Hydrargumnal

Hydrargumnal: adjective. The word hydrargumnal has several definitions, all of which are also definitions for the word ‘mercurial.’ There is no factual difference between the word hydrargumnal and the word ‘mercurial’ besides the fact that hydrargumnal is preferred by scientists and other snotty purists.

1.      Unpredictable and capricious, quick to change one’s mind.

2.      Containing mercury.

3.      Behaving like mercury.

Perhaps the only difference between the word hydrargumnal and the word ‘mercurial’ is that the word hydrargumnal can never be used to refer to the planet or god Mercury. 

Bitheist

Bitheist: noun. Someone who believes in two gods, no more, no fewer. Two is the number of gods a bitheist worships, and the number of gods worshipped by a bitheist is two. Bitheism is often confused with Manicheanism and other dualist theologies, such as Zoroastrianism, but bitheism is different from these in two ways. Firstly, it is not a religion; it is a belief rather than a system of beliefs, a belief which is shared by and not exclusive to a number of religions. Secondly, it does not prescribe dualism: Bitheism is defined strictly by belief in two gods. Whether these gods represent antithetical values is a further article of faith.

Armitimate

Armitimate: adjective. The word armitimate is an antonym to the word ‘legitimate’ and a synonym to ‘illegitimate.’ To be armitimate is to be unauthorised by law or, less commonly, to be born out of wedlock. The second of these meanings was actually the original. In ancient times, the idiom was that while legitimate successors were ‘born of the leg,’ that is to say, ‘born from between the legs,’ illegitimate successors were ‘born of the arm,’ that is to say, they were brought into the family in the hands of another woman. Some classicist scholars trace the origins of the word ‘legitimate’ to the story of Dionysus, who was incubated in Zeus’ thigh, and was thus ‘legitimately divine.’ Similarly, Oedipus was recognised as the son of Jocasta and Laius by his swollen feet, making him ‘legitimately incestuous.’ The word armitimate, the theory goes, was simply conjectured by later Anglophone scholars.  

Dipthong

Dipthong: noun. A dipthong is the sound made by dipping into a pool or another body of water while wearing a thong. Dipthongs vary to an enormous degree depending on a number of factors ranging from the speed of the dipping to the material and size of the thong itself. Research has shown that heterosexual males find female dipthongs 26% less attractive than risethongs, the sound made by rising out of a pool or another body of water while wearing a thong. Nevertheless, the same study found that heterosexual males find female dipthongs 501% more attractive than male dipthongs (the statistic was the exact reverse for homosexual males) and 4004% more attractive than male diptongs, the sound made by a male dipping into a pool or another body of water while wearing nothing but tongs.      

Dimultaneous

Dimultaneous: adjective. Happening at two different moments. The word dimultaneous is useful in a number of situations, for example in arguments with creationists, viz. the following sentence: "Archaeological evidence conclusively proves that the Jurassic and Jesus' life were dimultaneous." Alternatively, one could also use the adverbial form: "Archaeological evidence conclusively proves that the Jurassic and the life of Jesus happened dimultaneously."