Snuffin

Snuffin: noun. The word snuffin comes from the suburbs of New York, where it refers to the shady product that is known to the FBI as APOSFWPLD "a pastry or sweetie filled with powder-like drugs." Snuffins are especially popular among rehabilitated addicts, who are initially pleasantly surprised that they can get a kick out of a simple muffin, only to realise later that they are in need of even more rehabilitation.

Snecret

Snecret: noun. An extraordinarily sneaky secret. Generally this identifies a secret, which is hidden in a particularly sneaky way, although it may also refer to a secret, which is about something sneaky. The largest amount of snecrets was apparently held by a Mr Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr, who among other things held the most private of snecrets of the former U.S. President John F. Kennedy. Along with the espionage information and information gained through his historical research, Schlesinger had successfully collected enough information to destroy 53 separate governments at the peak of his career.

Babbler

Babbler: noun. One who babbles chronically and continually throughout one's life without ever stumbling upon a single grain of truth. In fact, a babbler never fully understands the material of his babbles or anything in the world itself. Typically, babblers appear in many plays and books, but sometimes, the people we would call babblers in real life are not babblers in some literature. The Importance of Being Earnest, for example, is a play that would seem replete with babblers, but actually, the insipid and absurd conversations become the reality of the world in the play, converting what would seem as babblers into normal human beings and normal human beings into particularly reclusive personalities.

Elliteration

Elliteration: noun. The process of adding letters to a word, which aren't necessarily required in the word, but add a sense of sophistication and aloofness. The French are particular experts at this, having multiple occasions of elliteration in a single word, going so far as to found the International Institute for the Management of the Implementation of Elliteration (IIMIE) in Nice. One must be very careful with elliteration, because if it isn't done with skill, it will not appear as sophisticated but rather obnoxious.

Flyrick

Flyrick: verb. To flyrick means to be constantly mishearing lyrics of different songs, lending them very strange meanings. One of the most famous mishearings comes from a well known musical, incidentally called Sound of Music. After the first airing of the soon-to-be popular film starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer, many people, especially those living in retirement homes, rung up to ask Oscar Hammerstein if he was being serious in writing a song about singing bees, biking dogs and "wild beasts that fly with the moon on their wings." Evidently these people had never experienced the elated fantasies that are mentioned in another frequently flyricked song, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, where according to some, "A girl with colitis goes by." However, this phenomenon was brought to the highest possible level when several people with hearing disorders got together to write a transcript of an old CD recording of Carmina Burana´s poem "O Fortuna," devising intricate rhymes like "Suck juice from moose, fun handsome goose" and so on...

Bunburytopia

Bunburytopia: noun. Bunburytopia is, at least according to Oscar Wilde, the absolutely ideal state of society in which everyone has their own private Bunbury who acts as an excuse to skipping dull meetings and reunions when it is most needed. In addition, no one in this ideal society denies being a Bunburyist and their adherence to this movement is not conditioned by their acceptance of this label. A note for more cautious readers: this ideal state of society can only be called a utopia; anyone who calls it a dystopia is a pretentious liar.

Smoaking

Smoaking: noun. To smoak is to immerse oneself entirely in a visible vapour. This can be done in several ways, but is uncommon because it is unhealthy and not addictive. Ways to smoak often include standing on a raised platform above burning materials, far enough away to avoid getting burned, but set in such a way to get as much smoke as possible covering the person. This is mostly done to try out the experience or to prove something but then people quickly stop after suffering from effects of inhaling smoke, wasting their time, or even burns if they don’t not take into account the fact that heat tends to rise. The origin of this practice is unclear because no long lasting smoaking structures can be found; experts suggest that ancient civilizations soon realized that the practice was useless and decided to use the materials of their structures for some other purpose, however some people do believe that in battles with other tribes the winner would take the smoaking structures for his own tribe and to this day they are hidden somewhere underground to keep them safe…

Undermineable

Undermineable: adjective. Something or someone that has the capacity to be undermined by another thing or person. To specify, something undermineable does not necessarily have to cause its own undermineableness; it suffices to say that it is undermineable and that is that. Regardless of who caused this undermineableness, the thing is undermineable and what is undermineable is undermineable no matter who caused it to be so.

Provex

Provex: adjective. The opposite of “convex”. This word was invented in 1973 when a student was trying to complete his homework but forgot the word “concave”, unable to remember it he decided to use the word “provex” (incidents where people use the word “provex” because they can’t think of “concave”  have been done by people who didn’t even know of this word’s previous existence so it can be assumed that the event took place before then, but as that student presented the first recorded case of it happening (this may have happened before but it’s difficult to tell because the word may have just been a part of their language), but this was the first recorded case and therefore is the case that is credited for the word). Other than just replacing a word on cannot remember; this word is also used to add variety in the vocabulary of one’s writing, especially if they happen to be writing a story about concave caves with walls that bend inward and there are many indented features on depressions in the ground.

Underminatory

Underminatory: adjective. Something or someone capable of undermining the position of another thing or person. The word can be used both in the literal and metaphorical sense, which is well contrasted in the following sentence: "The mine was underminatory to the position of the count's new castle; a fortress that was underminatory to the king." Something underminatory must not always be used to truly undermine one's position; the word denotes the status itself of having the ability to undermine. The word originates from a translation of Greek legends by a famous English author (whose name is unknown), its first appearance being used in reference to a minotaur in the underground tunnels of a certain island fortress.  

Skout

Skout: noun. An internal membrane found in few animals. These can be naturally occurring or obtained after a surgical procedure, in either case animals tend not to survive long. An animal with this organ resembles other members of its species if they were turned inside-out. There is a lot of debate on the purpose such an organ would serve, while many say that this is the result of the animal going horribly wrong; some say that it forms with the specific purpose to keep many of the other organs away from the centre and that more research should be done to find why this is. Most governments slow this kind of research down with laws against turning animals inside out to study the results; claiming that it is animal cruelty, and it seems that this is unlikely to change anytime soon.

Alganise

Alganise: verb. To cover something with algae, lending it a strangely thick green colour. The word alganise itself is usually used in the passive voice; one won´t often hear about algae alganising an obect, but rather of an object being alganised. The word was first used in relation to sloths who are alganised within a few weeks after birth, but the term soon spread to encompass not only these lazy mammals; after sloths, the most commonly associated "victims" of alganisation are ponds and lakes which are often covered by a thick layer of algae resulting in the well known process called eutrophication.

Dirk

Dirk: noun. Yet another word describing facial expressions in dogs, a dirk is a condescending smile (also known as smirk) common to these cunning canines. Dogs dirk on many occasions, for example when their master throws them a stick and they can´t be bothered to lift it for him, leaving the person to go and collect it himself, while the dogs sit and watch feeling very amused. As with diles, dirks have been observed in many other organisms, including divers, dressers, Davids, deinonychuses, deinosuchuses and duck-men.   

Viscidous

Viscidous: adjective. Extremely sticky and adhesive. Something can only be described as viscidous if it has reached an unbelievable 7.34 on the Kohler scale. There are certain plants which grow in Jamaica, the extracts of which have according to some tests achieved as score of 7.35. However because of the unreliability of the tests, the extracts from the plants have been labelled as semiviscidous. Otherwise there have been some laboratory-prepared adhesives, which can be labelled viscidous with absolute certainty, but these adhesives have never been used on anything due to the permanentness of such an action.

Dile

Dile: noun. A dile is a facial expression common to dogs that appears to be equivalent to smiling in humans, but includes characteristics humans usually lack. For example, when diling, a dog usually sticks its tongue out, pants and even wags its tail, while humans don´t do any (or at least most) of these when smiling. Also, a diling dog is the same thing as a laughing dog, as dogs make very little sounds (if any) when they are somehow amused. The most famous example of a constantly diling dog is the popular internet meme called doge, though many find its smile a bit too creepy to be called a real dile. For future reference, although diling is most commonly associated with dogs, it is also frequently observed in dolphins and to a respectively lesser degree in ducks, drivers, dancers, diggers, dragons, doctors, dinosaurs and diprotodons.

Hummbug

Hummbug: noun. A rare species of insect which can only be identified by its distinct humming mating call. Hummbugs are excellent at camouflage and so, they have only ever been discovered thanks to their mating calls. The problem is that, after complex scientific research, it has been determined that hummbugs only mate once every 24 years. This is why there are only 4 specimens of the insect in museums worldwide. Three of these are in the Chicago Field Museum and one is in the Entomological Museum of Vilnius.

Hydranted

Hydranted: adjective. As opposed to something hydrated (that which is well supplied with water), something that is hydranted could mean any of the following things:
1. Something well supplied with fire hydrants (usually applies to buildings).
2. Something that has been properly treated to prevent or combat combustion (usually applies to fires and things on fire).
3. A person or animal clubbed to death with a fire hydrant (as opposed to objects, which can only be clubbed to destruction with one). 

Unintelligibalise

Unintelligibalise: verb. To make not discernible or not understandable. This process is actually simpler than it may at first appear. It can be something as simple as tearing up a piece of paper into many tiny pieces of paper, or using white-out on a piece of text. However there are much more complex variations of unintelligibalising, such as adding an unbreakable double encryption system or simply a bomb. There are experts at various companies, who specialize in unintelligibalising, especially at companies like BP, where this is necessary for various documents, such as their health and safety protocol. 

Synonymicality

Synonymicality: noun. Synonymicality is the pathological compulsion of people to repeat words with the same meaning after each other, making their texts and orations clogged up, hard to understand, unintelligible and incomprehensible. While the reasons for doing this are hypothesised and predicted to stem, arise and originate from an urge and desire to ostentatiously show off one´s superior and clearly excptional vocabulary, no one is quite sure or certain how one should treat, cure and fix this phenomenon.

Homophonusion

Homophonusion: noun. Homophonusion is a quite typical and widespread phenomenon that manifests itself in one´s ability to spell properly. Simply put, homophonusion is the accidental substitution of a homophone for its alike sounding counterpart in a text; an example being "They´re bare seas my add four ail." Now literally, this example could be deciphered to mean something like "They are basic seas when they are troubled by adding four of me." However, the intended meaning would be: "Their bear sees my ad for ale;" in other words: "The animal of the family ursidae belonging to them is visually perceiving my advertisement for beer brewed from malted barley." In spoken interaction, homophonusion is quite difficult to distinguish. In fact, some linguists are of the opinion that spoken homophonusion does not exist. These scientists are in the minority though, and so going with the majority, we can say that our ability to distinguish homophonusion is not evolved enough yet, but one day, it will be at a stage when we can recognise it with relative ease. 

Antianticipation

Antianticipation: noun. The opposite of anticipation, when one does not look forward to something, but instead dreads it and does not want to face that which approaches. Antianticipation always comes with something inevitable and so is quite a redundant feeling as one would feel much better if he accepted his fate and moved on with his life. Antianticipation is often described as "the impending sense of doom" and is a popular literary device in thrillers and horrors, first employed by Edgar Allan Poe.

Buttonise

Buttonise: verb. This word has two very specific meanings which are both used commonly and frequently. The two meanings are as follow:
1. To press a button all the way down. This is very specific, because one can only buttonise if the button is completely pressed down, it doesn't apply if it's half or partially pressed down.
2. To turn someone or something into a button. This is often a very complicated and expensive, yet popular process. It involves the machine known as the buttoniser which generally needs to be powered by 3 nuclear power plants and 4 separate rabbits with pumpkins.

Mint

Mint: verb. As opposed to referencing the commonly used meaning of the verb mint, today's post is about the less frequent version, which is (according to professional linguists) extinct in the wild and kept alive only in the fat books sitting somewhere in the compartment of the Oxford English Dictionary dedicated to dead words (there is some controversy, however, regarding labeling these words as dead. Some philosophers have argued that words kept alive only in old dictionaries are not really dead but on life support, since they may come back to life at any time. Others maintain that these words are actually brain-dead and if they ever start being used again, they are no more than philosophical zombies). Therefore, to the meaning of the word: to mint, in a gardening context, is the same thing as to weed (only with mint of course), the word functioning both as a noun and as a verb. Since mint is a very invasive plant, this expression used to be quite common. So common, in fact, that mint started to be regarded as a normal weed and people started to refer to minting simply as weeding. 

Hambourgeoisie

Hambourgeoisie: noun. Commonly, hambourgeoisie is a word used to refer to the middle class of Hamburg, Germany, but in the recent years, it has become more closely associated with moderately profitable hamburger salesmen and saleswomen. These profit more than the hamburgher-serfs, also being the only industry in the USA using slerfs. In the Fast-Food-Marxist theory, however, the hambourgeoisie belong to the class preventing the hot dog proletariat from liberation and nutritionally classless utopia.  

Choeer

Choeer: noun. A rather odd musical ensemble of singers. These are extremely popular to perform at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as meetings of the Dull Men Society. They perform a large variety of songs, anything from church rock to hard jazz. It's important to ensure before the performance of a choeer, that all potentially breakable things are securely attached or removed from reach, as choeers have a collateral damage range of over 3 kilometres.

Chicketting

Chicketting: noun. Chicketting is incessant bickering coming from an annoying chicken with the sole purpose of exasperating, infuriating and irritating the (usually human) target. Though chicketting is most commonly associated with the game clumsy ninja, it can also be applied to other games like moorhuhn and duck life, though the latter is an obvious misnomer (obvious to the extent that one wonders how it ever even came to be). A male equivalent of chicketting is, of course, roostering and the juvenile equivalent is chicking or, in the early stages of life, egging.

Entitlety

Entitlety: noun. A title that exists all by itself without any context or explanation of its meaning. Entitleties are used in libraries as well as publishing houses, generally in their organisation systems and book indexes. Entitleties were first used by the great Cambridge University Press in 1612, when their collection of 27 books became too much to manage without using an index.

Doncaster

Doncaster: noun. A person who throws Spanish nobility or the leaders of Italian mafia a great distance. Being a doncaster was an especially popular profession in two places: Valencia and Chicago. However being a doncaster was also a very risky job, as there were great risks that accompanied the job. One could be lynched, burnt, shot, ,drowned, strangled, mutilated, tortured, exhumed and tortured again, disowned, excommunicated and various other things. The only reason people became doncasters despite the risks, was the pay and the prospects of the don's wife/daughter/loose ladies.

Elevatoration

Elevatoration: noun. The range an elevator can travel, usually counted in floors. The International Commission on Elevators has found that the average elevatoration for most countries is 7 floors. The only outlier is the United Arab Emirates, which has an average elevatoration of 54 floors. Elevatoration is a valuable statistic to be known for elevator manufacturers as well as the occupants of the building the elevator is situated in. It allows people to know all the floors they can access from the elevator, and if the building they occupy possesses any secret floors.

Targerine

Targerine: noun. A spread made of tangerines, refined plant oils, fats, water and occasionally milk. Though not typically seen in kitchens around Europe and America, targerine is highly popular in Sichuan, where it used to be eaten as a part of Christmas dinner until this practice was stopped by the Cultural Revolution and replaced with the consumption of synthetic polyester.  

Orckid

Orckid: noun. There are several possible meanings of the word orckid, all of which are listed below in order of most common to least.
1. The child of an orc and orcess (the female variant also known as an orcette or orcy).
2. The baby goat of an orc, usually released into the wild by insane orc activists, which is the reason why the goat population in orc-inhabited areas is decreasing at a faster rate than black and white TV sales.
3. A practical joke played by an orc.
4. An alternative (and phonetically logical) way of writing "orchid."