Woktheist

Woktheist: noun. Someone who worships woks, not to be confused with a ‘pantheist,’ someone who worships pans. What? You don’t like this word? You think it’s stupid? You think it requires very little skill to come up with a pun like this? Ok, look, I know my pun game hasn’t been that good lately and, well the truth is, I’ve just been going through a rough patch. My cat dumped me, I started drinking… it got so bad, I started waking up on other people’s couches… I don’t even know how I got there… once, I woke up next to a drag queen called Cassandra who said I slept with him – her – but I don’t believe it… I went to rehab and when I got back, my cat was back at my house with a weed habit… I took her back in out of the goodness of my heart and you know what happened? The bitch left me and took all of the money I was saving for that new tomato sauce they’re offering at Wallmart – no, not Walmart, I mean Wallmart; you know, that cheap Polish knockoff version? Forget it. Anyway, no, would you stop thinking about today’s word? I know, it’s stupid! Yes, yes it was meant to be a pun. Ok stop, I feel really embarrassed about this already, you don’t have to make it worse.