Flatflatmate

Flatflatmate: noun. A person who shares an apartment with others and also happens to be two-dimensional. Flatflatmates are becoming increasingly rare in modern times, probably due to the access to instant gratification and feedback provided by social media, leading to a decrease in two-dimensional characters.

Clerkinwell

Clerkinwell: phrase, slang. This piece of late 19th century slang is fairly easy to explain. Many clerks, whether it be law or store, could be found in Victorian England and to many of these, their profession was so key to defining their identity, that when asked how their day had been, they would customarily reply: "Clerkinwell!" 

Hacknee

Hacknee: noun. A knee with pain that has been caused by overuse. Hacknees are most common amongst footballers, bouncers, seamstresses and anyone who has visited the Burj Dubai when the elevators weren't working. The malady was first identified by famed physician Elizabeth Blackwell, and attesting to the greatness of her life, this discovery was one of the least impressive feats of her career.

Shoreditch

Shoreditch: verb. 
1. To pretend that coastlines don't exist and neither do seas or oceans. Some people believe that this is a diagnosable mental disorder, but this has never been confirmed. An example of the use of this word in such a sense is: "'What happened to our inflatable walrus?' 'I shoreditched it away.'"
2. To throw people who are too confident with themselves into a kind of trough or canal, so as to teach them a lesson about ego-centricism and the concept of humility. This technique has uncertain success results.

Campden

Campden: noun. That one tent in the campsite, which seems to be emanating an incredible amount of smoke without having a fireplace and all the cool kids seem to congregate around. Camp dens are usually either miles away from all the other tents or right in the centre of the entire campsite, where everyone can hear and smell everything. It is also common practice for campdens not to be secured properly with tent pegs, so there is a high chance that the tent or part of the tent will fly away some time in the next few nights.

Lactopi

Lactopi: noun. Octopi made up of lactose. Interestingly, lactopi are only ever found in pairs or groups, so the singular version of the word, 'lactopus', doesn't exist. Lactopi are extremely timid creatures and observing one requires incredible patience and endurance. Keen sighters and researchers must spend days in the dairy fields or the milk seas in hopes of perhaps spotting some, but it is never guaranteed and there are those who go through their entire lives without seeing one, or even being aware of their existence.

Sandwichify

Sandwichify: verb. To make a food safe to eat with your hands without getting them dirty, allowing you to gamble while eating. For example the creation of a burrito is the sandwichification of meat or beans, by wrapping it in a tortilla. This process was first created by the Maya, who decided to wrap their chocolate bars in palm fronds, so as to not get their hands dirty while playing an early variant of blackjack. The concept was later independently invented in at least 23 different locations and cultures.

Anguilt

Anguilt: noun. Anguish caused by a resounding sense of guilt. Also an excellent politician-repellent. There are certain active ingredients in anguilt, which politicians find unbearable and in fact, most are unable to even stand within 15 metres of anything displaying anguilt, due to the potential danger of them being infected with anguilt, which would most likely lead to their implosion.

Pintlegudgeon

Pintlegudgeon: verb. There are two meanings to this word:

1. To flip-flop on an issue. Unsurprisingly this word was created by bored political satirists, who needed a particularly long-word to fill the speech bubble on a caricature of Warren G. Harding.
2. To give things names that immediately reveal which part is meant to resemble the male genitalia and which the female.

Garland

Garland: verb. To be garlanded means to be prevented entry into a club, institution, organisation, group, entity or some such without just cause, simply for the sake of being petty. Garlanding also often occurs while one branch of government limits the power and effectivity of another branch of government, something that is technically illegal I suppose, but who cares really, am I right or am I right? Besides in the last year of a presidency the president is technically already on leave, no?

Pushulate

Pushulate: verb. Die out or go into hiding, so as to become extremely rare or scarce. This word was created by Noah Webster as an antonym for pullulate, when he was composing the second version of his dictionary and was horrified to discover, that some moron had come up with pullulate, but hadn't made the obvious logical step to pushulate. Webster was so dumbfounded he requested an executive order from President Monroe to immediately make the word a mandatory part of elementary school curriculum. Although the order was immediately overturned by president Adams, it was still the most consequential part of Monroe's presidency.

Pullchritudinous

Pullchritudinous: adjective. As everyone knows, pulchritudinous describes someone of great physical beauty, and consecutively, pullchritudinous describes someone of such beauty than an admirer cannot help but be drawn physically towards the person, until they are caught in their orbit of attraction. Pullchritude is different from charisma; this is more of a basal, primitive reaction that cannot be suppressed. Only a few individuals in history have been describe-able, as pullchritudinous, and such individuals have had to sequester themselves from society, so as not to cause general public unrest.

Sucinct

Sucinct: adjective. The succinct form of the word succinct. Sucinct is yet another word from the labs of the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language, in their effort to eliminate unnecessary vowels and consonants and generally make life easier for every English speaker. According to some very reliable statistics from the Southeastern Middle Michigan University, sucinct has already overtaken succinct in usage on Twitter, Friendster and Grindr.