Imdentiloquent

Imdentiloquent: noun. Pertaining to someone who speaks through someone else's teeth. Generally this word applies to people with dentures or simply to a person who has stolen someone's teeth and used them as his own. Obviously this also implies that the denture-wearing or teeth-stealing person also has a speech impediment, which leads him to speaking through his teeth, rather than much more clearly and eloquently. If you maybe considered that you are an imdentiloquent then there is a 24-hour help line that you can call anytime and there are people there who will listen.

Dominote

Dominote: verb. This word has two quite easily interchangeable meanings which are the following:
1. To win a game of domino.
2. To successfully perform a part in Daniel Auber's opera Le Domino Noir.
Clearly, it is very hard to distinguish these definitions even with plenty of context and so we urge our readers to use this word very discriminately.  

Cleptozoosis

Cleptozoosis: noun. The act of plundering animals. This is the worst crime one can commit in a zoo, ranked hire than murder or even genocide. The United Nations International Court of Justice decreed so in the first ever meeting of the International Court of Justice and it has been upheld ever since. A man was sentenced to death in Belize for stealing a pigeon in a zoo, where the pigeon didn't even belong to the zoo, but was simply flying through. That should give you an idea of what kind of a heinous crime cleptozoosis is.

Capericiousness

Capericiousness: noun. The arrogantly whimsical behaviour of cape-possessing superheroes. An example of such behaviour can be seen in episode four of Living with Superman, entitled Superman has a bad day at the supermarket. Basically, all that Superman does in that episode - well perhaps it would be more accurate to say what he doesn't do - is give a rat's rear end.   

Causeusse

Causeusse: noun. A couch made for two people, where one of the spots is occupied by Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss's publisher at Random House often complained that Dr Seuss was in his office so much that his sofa had become a causeusse and thereby originated the word. Since then only two other examples of causeusses have existed. The psychologist B. F. Skinner claimed that his causeusse with Dr Seuss sitting on it provided the most stresslessness.

Fragment 16:

However Pamela Pike was not in form today. Her acting was mediocre at best and an episode that centred on Pamela's character's creditodebitism really wasn't that interesting. Things did get a lot more interesting when the TV flickered and the programme changed all of a sudden. With horror Herb realised that what was he was seeing on the TV set was his own lab. A rather shy howerella appeared to attempt to explain what was going on, but his stummer really didn't help. He was yanked off stage and a rather imposing man stepped on and exclaimed: "I am the victimator! Starting tomorrow my devilish plan shall be put into action and I will finally rule the world! Tomorrow morning you will all willingly come to this laboratory and undergo a brapse." The TV set flickered and returned to the regular programming, but Herb wasn't paying attention, he was horrified! Global brapses, and conducted in his lab! He wouldn't allow it!

Ultracapernoited

Ultracapernoited: adjective. Describing someone who is extremely drunk and/or tipsy. This word is commonly used in the streets of Glasgow and is strongly opposed by the population of Edinburgh if it comes to visit Glasgow, for it considers the word a disgrace and an abuse of the English language, as well as an abandoning of Scottish heritage.

Skunt

Skunt: noun. A stunt-performing skunk. Considering the possible offense that one may cause by saying this word after words ending with "s," we have decided to leave the definition there and would like to interest you in some speculative facts about economic botany: If anyone ever offers to take you through time to the Netherlands in 1634, telling you that you can only bring one thing along, take a pot of tulips. If you're lucky and don't get mugged, you can sell them, buy yourself a nice manor in Amsterdam and never work again. 

Cagemosis

Cagemosis: noun. A husband being trapped inside a cage by his wife due to an unhappy marriage. Interestingly cagemosis is only illegal in 12 U.S. states out of 50. For example in Iowa cagemosis is perfectly legal and in the town of Algona, Iowa it is actually encouraged if the marriage is an unhappy one and the woman feels that it is the man at fault. If the man feels that the woman is at fault then there is little he can do about it and just be a man and suck it up!

Dreadkey

Dreadkey: noun. Speaking of donlocks, many readers have gotten back to us wanting to know what other locks could be opened by. A recurring question we have received was one about dreadlocks. Well obviously, we must answer that dreadlocks can only be opened by dreadkeys, but what is more interesting than the dreadkeys themselves is what comes out of the former dreadlocks. Their content often includes (but definitely is not limited to) fungi, plants, lice, rice, bugs and small rodents. There have even been cases of eggs hatching in some people's dreadlocks which were followed by furious attacks on their possessors by frantic chicken.   

Colonel Borborygmus

Colonel Borborygmus: noun. A famous arch-nemesis of Batman, who was known throughout Gotham City for using his incredible stomach noises to produce earthquakes capable of toppling buildings. It is rumoured that Colonel Borborygmus was responsible for the earthquake that destroyed Old Wayne Tower and required the construction of what became known as simply Wayne Tower.

Donlock

Donlock: noun. Have you ever wondered what donkeys open? Well, unlike monkeys, who have opposable thumbs and are therefore capable of opening most of the things that humans can open, donkeys have no such thing and so their list of things they could open is considerably smaller. This is why the donkey community decided to start manufacturing donlocks to have the satisfaction of being able to open things others can't open. It is, however, quite a mystery what donlocks actually are as the donkeys quite shrewdly decided to keep all of the information about them to themselves so as to prevent those meddling humans from finding out how it's done. 

Snaked

Snaked: adjective. An adjective describing a snake shortly after it has shed its skin (or, more accurately, moutled). The question that naturally arises from this definition is what time would be deemed as "shortly." To this there is a very simple answer that we retrieved from the Bible, specifically from Peter, 3:8:
"With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day."
It is then up to debate as to whether the specific snake is with the Lord or not to be able to answer the question properly.

Fragment 15:

It happened then that Herb was dressed up like a badger and sent to the denmarket trying to act as inconspicuously as possible. He was able to get a good deal and while Christina was transporting the waterman to the den, he was already headed there with the new owner himself. Getting rid of his obligations towards Christina (who, as was later found out, had snuffins hidden inside the waterman and was duly arrested by the badger who was really an undercover badger agent), Herb walked back home to his verdurating dirtwitches and chicketting companion and sat down contently on his couch to watch a suckerfish soap opera featuring his favourite actress Pamela Pike. 

Colonalborborygmus

Colonalborborygmus: noun. The rumbling sound of gas passing through the large intestine. This word is composed of the words colonal (referring to the colon) and borborygmus, which is the scientific term for "tummy noises". It is what all parents should explain to their children, when their spawn...I mean kids, claim that their "stomach is speaking in tongues".

Ananas

Ananas: noun. It is high time that the English language finally left its silly practice of calling ananases "pineapples," as they have little to do with apples and even less to do with pines. If one looks at a box of juice, one can easily comprehend why it is difficult for foreigners to understand English speakers and vice versa in philosophical discussions on this topic, as most modern world languages use the word ananas rather than whatever else one could call this fruit. The only widely known language that plays this tug of war on the side of the English speakers is Spanish with the term "piña," though it isn't too reliable of an ally as many Spanish speakers also recognise the words "ananá" and "ananás." It suffices to say that the word ananas has nothing to lose but its chains. It has a world to win.

ANANASES OF THE WORLD UNITE!

Batrachophrench

Batrachophrench: adjective. On the 24th of June, 1996 the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language combined the two words French and batrachophagous into one word batrachophrench, so as to eliminate confusion between the two. The main reason for this was that the two words mean literally the same thing, where French refers to a person from France and batrachophagous refers to something feeding on frogs.

Punchkin

Punchkin: noun. There are several possible definitions for the word punchkin. The most popular ones are the following:
1. The act of punching a relative.
2. A splattered pumpkin.
3. A violent munchkin.
There is even a festival in Riga called the Punchkinfest, which comes to a climax when people take out their hammers (some even bring sledgehammers) and start liquidating the pumpkins of the opposing team. Needless to say, many foreign observes have commented that this festival not only leads to the second definition listed above, but also quite frequently to the first and sometimes even to the third (munchkins get very angry when someone splatters their pumpkin house). 

Autohanosiography

Autohanosiographer: noun. One who writes about their own life in a demeaning, degrading and humiliating manner. The word is derived from the Greek word anosios meaning "unholy" and has been used to describe people who lessen their own accomplishments and achievements in their writing. This includes for example the famous novelist George Orwell, who in his autobiography 1984 claimed that he hadn't taken over the entire world, but only about one third. This is an excellent example of autohanosiography in the literary genre.

Portato

Portato: noun. A mysterious opening - some would even say gateway - that is said to be found in potatoes. According to the legends, portatoes lead to another dimension where potatoes rule the world and eat humans in the forms we usually eat potatoes in - mashed, fried, baked, sliced and so on. They even have their own shops where they sell human crisps and fast food restaurants that serve bucketfulls of human chips. It must be said though that just as is the case with the wardrobe leading to Narnia, one cannot simply try to squeeze oneself through a portato upon finding one, as it would most probably just splatter the potato. The people who successfully entered the potato dimension were those who unintentionally stuffed themselves into the potato while trying to eat it.

Antimemorial

Antimemorial: noun. A fancy construction designed in order to make people forget about a certain person or event. These constructions are usually deemed quite ineffective; for example the antimemorial to Guy Fawkes in the vicinity of the British parliament has become so counterproductive that the government decided to rename it to a memorial and hope nobody would notice.

Fragment 14:

"So what you're saying is" Herb said, "that instead of selling the waterman by himself, you are going to sell him in a den because that way you can mark him up more..."
"pulsh it!" Christina exclaimed in whisper; she wasn't quite sure whether to lament Herb's stupidity or to rejoice in the fact that he finally understood.
"So you are now going to buy a den to be able to stick a waterman inside it?"
"No!" Christina exclaimed emphatically "No, no, no! It just so happens that I am a pairess of such den (my dear friend Barry the Badger deceased a week ago) along with my dear cousin, whom I have gotten rid of to be able to claim the inheritance by myself."
"Gotten rid of?"
"Well she was getting on my nerves with all of her constant chicketting"
"Your cousin is a chicken?"
"I was being FIGURATIVE!"
"So what you are really saying is that you killed your cousin, want to dress me up as a badger and put yourself through the danger of being obliterated by the hambourgeoisie all because you want to sell the den of a dead badger with a waterman inside of it."
"Who will be marked up through the process."
"Good Lord!" 

Ananopisthographic

Ananopisthographic: adjective. Describing something which has writing on only one half of one side of a page. This can for example be used to describe the final pages of chapters in books, where the chapter ends on the first half of a page, but the chapter following the aforementioned chapter doesn't begin until the next sheet of paper in the book. In essence the entire previous sentence could be rewritten as "The chapter ended ananopisthographically."

Legato

Legato: noun. A posh term for hitting someone over the head with a leg. This leg must, of course, be isolated from the body, as the opposite would simply be termed kicking (or, in the case that the leg was used by someone else, involuntary kicking). A legato can also be conducted with a fake leg, whether it happens to be made of plastic, wood or some synthetic material. In most countries, a legato is regarded as a violent crime equatable to punching or kicking; however, in Italy, legatos are promoted by the government as a form of cultural heritage.

Agelast

Agelast: noun. Although this word is commonly used to describe someone who never laughs, it also has a secondary and unfortunately much less popular meaning, which means a period of time, which is taking an unusually long time to pass. Obviously this is all relative, since time doesn't have a speed, well it does, but you know what I mean! It's interesting, because obviously this meaning has a lot more sense and can be derived from the structure of the word, but nevertheless the definition for non-laughing person is much more commonly used. The meaning we prioritise as a blog would be used for example in the following sentence: "My God this class is such an agelast."

Sickophant

Sickophant: noun. An ill, wheezing elephant that finds it hard to talk without sounding like a broken vacuum cleaner. It is a sad fact of life that many people confuse sickophants with sicko-phants - elephants with slightly perverted tendencies. Another sad fact of life is that these people also tend to confuse the two terms with the word sickopants, a person whose trousers and underwear suffer from severe leprosy and fall off at the most inconvenient moments.

Socvusopothia

Socvusopothia: noun. An incestuous desire for one's mother-in-law. This word is derived from the Latin words socvusus for mother-in-law and pothos meaning desire. If one combines this theory that mother-in-law is an anagram for "woman Hitler" then the word itself could be interpreted as an incestuous desire for a female version of Hitler and suddenly the word seems quite logical and easily comprehensible.

Bantur

Bantur: noun. A series of uncomprehensible sounds, known to some as "weird Swahili babble," that can be encountered while visiting many parts of Sub-Saharan Africa. The obvious conjecture that many people would make here is that Bantur is simply language used by locals that others do not understand. This, however, is a very faulty conjecture indeed, as bantur is most commonly recorded in connection to tourists who think they can speak the local tongue but end up babbling in a way that no one (not even themselves) knows what they are trying to say, let alone what they are actually saying.

Orbituary

Orbituary: noun. A document of one's death launched into space and attracted by the gravitational pull of an object that has a greater mass than itself. To be a proper orbituary, it has to be attracted to the extent that it begins revolving around the object without crashing into it or being released. A good orbituary goes in circles rather than squares, triangles or dodecahedrons. This circular motion is also preferable over an elliptical one simply because the universe favours symmetry. 

Fragment 13:

"You do realise, Christina, that what you're saying is completely ingermane, right?" Herb said, "After all, you yourself must know that denmarkets are reserved for selling dens and not for getting rid of fossilised watermen."
"Herb, how can you be so Jarjarian?" Christina sighed, "Of course I am perfectly aware of this and I am going to use it to my benefit."
Herb looked at her with an expression of an empty walletta.
"Herb, you obtuse orckid! I want to sell the waterman as a piece of FURNITURE!"
"Oh, well you could have just said that without unintelligibalising everything! Plus, the plan is stupid. Why don't you just sell it normally?"
"You really are having a slow day, aren't you? Alright, let me explain. If I sold the waterman by himself, I would not be able to mark the price up by much now, would I? But if I sold him as a prop in a den, I could mark him up by perhaps even double the price. Get it?"
"That's just stupid."
"No, you're just stupid and you're jealous of my financial understanding prowess." 

Maccubation

Maccubation: noun. The practice of eating or drinking McDonald's while lying down. As everyone knows accubation was the practice conducted by the Romans of feasting while reclining in a leisurely posture. This concept was then updated in the late 1990's by a Mr Ronald M. to suit the modern generation, while preserving an important part of the antiquity. Maccubation has been considered dangerous by some people due to an increased risk of choking, but those people have never had a Big Mac on a waterbed.

Gloggles

Gloggles: noun. Goggles that glow in the dark. Invented in the 1980´s to help old aardvarks in Prague zoo to see at night, gloggles soon went down the toilet of history, as their usefulness began to be disputed immediately after one of the gloggle possessing aardvarks spent a whole week walking against the glass of his aardvarkium and another mysteriously disappeared. It wasn´t until the beginning of the twenty first century when some smart cookies realised that perhaps gloggles could also be worn by humans. The very first one who tried though, a Dutch cyclist living in Bohemia, fell into a river and choked on a trout after only two minutes of using them.

Abecederian

Abecederian: noun. A person who is learning to alphabet soup. One might think that this is the same as the commonly used word abecedarian, which refers to a person who is learning the alphabet. However an attentive person with the use of a magnifying glass may notice that there is a difference in the one, two, third! vowel of the word and the meaning is also distinctly different. A person learning to alphabet soup, or an abecederian (that's the whole point of this blog), is generally between the ages of 3 and 72 and may come from anywhere between Topeka and the small town of Tokyo, Japan.

Aardvarkium

Aardvarkium: noun. A container for aardvarks usually made of glass. While this container may be a temporary "house" to the aardvarks in times when their transportation is necessary, it is more often than not their permanent settlement in the same way that an aquarium is a permanent settlement to fish. A well known example of an aardvarkium is that of the Prague zoo, known mostly because of the fact that many dispute its claim to being a true aardvarkium.

Plossible

Plossible: adjective. Describing something which is so possible it's plausible or something which is so plausible it's possible. It's quite plossible that the word plossible is used every day at least twice in a regular plossible conversation, which is held by people who's existence is quite plossible. Of course one could get quite existential and suggest that their existence isn't plossible, because the likelihood of our existence in this perfect living environment in this perfect spot in the universe is so unlikely, that it's statistically more plossible that we're all just a figment of someone's imagination. We sincerely hope that has improved your day.