Raphal

Raphal: adjective. Raphal people love fish and healing, sometimes healing fish or even healing using fish. Never tell a Raphal person that you are sick while they are holding a fish. Odds are that they will slap you with it or tear it apart and smear it all over you.

Urial

Urial: adjective. A Urial person loves light, art, and flaming swords. Despite their love for clarity and brightness, Urial people tend to be the ones surrounded by the greatest mystery. Their identity is often difficult to place, confused, and sometimes even neglected in an inundation of conflicting accounts. Remind you of anyone? No? Didn't think so.

Michal

Michal: adjective. To be Michal is either to keep wondering who is like God, or to be like or pertaining to the archangel Michael. Being like Michael tends to entail inflicting righteous violence on unsuspecting and suspecting victims alike, and acting very self-entitled about it.

Gabrial

Gabrial: adjective. In a very literal sense, to be Gabrial is to rely on God as the source of one's strength. However, the word is usually used in the sense of 'like or pertaining to the archangel Gabriel.' People called Gabrial tend to wear linen, dress in white, carry around horns, dictate books, and give unwanted news.

Onany

Onany: noun. The word Onany, derived either from the German "Onanie," the Spanish "Onanismo," or the French "Onanisme," is the act of pleasuring oneself sexually (also known as "the M-word," "the rustle mustle," "the naughty game with one's private bits," and "the no-no dodo"). To commit onany is to onanate, and a person who onanates is an onanator (which, despite its intimidating sound, does not come with any superpowers). Whichever language it derives from, Onany ultimately traces its origins back to the "sin of Onan," though commentators argue over whether Onan's sin consisted in spilling his seed or disobeying God. While the latter seems to be the more plausible and more scripturally justified opinion, the idea that the sin of Onan consisted in spilling his seed has found very militant supporters in many churches, which apparently thrive on telling people what not to do with their dingle-dongles.

Disabel

Disabel: verb. To disabel is to permanently reduce the functionality of a person to nothing. The word comes from some of the earliest Latin translations of the book of Genesis, which went something like this:

8 Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.
9 One could say that made him pretty... disabeled! 

For one reason or another, this cheesy pun was eventually dropped in favour of a rather redundant dialogue between Cain and God, both of whom of course knew what had occurred, one by virtue of his involvement, the other through his omniscience.

Serpend

Serpend: verb. To serpend has a range of meanings:
1. To dispose of a serpent, e.g. in the sentence "I had the pest control serpend my house."
2. To move in a serpent-like fashion, i.e. through undulation and coiling. "The snake serpended to the smooth rhythm of the rumba."
3. To be dependent on a serpent, e.g. "It serpends: how big was your child the last time you saw it and could it fit into a medium sized anaconda?"

Ovidation

Ovidation: noun. A period of high productivity in the life of a poet. Some poets have Ovidations often, while others may not have an Ovidation their entire life. Some poets have Ovidations in regular cycles, while others Ovidate in a completely haphazard fashion. It is the tragedy of many poets that their Ovidations do not necessarily increase their poetic productivity, but productivity of very irrelevant kinds, like in curling, sex, or blueberry-picking.

Aighnneeasse

Aighnneeasse: unknown. The word Aenneeasse is a product of an experiment with the English language devised by Lewis Carroll. Carroll postulated that any word in the English language could be doubled in length using common spelling conventions without changing the sound of the word at all. Using the English spelling of the name "Aeneas" (six letters) to demonstrate the concept, Carroll showed that the word Aighnneeasse (twelve letters) makes the word twice as long without changing its sound at all. Carroll repeated this experiment with many other words, such as shoe (schueuet), ale (eighle) and a (uh or ey, depending on the pronunciation). However, Carroll ran into an insurmountable problem with the word "thought." The word "thought," Carroll said, was already so full of letters it didn't need that it did not fit his hypothesis. A year later, he attacked the problem again, saying that any word in the English language could be written in a simple way (unless it was written in a simple way already), and this simple spelling could then be doubled in length while keeping the pronunciation. For example, the word "thought" can be simplified to "thoht," which can then be expanded to the twice as long "thouwghtte." None of the words Carroll came up with during the experiment, however, were given definitions, and so they roam the world to this day, homeless monsters from the darkest nightmares of a truly evil Doctor Frankenstein.

Telemaniac

Telemaniac: noun. A person obsessed with long distances and anything connected to them. Telemaniacs love long-distance friendships, travelling, and fathers lost at sea. Their condition is called telemania and when they fly into a rage, they are referred to as telemaniacal. The opposite of telemania is anchimania, which is an obsession with things that are nearby and is recommended over telemania by nine out of ten psychiatrists.

Scyll

Scyll: noun. Scyll, pronounced the same way as the word "skill," is expertise with regard to controlling dogs. A person with scyll is called scylled. The word scyll derives from Scylla, a nymph who, according to certain classical sources, was transformed into a monster with dogs growing from her body. One could hardly get more scylled than Scylla unless one were actually a dog.

Aeolous

Aeolous: adjective. Windy, gusty, breezy, etc. The word aeolous derives from the name of the Greek lord of the wind: Aeolus. According to legends, he owned a sack containing all the winds of the world. Describing the weather as aeolous makes one sound very classy, even intellectual.

Kirkular

Kirkular: adjective. When a motion is described as kirkular, it is circular and has magical effects. The word derives from the name of the Greek witch Circe and is not spelled with two Cs, because then people would read it as "sir-kyoo-lar", which would break the convention according to which the witch's name is read as "Kir-kay", following the Greek pronunciation. Although this post might sound too rant-like, please do remember to read the witch's name as "Kir-kay" and remember that when she transforms Odysseus' crew into pigs, she does it with a kirkular wave of her wand.

Lotophagy

Lotophagy: noun. The word lotophagy has two meanings, both derived from Homer's Odyssey:
1. The literal meaning of the word lotophagy is simply the consumption of lotuses. One needs to practice lotophagy on a regular basis, however, to be called a lotophagian.
2. Doing pleasurable but unproductive things over what is necessary or important. A form of procrastination, lotophagy tends to be one of the most serious, as a lotophagian is a procrastinator so deep in their procrastination that they no longer feel any shame, and consequently, no need to stop.

Odystance

Odystance: noun. An odystance is a constantly changing and indeterminate length of space between two points. The most famous example of odystance is the journey of Odysseus' homecoming (or "nostos" in Greek). While at some points in the story, it is absolutely unclear where Odysseus is in modern geographic terms, at other points, Odysseus jumps from being really close to Ithaca to being blown back by the winds of Aeolus' sack, and therefore even farther than he was before.     

Parisan

Parisan: adjective. Pertaining to anyone of the name Paris. The word parisan was devised by the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language (MREL) to avoid confusion between the city of Paris and Paris the person. What the movement forgot to mention when it coined the word was how it should be pronounced. This is why there is a huge divergence today between people who say "pah-ri-sun," people who say "pah-ris-en," and those who say "pah-rye-sun." 

Briseisless

Briseisless: adjective. To be briseisless is to be deprived of some symbol of honour, or "kleos" in Greek. For example, one is called briseisless when one's degree is revoked or when one's Olympic medals are taken. Briseisless people tend to end up sulky, unemployed, or - especially in the modern world - candidating for president of the USA.

Andromake

Andromake: verb. To build up someone's masculinity. The word andromake comes from Homer's Iliad, in which Andromache, the wife of Hector, is used to reinforce the character of Hector, showing him as a loving husband and father, as well as a valiant fighter. Thanks to Andromache, Hector seems to become the most complete character and the best male role model in the whole work, thus making the word Andromake all the more relevant.

Pentheance

Pentheance: noun. The obstinate refusal to show penitence, also known as apenitence. Pentheance, or apenitence, is very different from unpenitence, which consists of revoking one's former penitence and going back to pentheance. The word pentheance derives from the character of Pentheus, who refused to acknowledge Dionysus as a god and was ripped apart by his own mother under Bacchic rage. 

Bacching

Bacching: noun. Support, whether material or emotional, given to thespians by the great god of theatre, Bacchus (also known as Dionysus). Bacching can take any form, from little gifts of wine and grapes to Bakkheia, a blinding rage that clouds the mind and grants superhuman strength. It is unclear whether the Hulk suffers from Bakkheia, but given the apparent lack of connection between him and Bacchus, this is quite unlikely.

Electral

Electral: adjective. An electrifyingly exciting character or person, just like anyone but Electra in Aeschylus' Oresteia. Unlike the word she gave birth to, Aeschylus' Electra is terribly bland, never really giving a satisfying explanation for her loyalties other than consuming self-righteousness. This is why Jung came up with an even more unsatisfying explanation for her behaviour, attributing it to attraction to her father and subsequent animosity towards her mother. Be it as it may, Aeschylus' Electra is partially responsible for her mother's Clytemnestran fall, for which she shall never be forgiven... at least not by me.

Agamemorable

Agamemorable: adjective. Memorable for all the wrong reasons. The word is not entirely synonymous with the word infamous, as agamemorable tends to have pathetic connotations, rather than the evil connotations that seem to tack onto the word infamous. Agamemorable people, rather than being remembered for being good or bad, tend to be remembered for being unfortunate. Examples of such people include Agamemnon, Don Quixote, and my personal favourite: me.

Orest

Orest: noun. The recovering of strength thanks to favourable court rulings. Examples of the word used in a sentence include:
"The defendant gained orest after the judge pronounced him not guilty of stuffing salmon in people's trousers."
"I am hoping that after taking it to court, I will get some orest from this whole divorce and multiple murder."

Cassandraconic

Cassandraconic: adjective. Something - often a punishment - is called cassandraconic when it is not only harsh, but also somehow clandestine or not entirely evident to other people, which adds to the torment of the sufferer. As opposed to draconic punishments, such as public decapitation or flogging, cassandraconic punishments have an added psychological dimension. Examples include the curse on Cassandra that made other people disbelieve her prophesies, the curse on Zechariah that made him dumb, or the curse on Echo who could then only repeat the ends of what other people said.

Clytemnestran

Clytemnestran: adjective. A Clytemnestran character is a tragically misunderstood, usually female character, who is negatively portrayed or receives negative treatment for resisting dominant powers. The epitome of Clytemnestran is, of course, Queen Clytemnestra, who takes revenge on her husband for killing their daughter Iphigenia. She is murdered by her son and is portrayed very negatively throughout the whole of the Oresteia largely because she dares exert this power over male characters. Another Clytemnestran character in classical literature is Arachne, who speaks against the wrongdoings of the gods and is punished by being transformed into a spider. A more modern example of a Clytemnestran character is The Queen of the Night from the Magic Flute, who loses a desperate fight for her daughter and her former power against an evil misogynist cult led by the severely deluded Sarastro.

Iphigenial

Iphigenial: adjective. To be iphigenial is to be genuinely happy while ignorant of an impending catastrophe. Such was the case of Iphigenia, the daughter of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra, who was told that she would get married, but was instead led down the isle to a sacrificial ceremony. The words iphigenial and iphigenially can be used in sentences such as the following: "The game of the iphigenial children involved poking an electric outlet with a fork" or "The tourist iphigenially pranced around the minefield."

Oedible

Oedible: adjective. To be oedible is to have the potential to be eaten, but it should rather be left alone. Sadly for the word oedible, most people use this term with very inappropriate sexual connotations, saying that, for example, Oedipus' mother was oedible. In non-sexual conversations, the distinction between eatable and edible has largely rendered the word oedible unnecessary.

Haimony

Haimony: noun. The precarious appearance of serenity maintained by a person right before going down the path of no return. The word Haimony originates from an ancient treatise about the character of Haimon from the play Antigone. Haimon appears perfectly unperturbed even with the impending death of his betrothed, but his composure devolves very fast after a heated conversation with his father who sentenced her to it. It is clear at that point that Haimon's composure was merely played - a haimony. 

Miskreont

Miskreont: adjective or noun. A miskreont is a person who acts within temporal laws but against the divine. Although similar in some ways to an ismenist, a miskreont actively goes out of their way to break divine laws, whereas an ismenist will only break divine laws if in contradiction with temporal laws.