Abridgetization

Abridgetization: noun. The process of abridging a play to make it of a length that doesn't lead to arrhythmia in half of the audience. A study conducted within the Vienna Opera House during a performance of Mozart's 'The Magic Flute' showed that 89% of the audience above the age of 55, which was 85% of the entire audience, suffered severe haemorrhaging in the brain, as their cerebral activity decreased drastically due to limited activity.