Monday, 22 May 2017

Petent

Petent: noun. A licence conferring the exclusive right to an invention relating to pets. Nearly 90% of all petents made since the year 2000 have been different flavours of doggy treats, including grass, snow, cat, caviar, coke, cocaine (for dogs in withdrawal), sake, mochi, asparagus, cherry, and the ever-popular fresh poo flavour. The remaining petents have largely been concentrated within the cat-scratcher industry, because scratching poles are boring and any real cat needs to scratch at varying heights, inclines, and curvatures. 

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