Glueb

Glueb: noun. The remnants of glue inside a glue-stick, once the glue has been exposed to air for too long and is no longer usable as glue. The material retains its adhesive capabilities, but it is no longer in a fine consistency inside being in a strange globular or congealed state. Various inventors have tried to create uses for glueb such as fuel or vaseline, but those have all so far ended in fire, explosions or painful rashes.

Enginering

Enginering: noun. The subset of engineering, which consists solely of the study and development of engines, whether they be steam, diesel, nuclear or hamster. Enginering was pioneered by Aurel Stodola, who didn't really believe in the validity of the other parts of engineering as being worthy of study or investigation.

Pearsimmon

Pearsimmon: noun. A hybrid fruit created by geneticists in 2011, which combined the impossibly annoying shell of persimmons with the awful taste of pears. They were subsequently declared the 'Genetical Failure of 2011' by the International Committee for Human Achievement and Failure, which is chaired by Richard Dawkins.

Carsea

Carsea: noun. The joint commuting of at least 15 people together in a bus. The only difference between a carpool and a carsea is in the number of people that are encompassed in the two different activities. Carseas are particularly popular in the more rural parts of India, where the bus may be the only form of transportation for the entire area and so the carsea may be a necessity for many of the people.

Cryptophony

Cryptophony: noun. The study of the conveying of secret or hidden messages in speech. The field was developed to help the already existing study of cryptography, which however only had meager attempts at actually analyzing speech. Individuals have excelled at making ambiguous phrases convey hidden messages. Cryptophony is based around the analysis of individual fragments of speech, which are referred to as 'trapped cryptophonemes'.

Irrigatation

Irrigatation: noun. Being annoyed about things to do with the artificial watering or land or soil. This is a problem farmers often suffer from, especially if some stupid, GOD-FORSAKEN rodent decides to chew through their pipes and hose so that all of his stupid, stupid plants withers before he has time to go and fix the ENTIRE IRRIGATION SYSTEM.

Poelemization

Poelemization: noun. Polemization about one or more poems. This is a term originating in the 17th century, when the discussion of poetry in literary circles became particularly popular and the term emerged to refer to the monologue delivered by a single person at the beginning of such meetings, which would set the tone and topic for the discussion. Later poets and authors would try to prevent poelemizations by creating seemingly banal poetry, such as 'Sacred Emily' by Gertrude Stein.

Prerequiment

Prerequiment: noun. A requirement or criterion for a presentation. This word is an amalgam of two other words, that has become increasingly popular in recent times, especially in the business world, where a growing need for efficiency has condensed various phrases into single words, with prerequiments being only one example of the multitude of new vocabulary.

Battlemint

Battlemint: noun. A sugary-sweet pill that was taken by knights in the middle ages to calm their nerves and aid them before an upcoming battle. It was believed that the mints had mystical and magical properties, and thus would provide them with the strength necessary to overcome their enemy in battle. In reality, battlemints were one of the most successful and prosperous market ventures that made their creator a John of Reading one of the richest men in the world at the time. In fact it is thought that accounting for inflation and currency development, his wealth at the height of his power would be equivalent to the total GDP of Belgium for 2015.

Stape

Stape: noun. A staple which is coated in a thin film of adhesive, which also makes it sticky. This office supply was developed in the 1950's in the US by Herbert Williams of Reno, Nevada and became an instant success. It was only later discovered that the adhesive Williams was using emitted a surprising amount of beta particles, despite not containing any radioactive substance and to this day remains one of the greatest scientific office-related mysteries.

Horcruxcrux

Horcruxcrux: noun. The important part of a horcrux, which actually contains the part of someone's soul/living essence. Taking a real-world example, when Voldemort used the locket that formerly belonged to Salazar Slytherin, it was only the inside of the locket that contained the actual horcrux, and thus the inside of the locket was the horcruxcrux.

Intravel

Intravel: noun. An interval within an interval. For example, recording the volume of a scream at 1 minute intervals within 10 minute intervals. Intravels are used by scientists especially when measuring complex variables, such as human emotions, bad news and the amount of plastic cups in a plastic cup dispenser. It is thought that Newton was particularly opposed to intravels, as he saw them as unscientific and far too confusing to be worth the hassle.

Intergument

Intergument: noun. In biology, the internal covering of an organ. In Ancient Egypt the intergument of a pig's liver was used to create the equivalent to modern day candy wrappers, which were used to contain particularly savory pieces of honeycomb. This is known from the surprisingly intricate depictions of these in hieroglyphics, and some have theorized that these depictions are the earliest known examples of advertising, which would explain the level of detail and amount of these hieroglyphics.

Beight

Beight: noun. An alternate measurement of a dimension of an object. It was developed by John Dalton as a measurement for the relationship between the radius and the Gaussian Curvature of a sphere. It is now commonly used in topology to confuse puny non-topological mortals, who do not understand the beautiful complexities and intricacies of topology.

Porlific

Porlific: adjective. Describing something which contains multitudes of minute openings in its surface or integument. The term is used mostly by biologists to describe for example various types of fungi and coral. The term has been in recent years expanded to the noun porlifity, which is now an important category in fungus classification.

Imbellishment

Imbellishment: noun. The process of making a bell more durable and sonorous, a process very common in the bell-making industry. The process was actually created by Alexander Graham Bell in a rather hilarious example of nominative determinism. This was after his brilliant invention of the telephone, in what is commonly referred to as his 'Lost Period', when overcome by the success of the telephone, he was unsure how to further himself as a person.

Stelth

Stelth: noun. The careful and inconspicuous removal of a single vowel from a word in someone's document in a word processor. This is a technique often employed by someone's rival in an attempt to discredit or ridicule them in the eyes of someone else. Studies have been conducted to measure the success of stelth in this intended aim, but the results have as of yet been inconclsive.

Alionce

Alionce: noun. A trope often used in science fiction writing is the alliance between an invading alien force and lions, who as the kings of the animals, have dominion over the fauna of Earth. Thus they are able to defeat even the humans. A major part of this trope is the important role of the insects in the defeat of the humans, where they are led into battle by the Prince of Locust. It has been theorised that thanks to the great strength of the insects, the aliens are not in fact necessary to defeat the humans and so the only reason humans are alive today is because the animals have not been given the proper incentive.

Helsinker

Helsinker: noun. This term originates from the now largely forgotten myth/legend of when the god Poseidon entered the realm of Hades in retaliation for losing one of his mortal daughters to Hades' underworld realm. Poseidon used the deadly waters of river Styx to flood Hades' realm, showing clearly that he was the more powerful brother. He then left with his no longer mortal daughter and Hades and Persephone spent the next few centuries with a mop and a bucket.

Dowageress

Dowageress: noun. A woman who has married a dowager, thereby gaining her titles and responsibilities through marriage, and thus entirely legally. A dowageress has yet to exist and is currently only hypothetical in nature, mainly due to the restrictions on same-sex marriage in many countries. This is however due to change quite soon and thus a dowageress is no longer a ludicrous idea, as it may have been viewed in the past.

Sallem

Sallem: noun. This is the unique mixture of herbs and spices developed by Cotton Mather and used to season the witches who were burned at the stake during the Salem Witch Trials. The minister did not encourage cannibalism, but believed that using his unique blend of seasoning the evil witch spirit could be prevented from turning another poor, helpless, innocent and servile woman from also becoming rebellious, independent and free-thinking.

Neroic

Neroic: adjective. A word to describe a suicide, which is preceded by the killing of over a thousand people and includes quoting from a over-quoted work of literature and then proceeding to end a dynasty by the suicide, instilling chaos and panic in the country. An obvious example of a neroic death is the suicide of William Smith who killed himself after having started the Great Fire of London, quoting from Hamlet and then by killing himself ending a long dynasty of Sewer Kings, who had maintained peace in the London canals for centuries.

Beingmas

Beingmas: noun. The festival proposed by Maximilien Robespierre to replace Christmas in Revolutionary France after having removed all other religions and replacing them with the Cult of the Supreme Being, which was obviously better than the Cult of Reason. Beingmas was meant to include such highlights as bread with powdered sugar and water with a slight touch of gooseberry. The idea became an instant hit with the people of Revolutionary France.

Crusaddle

Crusaddle: noun. The specially designed saddles intended for the heroes of the First Crusade, which were specially commissioned by Pope Urban II and meant as a reward. The saddle were decorated by half of all the jewels available to the Vatican at the time. Later realising its mistake the Church bought or demanded most of the saddles back in later years, so that now there are only 3 examples in the world, that do not belong to the Catholic Church. The whereabouts of one of these remains unknown except to a select few, who have guarded it for centuries as the Order of the Bestudded Saddle.

Collapsming

Collapsming: noun. This word refers to the sudden and shocking collapse of the Chinese Ming Dynasty in the 17th century. It also refers to the often used TV trope in which a character accidentally knocks down a priceless Ming dynasty vase, causing embarrassment for himself and awkwardness for all, which is for some reason amusing to the viewers of the television programme.

Pickle

Pickle: verb. To have been defeated by any one of the 8 HMS Pickles. Since 1800 there has been a HMS Pickle serving in the royal navy, however all of them have been so famously small and quite pathetic that being defeated by one became a sign of a truly horrendous captain. Therefore the verb has been used most commonly in the phrase, "You've been pickled!" This is also ironic due to the way in which Admiral Nelson's body was transported to England after the Battle of Trafalgar, in which one of the HMS Pickles took part, but was too small to fight.

Roquefortfort

Roquefortfort: noun. A castle or bastion built entirely out of Roquefort cheese. These structures are most popular in the commune of La Roque-Sainte-Marguerite in an attempt to spite their neighbours of Roquefort-sur-Soulzon, who have a silly monopoly on that awful, awful cheese that nobody eats anyway, so why not use it for forts, huh?

Increedible

Increedible: adjective. The two meanings of this word are in fact completely unrelated:

1. This word was shouted after the Cree chieftain Big Bear fled the North-West Mounted Police in the last military engagement on Canadian soil. Really the word should be shouted at Canadians in modern times for their lack of military engagements.
2. Referring to a personal motto which is so ridiculous and ludicrous or blatantly disregarded that it appears impossible. Examples of this include claiming one's creed to be "I am loving and kind and welcoming of all" while committing genocide.

Funtire

Funtire: noun. 
1. Satire which is aimed to cause verbal or psychological harm to a person. One may think that quite illogical due to the composition of the word, but in fact the word in itself is an example of funtire and after experiencing the word in this way, one should feel some discomfort and drowsiness.
2. A tire which has somehow escaped the wheel it was previously attached to and is consequently roaming the streets free like a bird, ignoring any duties and requirements, living life to the fullest. Funtires are some of the most envied objects in certain US states.

Coulogual

Coulogual: adjective. Referring to something that occurred during the discussion between two zucchinis. According to legend before the arrival of fire, people would produce heat and warmth for protection by encouraging heated discourse between two courgettes, which would eventually become so heated that the zucchinis would quite literally produce heat and keep the people warm. Thus various possible topics of discussion became referred to as coulogual.