Testosteral

Testosteral: adjective. Describing something or someone, who is very masculine or full of testosterone, for example a woman undergoing a sex-change. In a recent survey conducted in hospitals and other medical facilities, it was discovered that testosteral was the third most popular word spoken, beaten only by "Help" and "Ow". Many men consider it a very manly word and so may often repeat it in completely unrelated scenarios and situations, seeing it as fitting simply because of its masculinity. Interestingly, there is no similar word relating to estrogen and the authors of this blog feel that it is very improper. Unfortunately, they can do nothing about it.

Victimator

Victimator: noun. Through the very arduous study of the Spanish-English dictionary by James Mabbe (a very important Spanish to English translator of the seventeenth century), it had been found that many words in Spanish do not have an English equivalent. One of these words, James Mabbe noted, was victimario, basically translating to "one who victimises others." The fact that this word appeared in a piece of very rhythmical Spanish poetry led Mabbe to create the word victimator, since "one who victimises others" was a bit too wordy for proper poetic translation. The result of Mabbe's research is the following excerpt: 

The dark of the room had been looming on me,
I drew to the fiery fiend,
It's tongue had been spitting and fuming on me,
The moment came when we convened.

And as I stepped close, the incinerator,
Which had been turned on by my wife,
Became my whole body's foul victimator,
I ended up losing my life.

Ludicrosity

Ludicrosity: noun. So, although one may think that ludicrosity is known as the measure of the ludicrousness of something or someone, this is completely ludicrous. In fact, the word is clearly a type of ancient game from Malta, invented by the Aztecs, where people stand in a cross and the last person still standing after a series of challenges is declared the loser. This then repeats until there is only one person who has successfully won all the games by not remaining standing. Depending on the determination and honesty of the players, a game of ludicrosity can take anywhere between 6 minutes and 2 months.

Undecaffeinated

Undecaffeinated: adjective. An object, most usually in liquid form, in which the process of decaffeinating has been reversed and caffeine has been added to something from which it was originally removed. Undecaffeination is particularly useful on April Fools' Day as a practical joke, since anyone who consumes undecaffeinated coffee thinking it is decaffeinated will find themselves under an increased amount of stress and will most probably end up running around wildly in a fit of hyperactivity. Because of the seeming impracticality of undecaffeination, many people simply choose to caffeinate, but experts will confirm that undecaffeination is far more sagacious.  

Plunt

Plunt: noun. Although one may at first thought think that this is something rather rude, a plunt is in fact one of the most innocent things imaginable. It is the name given to the look people have when they see something extraordinarily cute, for example bunnies of puppies. It is characterised by hazy eyes and a blank stare, as well as a slightly open mouth and shallow breathing. Many people accompany their plunt with a sound, which is commonly transcribed as: "Awwwww...". However it has been scientifically proven that this is incorrect, and it is in fact spelt as: "Aughhhhhhh...".

Rhymelessness

Rhymelessness: noun. The state of being absoluetly rhymeless, which relates not only to words, but also to people, notes and visual arts. For example, the word purple was (at least until the invention of the word shmurple) rhymeless, as there used to be no word that rhymed with it.  Many opera fans would add to this, saying that Luciano Pavarotti also demonstrated a sense of rhymelessness, because there will never be anyone like him. In a quite different way, one could say that certain notes are rhymeless; for example the brown note, as the only thing that would rhyme with it would be another brown note - the repeated use of which would make people rather angry. Moreover, in the art field, the repetition of certain elements (which is called visual rhyme) is sometimes aesthetically pleasing, however not with certain motifs like lemmings on spikes, rendering them absolutely rhymeless.

Shmurple

Shmurple: verb. To shmurple has a variety of negative connotations, as the action is most commonly associated with lurking, skulking, crouching, creeping, crawling and behaving shadily. However, the original meaning of the word is quite different; in the early nineteenth century, someone who shmurpled was one who was in a continuous state of excreting. The word was invented by William Blake whose frustration with the rhyme-less-ness of the word purple led him to invent a word that would rhyme with it. He used it in one of his poems, fittingly titled "The Secret Purple Thing."

There once was a man who had nasal congestion,
He also had problems with bad indigestion,
His poo had turned purple,
And he had to shmurple,
To see if it needed ingestion.

Complainment

Complainment: noun. The combination of a complain and a compliment. In essence, a complainment is a complaint given in the form of a compliment to a person. Very often this is very confusing, absurd, ironic, not-understandable, frustrating, infuriating and discriminatory. There are various reactions people can have to receiving a complainment; the most common types of reactions are: confusion, euphoria, uncontrollable laugher, weeping or extreme depression. Specifically for this reason, it is very dangerous to give complainments, and the authors of this blog sincerely discourage people from giving them.

Mariage

Mariage: noun. As opposed to a marriage, where two souls become united in holy matrimony, a Mariage is when a person, usually a female, accepts the name Mary or Maria either as a second name or instead of their first name. It is absolutely impossible to change one´s second name to Mary or Maria and call it a Mariage. Though not as frequent as marriages, mariages maintain popularity among many layers of society. Reasons for Marying include rise in religiousness, infatuation with Greek opera singers and detailed analysis of Jane Austen´s Pride and Prejudice.

Cucumbersome

Cucumbersome: adjective. Describing something which gets in the way by the usage of cucumbers or products which involve cucumbers. This word was created in the early 20th century after the great cucumber disaster of Baltimore. There are varying accounts of what actually happened, but the general idea is as follows. The city theatre was putting on a show which involved a large amount of cucumbers being present on stage, around 200 of them, however due to a grave typo and several mistakes in the director's office, the supply of cucumbers was ordered from every supplier in the country. This resulted in over 4,000,000 cucumbers being shipped to Baltimore and the surrounding area every week, with a general cucumber famine in the rest of the country. Eventually the situation was resolved thanks to the import of rabbits, which in hand lead to the great rabbit calamity of Washington DC. The whole event was described by many as cucumbersome. 

Alpacatalpa

Alpacatalpa: noun. Alpacatalpa is a term used to describe a very unlikely (but possible) situation that eventually happens in a series of unexpected events. The word itself came from the conjunction of the words "alpaca" and "catalpa" gaining the meaning of "alpaca in a catalpa." While botanist-zoologists would immediately understand the paradox of this situation, it is necessary to explain to the rest of the readers that finding an alpaca in a catalpa tree is highly unlikely not only because both are found at quite different latitudes, but also because of an alpaca´s weight, which would restrict its ability to climb trees and the ability of other people to push it up there. However, no one disagrees with the fact that an alpaca may eventually end up in a catalpa, which was proved in 1982 when a group of astronauts spotted an alpaca in a catalpa orbiting one of Saturn´s moons. It has since been deduced that both had appeared there as a result of the random movement of particles, but at the time, the USSR was suspected of rather questionable and possibly even reprehensible space colonisation techniques.   

Retorse

Retorse: noun. Condolences provided in the form of a response to something. Retorses are very much applicable and appropriate, when someone is speaking of a sad event, for example a funeral or death a beloved pet. Many times retorses are expected by the speaker, as a form of acknowledgment that the listener understands just how tragic the entire occurrence was. However one must be very careful that the expression of grief and sadness is genuine, for it is very offensive to provide a retorse when a retorse isn't appropriate or wanted, and uttering it at the incorrect time, can result in a permanent declaration of hatred.

Aggronaut

Aggronaut: noun. In a section that Homer later scratched from his Iliad, a group of aggronauts had a brief appearance, the particulars of which are related in the excerpt here written (no author´s rights are being violated here considering Homer has been dead for over two and a half millennia):

Αν μπορείτε να διαβάσετε ελληνικά, καλό για σας.
Αν έπρεπε να βάλω αυτό στο μεταφραστή, δεν έχετε ζωή.

Clearly, Homer was being very poetic when he wrote this and there is hardly anything left to be said about aggronauts after such a terrific and imaginative story. 

Satting

Satting: noun. Although regular readers of this blog might find the logicality of this word and its meaning slightly baffling, satting is truly related to the similarly spelt word: sitting. In fact, satting can only be done while sitting, as doing it while standing would probably be terminated by personnel ensuring proper satting. Now to the meaning of the word: satting is the act of sitting an SAT test, which is largely required by universities in the USA. Most American students wishing to go to university have to sat, which they do sitting. As previously mentioned, improper behaviour while satting is (usually) not tolerated and may result in the confiscation of one´s SAT test, therefore ending the action of satting, even though the person previously doing it may still be carrying on with the action that resulted in their punishment after it has been carried out.

Trired

Trired: adjective. Weary of moving from place to place. A common occurrence in people who travel frequently and great distances, it can be quite a hindrance, as it can limit the body's ability to function properly. However not everyone becomes trired and there is a significant number of people who can travel as much as they please without suffering in any way. Some people believe that one can only become trired from travelling on a bus, but it has been confirmed by scientists that the mode of transportation is completely and entirely irrelevant.

Studious

Studious: verb. To study, read or gain knowledge with a large amount of effort, will or determination. The origin of this word comes either from Kent, Surrey or Hertfordshire, but it is uncertain as to exactly where. It has been observed in the 19th, 20th and 21st century that pupils, students and probationers have been studiousing less and less, and rather have reverted to studying, listening or simply ignoring. It is important that schools, colleges and universities encourage their alumni, trainees, and novices to studious more rather than ignoring the importance of a quality education, learning, or apprenticeship.

Deppraisal

Deppraisal: noun. It is extremely difficult to describe or define deppraisal as even people who often deppraise aren't entirely sure what they are doing. The only things that are certain, is that it involves taxation, a lot of evaluation and some mashed potatoes. People who deppraise are known as deppraisers and are extremely rare in most regions of the world. The largest density of deppraisers is in Sierra Leone, with a density of 23.34 deppraisers per square kilometre. A famous example of a deppraiser was the engineer Gustave Eiffel, who was a deppraiser in secret, when he currently wasn't working on any project, although the authors of this blog are unaware of any major achievement he accomplished in his life.

Antiemoticon

Antiemoticon: noun. Unlike the common interpretation of the word, an antiemoticon is, in fact, not used to describe the movement for the ban of emoticons on the grounds of Taiwanese congress. Indeed an, antiemoticon is something far more complex - the exact opposite of an emoticon, working on the simple principle of stoicism. It is no secret that many people have trouble expressing their emotions which makes them afraid of using normal emoticons. This is why a group of several British researchers came up with antiemoticons conveying so little emotion that it is barely picked up by a regular reader. The team introduced several antiemoticons, but since all of them looked absolutely emotionless, they were all named "stoic emoticon" with a number attached on the end.

Just for your information and enrichment, an example of a stoic emoticon is this:
:-
and another example is this:
: |

Menelick

Menelick: verb. Menelicking, also called Menelickery when one wants to sound posh, has in fact nothing to do with licking anything or anyone. Indeed, Menelicking actually refers to doing something rather plain or simple - in other words, idiotic. The word comes from the old legend of King Menelik the first, son of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, who decided that it would be nice to have a small walk on Kilimanjaro in his father´s regalia. Sadly for him, he froze to death.

Brapse

Brapse: noun. The complete shut-down of the central processing unit of a human. A person can suffer a brapse when he is placed under great stress, or has over-worked himself. It is common for these conditions to last only a very short while, however while they are occurring, the sufferer is completely incapable of doing anything, even as simple as speaking or heaven-forbid thinking. Brapses were first identified by the brilliant physicist Niels Bohr, after he had had a particularly long session of working on a problem for 23 hours straight without stopping. Bohr however believed that with enough practice, one could train himself to no longer experience brapses. He did not live long enough for his hypothesis to be proven, dying at the young age of 77.

Helectionism

Helectionism: noun. Helectionism is an occurrence in linguistics that describes the ruleless translation of words from languages where "h" is replaced by "g" into languages which have both of these letters. For example, when the Russian river "Volga" is translated into Czech, the spelling changes to "Volha." However, when the Russian astronaut Gagarin is translated into Czech, his name remains the same, rather than changing to the obvious "Haharin."  This is a clear example of Helectionism, where a "g" is converted into an "h" only according to the whims of its translator, rather than following some clearly defined rules. Another example of such logic-lacking occurrence is when the word "glasnost" is not translated as "hlasnost," but as "publicita," which is obviously nothing but stupid.  

Thiraeth

Thiraeth: noun. A homesickness for a place which you have previously visited, but couldn't consider your home, due to the length of stay, people present or other unfavourable conditions. This is commonly observed in people who are unloved by their peers and relatives or people without relatives. Some psychologists believe that thiraeth can be associated with an enlargement of the hypothalamus or basal ganglia. The feeling is known to coincide with loneliness, languish, depression, nostalgia, grief and yearning. Thiraeth was first observed and described by Spaniard Miguel Cervantes in one of his many failed attempts at writing in English. Although none of the attempts have seen the light of day, the word has come into common usage.

Languini

Languini: noun. A type of pasta commonly eaten in the North-southern part of Italy and known for its very lazy characteristics and lack of movement when on the plate. Languini was invented in the 1760's by a renowned Italian pizza maker from Seggiano, Giuseppe Ficarotta. He created the magical dish while experimenting with tobacco, as well as tomato sauce. Languini has become popular all around, however it is often overlooked when introduced with other forms of pasta, specifically because of its lazy nature. There are many disputes about this, but several dignified and highly respected scholars, claim that languini pales in comparison with spaghetti, fusilli, pellizzoni, spaghettini, spaghettoni, ziti, bavette, fettuccine, lasagne, linguine, mefaldine, pappardelle, pizzoccheri, stringozzi, tagliatelle, cannelloni, cavatappi, ditalini, garganelli, gomiti, manicotti, penne, rigatoni, rotini, conchiglie, farfalle, fiori, lanterne, quadrefiore, radiatori, strozzapreti, anelli, ditali, fideos, risi, fagottini, ravioli, tortellini and many more.

Yanyaga

Yanyaga: noun. Contrary to popular belief, yanyaga is not a word of japanese origin and has nothing to do with strange stuff one may find on the internet originating from that country. In fact, yanyagas were created by the strange unison of a Spanish word and Russian folklore, as the name was derived from the words "llano," meaning "flat" in Spanish and "Yaga," a Russian mythical character best described in the Pitcairn Dictionary of Weird Stuff as "an old hag living deep in the forests of Eastern Europe in a house standing on one chicken leg, whose role in mythology is so ambiguous, that she is an even larger mystery than Putin´s bedtime habits." As the question lends itself immediately, it is necessary to state that it is absolutely unknown how this word was created and furthermore, its definition is disputed by many scholars. Some say that the word reflects the too "flat" portrayal of Baba Yaga in certain films, while others maintain that a yanyaga is simply a Baba Yaga that had ended up under an ice resurfacing machine. Either way, the most probable is the hypothesis introduced by the Sevillan institute for linguistics, which states that in fact, the word yanyaga had been derived from the word "lleno" rather than "llano," changing the meaning from "flat" to "full." This would mean that a yanyaga can either describe a full Baba Yaga or a place full of them.

Flufferfish

Flufferfish: noun. A type of sea dweller that is too lazy to reproduce and feeds mostly on corals and kittens. Though kittens are not usually found in their natural habitat, it has been found that flufferfish indulge in the taste of fresh kitten meat (the scientist who found this out was later sentenced to death by stoning with dog biscuits by an illegal, but rather official looking, court set up by PETA). Flufferfish are technically a genetic mutation of pufferfish, but they have been classified by the EXPERTS society of fish breeders as a separate species because of their unique fluffy traits and unwillingness to reproduce, which usually leaves their owners to do the dirty work for them.

Rason

Rason: noun. An explanation of something which in someway involves the Great and Powerful Sun God Ra. For centuries and millenia, people have provided rasons to please the Great and Powerful Sun God Ra and to appease him in an attempt to be pardoned or given special privileges. Obviously this posting is purely informational and in no way are the authors of this blog attempting to influence the Great and Powerful Sun God Ra. The Great and Powerful Sun God Ra is almost always merciful to those who provide rasons and has been known to have bouts of rasoning when making decisions.

Zeqex

Zeqex: noun. A word artificially created and introduced to the English dictionary one night by an anonymous person playing scrabble. The story goes that this person was unfortunate enough to be stuck with the letters "q," "x" and "z" without having any vowel but two "es." Frustrated, the man quickly seized the dictionary sitting on the table and scribbled the word zeqex in it to justify his use of this term in the game. His rivals, however, soon saw through the trick, not as much because of how terrible the handwriting was, but because the man forgot to write down a definition for his newly coined word. Therefore, we can only speculate what this word means and it is very likely that we will never find out, for the man who invented the word was later stoned for cheating.

Slerf

Slerf: noun. A historically outdated class of people who were neither slaves nor serfs and were defined in Norman society by the following rules:
1. They were allowed to own no land.
2. They worked for their superior receiving no pay for any service provided.
3. Most importantly, they were only partial property of their master (hence the fact that they were neither slaves nor serfs). This meant that their master owned a certain share of "their" slerf, usually ranging from about 40 to 75 per cent and he was allowed to "cash in" at any time, meaning that he could hack off as large a portion of the slerf as he owned.

Spoontaneous

Spoontaneous: adjective. To be unpredictable and relating to spoons. Spoontaneous behaviours have been documented in almost every human culture, the only confirmed exception so far being the Mongols. Spoontaneous behaviours have also been observed in captive animals; animals with the most frequent of these behaviours include gorillas, monkeys and fish. The spoontaneous behaviours shown by these animals varied greatly from throwing spoons (or spoon-like objects) at other animals, to throwing other animals at spoons (or spoon-like objects). Oddly, this kind of random behaviour has not been recorded often enough with objects like forks or knives for a word to be made for unpredictable behaviour with them, these objects are often interacted with in very predictable ways by animals (including humans) captive or otherwise.

Barberqueue

Barberqueue: verb. To queue behind a barber or to queue while waiting for one. Although the thought lends itself immediately, barberqueueing does not necessarily have to occur with the purpose of eventually having one´s hair cut. In fact, one can barberqueue for anything and anywhere, provided it is eventually obtained from a barber. Interestingly, if a couple of barbers stand behind each other in a circle and pass back any random object, they are all simultaneously barberqueueing.