Segregation

Segregation: noun. Contrary to popular belief, this word actually refers to the process of separating people named 'Greg' from all other people in a given room. This practice was first put into place in Moroccan airports, when the government received word that a Greg S. would attempt to bring a highly dangerous bowling ball into an airport in Morocco. Segregation was employed to try and deal with this potential threat. It ultimately proved to be a false alarm and merely caused a hassle and for all people named Greg to never return to Morocco.

Examplery

Examplery: noun. A glass case full of shelves for specific categories, where each shelf contains slips of paper with examples pertaining to the category of said shelf. For instance, one of the shelves in the examplery may be labelled "moss", in which case the little slips of paper will have, amongst others, the following written on them: "takakiopsida", "bryopsida", "Kate", "Carrie-Anne", "oedipodiopsida" and others.

Credencial

Credencial: adjective. Describing someone who believes or accepts that something is true. For example, a little known fact is that Franklin D. Roosevelt was credencial of the idea that Shakespeare had never existed and his plays had in fact been written by cavemen in 403 BC. There was also the famous credencial Conner Candle, who spent his lifetime convincing people not to eat apples, since they were clearly designed by aliens to offer them a picture of the inside of the human body.

Creedance

Creedance: noun. The ritual, tribal rhythmic movements performed around a fire by members of the Cree tribe during their spring and autumn festivals. The creedance was first observed by a non-Cree during the well-known student exchange of the Year of the Beaver, when Little Big Toe was sent to the Assiniboine, who in return sent Massive Tree Tooth, who then had the honour of being the first non-Cree to observe the creedance. 

Convenience-apathy

Convenience-apathy: noun. The state of mind of most cats for the majority of their lives. Cats spend their days being conveniently apathetic to all of your actions, desires, dreams and hopes, that is until they themselves desire something, at which point the apathy seems to disappear and cats become extraordinarily loving creatures. SCIENCE has shown that convenience-apathy is what makes cats such popular household pets.

Schare

Schare: verb. It was the spring of the year 1973 and Willam Thornton Kenningworth III is sitting in the cafeteria of his school, the only upper class student in the entire precinct, as he is approached by his classmates and perhaps for the billionth time in his schooling years so far, he hears the phrase: "Sharing is caring you know." Later that evening, tired of the phrase he hears so often, 15-year-old Willam creates the word schare to simplify the whole matter. The fact that the word resembles the word 'scare' to such a degree, is probably just a happy coincidence, or a cruel joke on Willam's part...we may never know.

Prejudie

Prejudie: noun. A singular form of the word "prejudice", or the six-sided cube rolled daily by every person in the universe every morning, to determine who they will have an unusual distaste for. Interestingly, every person's prejudie has different options on it, in other words it is impossible for a any two people in the word to have the same range of potential enemies. Of course, as everyone knows, the punishment for forgetting to roll your prejudie in the morning is spending 15 minutes with Richard Dawkins in a theology class.

Loove

Loove: noun. An abnormal appreciation for coarse, fibrous, cylindrical objects used as bath sponges for washing. An affinity for these washing devices was first observed in the late 1890s by the psychiatrist William Wallace, who categorised loove as a specific form of affective disorder, similar in symptoms to bipolar disorder.

Pathematic

Pathematic: adjective. Describing something, which is very relevant to a current issue or topic being discussed, but holds virtually no value or worth. For example: if someone is discussing the best albums of the Beatles, then if someone interjects with the fact that Rubber Soul was the first Beatles album recorded continuously, then their contribution can be described as pathematic. One can discern if their comment was pathematic, because you are then given *that* look, you know...*that* look. An important question you should be asking yourself is how much of this blog is pathematic...

Stupithy

Stupithy: verb. To make someone unable to think or feel properly using extremely concise and forceful language, or using a fruit, usually some kind of citrus fruit. The word is pronounced so as to rhyme with 'amplify' or 'southern cabbage butterfly'. The word originated somewhere in Surrey, potentially on the crossword section of a Daily Express newspaper belonging to Ms. Edna Green of Woking.

Prophishy

Prophishy: noun. A prediction that doesn't seem quite right, and you're not entirely convinced that what it suggests will actually happen. Famous prophishies include that time Paul the Octopus thought Marlon Brando would score the winning goal in the Malaysia - East Timor match or the occasion during which the Wicked Witch of the East believed that Dorothy was actually controlled by a sentient aubergine.

Renegale

Renegale: noun. A wind or gust that has disobeyed the great Anemoi, who are therefore very angry and likely to cause a hurricane near New Orleans. Every once in a while, some silly tuft of air will get all uppity and decide that he's better than his masters and that he can do whatever he wants. He then runs off, usually to the Pacific ocean, wherein he loses steam and dies, sad and alone, while the great Anemoi laugh. Interestingly, it is usually Notos' winds that become renegales, probably because he's a bit incapable.

Deamon

Deamon: noun. A demon, the name of whom is Damon, or a person who has been decided to be so vile and repulsive that he must be a demon. In a very Dr. Faustus scenario, in 1764 a demon named Damon was charged with taking the body and soul of a Mrs. Pritchard, who was considered a deamon by her entire neighbourhood, to hell for punishment.

Aron

Aron: verb. To attempt to iron an article of clothing, using something that isn't an iron. This word was created after two events, which occurred in 1897 and 1903. In 1897 a maid from Kensington attempted to use a steam-powered toothpaste dispenser as an iron, which is an understandable mistake, since the two objects were very similar in appearance; unfortunately the maid did not succeed in ironing the clothes and in fact suffered significant burns. In 1903 a man in Kigali successfully used fresh elephant excrement wrapped in linen to aron his clothes.

Streem

Streem: verb. To appear to be flowing in a downwardly direction, while also remaining quite narrow and svelte. Unsurprisingly, this word is more commonly used to refer to things, rather than people or animals. Nevertheless, there is record of an incident involving an anaconda, badger and merry-go-round, during which the word streem was used.

Peeramid

Peeramid: noun. Part of the gymnastic routine performed by the House of Lords at the Commonwealth games, in which the hereditary peers and life peers compete to stack themselves in the highest possible triangular formation. The activity was briefly abandoned in 1965, when it led to the untimely demise of Baroness Heathford of Dumfries at the age of 95, when she was mistakenly and entirely accidentally positioned at the bottom of the peeramid by her ex-husband.

Dean

Dean: verb. To behave as if your name is Dean. Examples of this include answering when someone calls out "Dean! Where are you?" or picking up a name tag with the name 'Dean' on it, even though your name clearly isn't Dean and you don't even look like a Dean. Interestingly, this is the only name in the English language that this occurs with (except for Jeremy of course).

Deanily

Deanily: adverb. Describing an action, which has been performed in a way, which would resemble the actions of a person in charge of a significant academic unit at a university or college. The word was first used in 1694 at the University of the East-Middle Midlands as part of a satirical play about the university management and the lack of funding given to the IT department.

Deany

Deany: adjective. Describing someone who behaves in a manner similar to how the person in charge of a significant academic unit in a university or college would behave. The word was first used in 1785 in the University of Cambridge to describe an upstart professor, who seemed to view himself as far above his station. He was later stoned to death.

Prosect

Prosect: noun/verb. There are various definitions, which have been attributed to this word:

1. A particularly excellent bubbly wine, which isn't necessarily Prosecco, but probably is.
2. The supporter or believer in of a cult or sect; most probably a complete and utter lunatic.
3. To guard a person or thing, by inciting a group of fanatics to religiously worship the person or thing and not allow any 'normal' human being to approach the person or thing.
4. The head of a chapter in a cathedral, which does not have an appointed bishop or archbishop, but is in the diocese of a archbishop, who had served as a cardinal in at least 3 papal elections before passing the age limit for voting.
5. The area in a rink or stadium reserved for those who favour the home team, but aren't 'really that into sports, ya know...?'

Pubertie

Pubertie: noun. This word has two very distinct meanings:

1. The time in the life of a Bertie (boy or girl or neither), when he/she/it becomes sexually mature. Statistics have shown that pubertie occurs most often between the ages of 12 and 26.
2. The stage of the battle between hormones during puberty in which none of the sides can make any headway, leading to a confused, dazed, uncontrollable-urge ridden, human who doesn't really understand what's going on.

Cessant

Cessant: adjective. Describing something which ends, has an ending. For example, your life is cessant. The world is cessant. This universe and all other universes are cessant. In the end everything is cessant. Except pondering the finite nature of all existence, that is most definitely incessant.

Slangerous

Slangerous: adjective. Describing something which is false, malicious and definitely misconstrued, but also presented in improper language and using terms that definitely would not appear in the vocabulary of a perfectly respectable gentleman, good day sir!

Excemption

Excemption: noun. The state of being free from a principle or rule that does not follow a more general or commonly established rule. For example with the common mnemonic rule "i before e, except after c', the 'after c' clause is the exception to the general rule, however words such as 'science' and 'species' do not follow this exception, hence they are the excemptions in this scenario.

Birdplane

Birdplane: noun. A name proposed in the initial development stages of the airplane that eventually became known as the Concorde. This name was heavily favoured by William E. Boeing, which is very interesting, because his company had nothing to do with the development of the Concorde and the man had been dead for 13 years before the first flight of the plane.

Oldly

Oldly: adverb. To perform something in the manner of an old person (senior citizen), such as walking with a slight (or significant) hunch, not being to use a computer (or technology in general) appropriately (or at all). The word is considered offensive (or unacceptable) in most English speaking countries (essentially the Commonwealth and former assets of the Commonwealth), except for Belize (where it's apparently ok (they probably hate old people (who clearly shouldn't move to Belize), but what do I know)).

Lynation

Lynation: noun. The linguistic name for the process of taking an adjective and adding the suffix '-ly' to turn the verb into an adverb. Common examples of this include taking the word 'complete' and producing 'completely' or 'old' becoming 'oldly'. The term was first coined by Miriam Webster in the first edition of her eponymous dictionary.

Requit

Requit: verb. To end or terminate an activity after having already once (or more) having terminated or ended the activity in the past. This is a phenomenon particularly common amongst cowards and generally people without a backbone. It was used in the famous novel 'Holes' by Louis Sachar, in the sentence "And thus Stanley yet again requit his attempts at being a decent sort of fellow."

Litterally

Litterally: noun. A person who aids someone else in creating or causing a mess or disturbance. The word has been used in academic papers as a laymen's term for something which increases the overall entropy of a system, while in itself not changing, but instead remaining wholly annoying and completely unreasonable, honestly.

Flashee

Flashee: noun. The person at the receiving end of a promiscuous exposition and revelation by someone else. If you or someone you know is a flashee, then the United Nations Human Rights Commission asks us to inform you that the FA (Flashees anonymous) holds daily meetings for those, who have experienced psychological damage or feel vulnerable due to what they experienced.