Runon

Runon: verb. This word has two meanings, which are used in very specific contexts:

1. When running a marathon, to continue running even after having finished the marathon. There are very few instances of this ever happening, although it has several times resulted in the lapping of several of the slower runners. The word was developed in this field by commentators of marathons, while they were having their lunch break.
2. To, while writing a text, intentionally leave out punctuation, such as commas, full stops, dashes and colons, and combine sentences to create, what is known as a run-on sentence, and as an observant reader may have noticed, this sentence itself is an excellent example of the aforementioned runoning. 

Melony

Melony: adjective. In order to at least partially explain the ambiguity regarding marshmelons, it is necessary to explain their meloniness. Being melony (which, by the way, can be pronounced the way it is spelt or even the way it is not spelt) shows itself in a few different forms. Someone who is melony usually has more bodymass, a round belly and possibly a green tint with stripes on their skin. A melony object often tastes like a melon (unlike melony people who taste like chicken), it may or may not be green and it always rolls down a hill like a melon when you push it (regarding that fact, it is rather similar to melony people).

Note to readers: none of the facts above were obtained experimentally but retrieved from people who have notable experience in this field. We would, therefore, like to thank the kind community in Papua New Guinea that helped us with this article, especially regarding the taste and downhill mobility of melony people.   

Marshmelon

Marshmelon: noun. There are two commonly used definitions of this word and it is often very hard to distinguish which one of them is being used in a particular sentence, even with plenty of context.
1. A sweet that is mushy, but also a little melony.
2. A melon that grows in a marsh.
As you can see, the above definitions are truly ambiguous and interchangeable, which is one of the reasons why this word is no longer used in formal and informal contexts alike. 

Spockera

Spockera: noun. An opera featuring the Star Trek character Spock. The role is quite often a minor one, for example in Verdi´s Aida, he only features behind the croud of singing Egyptians trying to zap a space alien with a laser gun. In another production, the Bartered Bride, the stage directions have Spock hiding behind the wide dresses of buxom Bohemian women, slowly crawling towards the spaceship parked in Jeník´s (the main protagonist´s) back yard. When given a singing role, as in the case of the famous opera Batman and the Spacemonkeys by Philip Glass, Spock is a baritone, but this is not necessarily the rule since Johann Strauss junior had a very young spock sing a lovely mezzo-soprano aria on a flying saucer in the operetta Fuchs du hast die Gans gestohlen.  

Dictionarize

Dictionarize: verb. Although you may think this means to add something to a dictionary, it in fact means to look something up in a dictionary; this word is significantly more popular than thesaurize, but is still used very rarely, something which has for years depressed the Webster family, who's ancestor, Noah Webster, coined the word after having found that in none of the 27 languages he learnt, was there a word to well suit his newest publication.

Thesaurize

Thesaurize: verb. To look for something, most probably a word in a thesaurus. This action is very common, although not as common as dictionarizing, nonetheless it is still quite surprising that thesaurizing hasn't become more popular in everyday speech. Unsurprisingly the word was coined by Peter Mark Roget, the creator of the first modern thesaurus, although interestingly he himself never used the word, because he became disillusioned with it.

Sunbrella

Sunbrella: noun. According to the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language, a sunbrella is an object used to shield oneself from the sun, but is not a parasol. The main difference between the two, as Lewis Carroll pointed out, is that a sunbrella simply isn´t a parasol and a parasol is not a sunbrella. Because of the similarity of the two objects (which Carroll never saw), one term for them eventually had to drop out of common usage and, sadly, it was not the word "parasol," which sounds completely un-English and even has the foreign words "para" (for) and "sol" (sun) within itself. 

Nimrodparadoxianism

Nimrodparadoxianism: noun. A word describing the paradoxical situation arising from a quality not being attributed to the person whom it is named after. This does not apply to people whose name is the name of a certain disease; for example, the fact that Parkinson never suffered from Parkinson´s is not a nimrodparadoxianism. However, the fact that the great ancient king Nimrod was not a nimrod (using the modern understanding of the word) is a Nimrodparadoxianism. According to the omnipresent and omniscient wikipedia, this paradox was caused by Bugs Bunny who sarcastically referred to Elmer Fudd as "nimrod," which was misinterpreted by a large part of the audience.

Gangaroo

Gangaroo: Noun. There are currently 4 definitions of this word, these are:
1. An alternative for the plural of kangaroo most commonly used to fit a letter limit, or as a way to try to win a non-multiplettering contest for one who did not notice the 2 As Gs and Os in the word.
2. An abnormally aggressive group of kangaroos, their behavior makes the difference between a gangaroo and a troop of kangaroos.
3. A doppelganger kangaroo, these are very hard to identify because it requires a gangaroo’s gangaroo to be found and then one has to be confirmed to have been born first to determine which one is really a gangaroo and which on is a kangaroo.
4. Decay of soft tissues of the body after an attack by 1 or more kangaroo(s), many have commented on how strange it is that if one were to suffer from this condition after an accident not relating to kangaroos (for example: being attacked by a bear) it would still be considered gangaroo rather than gangrene if the person was attacked by a kangaroo up to 24 hours before the accident.
More than one of these definitions can be used in the same sentence, for example: A man began to suffer from gangaroo after being attacked by a gangaroo of gangaroo gangaro.

Calicornithologicalisation

Calicornithologicalisation: noun. The simple way of saying "when a bird is caught by a cat." Granted, the word has more letters, but when the spaces between the words of the above definition are counted, Calicornithologicalisation comes out as the clear winner of word-simplicity. The term itself was coined one night by an unknown person in an unknown place watching an unknown TV station, most probably after the consumption of an unknown brand of liquor. Modern sortologists (you know, people who sort stuff) further split the term Calicornithologicalisation into two categories: Victoriacalicornithologicalisation and Defectocalicornithologicalisation, the former being the name for a successful Calicornithologicalisation and the latter for the opposite.

Permwhale

Permwhale: noun. A recently discovered species of whale that is either found around the area of the city Perm or during the Permean period. As time travel is becoming more expensive now due to the slow devalvation of Deutschmarks, the former description is the more commonly used one. However, there is no proof of such a type of Permwhale and the only confirmation of its existence comes from a few drunk Russians who claim to have seen a rather big fish last Saturday night.

Salutaricious

Salutaricious: adjective. Describing something which is helpful or beneficial. The word is clearly the direct opposite of pernicious and is commonly used in terms and phrases such as: salutaricious anaemia and salutaricious deed. It is unclear where the word comes from or where it was first used. There are many different theories; for example, one theory states that the word was first used in a lifeguard instruction manual to describe life guards.

Exfoliage

Exfoliage: verb. To remove or destroy unwanted foliage and shrubbery. This is common practice in gardens all around the world. Often combined with weeding, it is unknown, why this word has become so unpopular in recent days. Some suggest it could be traced to the decreasing number of gardens as people become overworked, more adrenaline based and with little time to tend to pesky decoration. There are reports of exfoliaging dating back to the 14th century AD, when the Queens of countries began to have a say in the decoration of royal castles.

Mountain

Mountain: verb. To act or show characteristics of being a mountain. To mountain means to behave rather stoically, silently and often being quite dull and dumb. Nevertheless mountaining is very popular in regions around the Caucasus, where to an uniformed tourist the local inhabitants may appear quite disconnected,  while they are in fact simply mountaining. The most famous case of mountaining was the famous and dangerous Mata Hari, who conducted mountaining during her trial and was later executed.

Pregnatable

Pregnatable: adjective. Describing someone who is capable of becoming pregnant. This word can be applied to most women from a certain age to a certain age. The women who are the exception to this can be described as impregnatable. The word was first used by famed gynaecologist James Marion Sims, who is commonly known as the father of modern gynaecology, not a popular computer simulation game.

Overpaper

Overpaper: verb. To be overwhelmed or overpowered by paper in some form or another. This can occur in many different forms, ranging from newspaper stacks toppling to toilet paper mummification. The first recorded case of overpaperment occurred in 2555 BCE, when a man died of intense bleeding in a field of Cyperus Papyrus. However this is not an official case of overpaperment, but rather overpapyrusment. Technically speaking the first official person to be overpapered was the man in charge of the Venice Patent Office in the early 15th century. The poor man was a friend of Francesco Foscari, and his death led to Foscari's embitterment and subsequent severing of ties between Venice and Florence.

Afrazing

Afrazing: adjective. As "merry" is associated with Christmas and "happy" with the New Year, afrazing is associated with Kwanzaa. It is used in phrases such as: "Have an afrazing Kwanzaa!" Interestingly although Kwanzaa was first celebrated in 1966, the word actually comes from 1953, when it was used by Hakim Jamal, early in his career, when he was attempting to explain what he believed in to Malcolm X. The word was then reused by Maulana Karenga, the master teacher, after Kwanzaa had become an established holiday. Kwanzaa is a recognised holiday, because it is not underlined in red, when typed into a Google document.

Hippochondriac

Hippochondriac: Noun. Someone who is unduly preoccupied with physical traits and beliefs that a discovery that they are in fact a hippopotamus is imminent. There have been many cases of hippochondria throughout history and there is no known cause for such a psychological condition. Some psychiatrists have linked hippochondria to Lachanophobia, specifically the fear of broccoli, but it is unknown whether or not this is causative or correlative. There is not yet a treatment that is consistently effective in preventing or recovering from hippochondria, some psychiatrists believe that eating enough broccolis will help one recover from this condition but this has not been tested for most hippochondriacs won’t go near the stuff. In recent years there has been an increase in hypo-hippochondriacs (people who fear that they may have hippochondria); a handful of Democratic politicians claim to believe that this is due to the actions of Republican party members, Republican politicians blame the Democrats, and Psychiatrists blame themselves.

Multiplettered

Multiplettered: Adjective. For a word or sentence to have multiple occurrences of the same letter. If a letter appears multiple times in order, the word/sentence is sequentially multiplettered. If a word/sentence is totally multiplettered then it is made up entirely of 2 or more of the same letter. If a half of a word/sentence is made up of the same letter, the word/sentence is semi multiplettered; an example in a sentence is, “’Mirror’ is a semi multiplettered word/sentence due to its Rs”. This word was first used in 1977 and quickly started competitions for young people to try to make the longest words/sentences that didn’t have multiple occurrences of the same letter, because of injuries sustained during these competitions they were quickly shut down or closely monitored for the next 2 years, at which point most people forgot about them. Non-multiplettering contests have not yet gained the popularity that they once had and few believe that they will, not because of what happened before, but because the competitions weren’t a very much fun at all.

Stalactasis

Stalactasis: Noun. The process of being injured and/or killed by the formation of a stalactite. While there are no recorded incidents of stalactasis, many anatomists have agreed that it is possible if one were to stay in the same place for too long. Because of this some anatomists have pushed to have signs outside of caves warning people not to hold still for too many centuries, unfortunately none these requests have been granted. Though there is some dispute about the details of stalactasis it is still far less controversial than the process of stalagmasis which has been the topic of many arguments among anatomists and sign-builders, these arguments usually divide people into 4 groups: People who believe in Stalagmasis, people who don’t, people on the side that costs the least money, and people who don’t care. While people who don’t care have won the majority of these arguments, each of them has received an anonymous message warning them that the topic cannot be avoided forever…

Starecrow

Starecrow: Noun. An alternative to the scarecrow, these structures typically has some resemblance to human heads and gives unsettling looks toward crows in an attempt to scare them away while not having to build a body for it. Starecrows have existed for centuries, originating as the severed heads of vanquished enemies mounted on large sticks. Starecrows are frequently used as Halloween decorations. Pumpkins have often been used to make starecrows but a certain level of detail in the eyes is required for it to be considered a starecrow, otherwise it will simply be a Jack-O‘-Lantern (A starecrow made from a pumpkin is also considered a Jack-O’-Lantern). Delegates in the UN have tried to motion to truly define how much detail is necessary to have a starecrow, these motions were not successful as the other delegates did not see this subject as relevant to anything.

Itchthyology

Itchthyology: Noun. The study of skin discomfort in fish. This study was founded by Jaques Cousteau at the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia, He noticed that some of the fish seemed to be rubbing against his anti-shark chainmail as if they were trying to scratch themselves. People often questioned why this study should be acknowledged, Mr. Cousteau would simply say that it may produce a cure for the itch caused by mosquito bites and made no further comments. Itchthyology lost popularity after the death of Jaques Cousteau in 1997 and is no longer recognized today, but some believe that there was a laboratory made to advance this field that is hidden beneath the Earth waiting to be discovered and revolutionize the way we approach itching.

Elcumber

Elcumber: Noun. A thin, typically green fruit which makes a noticeable “popping” sound as long as it is ripe. When placed upside-down an elcumber will make a loud sound much like a human infant crying. Because of its constant noise this fruit has failed financially several times and is no longer available as a commercial product. The elcumber was invented in a secret government base (Exactly which government(s) funded this base is unclear, even to the employees) which was made to make genetically superior plants to ones that exist today. Two employees apparently invented the elcumber after a conversation that went something like this:

“Why does the beginning of the word ‘cucumber’ sound like the letter Q?”

“Maybe it stands for something…”

“What would it stand for? Quiet? Is there a loud version?”

“There will be… There… will… be…”

There is no record of whether or not these employees still have their jobs.