Jarter

Jarter: noun or verb.  The word jarter has two definitions. Coincidentally, both of them, though derived in completely different ways, come in handy when one is in a dire lack of cash.

1. As a noun, a jarter is a garter made from a jar, which is far more useful than one may think, provided one maintains a relatively stable body weight and doesn't move one's legs too much.

2. As a verb, to jarter is to barter for jars. Such skill is very useful when one is stuck in strife-torn Bolivia and requires large storage jars for rice and mangoes.  

Drap

Drap: noun. Draps are curtains shorter than drapes. The word drap lost its substantial popularity when people started to question why there should be a word for something shorter than drapes when one could just simply call it a curtain. Since then, the word drap was repurposed to mean "drab crap," a comment often made about unsatisfactory clothing by people of the slightly impoverished medium rung of the lower upper class.  

Fromic

Fromic: verb. To fromic is to frolic with cheese... a lot of cheese:
Cheese that is carried, cheese that is found,
Cheese that is lying right there on the ground,
Cheese that is oval, cheese that is round,
Cheese that is everywhere, just look around!
New cheese and old cheese,
Blue cheese and gold cheese,
Hot cheese and cold cheese,
Spot cheese and hold cheese!

Nangle

Nangle: verb. The word nangle has several, wildly different definitions, so context plays a vital role for how the following are used:
1. To strangle a grandmother (or 'nan').
2. To strangle a nanny.
3. When a grandmother inclines at an angle.
4. When a nanny inclines at an angle.
5. When one looks at a grandmother or nanny from an angle.

Smigger

Smigger: noun or verb. A smigger is something between a smile and a snigger. To smigger is to make such an expression. Smiggering tends to occur most in confusing or uncertain contexts, in which it is unclear whether a matter is to be openly smiled at or snidely taunted. One telling use of the word smigger can be found in the semi-contemporary novel (semi-contemporary in the sense that it is a novel written about a long time ago but in an unintentionally anachronistic way) Anne Boleyn and the three dudes, which tells about Anne Boleyn's secret (and probably made up) sexual exploits:

Henry VIII paced the room like a giant bull-frog would if it could not leap.
"So what can you tell me about Henry Norris?" He asked, wound up like a tea-kettle before the little switch with the red light turns off.
Anne grew tense like a verb. She tried to conjure an image of a gallant aristocrat, but her mind was like a TV screen drowning in static. The 'static', of course, was the intruding image of a Henry Norris, naked like a fridge (a fridge without all of the annoying stickers and magnets, that is), with a penis the size of a flash drive.
"Only that he is a great man of great ways," she smiggered.

Glatch

Glatch: verb. To glatch is to gladly catch, to catch with an outward display of pleasure. For example, the sentence "the first baseman glatches the ball" tells us that the first baseman catches the ball while smiling, grinning, or showing his happiness in some other way (e.g. mildly salivating), ostensibly at having put the runner out with this action. The word glatch follows the conjugations of the word "catch." Thus, the present tense declensions are "I glatch, you glatch, he/she/it glatches, we glatch, you (plural) glatch, they glatch," the future tense is "will glatch," and the past tense is glaught.

Trunge

Trunge: verb. To trudge to the sound of grunge or to trudge thinking in a way typical of the grunge style. This includes trudging to angsty thoughts, trudging alienated thoughts, and even trudging to apathetic ones.

Glumber

Glumber: noun. A glumber is a type of sleep (and to glumber is to practice that type of sleep), but what exactly this sleep is like is a mystery, as experts have not been able to reach a consensus over the origins of the word. Some, particularly the optimist school of linguistics, hold that the glumber is a glad slumber, while others, particularly the pessimists, maintain that the glumber is a glum slumber. Realists, quite characteristically, believe the glumber to be a glib slumber, a belief which proves beyond all doubt that all realists are really disguised and disgusting, self-congratulating pessimists. It is interesting to note that the Absurdist school of linguistics believes the glumber to derive from gluey gliding slumber and pistachios. How they concluded that is yet to be found out.

Jale

Jale: noun. In its new initiative to become increasingly self-sufficient, Yale University announced the launching of the jale project, a way of incarcerating all of its misbehaving students, professors, and employees. The jale, as indicated by some hazy declaration made by some sort of shady, alumni-led, and omnipotent management board, is going to be an integral part to hushing up scandals, by way of utilising a highly corrupt justice system and ways of circumventing it. While the board officially maintains that the jale will have a higher admissions rate than the university, and will thus be a viable endeavour, several experts on university and incarceration policy have concluded that given previous experience at institutions of higher learning, the jale will, for the most part, remain unoccupied, and will serve more as a never-to-be-used deterrent, just like grades below Cs do at Ivy League colleges. 

Spick

Spick: verb. To verbally choose something. A person who spicks is called a spicker and the thing chosen is called a spickee. The word is especially useful when trying to sort out a quarrel over the rules of dibs. Spicking something takes precedence in the rules of dibs over merely hinting or indicating at picking and mentally picking. It is second only to actually appropriating the object in question.  

Spitful

Spitful: adjective: Full of spit, and potentially a little malicious. The most spitful things on the planet are llamas and little children, though the latter are first by far. Llamas, for their part, harbour a lot of spit, and often quite a lot of antipathy towards humans. Little children, somewhat more concerningly, not only harbour a lot of spit - which they are very willing to use, by the way - but they are also the seed and the embodiment of the Antichrist.  If you see a little child on the street, run. Better yet, get a plane ticket, fly to Antarctica, and spend the rest of your life researching penguins, compensating for the lack of social interaction by trying to imitate penguin sounds and failing miserably at it, proving to be a failure both in human terms, and in penguin ones.

Multiple-minded

Multiple-minded: adjective. The word multiple-minded, increasingly written in its unhyphenated* form, multipleminded, is defined as having and concentrating on multiple aims or goals. Multiple-minded people are often told by Capitalist society that they cannot succeed in their endeavours, and by and large, they internalise this attitude, which is really quite tragic. Excuse the writers of the blog right now, while they go lament their sad fate over copious amounts of alcohol.

* Speaking of unhyphenated words, it is an interesting and sad reflection of the arbitrary and unfair nature of life that the word unhyphenated itself is often written in its hyphenated form: un-hyphenated.

Distriboot

Distriboot: verb. The word distriboot has two very different meanings. Please, please, please make sure you know which meaning is being employed before consenting to buying/selling/doing anything.
1. To distribute boots, shoes, or other footwear.
2. To distribute bootings, i.e. to kick around oneself.
I hope it is sufficiently clear now why one should be most aware of what sort of distribootion one signs oneself up for. As a side note, keep in mind that distribootion denotes not only the act of distribooting (whether with the first or the second meaning), but also the act of distributing "boos" or other signs of disapprobation.