Vadusian

Vadusian: adjective. This strangely sounding adjective pertains to countries located entirely in the Alps. Incidentally, the only country that fits this single criterion is Liechtenstein. Nothing else can really be said about this word since there isn't that much to say about Liechtenstein itself... so yeah...

Iliad

Iliad: noun. A unit of measurement for journeys. Iliads have been used very frequently since the times of Ancient Maya and today are maintained especially by hitchhikers and hikers, who don't hitch. In 1983 a Professor of Stanford University published a book detailing most all units of measurement for most everything in the universe, and their conversions. Using this book, it is known that 3.534 Iliads is equal to 1 Odyssey and 1 Iliad is equal to 2.3554x10^12 strolls. It is important to not get these units confused, as that could lead to giving oneself too much or too little credit.

Vatican't

Vatican't: noun. In the medieval ages, Vatican't was a term that encompassed all countries that were past the jurisdiction of the Pope. In theory, this would only apply to the rather small area of the Papal States, but depending on which historian one asks (our historian being a fried duck), the Pope had far more direct influence than that. In fact, it was he who often declared wars (for example Pope Urban II) and he on whose impulse monarchs were overthrown or given permission to invade others. For a long time in European history (which, according to our fried duck, is the only type of history that matters), the area of the Vatican't was very small all the way up to the spread of Protestantism, and only then did it start consuming the old continent in the flames of heretical anarchy that would soon devour the world like the devils devour warm pancakes with chocolate and sprinkles and their quack quack quack quack quack. Ok duck, this is the last time I have let you talk into what I am writing down here. Would you please mind your own business now? Hey! That was my toast with jam! And that was my finger! Give it back now, you bad duck! No? Well then I'll have to pull out the big guns, sister! Oh yes, you didn't expect me to have a stomach pump, did you? Well it's too late now! Prepare for total internal extermination!!! Haha, who's quacking now?!!!

Spacity

Spacity: noun. The anxiety of having your head explode while in outer space. Spacity is felt by most people at some point in their life, even if they don't have the slightest chance of coming anywhere near outer space. This feeling is encouraged by certain movies, books, video games and dreams.  To calm oneself when experiencing spacity one must simply think of various types of hats and other head garments, which remind the person that their head is entirely intact and hasn't exploded into a million pieces, which are now floating aimlessly around the galaxy as the decapitated body hovers through space occasionally bumping against a few asteroids, drained entirely of life, meaning and purpose in less than a minute with just enough time to think that it wasn't enough time.

Sandmariner

Sandmariner: unknown. No one has any idea what a Sandmariner is, as it was the only word saved from the entire Oxford Dictionary of Useless Words during the great fire of the Oxford library. However, the creators of this blog have got together to determine what the definition of this bizarre word definitely isn´t.
1. Firstly, a sandmariner definitely does not make dirtwiches.
2. Secondly, it is without a doubt not a citizen of San Marino (those people are called fake Italians).
3. Thirdly, it is indubitably not a marine in sand or having anything to do with sand, as that would be a sandmarine, which is obviously stupid.
From what the definitions assuredly are not, the creators of this blog have come to the conclusion that sandmariner is probably a comparative adjective describing to what extent something is sandy in the sea, or how sandy the sea is itself. A word like this would be highly useful to divers, fish and other inhabitants of the sea, as it would facilitate the labelling of sea visibility conditions (at least as far as whirling sand is responsible for worsened visibility).   

Dirtwich

Dirtwich: noun. Bread held between a few ingredients often including meat. The dirtwich was invented in the 18^th century as a response to the popularization of the sandwich. This invention was made by a group of gamblers who were angry that they didn’t think of the sandwich to keep their cards clean first (as the group was large and every member claimed that they had equal contribution to the idea, no names will be given). It is not clear exactly what these people were thinking when they made their invention; some say it was simply to mock the sandwich while others claim that they had some belief that creating the opposite of a sandwich would cause them to cancel out allowing the group to reinvent the sandwich, while most believe that half of the group were mocking and the other half hoped the inventions would cancel out. Hopes of cancelling out the sandwich did not come true, some believe that the only reason for this was that there weren’t nearly as many dirtwiches made as sandwiches, while people disagree with this most people agree that dirtwiches did not gain popularity because they  weren’t at all practical.

Germate

Germate: verb. To grow germs on purpose. Germing is very often conducted in laboratories around the world, especially to research diseases, but it is also very common in regular households. Here we can find germation in nasal cavities, on mouldy bread, behind cabinets and in beer bottles. One must be very careful when germating so as not to germate something unexpected and potentially dangerous. There was a case of a 60-year old man from Norwich who successfully germated Salmonella in his own bowl of petunias. This attracted the attention of the local council and since then germition has been banned in Norfolk.

Smartbell

Smartbell: noun. Weights generally used for arm exercises and other gym activities. Unlike their more common cousins, dumbbells, smartbells are wider in the middle and thinner on the ends. This means a more even distribution of weight, a difficulty of grasp, as well as higher entropy and inability to hold the object. Smartbells have caused more accidents in gyms and sporting centres than tennis rackets and toilets combined, which is impressive indeed. It is virtually impossible to hold a smartbell for longer than 10 minutes without it slipping out of the hand of the holder.

Recreationale

Recreationale: noun. A set of logical rules and reasons for a holiday or break. A recreationale can be presented to an employer when he discovers an employee not doing his job and simply wasting time. If the recreationale is satisfactory and done according to the appropriate system, then by international law the employer must allow his employee to continue in the wasting of time. However for this to work, the reasons in the recreationale must be very logical and sound indeed, because if the recreationale is found to be badly made or incomplete, then the punishment is the taking away of holiday privileges for two years.

Knowsing

Knowsing: noun. The process of annoying and interrupting people or conversations with knowledge, which may seem interesting to the speaker, but is completely irrelevant and in fact quite confusing to the interrupted. Knowsing was first identified as a form of torture by Isaac Newton's caretakers in his later years, when his already uncertain grasp on reality was fading even more. In Bolivia knowsing is punishable by the death penalty, or spending 5 days with a very enthusiastic professor of Archaeology.

Expensivate

Expensivate: noun. Although this word may at first appear to be a verb it is in fact a noun, which literally translates as an "expensive wait". The general rule is that the expensivate must cost a person over $2,000 dollars to be a proper expensivate, otherwise it is only a semiexpensivate. Examples of expensivates include waiting, while having parked where not meant to, and by waiting increasing the value of the parking ticket, or for example waiting outside a burning house before trying to save it, thereby causing more things of value to burn up.

Stor

Stor: verb. To be on the ground, but not be sitting or laying down. Some may say that this is no different from standing, but this is incorrect because “standing” can be used to describe the simple unmoving of objects and is not distinguishable from the object “sitting” or “lying”. For example “the box stood in the corner” has the same meaning as “the box sat in the corner”. This word was first used by an obscure writer attempting to make a horror story titled Mystery Mail (the story managed to be less obscure than the writer, the reason that its title is known but the writer’s name is not); in this story a box literally stood, to make the event more dramatic this writer invented the word, his story may have been more well known if he defined the word before using it in the story as if it were an already existing word in the English language.  Because of this decision, very few people had to wait until now to fully understand Mystery Mail.

Walletta

Walletta: noun. A walletta is a typical Maltese product that is very well known in the two neighbouring islands and, to a much lesser extent, in the rest of the world. Despite its fame though, no one is quite sure what the original and proper walletta is, the two options being the following:
1. A low and short wall formed to protect a less strategically valuable castle (or chateau when in France).
2. A small wallet made of the hair of a Maltese Dog. It is perfectly suitable for both animal lovers and allergics as a proper walletta is made of painlessly cut fur, which is considered largely hypoallegrenic.
Whatever the poper definition is, the authors of this blog encourage you to buy one for yourself and your family; email us at wallettadogandwalllovers@maltamail.mt   

Chiez

Chiez: noun. Any substance with a reflection coefficient of 0.1 to 0.15. This word was invented in 1994 by a random astronomer giving a presentation to young children; it was used as a compromise as the children insisted that the moon was made of cheese no matter how much contrary evidence he offered. Since its invention the word “Chiez” has been increasing in popularity, seeing almost 6 appearances in web-based media in 2010 (not counting times where the author’s meaning was “Cheese”). In 2012 astronomy students were observed punning with this word; they were in a discussion about sharing an object to study for an assignment they had, allowing them to share information (or for one to use the other’s information, consequently doing less work himself), noticing that the albedo of the moon he was studying was in the correct range the less lazy of the two proclaimed “It’s nacho chiez”!

Rake-a-Pick

Rake-a-Pick: verb. Rake-a-Picking is an Icelandic technique used in the agricultural industry and to a no lesser extent in landfilling, levelling and house building. To rake-a-pick is quite hard, the technique being highly dependent on the availability of fresh lava (or magma if doing the process is for some reason needed under ground). The whole idea consists of using an instrument that is a pickaxe from one side and a rake from the other to break through the walls of volcanoes and then evenly spreading out the lava that rushes out. Every other year, Icelanders meet up for the biannual rake-a-picking contest on the sides of the volcano eyyafyallayöküll. However, the contest always ends up in someone getting injured, escorted to the hospital and the whole thing being cancelled, which explains why the vicinity of the volcano is not perfectly flat as would be the case if the contests were successful.  

Violance

Violance: noun. Aggressiveness with string instruments. Violance was banned by the International Court of Human Rights in 1976 after the famous Verona incident, where masses of different factions took to the streets with their string instruments and fought for their beliefs. Hundreds died in the charge of the lyre brigade, while thousands suffered under heavy fire from the double bass artillery. There is a specific case when a high-ranking official of the city was killed by a bow from a viola. The conflict only ended after one side introduced the great harpsichord and the peace of baryton was signed.

Lundun

Lundun: interjection. The interjection lundun was first used by the British poet William McGonagall in his not too well known poem about what he thought of Queen Victoria. The poem goes as follows:

Mighty Queen Victoria,
She´s looking for euphoria,
She can see ya,
From the land of Moria.

Your life she´ll destroy,
Like the Greeks did with Troy,
A knife is her toy,
Oh boy, boy, oh boy.

Your house do abandon,
For she lives in London,
You´ll be in the dungeon,
Oh sorrow, oh lundun!

Disclaimer: the authors of this blog take no responsibility for any psychological damage caused to you by reading this ... "poem."

Miserability

Miserability: noun. This word has in fact several meanings, all of which are held in high regard by the authors of various dictionaries. These definitions are as follows:
1. The large subset of the category of nobility, in other words the nobility which is miserable. Miserability can be miserable for various reasons, whether it's loss of property, revolution or free will.
2. The ability to be miserable. This ability is retained by most people from their early teens until their death. The amount of miserability fluctuates as one goes through life with highs and lows at various points.
The two very distinct definitions for this word lead to such wonderful yet simple sentences such as: "The miserability have miserability."

Dubbling

Dubbling: noun. Dubbling is the common Irish practice of a single voice actor dubbing more than one characters in a foreign language film. Originating from the year 2008 when the country was struck by a major financial crisis, dubbling became highly popular in the film industry, as it required a far smaller budget than normal dubbing and it even became the norm in some companies for one voice actor to dub all of the characters in the film as well as writing the translations. It could be viewed as strange that there have been no complaints so far from the Irish public about this practice, but recently, a survey explained why this is, stating that to conserve electricity, the Irish watch TV without turning the sound on. An English scientist working on this research proceeded to snidely comment that the reason for doing so may not be frugality, but plain ignorance of the fact that televisions actually have sound these days, which the Irish are having a hard time getting used to.

Monocaw

Monocaw: noun. A monocaw is a quite elaborate term coming from the early sixteenth century, when pirates from Monte Carlo introduced the fashion of carrying around colourful parrots on one´s shoulders. What the word describes is a macaw that has to wear a monocle because of a slight sight deficinecy, usually caused by one eyed peering into telescopes and a parrot version of the Stockholm syndrome, which describes the state when a macaw actually begins to sympathise with its capturer to such an extent that when living with a one eyed pirate, the vision of one of its eyes begins to deteriorate.

Superstitionize

Superstitione: verb. To take a common myth, legend, saying or general phrase or idea and make it a superstition. This was very popular especially in the 17th and 18th century. Superstitioning was taken to the extreme in the town of Salem, where all black cats were banished from the town forever and haven't been seen in the vicinity of the town since then. To superstitione has been forbidden by the Baha'i faith as it is considered unfriendly and unsupportive.

Andorrer

Andorrer: noun, verb or adjective. Depending on the context, the word Andorrer could mean either (or perhaps even both) of the following things:
1. In the adjectival sense, something Andorrer is more Andorric than another thing, the word Andorric pertaining to the magnitude of how much something pertains to the country of Andorra or its capital Andorra la Vella.
2. However, in the verbal form, to Andorrer is to travel at a speed exactly in between running and walking, which in modern English has been replaced by a far less elaborate word - 'jog.' The more archaic form of this word is actually an amalgam of two Spanish words, which would explain its falling out of common use and public favour after the Spanish-American War. The two words are "andar" (to walk) and "correr" (to run).
3. Lastly, when used as a noun, Andorrer gains the following definition as written down in the Oxford Dictionary of words that have not been used since 1953: "A person who claims he is from the Andes mountains, but in fact is from somewhere much orrrrrr." The assumption that goes along with this definition is that the person who wrote the dictionary wanted to write a clever pun but forgot it and in exasperation only wrote "orrrrrr," leaving us with only a slight hint at what the clever pun could have been.

Pollutionedaire

Pollutionedaire: noun. Air which is polluted. That's it, there's no more to this definition, deal with it.

Lisbone

Lisbone: noun. An archaeological finding somewhere in the vicinity of Portugal's capital. Such archaeological finding must be completely isolated from findings of the same type, hence the fact that the word is Lisbone and not Liskeleton (which is also a word though, just not today's post). The history of Lisbones is not quite well mapped, as they aren't very common. In fact, everything that has been called a Lisbone in the past has later been found to be a Liskeleton.   

Genii

Genii: noun. A genius who is also a genie. Although this may be unexpected for some people, not all genies are brilliant, despite their ability to grant wishes. Some genies simply aren't clever enough to come up with the idea of making themselves brilliant. Although one may also think that the clever genies would help out their less-clever counterparts, they have simply started a snarky society which mocks the less-intelligent genies.

Madread

Madread: noun. The physical or psychological suffering of redneck Americans stuck in Madrid, usually caused by language barriers and intestinal difficulties due to American unfamiliarity with the local cuisine that manifests itself in their inability to distinguish anything from chicken - the exception being hamburgers and cheeseburgers, although some still think that those foods are made of chicken and chicken lactose too. 

Pairess

Pairess: noun. According to old French tradition, a pairess is a duo of females that get to inherit some sort of valuable item. This used to be quite useful during the twin epidemics of Paris in the early 1700s, when for some strange reason, people could only give birth to female twins. Pairessing was, therefore, a very easy way of bequeathing one's fortune evenly and without the necessity of finding male heirs, who were (at least before the introduction of this custom) driven in all the way from Marseilles.   

Forgetion

Forgetion: noun. The rather complex process of forgetting an idea, person or number. This process is often experienced by Annas throughout the world. The process of forgetion was first developed by Stan Goosh. Before the development forgetion ideas, people or numbers were never lost and the world was a much more coordinated place, however the sect known as the chaotists revolted against this order and hired Goosh to develop forgetion, which then lead to the permanent decrease of world efficiency by 2347%.