Portato

Portato: noun. A mysterious opening - some would even say gateway - that is said to be found in potatoes. According to the legends, portatoes lead to another dimension where potatoes rule the world and eat humans in the forms we usually eat potatoes in - mashed, fried, baked, sliced and so on. They even have their own shops where they sell human crisps and fast food restaurants that serve bucketfulls of human chips. It must be said though that just as is the case with the wardrobe leading to Narnia, one cannot simply try to squeeze oneself through a portato upon finding one, as it would most probably just splatter the potato. The people who successfully entered the potato dimension were those who unintentionally stuffed themselves into the potato while trying to eat it.