Spermanent: adjective. Something that
results from sperm and is permanent, such as stains, babies, and ruined
political careers. The word and its adverbial form was popularised by a 1990s
US sexual education video, which involved an ostensibly ‘hip’ man in a
tracksuit preaching abstinence to teenagers. Towards the end of the video, the
man pauses in his rapping, looks at the camera and says with a knowing smile
that sex is bad because “babies are spermanent,”
following the joke with an uncomfortably long wink and nod. The man was later
identified as the famous foot model Pedro de Pedmonte, whose life goal since the
1990s has been to erase this embarrassing episode from his haunted memory.
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