Scovillity

Scovillity: noun. The measure of the spiciness of spicy foods, based on the Scoville scale. The Scoville scale was devised in 1912 as a scale of pungency of spicy foods and has since been often used by manufacturers of spicy sauces to promote their product. It was Wilbur Scoville himself who coined the word scovillity. He did so in an attempt to popularise his scale and to increase his own ego. The conversation during which the word was first used went something like this:
"Wow, this is a rather spicy chilli pepper."
"Do you know its scovillity?"
"Its what?"
"Oh, you know, scovillity. It's this useful technique I created..."
You can imagine how it went from there...

Fragment V

“So to what do we owe the pleasure of having you as our guests?” inquired Elizabeth.

“Ah, you see I have been sent by the honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh to cut down the mightiest tree in Derbyshire with a herring. A task I plan to achieve tomorrow, so that we may return to Lady Catherine as soon as possible.” answered Mr. Collins.

The unpleasant odour was still very much presalent around Mr. Collins, hence he was encouraged by the others in the room, to begin his task now, as they believed it may take him longer than he anticipates.

Elizabeth was baffled, “Charlotte dear, how can you possibly bear this atrocious caricature of a man as a husband? He must be so exasperating.”

“Oh, one gets used to him. On the positive side, he is so engrossed with Lady Catherine and his own ego that absolutely everything goes past him, it’s no difficulty for me to keep my own agenda or plans. Sometimes I wonder if he still remembers that I live in the same house as him.” replied Charlotte. “And how have things been here at Pemberley, Elizabeth has only livened the place I trust Mr. Darcy?”

“Oh yes, most certainly. We couldn’t be happier and Georgiana couldn’t have asked for a better friend. However I have realised that we may have to leave you tomorrow morning, as we have a trip planned.” exclaimed Mr. Darcy.

“I absolutely forgot about that, how silly of me!” reprimanded herself Elizabeth, “I’m afraid Charlotte that a friend of Fitzwilliam’s has invited us on an adventure and we’ve been planning to leave for quite some time, it shall be impossible for us to cancel the trip now!”

“Oh that’s quite alright, I’m sure that we shall be on our way quite promptly. Whether we leave with a tree or without, that is yet to be seen.”

“In that case, I propose we summon Mr Collins back and send him to have a lovely fragrant bath, while we enjoy some supper and discuss all that has happened, since we’ve last seen each other.” issued Elizabeth and so they engaged themselves for the afternoon.