Petent: noun. A licence conferring the exclusive right to
an invention relating to pets. Nearly 90% of all petents made since the year 2000 have been different flavours of
doggy treats, including grass, snow, cat, caviar, coke, cocaine (for dogs in
withdrawal), sake, mochi, asparagus, cherry, and the ever-popular fresh poo
flavour. The remaining petents have
largely been concentrated within the cat-scratcher industry, because scratching
poles are boring and any real cat needs to scratch at varying heights,
inclines, and curvatures.
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