Filladollphia

Filladollphia: noun. Filladollphia is a psychological disorder that manifests itself in a constant urge to insert things into dolls. People particularly affected by this disorder are workers in doll factories, who not only develop this disorder as a result of their job, but also regard it as the social standard due to constant exposure to such behaviour. A help line is currently being set up in Tokyo to help filladollphiacs overcome their unconventionality and its founder Nihonjindes Bakame hopes it might just be more successful than the American religious clinics founded on the principle of praying the filladollphiac away. 

Filladolphia

Filladolphia: noun. Filladolphia is a phenomenon common among taxidermists that manifests itself in an obsession with stuffing dolphins. Filladolphiacs often apply for jobs at aquaria and sea-parks with the hope that by some unfortunate accident, they will be able to put their training in taxidermy to good use. After several accidents that were shown to be somewhat advertent following police investigation, it has become common practice in centres for housing marine wildlife to conduct psychosexual tests on each employee and applicant for jobs in order to limit the impact of similar desires.     

Filiodelphia

Filiodelphia: noun. Filiodelphia is the metaphorical state of Delphi being one’s child. The founding citizens of Delphi never called themselves Filiodelphs or Filiodelphiacs, but that does not prevent imaginative, inspiring, incredibly handsome and irresistibly attractive blogwriters from making this word up.

Philiodauphia

Philiodauphia: noun. Philiodauphia is when one is loved by a dauphin. Philiodauphiacs tend to be stuck with the epithet of “lucky bastards,” which anti-royalists use to justify their own hatred of philiodauphiacs and the psychological torture they subject them to by calling their mothers hamsters.

Philiodollphia

Philiodollphia: noun. The state of being loved by a doll. Contrary to popular belief, dolls aren’t actually capable of showing emotions, making philiodollphia more common in horror films. My cousin saw Child Play once. I think he was five or six. Since then, he’s always been afraid of dolls. When he was twenty one, my sister and I put a giant Ariel doll on his doorstep, rang the doorbell and hid around the corner. His terrified scream was amazing.    

Philiodolphia

Philiodolphia: noun. The state of being loved by a dolphin. Usually, the subjects of philiodolphia are dolphins themselves, but some people – particularly sailors – report cases of being subjected to a very carnal and even violent manifestation of such love. That is how mermaids are born.

Meshuggenerer

Meshuggenerer: adjective. Someone called meshuggenerer is more meshuggener (crazy/insane) than someone else. The most meshuggener person of the year is called meshuggenerest and receives a little tiara from the Organisation of Meshuggeners in Queens, New York.

Overcat

Overcat: noun. Whereas an underdog is a competitor with low chances of winning in a competition, an overcat is a competitor who might as well claim the prize because he/she/it will almost certainly never lose. The intermediate version of these two words is the word throughpig: a competitor who has a decent chance of winning but also a decent chance of losing. Changing one's bet from an underdog to a throughpig is the most reliable way to heighten the chances of winning money while keeping a decent rate, whereas betting on the overcat is more like a low-risk investment.   

Dogering

Dogering: noun. Dogering is the business of removing food from a site, usually through rapid guzzling, gobbling and gluttony. Whereas catering makes sure that food arrives in a relatively acceptable form, the end product of dogering is almost always a mess and a pile of dog excrement, which explains why most people refuse to pay for this service in the first place and instead profit from the desperateness of job-seeking dogs.

Catpile

Catpile: noun. A catpile, as the name suggests, is a word with very little practical use. Cats are not very social animals, so catpiles only tend to be formed in early infancy or among lions. In zoos, forming catpiles are a good indicator of too little personal space (unless the constituents are lions or cubs) or mass sexual harassment.

Dogastrophe

Dogastrophe: noun. A dogastrophe (not to be confused with a dogasstrophy, a reward for dogs with nice behinds) is a dramatic event with very positive consequences. Dogastrophes tend to occur right after catastrophes in a very relativistic sense, as a turn from the terrible to the not-as-terrible is still a great relief. So-called 'pure dogastrophes,' i.e. dogastrophes that do not directly follow catastrophes, are very rare and many Christians claim that the last one happened around 2000 years ago.

Catted

Catted: adjective. People described as catted display a very nonchalant, uncaring attitude towards achieving their goals. Similarly to cats, catted people are unlikely to work hard for a pay raise, instead preferring to wipe their bum on the leg of their boss. Catted people show little tenacity and persistence, which is why they tend to end up running state-owned organisations. 

Dogalogue

Dogalogue: noun. A dogalogue is a haphazard mishmash of information thrown together in an inappropriate way without any regard for potential readers. As most teachers will tell you, 95% of the assignments they read are dogalogues, with the remaining 5% comprising plagiarisms. To call any work of literature or art a dogalogue is generally considered to be a scathing review, equivalent to exactly 0% on Rotten Tomato. 

Catterel

Catterel: noun. A catterel is a posh, rhythmically precise and noble poem - the complete opposite of a doggerel. Catterels do not necessarily have to be written by cats, in the same way that doggerels do not always have to be written by dogs, but it is preferable because cats are creatures well versed in the art of aesthetics. Famous catterels include poems such as "I Wandered Lonely as a Crab."

Dogaract

Dogaract: noun. A dogaract is a clearing of the lens in the eye leading to an improvement of vision. The scientific community is not entirely sure what causes dogaracts, but many eye-surgeons willingly take the credit and ascribe such improvements to their psychic powers. Oddly enough, they refuse to answer the question of how cataracts form. 

Fairiness

Fairiness: noun. Qualities associated with a fairy. We are posting this word because it seems that the first three words of this month were somehow misconstrued by people with very dirty minds who were convinced we meant to write about breasts. We hope that no such thing will happen to words like fairiness, so we are starting over with newfound innocence. Now about those perverted fairy poofs: do you think they use their wands as --- 

Jugged

Jugged: adjective. Someone referred to as jugged is gifted with abnormally large or abnormally many jugs. The most jugged group of people is traditionally the female part of the rural populace of Sub-Saharan Africa. In these communities, it is not uncommon to find jugged females not only with a jug in each hand, but also carrying an extra jug on the head. It is customary to pronounce the word jugged in a way that rhymes with "rugged," but it is becoming more and more common to hear people pronounce jugged in a way that rhymes with "bugged."

Boobying

Boobying: noun. Boobying (not to be confused with the word boobeyeing) is the funny waddling exhibited by boobies, classified as an example of intangible world heritage by the UNESCO. Boobying is a phenomenon of particular interest because boobies are naturally more comfortable in water and thus, any effort they dedicate to waddling on land becomes seriously hilarious. An example of boobying used in a sentence is the title and first verse of the famous poem by Gilliam Gourdsworth, "I Boobied Lonely as a Clown."

Subtitute

Subtitute: verb. To subtitute is to replace a tit with another tit. The most common subtitution is the replacement of a tit from one tit family with a tit from the same tit family. During serious tit epidemics, however, it is not uncommon to witness natural subtitutions such as grey tits replacing great tits and invasive blue tits replacing yellow tits, particularly in countries such as Taiwan. Most subtitutions are monitored by the Truly International Titwatchers (The TITs) who affectionately call themselves titties.