Cannonical

Cannonical: adjective. Something inside a cannon. That’s it. That’s all we got. Look, will you appreciate the pun at face value or do you want a lengthy explanation of it? I honestly don’t know what people expect. Look, it’s funny, ok? Just supply the rest with your imagination. Think of all the ways you can misuse the word. No? Ok. God is this a thankless job. 

Gourdmet

Gourdmet: noun. A connoisseur of good gourds. Contrary to popular belief, gourdmets do not evaluate just the culinary qualities of gourds. While most gourdmets do specialise in this area, there are numerous gourdmets who evaluate gourds in relation to their other uses, for example qua jewellery, kitchen utensils, and musical instruments. Professional gourdmets in these areas can gage the qualities of a gourd by touching it, poking it, sometimes even by tasting it, though forms of contactless gourd-evaluation, such as smelling and sonography, are preferred.

Selbstie

Selbstie: noun. The word selbstie was developed by the Organisation gegen die Anglifizierung der deutschen Sprache (OGDADDS), also known by its English name and acronym: Organisation against the Anglification of the German Language (OATAOTGL). Meant as a purely German substitute for the English word ‘selfie,’ the word selbstie soon came under ridicule among Husserlian phenomenologists, who drew parallels between the word selbstie and Husserl’s exclamation “zur Sache selbst!”, a frustrated attempt to transcend the limitations of the subject and behold the object in and of itself. For Husserlians, a selbstie is an oxymoron, as a picture is about as far away from “die Sache selbst” as can be. For the same reason, the humiliated OGDADDS rejected a subsequent proposal to call selfies dingies, as a similarly vituperative Kantian response on account of the “Ding an sich” was expected. 

Unistance

Unistance: noun. A way of measuring the one-dimensional equivalent of distance. Some have argued that the very concept of unistance is pointless and, understanding no mathematics at all, the authors of this blog have to agree with this quite candid assessment.