatre, and when he returned the piece of plastic was glowing brightly and vividly and so his immediate thought was to try it in lamination.

Desssert

Desssert: noun. A vast expanse of land composed entirely of sweet, sugary treats, such as pancakes, crepes, eclairs, cakes, pies, and chocolate, as well as others. Examples of dessserts include the Great Frosted Plains of Siberia and the Brulee Plateau in Argentina. What the various tourist bureaus that are responsible for the dessserts, is why there aren't more people visiting them.

Applausible

Applausible: adjective. Something which warrants an expression of approval in the form of furious and repeated striking of palms together. This word was coined by theatre critic Samuel Tage, who described the performance of John Gielgud and Alec Guinness in Anything Goes, calling the finale "truly applausible".

Contra-diction

Contra-diction: noun. Diction used to oppose an argument or thought. This category of words was first defined by Jost Trier in his well known and public debate with Pope John XXIII, where they debated whether planting rapeseed along with maize in one field was a feasible and sustainable mode of farming. Trier used this sentence during the break in the middle of the debate: "His Holiness uses contra-diction, that would be laughed at even by Nero."

Airsmith

Airsmith: noun. A being from ancient Greek mythology, airsmiths were the children of the gods Hephaestos and Nemesis and they created Zeus' lightning bolts after Hephaestos got bored and also maintained the clouds, which worked as support structures for Mount Olympus. They are the inspiration behind the name of the popular American rock band Kiss.

Rainarrow

Rainarrow: noun. The ammunition/missile for a rainbow.

Dredful

Dredful: adjective. Describing something which is causing or involving great suffering, fear or unhappiness and is also entirely and completely red. Examples of dredful things include: Mars, the number 12, Chairman Mao's Little Book, and Tomatoes without their stems.

Rafter

Rafter: noun. The common definition of this word is of course the wooden beam used in roof support, but the word was originally meant to describe someone who operated a raft. How the definition of the word changed so drastically is actually a fascinating tale, unfortunately we can't relate it all in the limited space we have here. I can only reveal that it involved two men, a duck, an earthquake and seven storks.

Blaim

Blaim: verb. To blame oneself. This word was introduced into the English language at the same time as 'blame' and was intended, so that people wouldn't have to use the added word 'oneself' or 'myself', when they wanted to blame themselves, they could simply use blaim. Unfortunately what the creators of the words, two monks by the names of Jesse and Wilderhelm, didn't think of, was the fact that both words were pronounced exactly the same and thus hadn't solved the issue of having to use 'oneself' or 'myself' at all.

Demenish

Demenish: verb. A sociogeographical phenomenon where the ratio of men in a population decreases rapidly for unknown or inexplicable reasons. The word was first used by the renowned illiterate theologian John Savage in his seminal 1845 work, "Figs and such", where he referred to the sudden change in the behavior of oxen, "The population of locusts in Kent has been suddenly demenished, which has led some to speculate about the potential implications for combine harvesters."

Disinterrested

Disinterrested: adjective. Describing something or someone, who/which has been dug up after having been buried, but who simply doesn't seem to care, mostly likely due to having given up on life. An example of this occurred in 1882, when the poet Emily Dickinson had been buried after being found in her room, seemingly dead and it only later turned out she had simply been having a nap, however after having been dug up again, Dickinson was only upset that her nap had been disturbed by the digging up.

Funcomfortable

Funcomfortable: adjective. This one seems pretty self-explanatory. Yes, this is a definition (entirely factual ones, mind you), but this seems unnecessary. Here, why don't you give it a go? Think up a definition for funcomfortable, write it down on a piece of paper, fold the piece of paper into a beautiful paper flower, place the flower gingerly into a small box, wrap the box in tin foil, attach an address for a friend you haven't spoken to in at least 92 days, mail the box to the person and then never think about it again. Ever.

Funtastic

Funtastic: adjective. Describing something which quite literally does not possess a single fault; something that is entertaining and awesome and doesn't cause harm to anyone/anything. This word hasn't been properly used in connection to anything since the time of Atlantis, which some say is a reflection on today's world, but I don't really see it. Inappropriate uses of funtastic have included using it to describe Donald Trump's hair, John Oliver, that one guy at a party who looks like he's looking off into the distance, but is actually looking at you and your friend points it out and you suddenly feel both giddy and funcomfortable at the same time.

Slothsome

Slothsome: adjective. Used to describe something that is ridiculously inefficient, in expending a pointless amount of energy to achieve a task that is ultimately pointless. Examples of things that could be described as slothsome, include sloths, organizing a desk, lawn-mowing, living life to the fullest, and physical exertion.

Monogramme

Monogramme: noun. A single metric unit of mass equal to one thousandth of a kilogramme. This word can only be used to describe something that weighs exactly one gramme, for example: "That feather is a monogramme." Uses of the word that do not align with this philosophy are a punishable offence with fines up to four turkeys.

Marder

Marder: noun. This word has too meanings, neither of which relate to tanks.

1. The process of creating a martyr by killing someone, because of a cause they are supporting or believe in. The International Association has decreed marder to be one of the stupidest things humanly possible, as creating a martyr is never a good thing.
2. A special room adjoining the kitchen which is used solely to store marmalades and associated marmalade products. This room does not accept jams.

Greace

Greace: verb. To apply greese to a surface or object. Greacing is actually the national sport of Macedonia, but remains surprisingly unpopular in Albania, where its application as a sport is seen as vile and unholy. It is extremely difficult to properly greace, as it requires years of careful training and practice.

Greese

Greese: noun. An oily or fatty matter, which originates from southeastern Europe. The earliest example of this can be found in a less well-known work by Herodotus, in which he details a process through which Retsina becomes initially drinkable and then turns into a surprisingly useful greese, which can be used as an adhesive, sealant, insulator and many other fascinating applications.

Squary

Squary: adjective/noun. This word has two separate meanings, each with their own distinct pronunciation.

1. This definition of the word has a pronunciation that rhymes with "carry". It means to resemble a square in shape. Therefore something with sides of equal length and angles of 90 degrees could be referred to as very squary. On the other hand something spherical would be thought of as extremely unsquary. 

2. This definition on the other hand has a pronunciation that rhymes with the Canadian "sorry". It means the target or object of a hunt or pursuit that also happens to begin with 's'. For example if a group of men are taking pitchforks and torches to the house of a man named Simon, then Simon is their squary. This is also of course true of animals; sloths and squid are examples of common types of squaries. 

Cloyster

Cloyster: noun. A covered walkway usually in a convent or monastery, which is in the shape of a rough oval with one side more squary than the other. Cloysters were particularly common in medieval Andorra with over three hundred being constructed in the span of three and a half millennia.  A popular phrase that originated from that time is: "The world is my cloyster." This saying referred to the never-ending turmoil and misery of life and the seaming inability to escape the endless tedium.

Raphal

Raphal: adjective. Raphal people love fish and healing, sometimes healing fish or even healing using fish. Never tell a Raphal person that you are sick while they are holding a fish. Odds are that they will slap you with it or tear it apart and smear it all over you.

Urial

Urial: adjective. A Urial person loves light, art, and flaming swords. Despite their love for clarity and brightness, Urial people tend to be the ones surrounded by the greatest mystery. Their identity is often difficult to place, confused, and sometimes even neglected in an inundation of conflicting accounts. Remind you of anyone? No? Didn't think so.

Michal

Michal: adjective. To be Michal is either to keep wondering who is like God, or to be like or pertaining to the archangel Michael. Being like Michael tends to entail inflicting righteous violence on unsuspecting and suspecting victims alike, and acting very self-entitled about it.

Gabrial

Gabrial: adjective. In a very literal sense, to be Gabrial is to rely on God as the source of one's strength. However, the word is usually used in the sense of 'like or pertaining to the archangel Gabriel.' People called Gabrial tend to wear linen, dress in white, carry around horns, dictate books, and give unwanted news.

Onany

Onany: noun. The word Onany, derived either from the German "Onanie," the Spanish "Onanismo," or the French "Onanisme," is the act of pleasuring oneself sexually (also known as "the M-word," "the rustle mustle," "the naughty game with one's private bits," and "the no-no dodo"). To commit onany is to onanate, and a person who onanates is an onanator (which, despite its intimidating sound, does not come with any superpowers). Whichever language it derives from, Onany ultimately traces its origins back to the "sin of Onan," though commentators argue over whether Onan's sin consisted in spilling his seed or disobeying God. While the latter seems to be the more plausible and more scripturally justified opinion, the idea that the sin of Onan consisted in spilling his seed has found very militant supporters in many churches, which apparently thrive on telling people what not to do with their dingle-dongles.

Disabel

Disabel: verb. To disabel is to permanently reduce the functionality of a person to nothing. The word comes from some of the earliest Latin translations of the book of Genesis, which went something like this:

8 Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.
9 One could say that made him pretty... disabeled! 

For one reason or another, this cheesy pun was eventually dropped in favour of a rather redundant dialogue between Cain and God, both of whom of course knew what had occurred, one by virtue of his involvement, the other through his omniscience.

Serpend

Serpend: verb. To serpend has a range of meanings:
1. To dispose of a serpent, e.g. in the sentence "I had the pest control serpend my house."
2. To move in a serpent-like fashion, i.e. through undulation and coiling. "The snake serpended to the smooth rhythm of the rumba."
3. To be dependent on a serpent, e.g. "It serpends: how big was your child the last time you saw it and could it fit into a medium sized anaconda?"

Ovidation

Ovidation: noun. A period of high productivity in the life of a poet. Some poets have Ovidations often, while others may not have an Ovidation their entire life. Some poets have Ovidations in regular cycles, while others Ovidate in a completely haphazard fashion. It is the tragedy of many poets that their Ovidations do not necessarily increase their poetic productivity, but productivity of very irrelevant kinds, like in curling, sex, or blueberry-picking.

Aighnneeasse

Aighnneeasse: unknown. The word Aenneeasse is a product of an experiment with the English language devised by Lewis Carroll. Carroll postulated that any word in the English language could be doubled in length using common spelling conventions without changing the sound of the word at all. Using the English spelling of the name "Aeneas" (six letters) to demonstrate the concept, Carroll showed that the word Aighnneeasse (twelve letters) makes the word twice as long without changing its sound at all. Carroll repeated this experiment with many other words, such as shoe (schueuet), ale (eighle) and a (uh or ey, depending on the pronunciation). However, Carroll ran into an insurmountable problem with the word "thought." The word "thought," Carroll said, was already so full of letters it didn't need that it did not fit his hypothesis. A year later, he attacked the problem again, saying that any word in the English language could be written in a simple way (unless it was written in a simple way already), and this simple spelling could then be doubled in length while keeping the pronunciation. For example, the word "thought" can be simplified to "thoht," which can then be expanded to the twice as long "thouwghtte." None of the words Carroll came up with during the experiment, however, were given definitions, and so they roam the world to this day, homeless monsters from the darkest nightmares of a truly evil Doctor Frankenstein.

Telemaniac

Telemaniac: noun. A person obsessed with long distances and anything connected to them. Telemaniacs love long-distance friendships, travelling, and fathers lost at sea. Their condition is called telemania and when they fly into a rage, they are referred to as telemaniacal. The opposite of telemania is anchimania, which is an obsession with things that are nearby and is recommended over telemania by nine out of ten psychiatrists.

Scyll

Scyll: noun. Scyll, pronounced the same way as the word "skill," is expertise with regard to controlling dogs. A person with scyll is called scylled. The word scyll derives from Scylla, a nymph who, according to certain classical sources, was transformed into a monster with dogs growing from her body. One could hardly get more scylled than Scylla unless one were actually a dog.

Aeolous

Aeolous: adjective. Windy, gusty, breezy, etc. The word aeolous derives from the name of the Greek lord of the wind: Aeolus. According to legends, he owned a sack containing all the winds of the world. Describing the weather as aeolous makes one sound very classy, even intellectual.

Kirkular

Kirkular: adjective. When a motion is described as kirkular, it is circular and has magical effects. The word derives from the name of the Greek witch Circe and is not spelled with two Cs, because then people would read it as "sir-kyoo-lar", which would break the convention according to which the witch's name is read as "Kir-kay", following the Greek pronunciation. Although this post might sound too rant-like, please do remember to read the witch's name as "Kir-kay" and remember that when she transforms Odysseus' crew into pigs, she does it with a kirkular wave of her wand.

Lotophagy

Lotophagy: noun. The word lotophagy has two meanings, both derived from Homer's Odyssey:
1. The literal meaning of the word lotophagy is simply the consumption of lotuses. One needs to practice lotophagy on a regular basis, however, to be called a lotophagian.
2. Doing pleasurable but unproductive things over what is necessary or important. A form of procrastination, lotophagy tends to be one of the most serious, as a lotophagian is a procrastinator so deep in their procrastination that they no longer feel any shame, and consequently, no need to stop.

Odystance

Odystance: noun. An odystance is a constantly changing and indeterminate length of space between two points. The most famous example of odystance is the journey of Odysseus' homecoming (or "nostos" in Greek). While at some points in the story, it is absolutely unclear where Odysseus is in modern geographic terms, at other points, Odysseus jumps from being really close to Ithaca to being blown back by the winds of Aeolus' sack, and therefore even farther than he was before.     

Parisan

Parisan: adjective. Pertaining to anyone of the name Paris. The word parisan was devised by the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language (MREL) to avoid confusion between the city of Paris and Paris the person. What the movement forgot to mention when it coined the word was how it should be pronounced. This is why there is a huge divergence today between people who say "pah-ri-sun," people who say "pah-ris-en," and those who say "pah-rye-sun." 

Briseisless

Briseisless: adjective. To be briseisless is to be deprived of some symbol of honour, or "kleos" in Greek. For example, one is called briseisless when one's degree is revoked or when one's Olympic medals are taken. Briseisless people tend to end up sulky, unemployed, or - especially in the modern world - candidating for president of the USA.

Andromake

Andromake: verb. To build up someone's masculinity. The word andromake comes from Homer's Iliad, in which Andromache, the wife of Hector, is used to reinforce the character of Hector, showing him as a loving husband and father, as well as a valiant fighter. Thanks to Andromache, Hector seems to become the most complete character and the best male role model in the whole work, thus making the word Andromake all the more relevant.

Pentheance

Pentheance: noun. The obstinate refusal to show penitence, also known as apenitence. Pentheance, or apenitence, is very different from unpenitence, which consists of revoking one's former penitence and going back to pentheance. The word pentheance derives from the character of Pentheus, who refused to acknowledge Dionysus as a god and was ripped apart by his own mother under Bacchic rage. 

Bacching

Bacching: noun. Support, whether material or emotional, given to thespians by the great god of theatre, Bacchus (also known as Dionysus). Bacching can take any form, from little gifts of wine and grapes to Bakkheia, a blinding rage that clouds the mind and grants superhuman strength. It is unclear whether the Hulk suffers from Bakkheia, but given the apparent lack of connection between him and Bacchus, this is quite unlikely.

Electral

Electral: adjective. An electrifyingly exciting character or person, just like anyone but Electra in Aeschylus' Oresteia. Unlike the word she gave birth to, Aeschylus' Electra is terribly bland, never really giving a satisfying explanation for her loyalties other than consuming self-righteousness. This is why Jung came up with an even more unsatisfying explanation for her behaviour, attributing it to attraction to her father and subsequent animosity towards her mother. Be it as it may, Aeschylus' Electra is partially responsible for her mother's Clytemnestran fall, for which she shall never be forgiven... at least not by me.

Agamemorable

Agamemorable: adjective. Memorable for all the wrong reasons. The word is not entirely synonymous with the word infamous, as agamemorable tends to have pathetic connotations, rather than the evil connotations that seem to tack onto the word infamous. Agamemorable people, rather than being remembered for being good or bad, tend to be remembered for being unfortunate. Examples of such people include Agamemnon, Don Quixote, and my personal favourite: me.

Orest

Orest: noun. The recovering of strength thanks to favourable court rulings. Examples of the word used in a sentence include:
"The defendant gained orest after the judge pronounced him not guilty of stuffing salmon in people's trousers."
"I am hoping that after taking it to court, I will get some orest from this whole divorce and multiple murder."

Cassandraconic

Cassandraconic: adjective. Something - often a punishment - is called cassandraconic when it is not only harsh, but also somehow clandestine or not entirely evident to other people, which adds to the torment of the sufferer. As opposed to draconic punishments, such as public decapitation or flogging, cassandraconic punishments have an added psychological dimension. Examples include the curse on Cassandra that made other people disbelieve her prophesies, the curse on Zechariah that made him dumb, or the curse on Echo who could then only repeat the ends of what other people said.

Clytemnestran

Clytemnestran: adjective. A Clytemnestran character is a tragically misunderstood, usually female character, who is negatively portrayed or receives negative treatment for resisting dominant powers. The epitome of Clytemnestran is, of course, Queen Clytemnestra, who takes revenge on her husband for killing their daughter Iphigenia. She is murdered by her son and is portrayed very negatively throughout the whole of the Oresteia largely because she dares exert this power over male characters. Another Clytemnestran character in classical literature is Arachne, who speaks against the wrongdoings of the gods and is punished by being transformed into a spider. A more modern example of a Clytemnestran character is The Queen of the Night from the Magic Flute, who loses a desperate fight for her daughter and her former power against an evil misogynist cult led by the severely deluded Sarastro.

Iphigenial

Iphigenial: adjective. To be iphigenial is to be genuinely happy while ignorant of an impending catastrophe. Such was the case of Iphigenia, the daughter of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra, who was told that she would get married, but was instead led down the isle to a sacrificial ceremony. The words iphigenial and iphigenially can be used in sentences such as the following: "The game of the iphigenial children involved poking an electric outlet with a fork" or "The tourist iphigenially pranced around the minefield."

Oedible

Oedible: adjective. To be oedible is to have the potential to be eaten, but it should rather be left alone. Sadly for the word oedible, most people use this term with very inappropriate sexual connotations, saying that, for example, Oedipus' mother was oedible. In non-sexual conversations, the distinction between eatable and edible has largely rendered the word oedible unnecessary.

Haimony

Haimony: noun. The precarious appearance of serenity maintained by a person right before going down the path of no return. The word Haimony originates from an ancient treatise about the character of Haimon from the play Antigone. Haimon appears perfectly unperturbed even with the impending death of his betrothed, but his composure devolves very fast after a heated conversation with his father who sentenced her to it. It is clear at that point that Haimon's composure was merely played - a haimony. 

Miskreont

Miskreont: adjective or noun. A miskreont is a person who acts within temporal laws but against the divine. Although similar in some ways to an ismenist, a miskreont actively goes out of their way to break divine laws, whereas an ismenist will only break divine laws if in contradiction with temporal laws.

Ismenism

Ismenism: noun. As opposed to an Antigonist, an Ismenist is a person who, though usually abiding by religion, will choose temporal law over religious law when the two are in conflict. An Ismenist is not exactly a secularist, as the latter term tends to imply complete separation from religious matters, which is not the case of Ismenism. In the story of Antigone, Ismene is the person who goes along the path of least resistance and forsakes religion when it would mean acting illegally.

Antigonism

Antigonism: noun. Antigonism is the belief that religious laws have precedence over temporal laws. An Antigonist will not necessarily live a monastic life and actively follow all religious commandments, but when religious laws and temporal laws conflict, an Antigonist will always follow religion. Thus, an ancient Greek Antigonist would, for example, bury dead relatives even when the practice was prohibited by a king.

Unlive

Unlive: verb. To hit the 'undo button' on life. Sadly, no one has yet found the unlive button, so humankind and all other organisms are still subject to boring old death. The difference between unliving and dying, however, is possible to conjecture and is very simple. Whereas dying is the natural end that living tends towards, unliving is a reversal of the living process until there is no life. So, while a corpse is left of a person after dying, only abiotic matter is left after unliving. 

Sedude

Sedude: verb. To seduce someone in a very manly manner. Sedudion is typified by a lot of (1) muscle-flexing, (2) misogyny, and (3) frequent use of the words "dude" and "bro." Examples of sedudion in practice include the following three scenarios:

1. A man walks up to a lady in a gym and, in an effort to display his physical prowess, tears off his own arms.

2. A man calls a waitress and tells her to bring him a sandwich.

3. "Hey dude... you wanna hang out, bro, with me and the guys, dude? We can do somethin' really manly, dude, like, uh, ... gettin' really hammered and going to a strip club? Whaddya say, brah?"

Queueueue

Queueueue: noun and verb. A queueueue (pronounced kyoo-yoo) is a queue about double the length of an average queue. To queueueue is to stand in such queue. Intuitively, a que (pronounced keh, like in Spanish) is a queue half the length of an average queue, a queueue (pronounced kyoo-eh) is a queue one and a half times longer than an average queue, and a queueueueueue (pronounced kyoo-yoo-yoo) is a queue three times longer than an average queue. To make these distinctions clearer, we include a table with the queue names, pronunciations, and lengths:

Name	Pronunciation	Length
Que	Keh	½ of a queue
Queue	Kyoo	A queue
Queueue	Kyoo-eh	1½ of a queue
Queueueue	Kyoo-yoo	2 queues
Queueueueue	Kyoo-yoo-eh	2½ of a queue
Queueueueueue	Kyoo-yoo-yoo	3 queues

You get the picture. Since you were probably wondering, when the length of the queue is indeterminably great, the correct term for the queue is "screw it, ain't nobody got time for that."

Gud

Gud: adjective. Something worse than good. The word gud perfectly encapsulates the way people say "good" when they are not entirely content (and perhaps a little irritated) with some situation. The "oo" sound heard in "stood" or "understood" turns into a curt "u", as in "put" or "foot." An example of the word gud used in a conversation is the following:
"Hey, I'm throwing a party."
"Nice, can I bring my dog?"
"Only if you have to..."
"Then I'm taking my dog."
"Gud."
"What do you mean?"
"Just what I said: good."
"No, I distinctly heard you say gud."
"What's the difference?"
"Read this blog post again, you dolt."

Okayish

Okayish: adjective. When something is okayish, it is on the verge of being okay (or ok), but not entirely okay. While it is possible for something to be okayish in the sense that it is almost better than okay, most things called okayish tend to lean towards being bad, or simply "not okay" in the negative sense of the word. An example of the word being used in a sentence is: "Well, I guess dinner with only one of your parents is okayish." Notice that you will probably have read the word okayish as "okay...ish," which is an okayish way to read it.    

Daduous

Daduous: adjective. The quality of being like a dad. When one is daduous, one has greying hair, recounts bad jokes, and goes through midlife crises. Many people are at least partly daduous and quite a couple are completely so, even without having children or being a man. What this proves is the aptness of the saying "mind over matter."

Skunky

Skunky: adjective. Being skanky and like a skunk. There are multiple ways in which one can be skanky and there are multiple ways in which one can be like a skunk. All of these often overlap. The word skanky usually refers to physical or moral dirtiness, while skunks tend to be dirty only physically. However, skunks, have plenty of characteristics apart form that, such as black-and-whiteness, smelliness and cuddliness. So, an example of skunkiness would be the morally corrupt and black-and-white haired Cruella de Vil or a dirty but cuddly dalmatian.

Automato

Automato: noun. Unlike a tomato, which ripens on a plant, an automato is a tomato that ripens by itself. Cases of complete automatoism are extremely rare - if at all existent - as seeds tend to germinate into plants and not directly into fruits. However, it is often the case that when a young tomato falls off a plant, it can still ripen, thus becoming an automato.

Thoughtmato

Thoughtmato: noun. A device that looks like a tomato and actually is a tomato. The typical user of a thoughtmato thinks it has more functions than a tomato, and is thus willing to pay over 50% more money to obtain one. However, the truth of the matter is that the only real difference between a tomato and a thoughtmato is - in the words of the great Bernard Shaw - not how it behaves, but how it is treated. Some see tomatoes as inferior to thoughtmatoes because they treat them so, and always will. As the good consumers they have been conditioned to be, however, they never question any of this.

Thomato

Thomato: noun. A Thomato is a tomato belonging to a person named Thomas. The crazy thing about the word Thomato is that there is no audible difference between that and the word 'tomato,' which makes for a very confusing world. Secret: one of the authors of this blog may or may not have unwittingly used the word Thomato all his life, even in reference to normal tomatoes.

Litteral

Litteral: adjective. Pertaining to a litter (of animals) or litter (as in garbage). Because of this ambiguity, it is often difficult to decipher whether a person referring to a cat as litteral means to say that it is one of many siblings, or that it is trashy. Just for your information, a cat can be referred to as trashy when it dresses in skanky clothing, hangs around in bars, or acts suspiciously like the characters on Jersey Shore.

Dicken

Dicken: verb or noun. There are four commonly accepted definitions for the word dicken.
1. Verb: To become a phallic object.
2. Verb: To become a jerk.
3. Verb: To become fatter, derived from the German adjective 'dick.' 
4. Noun: Diced chicken, sometimes also known as chicen.

Wattley

Wattley: adjective. When something is wattley, it looks or acts like a wattle - the little fleshy bit hanging from the chins of animals such as chicken or cassowaries. The word wattley can be used literally and figuratively. For example, someone's chin might be called wattley in the literal sense if it can be taken and flapped about in an amusing fashion. On the other hand, the word wattley can also be applied figuratively to a person who is indecisive or ambivalent, to use the technical term: wishy-washy.

Goaleal

Goaleal: adjective. Pertaining to a goal or goals. In Aristotelian terms, when something is called goaleal, it is an end in itself, e.g. happiness. When something is only worth pursuing as a means, it is called meanial (not to be confused with the word 'menial,' though there are some commonalities between the two terms). We can thus efficiently say what it took Aristotle five years to say in the Nicomachean Ethics, i.e. that bridle-making is meanial to the goaleal art of horse-riding.  

Testify

Testify: verb. In the same way that to ratify is to turn something into a rat and to purify is to turn something into puree, to testify is to turn something into testicles. Though many linguists are of the opinion that testifying should mean turning something into a test, English never was a rational language, which is the only one-o'clock-in-the-morning-response the sad creators of this blog could come up with. 

Necromantic

Necromantic: noun. A person or animal who is asexual but desires a genuine relationship with one or more dead bodies. Necromantics love going to history museums featuring skeletons, mummies or even urns, though some subsets of this broad spectrum of people, such as zoonecromantics, are equally happy to see nature museums instead. If a specimen is old enough, the person or animal desiring a meaningful relationship with it is called palaeoromantic and not palaeonecromantic, as that would be somewhat redundant.    

Diggle

Diggle: verb. To diggle is to dig a little. Diggling is one of the favourite pastimes of dogs who get reprimanded for digging and have to, therefore, resort to a more clandestine form thereof. The interviewees we summoned for this post have however, reported that it is exactly the very illegality of digging that makes diggling so appealing. The only solution, they say, is to get it out in the open, despite the adverse effects to the well-being of our backyards.   

Dink

Dink: verb. Dinking is the technical term for taking care of marijuana plants. The word dink follows the pattern "I dink, you dink, he/she/it dinks; I had dunk, you had dunk, he/she/it has dunk; I dank, you dank, he/she/it dank."  A person who dinks is called a dinker and his or her job usually consists of watering pots and the joint weeding of green grass, herbs and buds.

Alreadythereness

Alreadythereness: noun. A key concept in Platonic philosophy denoting the state of something which is, very philosophically put, "already there." An example of alreadythereness as a quality is Socrates' argument that all knowledge is present in the soul waiting for its proprietor to re-discover it. Thus, all "new" information is not really "new," but in a state of alreadythereness, which seems to make life sort of boring. 

Comitatism

Comitatism: noun. Pride and patriotic sentiments for one's county or the national equivalent thereof, such as Kreis, megye or shahrestan. The word comitatism comes from the Latin word "comitatu," which is roughly the equivalent of an English "county." Comitatism usually is, in terms of size, greater than urbism (pride for one's city), smaller than provincism and statism (pride for one's province and state, respectively) and even smaller than nationalism (pride for one's nation or sometimes country). This distinction however, while covering the basics, has plenty exceptions. A proud Singaporean, for example, could be called an urbist or a nationalist, whereas a proud citizen of Beijing could be an urbist or provincist and a proud Berliner could be an urbist or statist. There is little overlap, however, between comitatism, provincism and nationalism, making marketing strategies based on affiliation far more bearable for everyone. 

Murdererer

Murdererer: adjective. To be murdererer is to have murdered more people than someone else. The word murdererer is not to be confused with the word murderouser, as the former pertains to actual killings carried out, whereas the latter is concerned with the mere lust for doing so. So, whereas we would call Shakespeare's Tybalt murderouser than Romeo, we would definitely call Romeo murdererer.

Confushe

Confushe: adjective. To confushe is to put someone in a state of bewilderment using the teachings of Confucius (also known as K'ung Fu Tzu, in which case the word is rendered confutze). One can use the word in very lame jokes such as the following: "I was very confushed when our teacher of ancient philosophies told us about the concept of filial duty. I mean, did your computer document ever give you thanks for being its father?"

Well we warned you it was very lame, so don't complain.

Confuse

Confuse: verb. Besides the traditional definition of the word "confuse," to confuse is also to put two fuses next to each other in an electric circuit. Whilst some may view confusion as useless and even confusing, confusion is often pleasing to those who have an eye for symmetry and like to see two of everything exactly mirroring their counterparts in electric circuits. That said, one should not be confused when one's confused fuses both blow at the same time, rather than offering double protection, as confusion is a condition that tends to convolute already confusing and complicated cases.

Cowgaze

Cowgaze: noun or verb. A cowgaze is a vacant expression usually bestowed by stupid people upon those of higher intellect. Besides 'giving one a cowgaze' one can also just 'cowgaze,' using the word as a verb. This enables us not only to construct the sentence that "Sarah Palin gave the evolutionary biologist a long and very unpleasant cowagaze," but also that "Donald Trump cowgazed at the news reporter whilst trying to figure out whether the Turkey he was being asked about was the country neighbouring Syria or the delicious meal he had for lunch." 

Feminym

Feminym: noun. A feminym is most usually the feminine version of a noun. For example, the noun "actress" is the feminym of the noun "actor," the noun "duchess" is the feminym of the noun "duke" and the noun "Dress" is the feminym of the noun "Dr" (as in Doctor and Doctress). It is also possible, though less common, to use the word feminym to distinguish between verbs seen as masculine and their feminine counterparts. For example, some languages grammatically distinguish between men marrying and women marrying. In this context, both the Swahili word "aliolewa" (she married) and the Czech words "vdala se" (she married) are feminyms to the words "alimuoa" (he married) and "oženil se," respectively.    

Hamdwichburger

Hamdwichburger: noun. The word hamdwichburger has two very different meanings:
1. A hamburger filled with ingredients usually put into a typical English sandwich, such as boil, toil, tears and sweat. 
2. An inhabitant of the lost city of Hamdwich which sank (into the ground) somewhere between the cities of Ipswich and Woodbridge, probably near the A12 some two hundred years ago.

Sandburgerwich

Sandburgerwich: noun. A sandburgerwich is sandwich bread filled with things that are normally put in hamburgers, such as ground beef, gherkins, cocaine and other addictive substances. Sandburgerwiches are commonly eaten at the Ascot horse races, a custom that began during the Victorian era, symbolising how being German inconspicuously came to form the centre of royal life - much like hamburger ingredients the a sandwich - with the arrival of Queen Victoria. 

Singural

Singural: noun. A singural is the Ural equivalent of a yodeler. The plural form of the word singural is singuralim, because it is fitting in the context of certain Hebrew writings, despite the fact that the word was not derived from Hebrew. Several sects based around the Ural Mountains claim that during the Final Judgement, the singuralim will "descend from the high mountains carrying harsh judgement upon mankind, as well as salted peanuts," which is written in the Apocalypse of Tobias, also known as the man with bird poop in his eyes. As is evident, it is unclear from the text whether the singuralim will be carrying salted peanuts or whether they will be judging them, spurring very passionate theological debate.

Plular

Plular: noun. A plular is a darn big load of plums. Pluralism is not too popular in plulars, as that would be singularly peculiar.