Imdentiloquent

Imdentiloquent: noun. Pertaining to someone who speaks through someone else's teeth. Generally this word applies to people with dentures or simply to a person who has stolen someone's teeth and used them as his own. Obviously this also implies that the denture-wearing or teeth-stealing person also has a speech impediment, which leads him to speaking through his teeth, rather than much more clearly and eloquently. If you maybe considered that you are an imdentiloquent then there is a 24-hour help line that you can call anytime and there are people there who will listen.

Dominote

Dominote: verb. This word has two quite easily interchangeable meanings which are the following:
1. To win a game of domino.
2. To successfully perform a part in Daniel Auber's opera Le Domino Noir.
Clearly, it is very hard to distinguish these definitions even with plenty of context and so we urge our readers to use this word very discriminately.  

Cleptozoosis

Cleptozoosis: noun. The act of plundering animals. This is the worst crime one can commit in a zoo, ranked hire than murder or even genocide. The United Nations International Court of Justice decreed so in the first ever meeting of the International Court of Justice and it has been upheld ever since. A man was sentenced to death in Belize for stealing a pigeon in a zoo, where the pigeon didn't even belong to the zoo, but was simply flying through. That should give you an idea of what kind of a heinous crime cleptozoosis is.

Capericiousness

Capericiousness: noun. The arrogantly whimsical behaviour of cape-possessing superheroes. An example of such behaviour can be seen in episode four of Living with Superman, entitled Superman has a bad day at the supermarket. Basically, all that Superman does in that episode - well perhaps it would be more accurate to say what he doesn't do - is give a rat's rear end.   

Causeusse

Causeusse: noun. A couch made for two people, where one of the spots is occupied by Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss's publisher at Random House often complained that Dr Seuss was in his office so much that his sofa had become a causeusse and thereby originated the word. Since then only two other examples of causeusses have existed. The psychologist B. F. Skinner claimed that his causeusse with Dr Seuss sitting on it provided the most stresslessness.

Fragment 16:

However Pamela Pike was not in form today. Her acting was mediocre at best and an episode that centred on Pamela's character's creditodebitism really wasn't that interesting. Things did get a lot more interesting when the TV flickered and the programme changed all of a sudden. With horror Herb realised that what was he was seeing on the TV set was his own lab. A rather shy howerella appeared to attempt to explain what was going on, but his stummer really didn't help. He was yanked off stage and a rather imposing man stepped on and exclaimed: "I am the victimator! Starting tomorrow my devilish plan shall be put into action and I will finally rule the world! Tomorrow morning you will all willingly come to this laboratory and undergo a brapse." The TV set flickered and returned to the regular programming, but Herb wasn't paying attention, he was horrified! Global brapses, and conducted in his lab! He wouldn't allow it!

Ultracapernoited

Ultracapernoited: adjective. Describing someone who is extremely drunk and/or tipsy. This word is commonly used in the streets of Glasgow and is strongly opposed by the population of Edinburgh if it comes to visit Glasgow, for it considers the word a disgrace and an abuse of the English language, as well as an abandoning of Scottish heritage.

Skunt

Skunt: noun. A stunt-performing skunk. Considering the possible offense that one may cause by saying this word after words ending with "s," we have decided to leave the definition there and would like to interest you in some speculative facts about economic botany: If anyone ever offers to take you through time to the Netherlands in 1634, telling you that you can only bring one thing along, take a pot of tulips. If you're lucky and don't get mugged, you can sell them, buy yourself a nice manor in Amsterdam and never work again. 

Cagemosis

Cagemosis: noun. A husband being trapped inside a cage by his wife due to an unhappy marriage. Interestingly cagemosis is only illegal in 12 U.S. states out of 50. For example in Iowa cagemosis is perfectly legal and in the town of Algona, Iowa it is actually encouraged if the marriage is an unhappy one and the woman feels that it is the man at fault. If the man feels that the woman is at fault then there is little he can do about it and just be a man and suck it up!

Dreadkey

Dreadkey: noun. Speaking of donlocks, many readers have gotten back to us wanting to know what other locks could be opened by. A recurring question we have received was one about dreadlocks. Well obviously, we must answer that dreadlocks can only be opened by dreadkeys, but what is more interesting than the dreadkeys themselves is what comes out of the former dreadlocks. Their content often includes (but definitely is not limited to) fungi, plants, lice, rice, bugs and small rodents. There have even been cases of eggs hatching in some people's dreadlocks which were followed by furious attacks on their possessors by frantic chicken.   

Colonel Borborygmus

Colonel Borborygmus: noun. A famous arch-nemesis of Batman, who was known throughout Gotham City for using his incredible stomach noises to produce earthquakes capable of toppling buildings. It is rumoured that Colonel Borborygmus was responsible for the earthquake that destroyed Old Wayne Tower and required the construction of what became known as simply Wayne Tower.

Donlock

Donlock: noun. Have you ever wondered what donkeys open? Well, unlike monkeys, who have opposable thumbs and are therefore capable of opening most of the things that humans can open, donkeys have no such thing and so their list of things they could open is considerably smaller. This is why the donkey community decided to start manufacturing donlocks to have the satisfaction of being able to open things others can't open. It is, however, quite a mystery what donlocks actually are as the donkeys quite shrewdly decided to keep all of the information about them to themselves so as to prevent those meddling humans from finding out how it's done. 

Snaked

Snaked: adjective. An adjective describing a snake shortly after it has shed its skin (or, more accurately, moutled). The question that naturally arises from this definition is what time would be deemed as "shortly." To this there is a very simple answer that we retrieved from the Bible, specifically from Peter, 3:8:
"With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day."
It is then up to debate as to whether the specific snake is with the Lord or not to be able to answer the question properly.

Fragment 15:

It happened then that Herb was dressed up like a badger and sent to the denmarket trying to act as inconspicuously as possible. He was able to get a good deal and while Christina was transporting the waterman to the den, he was already headed there with the new owner himself. Getting rid of his obligations towards Christina (who, as was later found out, had snuffins hidden inside the waterman and was duly arrested by the badger who was really an undercover badger agent), Herb walked back home to his verdurating dirtwitches and chicketting companion and sat down contently on his couch to watch a suckerfish soap opera featuring his favourite actress Pamela Pike. 

Colonalborborygmus

Colonalborborygmus: noun. The rumbling sound of gas passing through the large intestine. This word is composed of the words colonal (referring to the colon) and borborygmus, which is the scientific term for "tummy noises". It is what all parents should explain to their children, when their spawn...I mean kids, claim that their "stomach is speaking in tongues".

Ananas

Ananas: noun. It is high time that the English language finally left its silly practice of calling ananases "pineapples," as they have little to do with apples and even less to do with pines. If one looks at a box of juice, one can easily comprehend why it is difficult for foreigners to understand English speakers and vice versa in philosophical discussions on this topic, as most modern world languages use the word ananas rather than whatever else one could call this fruit. The only widely known language that plays this tug of war on the side of the English speakers is Spanish with the term "piña," though it isn't too reliable of an ally as many Spanish speakers also recognise the words "ananá" and "ananás." It suffices to say that the word ananas has nothing to lose but its chains. It has a world to win.

ANANASES OF THE WORLD UNITE!

Batrachophrench

Batrachophrench: adjective. On the 24th of June, 1996 the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language combined the two words French and batrachophagous into one word batrachophrench, so as to eliminate confusion between the two. The main reason for this was that the two words mean literally the same thing, where French refers to a person from France and batrachophagous refers to something feeding on frogs.

Punchkin

Punchkin: noun. There are several possible definitions for the word punchkin. The most popular ones are the following:
1. The act of punching a relative.
2. A splattered pumpkin.
3. A violent munchkin.
There is even a festival in Riga called the Punchkinfest, which comes to a climax when people take out their hammers (some even bring sledgehammers) and start liquidating the pumpkins of the opposing team. Needless to say, many foreign observes have commented that this festival not only leads to the second definition listed above, but also quite frequently to the first and sometimes even to the third (munchkins get very angry when someone splatters their pumpkin house). 

Autohanosiography

Autohanosiographer: noun. One who writes about their own life in a demeaning, degrading and humiliating manner. The word is derived from the Greek word anosios meaning "unholy" and has been used to describe people who lessen their own accomplishments and achievements in their writing. This includes for example the famous novelist George Orwell, who in his autobiography 1984 claimed that he hadn't taken over the entire world, but only about one third. This is an excellent example of autohanosiography in the literary genre.

Portato

Portato: noun. A mysterious opening - some would even say gateway - that is said to be found in potatoes. According to the legends, portatoes lead to another dimension where potatoes rule the world and eat humans in the forms we usually eat potatoes in - mashed, fried, baked, sliced and so on. They even have their own shops where they sell human crisps and fast food restaurants that serve bucketfulls of human chips. It must be said though that just as is the case with the wardrobe leading to Narnia, one cannot simply try to squeeze oneself through a portato upon finding one, as it would most probably just splatter the potato. The people who successfully entered the potato dimension were those who unintentionally stuffed themselves into the potato while trying to eat it.

Antimemorial

Antimemorial: noun. A fancy construction designed in order to make people forget about a certain person or event. These constructions are usually deemed quite ineffective; for example the antimemorial to Guy Fawkes in the vicinity of the British parliament has become so counterproductive that the government decided to rename it to a memorial and hope nobody would notice.

Fragment 14:

"So what you're saying is" Herb said, "that instead of selling the waterman by himself, you are going to sell him in a den because that way you can mark him up more..."
"pulsh it!" Christina exclaimed in whisper; she wasn't quite sure whether to lament Herb's stupidity or to rejoice in the fact that he finally understood.
"So you are now going to buy a den to be able to stick a waterman inside it?"
"No!" Christina exclaimed emphatically "No, no, no! It just so happens that I am a pairess of such den (my dear friend Barry the Badger deceased a week ago) along with my dear cousin, whom I have gotten rid of to be able to claim the inheritance by myself."
"Gotten rid of?"
"Well she was getting on my nerves with all of her constant chicketting"
"Your cousin is a chicken?"
"I was being FIGURATIVE!"
"So what you are really saying is that you killed your cousin, want to dress me up as a badger and put yourself through the danger of being obliterated by the hambourgeoisie all because you want to sell the den of a dead badger with a waterman inside of it."
"Who will be marked up through the process."
"Good Lord!" 

Ananopisthographic

Ananopisthographic: adjective. Describing something which has writing on only one half of one side of a page. This can for example be used to describe the final pages of chapters in books, where the chapter ends on the first half of a page, but the chapter following the aforementioned chapter doesn't begin until the next sheet of paper in the book. In essence the entire previous sentence could be rewritten as "The chapter ended ananopisthographically."

Legato

Legato: noun. A posh term for hitting someone over the head with a leg. This leg must, of course, be isolated from the body, as the opposite would simply be termed kicking (or, in the case that the leg was used by someone else, involuntary kicking). A legato can also be conducted with a fake leg, whether it happens to be made of plastic, wood or some synthetic material. In most countries, a legato is regarded as a violent crime equatable to punching or kicking; however, in Italy, legatos are promoted by the government as a form of cultural heritage.

Agelast

Agelast: noun. Although this word is commonly used to describe someone who never laughs, it also has a secondary and unfortunately much less popular meaning, which means a period of time, which is taking an unusually long time to pass. Obviously this is all relative, since time doesn't have a speed, well it does, but you know what I mean! It's interesting, because obviously this meaning has a lot more sense and can be derived from the structure of the word, but nevertheless the definition for non-laughing person is much more commonly used. The meaning we prioritise as a blog would be used for example in the following sentence: "My God this class is such an agelast."

Sickophant

Sickophant: noun. An ill, wheezing elephant that finds it hard to talk without sounding like a broken vacuum cleaner. It is a sad fact of life that many people confuse sickophants with sicko-phants - elephants with slightly perverted tendencies. Another sad fact of life is that these people also tend to confuse the two terms with the word sickopants, a person whose trousers and underwear suffer from severe leprosy and fall off at the most inconvenient moments.

Socvusopothia

Socvusopothia: noun. An incestuous desire for one's mother-in-law. This word is derived from the Latin words socvusus for mother-in-law and pothos meaning desire. If one combines this theory that mother-in-law is an anagram for "woman Hitler" then the word itself could be interpreted as an incestuous desire for a female version of Hitler and suddenly the word seems quite logical and easily comprehensible.

Bantur

Bantur: noun. A series of uncomprehensible sounds, known to some as "weird Swahili babble," that can be encountered while visiting many parts of Sub-Saharan Africa. The obvious conjecture that many people would make here is that Bantur is simply language used by locals that others do not understand. This, however, is a very faulty conjecture indeed, as bantur is most commonly recorded in connection to tourists who think they can speak the local tongue but end up babbling in a way that no one (not even themselves) knows what they are trying to say, let alone what they are actually saying.

Orbituary

Orbituary: noun. A document of one's death launched into space and attracted by the gravitational pull of an object that has a greater mass than itself. To be a proper orbituary, it has to be attracted to the extent that it begins revolving around the object without crashing into it or being released. A good orbituary goes in circles rather than squares, triangles or dodecahedrons. This circular motion is also preferable over an elliptical one simply because the universe favours symmetry. 

Fragment 13:

"You do realise, Christina, that what you're saying is completely ingermane, right?" Herb said, "After all, you yourself must know that denmarkets are reserved for selling dens and not for getting rid of fossilised watermen."
"Herb, how can you be so Jarjarian?" Christina sighed, "Of course I am perfectly aware of this and I am going to use it to my benefit."
Herb looked at her with an expression of an empty walletta.
"Herb, you obtuse orckid! I want to sell the waterman as a piece of FURNITURE!"
"Oh, well you could have just said that without unintelligibalising everything! Plus, the plan is stupid. Why don't you just sell it normally?"
"You really are having a slow day, aren't you? Alright, let me explain. If I sold the waterman by himself, I would not be able to mark the price up by much now, would I? But if I sold him as a prop in a den, I could mark him up by perhaps even double the price. Get it?"
"That's just stupid."
"No, you're just stupid and you're jealous of my financial understanding prowess." 

Maccubation

Maccubation: noun. The practice of eating or drinking McDonald's while lying down. As everyone knows accubation was the practice conducted by the Romans of feasting while reclining in a leisurely posture. This concept was then updated in the late 1990's by a Mr Ronald M. to suit the modern generation, while preserving an important part of the antiquity. Maccubation has been considered dangerous by some people due to an increased risk of choking, but those people have never had a Big Mac on a waterbed.

Gloggles

Gloggles: noun. Goggles that glow in the dark. Invented in the 1980´s to help old aardvarks in Prague zoo to see at night, gloggles soon went down the toilet of history, as their usefulness began to be disputed immediately after one of the gloggle possessing aardvarks spent a whole week walking against the glass of his aardvarkium and another mysteriously disappeared. It wasn´t until the beginning of the twenty first century when some smart cookies realised that perhaps gloggles could also be worn by humans. The very first one who tried though, a Dutch cyclist living in Bohemia, fell into a river and choked on a trout after only two minutes of using them.

Abecederian

Abecederian: noun. A person who is learning to alphabet soup. One might think that this is the same as the commonly used word abecedarian, which refers to a person who is learning the alphabet. However an attentive person with the use of a magnifying glass may notice that there is a difference in the one, two, third! vowel of the word and the meaning is also distinctly different. A person learning to alphabet soup, or an abecederian (that's the whole point of this blog), is generally between the ages of 3 and 72 and may come from anywhere between Topeka and the small town of Tokyo, Japan.

Aardvarkium

Aardvarkium: noun. A container for aardvarks usually made of glass. While this container may be a temporary "house" to the aardvarks in times when their transportation is necessary, it is more often than not their permanent settlement in the same way that an aquarium is a permanent settlement to fish. A well known example of an aardvarkium is that of the Prague zoo, known mostly because of the fact that many dispute its claim to being a true aardvarkium.

Plossible

Plossible: adjective. Describing something which is so possible it's plausible or something which is so plausible it's possible. It's quite plossible that the word plossible is used every day at least twice in a regular plossible conversation, which is held by people who's existence is quite plossible. Of course one could get quite existential and suggest that their existence isn't plossible, because the likelihood of our existence in this perfect living environment in this perfect spot in the universe is so unlikely, that it's statistically more plossible that we're all just a figment of someone's imagination. We sincerely hope that has improved your day.

Dangleface

Dangleface: noun. Dangleface is a very offensive insult (or an insulting offence if you will) that is used to humiliate old people, fat people, people with stretchy skin and certain types of goats. Certainly, dangleface is a quite logical insult to the afore mentioned types of humans but less so to the goats. While some goats may have dangly faces, not many goats do, which is why some linguists have conjectured that the term dangleface was extended to goats because of the wattles that are present in some of their species. This explanation has its flaws though, especially considering that though wattles do dangle, they do not grow on the face but on the neck. Another issue that others have taken with this theory is that it does not explain why this insult has never been applied to other animals possessing wattles such as chicken, cassowaries and Lithuanian pigs. 

Arbotrary

Arbotrary: adjective. An adjective describing the completely random placement of trees, bushes and hedges. While a rich, aristocratic family would never want its garden to be described as arbotrary, a good mathematician or theoretical physicist will always appreciate something that comes close to perfect arbotrariness. This theory, of course, assumes that aristicrats will not become mathematicians or theoretical physicists, which is seldom untrue. When this, however, does happen, it depends on how nartured the individual is and which way, therefore, he or she will lean. More often than not, an aristocratic mathematician or physicist simply becomes insane trying to find a balance between randomness and aesthetics, not realising that sometimes, the most random thing can also be the most beautiful. The moral of this story is: love the platypus.

Fragment 12:

"Well in any case," Herb said, "considering how much you value my opinion Christina, I don't think my expertise is necessary."
"Neither do I," she replied, "but I haven't come to you for an opinion. You see, I know you are quite a kraine who thinks that saying minsk while slurping down a bowl of spaghetti makes the action itself very posh-"
Herb wanted to speak - he couldn't just let Christina lat his reputation - but he wasn't allowed, for Christina kept on talking of things that appeared quite ingermane to him.
"But I need your help with getting rid of it."
"The waterman?"
Christina nodded, "Yes, Herb. I was thinking. You yourself look quite badger-like and I need to dispose of this - after all, it is very expensive and I'd never forgive myself if something happened to it. Anyway, we put both of these things in the equation and it's obvious: I need you to infiltrate the denmarket and sell it there.

Lauream

Lauream: noun. A mass honouring a person with an award for outstanding creative or intellectual achievement. Laureams can only be organised and conducted by the Pope or the Pope Emeritus. In fact this is the only thing of virtually any value that a Pope Emeritus can do, giving at least some substantiality to otherwise an entirely meaningless title. Interestingly Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has not taken advantage of this and remains an entirely powerless figure of politics...I mean honourable and distinguished in retirement. The last lauream was conducted by Pope John Paul I in the 26 days he reigned as pope. There are various conspiracy theories that he was killed because he refused to provide a lauream for the great Emma Bunton, distinguished singer of the renowned group known as "Spice Girls".

Pennyy

Pennyy: adjective. Something that resembles a penny. While the definition is easy enough to understand, the pronunciation is less so. Some people stress the last vowel, some people simply make it longer and some don't pronounce it at all, claiming that the two ys cancel each other out. This, however, is only a small sample. Other pronunciations include the following: "peeny," "pinny," "pennnyyy," "pinyin" and "pe'y."

Transjacketite

Transjacketite: noun. A person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from not dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex. One might think that most of society is a transjacketite, but that is not necessarily true and one might be surprised just how many people there are in the world, who do not like to wear clothes at all. Transjacketism was founded in 1874 by the reigning monarch of the British Empire, who was displeased an annoyed at the emerging trend of people running around Buckingham Palace stark naked. The policy was rejected by the royal family, when Queen Elizabeth married Prince Philip, but by then it had become a very popular trend. In fact transjacketites made their movement an official religion in 1995, and became famous as the worshipers of "The Great and Powerful Overlord Cardigan".

Spongekin

Spongekin: noun. Spongekin is used to denote several objects:
1. Something similar to a sponge.
2. A sponge-like pumpkin.
3. Spongebob's extended family.
4. A cool rapper name - book it before someone else does!

Verbial

Verbial: adjective. Something relating to a verb in the present tense, third person, singular, nominative case. One may think that this is very specific, but actually a study conducted by the University of Sumatra showed that this is in fact the second most popular form of nouns in the English language. It is only preceded by the present tense, first person, singular, nominative, which suggests just how self-centred humans are, just saying you know...Verbial is most commonly used amongst verbologists who themselves are most commonly found on a peninsula of Svalbard, where they have been banished to by "regular" people for being, and I quote, "obnoxious, unbearable, annoying and just huge pains in the f****** ars*.

Grrreat

Grrreat: adjective and verb. There are two possible definitions for the word and depending on which one it is one wants to use, the pronunciation changes.
1. The adjective (yes, the one that may have been INCORRECTLY used on the cereal box) is read as "great" with a long "r." Contrary to popular belief, it is not simply a synonym for the word great; it is a word that denotes food liked by tigers, i.e. meat and stuff (someone should really conduct an experiment to see whether tigers actually like cereal).
2. As a verb, the word is read as "grrr, eat!" and is often used by tiger mothers to force their offspring to eat.

Redundonym

Redundonym: noun. The word made up by one to convey a concept that already has a word. An example is: "unsmart" instead of "unintelligent". These stop being redundonyms and simply become synonyms for a word if they are recognized by language authorities such as this blog. This recognition doesn't necessarily have to be admitted by the official, but if you claim your word is a synonym rather than a mere redundonym and the official has not recognized it; the others will never believe you.

Fragment 11:

Or so he thought; but as Christina kept talking Herb found himself perfectly capable of believing these theories, partially because his moronometer was not showing any appreciable readings above background stupidity, however he chose not to. Adding to her theories Christina revealed that the waterman statue was newly frenchised, claiming it was necessary, and claimed that it was, in fact, not a statue; instead it was a real, fossilized waterman. Herb insisted that Christina tell him what she was planning, she replied sarcastically "To make longer lasting gum", they stared at each other for a while as Herb's patience with her sophisticity decreased in idiomatic size before Christina spoke again. She spoke as if Herb was the world's most idiomatically large nerb, "To break the loop of course!" As if she was somehow aware of the sentence that was later used to describe her actions in this blog, she proceeded to taunt Herb for being such a nerb. Herb was wandering why the waterman's frenchising was necessary, but didn't ask out of fear that Christina would say he was incredibly jarjarian.

Pulsh

Pulsh: noun. A pulsh, derived from the words "push" and "pull" is a person who doesn´t quite know what he or she wants - one could say that a pulsh is someone somewhat wishy-washy. From this noun, we can also derive the verb pulsh, the interjection pulsh, the conjunction pulsh and the adjective pulshy. The first of these obviously denotes the active participation in a state of ambivalence, while the fourth is quite logically used to denote a pulsh. The third, given the meaning of the word, is a conjunctive form that can really be used instead of any other conjunction, whether that is "and," "with," "however" or "or." And obviously, the second is simply used as a whispered exclamation of confusion, which many people couple with the word "it," producing the euphonically euphemistic exclamation of "pulsh it!"

Unfamous

Unfamous: adjective. As opposed to "famous" and "infamous," as the name indicates, unfamous is anything but famous. Despite the fact that this word exists, many prefer to incorrectly use the word "infamous" (something that is famous for bad reasons) to express the meaning of the word unfamous. The ignorance of these people is truly astounding, which is why our bloggers recommend them to write down at least ten times daily the following sentences:

"Infamous does not mean not famous. It means famous for bad things. The word I wish to use is unfamous. I pledge my allegiance to unfamousness."

As a side note, no one actually knows how to pronounce the word unfamous. Some prefer to say the "famous" part in it as it would be read alone by itself, while others prefer to read it like they would read "infamous," just with a "u" instead of an "i." It may be because of this dilemma that not many people use it.

Crishpy

Crishpy: adjective. The word crishpy is a good example of an untraditional adjectival onomatopoeia. As opposed to many words, crishpy actually sounds like what it means - the very opposite of crispy. According to a crisp (or chip if you are anything but British) expert we consulted, crishpy is the label for a disgustingly, moist, old and soggy crisp that makes the sound "kplshhhh" when you bite it, rather than what a crisp is really supposed to sound like: "crunch." 

Punderful

Punderful: adjective. ERMERGERD!!! Puns are great!!! Life is punderful, everything is punderful! Do you want to hear something punderful? Alright:

Why is there a dead cat on Mars?
Curiosity killed it.

Fleight

Fleight: noun. Goods transported by aircraft, helicopter, zeppelin or hot air balloon. Most cargo which was transported between continents in the 19th century was fleight, since teleportation hadn't been invented at that point in history yet. There were major companies created around fleight amongst them Airgo and Go-go-cargo. It was also a major source of income for various empires because they could impose heavy taxes on fleight. In fact profits made from taxes on fleight were so great that they practically fuelled the German empire into the First World War and the appealing chances being presented attracted all the intelligent and brilliant scientists, who were vital to Germany in World War II. In fact it were these reasons, amongst others, that the world-famous book "How fleight started the Second World War..." was written about and because of.

Punny

Punny: adjective. This word has two commonly accepted definitions which most people don't realise, often mixing them up willy nilly:
1. The quality of being a pun.
2. The quality of being like a pun.
Clearly, there is a major difference between these two meanings and people should be more careful and discriminate in their usage of the word so as to not offend anyone.

Catcher

Catcher: noun. An alternate word for a container, which collects a liquid that has been poured from a pitcher. This word is most commonly used in US English and has entered the colloquial language there. One must be very careful not to use the word with someone of not US origin, because that will most definitely leave them confused and in many cases also very angry. The word was initially used by Mark Twain in his essay called "Why I Hate Baseball", where he generally ranted about tupperware and cutlery, while making loose metaphors, similes, analogies and synecdoches to the sport mentioned in the title.

Fragment 10:

Herb was indeed delighted to see his Christina again and offered here some cauliraddish as a welcome. Unfortunately Herb wasn't aware that Christina was allergic to cauliraddishes and that this allergy has lead to her being imprisoned 35 years ago in a time-locked trans-dimensional prison operated entirely by sentient tissue boxes. This meant that Herb's offering was received with a harsh dose of starcasm and didn't improve the strained relationship between the friends. Christina wanted to get away from Herb as soon as possible (that wouldn't work out very well for her, but Christina didn't know that yet) and so she got to the point. Christina had come because she needed his help. She required his expert opinion on this, she said as she took out a faded statue of waterman from what appeared to be 3 millenia ago. At that moment Herb's hopefullessness was indeed very high. He had hoped that Christina's arrival would mean a calmer day, but instead she seemed to have gotten herself involved in the crazy theories, which claim that the entire existence only lasts a year before repeating. Herb did have some sempathy for the people with such theories, his life did indeed at times seem monotonous and repetitive, but he couldn't possibly believe their ludicrous theories.

Sniffogram

Sniffogram: noun. A report on the various smells and sniffs that can be found in a specific area. Sniffograms are the foundations for the science of odourology and reading them has become a complex and precise art form. They have been described as a cross between a bar chart and a pie chart. All sniffograms must have at least 17 different colours represented as well as using all the letter of the alphabet. Anything that does not fulfil these requirements cannot be considered a sniffogram but is merely a "report on smells". The first sniffogram was created by Sir Humphry Davy in 1812 who used them in his efforts to determine the chemical nature of chlorine, nowadays known for its distinct smell.

Plectrumiscuous

Plectrumiscuous: adjective. The quality of being very selective in choosing things. Not to be confused with the word petrimiscuous, the quality of being sexually attracted to rocks and having statues for partners. A predecessor to the now more popular synonym "picky," which was regarded as a slang while its counterpart was the commonly accepted form, plectrumiscuous is still used amongst musicians as a clever pun, though little recognised elsewhere. A less common definition for the word plectrumiscuous is simply "something that resembles a plectrum," which is not half as exciting or a good pun either.   

Diaryah

Diaryah: interjection. The sound produced by a person when he discovers his diary after arduous searching. The word was first used in literature in 1678 by John Bunyan in his infamous novel "The Pilgrim's Progress". The word was used by the major character after discovering his cheese and milk in a pantry, it was apparently a typo. Oxford scientists have warned that the word should not be confused with diarrhoea, as that could have disastrous consequences for diaries worldwide.

Buarn

Buarn: noun. A burnt down barn. It could be burnt with or without cattle, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. As the grand Sophist philosophers say: "The world's a buarn and all the men and women merely burnt cattle."

Penpen

Penpen: noun. Something which is almost a pen. In the production in the writing utensils known as pens, the stage in the middle of the process is known as the stage of penpens. Essentially this means that the pen has almost been completed, however it is still incomplete and therefore cannot be officially called a pen. Similarly this word can also be used to describe things, which resemble a pen very closely, but in fact aren't pens. For example a pencil could be called a penpen since it is very similar however it is not the same as a pen.

Lishp

Lishp: noun. A lishp is a quite uncommon speech impediment that manifests itself in a manner almost exactly opposite to a lisp. While a person with a lisp usually can´t make the sounds "s" and "z," a person with a lishp can´t make the sounds "sh" and "zh" (as heard in the words "ship" and "courgette"). A possible cause of this impediment is the lack of a tongue, teeth or mouth, but also the inability to raise the front of one´s tongue to alter the way air exits the mouth. It has been proposed on several occasions that the words lishp and lisp should switch their meanings in order to make them pronounceable by the people who possess them, but these plans have been sabotaged every single time by some inhumane monsters that are evidently amused by scenes where people with lishps and lisps try to explain their diagnoses to others and fail every single time as they are confused for their lisp or lishp possessing counterparts.

Archfriend

Archfriend: noun. In effect, the word archfriend is quite similar to archfoe but completely different. One would probably expect that an archfriend is a very good friend in the same way that an archfoe is a very bad enemy... and one would be absolutely right. Now go on; we know you want to: go and give your archfriend a big hug! And, if you´re a Christian, go and hug your Archfoe too (careful, they may bite).

Fragment 9:

Herb cautiously opened the door, but to his big surprise, his visitor was neither a member of the hambourgeoisie nor Albert, but his old archfriend Christina (please don´t ask how the best friend of a man can be a woman. Our blog-writers are very tolerant of all people groups no matter how strange they may seem to you... well alright, maybe not of Mormons, Calvinists and the North Korean Kim family, but other than that, you could be a hippie gay pink bunny transvestite and we couldn´t care less. Although personally, I´ve never seen a pink bunny so maybe I would care a little... but definitely not because of its habits or its sexual orientation, just its fur colour, which isn´t to say that I´m racist, but just inerested. In a purely scientific fashion that is - just genuinely interested in seeing a pink bunny. Not that there´s anything wrong with pink bunnies - I´d be equally happy to see a yellow, green or red bunny. Although I think there is a breed of bunnies quite close to yellow so maybe I´d be interested more in seeing a pink one after all... but not because yellow isn´t good! Cheetahs are sort of yellow (and black, white and African) and I still love them. The point though, is that the only reason I would be interested in seeing a hippie gay pink bunny transvestite is because it´s pink and not the traditional black, white or brown, which isn´t bad, just not as atypical and and and... come on!!! Wouldn´t you like to see a pink bunny if you had the chance???) Anyway, at seeing Christina, Herb was delighted. He hadn´t seen his ardwolfatic friend for a very long time - in fact, he could remember exactly the last time he saw her on the 25th of August. She was preparing a babyloam for her garden, although personally, Herb found the mixture far too battery to make proper babyloam. Quite foolishly, he decided to speak his mind about that to her and was promptly outvited, after which he spent a year on snuffins trying to eat his way out of his human miserability.

Slikely

Slikely: adverb. Slightly likely. In statistics slikely is an official term which is used to denote something that has a probability between 50% and 52% of happening. Clearly this is a very narrow range and therefore not many things can be considered slikely. For example the chance of rain on the 25th of March 1993 could be considered slikely, as well as the probability that a koala will fall on an innocent tourist's head has also been calculated to be slikely. The branch of mathematics known as absulutism, not to be confused with absolutism, believes that slikely should be removed from statistics, as well as all other terms for probability, except for certain and impossible, since absulutists believe that everything in the universe is either certain or impossible.

Idleatry

Idleatry: noun. The undue praise or downright sacrilegious worship of laziness that is often associated with Hedonism and sometimes with Epicureanism. According to a Catholic Church official whom our bloggers have unofficially interviewed, Idleatry is viewed by Rome as something even worse than the seven cardinal sins: a cardinally sinful ideology. It is because while laziness (or, as the terminology goes, sloth) is a single offense that may but does not have to have lasting effects, Idleatry (as a style of life) encourages the repetition of this deadly sin and therefore leads to eternity in Hell in an estimated eight and a half out of ten times.

Additction

Additction: noun. An addiction to addition. This is a very common ailment that befalls mathematicians, both professional and amateur practicians of mathematics. Common symptoms consist of an obsessive need to add together things which are completely unrelated and where the result is of absolutely no use whatsoever. An example of this is for example adding up the number of ducks in a pond along with the number of blades of grass next to the pond. There is a famous case from the British Isles where the Professor of Mathematics of Birmingham University died of additction while attempting to add the number of leaves on a tree together with the number of hairs on a death-metal fan's head.

Redundandundandundandundancy

Redundandundandundandundancy:::::::: noun, that is to say, the word of today´s post is a noun - the noun being the word that the noun is and the word that the noun is being a noun too. Redundandundandundandundancy is the state, the form and the shape - that is to say, the ultimate being - of something, that thing being an object or some sort of either concrete or abstract thing, that is, in some peculiar way or another, rather and quite redundant, superfluous, unnecessary or long-winded. It, the it referring to the word redundandundandundandundancy, of course, is different, or rather variating, from the word redundancy simply in magnitude, that is to say, in the power of the word, the post of today referring to the largest and strongest form of the word redundancy. Simply and uncomplicatedly put, something that is redundant can, but does not have to be redundandundandundandundant, while something that is redundandundandundandundant has to also be redundant in the same way that a red dress may be the reddest dress but does not have to be, while the reddest dress must be red at all occasions. That, and just that with nothing less and nothing more, is the definition, that is to say, the meaning, of the word redundandundandundandundancy.    

Stormage

Stormage: noun. A type of storage which is resistant to storms, but also inclined towards leaking. Whether this means that the contents of a stormage must be liquid or not is uncertain. One might think that the definition of a stormage is contradictory, however the leaks that occur with stormages cannot be considered storms, so all is fine. Stormage is most commonly used by the United States Statistics Bureau, which uses the handy feature of stormage, since all the data that doesn't fit the trends and can't be used for correlations simply leaks out.

Battery

Battery: adjective. Something that has the qualities of batter. While seldom heard in this context, the word battery was very frequently used in Britain during the Second World War, when resources were scarce and the writers of cookbooks decided that instead of advising housewives to make proper batter, they should just instruct them on how to make things battery - with similar qualities to standard batter, but more accessible.

Ardwolfatic

Ardwolfatic: adjective. The property of being unlike an aardwolf. A completely ardwolfatic creature would be large, macro-herbivorous, cold blooded and aquatic among other properties that are not shared by an aardwolf. This word was found carved in stone tablets in South Africa, it seems aardwolves were the only animals that the tribe had a name for, and to describe other animals they needed to describe how it was unlike the aardwolf. Many have tried to create the ardwolf, a perfectly ardwolfatic creature but have failed due to the fact that they always seem to be missing something, there are also issues concerning the definition of "creature" and whether by simply being alive the ardwolf would be aardwolfatic.

Fragment 8:

Herb decided that he should improve his new device to account for him being a nerb, but first he should get the lunch he had been planning to have for so long. He opened the fridge and made himself a dirtwich from the verdurating materials in his refrigerator. While none of this would act on his thurst, his hunger was made significantly satisfieder after the meal. He was startled when he heard a knocking at the door, he was sure it wasn't Albert but had some fear that it may be yet another group of Hambourgeoisies having heard of the group he encountered earlier.

Extream

Extream: noun. A team which has reached a high or the highest degree. In sports and especially in sports reporting and sports journalism, the term extream is used to identify teams, which are currently on top of the rankings or leading the season/league. The term was first coined by legendary sports commentator John Motson after he misspoke while commentating a football match and instead of correcting his mistake decide to play along and coin the term. The term became so popular that in the 1980's it was the fourth most popular word in a man's vocabulary, right after "beer", "damn" and "what". To this day it remains the most popular word spoken in a football stadium.

Sayn't

Sayn't: verb. sayn't is a classical example of a seldom used abbreviation of two words. This category of words also happens to include comen't, amn't and willn't (which was, for some reason, ousted from common use by the completely illogical "won't"). There isn't really much else to say about the word sayn't except for the fact that it is composed of the words "say" and "not" - we hope you realised this before...

Frenchise

Frenchise: noun. An authorisation granted by France to an individual or group, enabling them to carry out specified commercial activities, as well as the right to vote in French elections. Frenchises are some of the most sought-after commodities in France and their price on the black market can soar up as high as being worth 312 baguettes. Since 2005 an official frenchise from the French government has been extremely hard to get, since the country placed specific and severe restrictions on the process, which determines if a person is eligible for a frenchise. The process involves several arduous challenges, mazes, logical puzzles, a fight to the death against the minotaur of the Parisian catacombs and cleaning up Augean stables.

Exexistence

Exexistence: noun. The state of being permanently wiped from existence. Some philosophers believing in the immortality of the soul have argued that exexistence is impossible, while a few others believe that exexistence is the only logical effect of death. In the material world, exexistence can be used on several different levels. The first of these is when a compound changes form to such extent that it can no longer be called by its previous name, such as when a table burns - it is no longer a table but a pile of ashes and that what had previously been a table is now in exexistence. The second of these is when matter itself ceases to exist by being converted into energy. The third, and largely hypothetical, use of the word exexistence is when matter or energy ceases to exist entirely - a phenomenon that goes contrary to the laws of thermodynamics but is nevertheless theorised by physicists who have almost entirely stopped living in the real world and return from their sphere of numbers and irrational rationality (or was it rational irrationality?) for breakfast, lunch, dinner and an occasional bath.

Marineate

Marineate: verb. To become or make something/someone into a marine, or a marine creature. This does not mean that if you throw a cow into the ocean, that is marineating. However if you attach gills to the cow and then throw it into the ocean, then that is marineating. The process of making a person a marine is actually extraordinarily complicated as it requires not only drafting by a proper military officer, but also arduous exercise, an extensive portfolio, an excellent knowledge of knots and an innate ability to recognise individual seagulls. A popular example of someone marineating comes from Finland, which in an attempt to make pork their most popular export marineated 54,000 pigs and dumped them into the North Sea. Let's just say that the Sea Cucumbers were more effective at existing underwater.

Babyloam

Babyloam: Babyloam is a type of very fertile soil with a good proportion of sand, clay, silt and biotic materials obtained from babies. A normal loam can be simply turned into babyloam by adding babies to it (whether alive or dead should not matter, as if they are alive, they will fertilise by defecating and if they are dead, they will simply decompose). It is, however, far easier to purchase babyloam from the black market than to make it manually, as the former is not illegal. It is an interesting fact that babyloams are, at least according to an American poll conducted last week, most frequently made after long car rides and plane flights. One can only wonder why.

Scrab

Scrab: noun. A hard coating on skin formed during the healing procedure after a wound, which is made of paper (not the wound, the coating). The biology and physiology of scrabs is really quite complicated, as it involves the pancreas, pastellets (as opposed to platelets) and in some cases the human is required to have an entire separate organ to produce scrabs. This organ is generally known as a papier bladder and is found between the heart and the superior vena cava. Scrabs are notorious for taking a long time to disappear, the only sure way of getting rid of them involves a certain type of bacteria, which grows in Mangrove forests and can lead to an infection of the wound, if applied improperly.

Fragment 7:

Jumping out the window, Herb landed on a carfield, which was surprisingly but understandably painful. Herb spent some time narturing his wound, hoping it wouldn't develop a scrab. Running along the street, Herb passed several people offering him snuffins. Herb ran hope as fast his puny little legs could carry him, slammed through the door and locked all 65 bolts after him. He was happy to find that everything in his house was quite normal, including the incessant chicketting from Bob, his pet chicken.

Imfusion

Imfusion: noun. The removal of an element or quality from something, as well as a drink prepared by the grounding of the leaves of a plant or herb into a liquid. The process of imfusion is very popular and important in the petrochemical industry, where something happens with oleum or something and then something else and you know...The liquid imfusion is very popular in a certain part of Cambodia, where the entire local culture is based on the process of destruction, which is why imfusion is the perfect drink for the people.

Malsai

Malsai: noun. A quite ugly looking miniature tree fashioned in a Japanese manner or at least slightly resembling it. A malsai used to be the traditional counterpart to a bonsai; bonsai obviously being the pretty tree, malsai the ugly one and nonchasai something in the middle. However, after Japan´s Meiji Reforms and its opening up to the West, its industry and economy was strengthened to such an extent that it was no longer profitable to make pots for malsais and nonchasais and so they were quickly disposed of in the process of their making. This eventually led to these words being completely eliminated from the vocabulary of ordinary humans and the tradition was only kept alive by the efforts of Japan´s traditional bonsai-producing families such as the Kaba from Osaka, the Yanagi from Honshu and the Unmei-no-ki from Hokkaido. It is also worth mentioning that some linguists have put forward the idea that malsais should be renamed to mauvaisais, but these propositions were rejected for their obvious attempts at surreptitiously establishing French cultural dominance over the bonsai industry.

Flinsult

Flinsult: noun. A flattering insult. This is a common form of pleasantry exchanged in arguments with a mortal-enemy or a very good friend. The Oxford Dictionary of Conversational Etiquette states that "a flinsult can only be used when at least 3 other people are present in the room along with the speaker, it isn't snowing outside and no werewolves have been spotted in the last month." However these rules are often disobeyed, as can be seen from the case reported in Romania, where two werewolves threw flinsults at each other alone in a forest in the middle of winter. A statistician from the University of Botswana reported that a flinsult is the highest form of wit and anyone capable of using it must be an intellectual equal to at least Galileo.

Pole

Pole: verb. To pole is to slowly and surreptitiously occupy an area by moving up poles that mark the end of one's property and the beginning of another's. This occurrence was obviously begun in Poland, where neighbours would compete against each other in this odd sport, eventually taking over each other's houses by sticking poles inside and moving them along the floor without anyone noticing. Some historians suspect that the reason why Poland is so oddly giant for a country of less than forty million is exactly large-scale poling, in which territory is not only expanded by moving poles and changing signs, but also by building settlements on wheels that are slowly moved in the general direction of expansion. According to the Polish government, the practice was outlawed in 1989, but some suspect that it is still happening, especially considering the strangely incongruous amount of Polish people on the British isles.

Presalent

Presalent: adjective. This word has two distinct, which will be briefly summarised now:

1. Describing something, where presents are the prevalent object. This is especially true of the rooms of people under 18, old-people homes, homeless shelters and the homes of upper-class citizens of Miami Beach at Christmas. A word used very often in National Geographic, an infographic published by National Geographic in June 2004, showed that the word is used as often in National Geographic as the word "truth".
2. Describing something which is prevalent in the present but is subject to change very soon. A common example given to students of Orthography and Ornithology is snow in late March, it's prevalent now, but by tomorrow it's going to probably be slush.

Vakuum

Vakuum: noun. A place devoid of the letter K, such as not Slovakia or car park. It is, however, quite difficult to find a place devoid of the letter K entirely, for example, China is an almost complete vakuum, though there tend to be some rare occurrences of the letter in fast food restaurants, such as KFCs which are almost like oases in an otherwise K-less place.  

Pung

Pung: noun. A pung is a truly and utterly terrible pun that on a scale from one to ten goes into negative numbers. The first recorded occurrence of the word was in a Budapest journal commenting on a show of a certain British comedian who came to the capital in 1992, his opening line for the night of pung being: "I was talking to a friend recently and 'e asked me where I was going for the 'olidays. I told 'im 'ungary. And 'e said: 'wut, you 'ung Garry?'" The only audible response the comedian received for the whole night came from a small child that broke out crying once it realised that its parents had abandoned it in an almost empty hall with the comedian and a newsreporter from the aforementioned journal (this newsreporter was the only person who remained by the time the first fifteen minutes passed, as the child then proceeded to run away screaming).

Fragment 6:

It must have been at least fifteen minutes that Herb, Albert and the hidden Draculaic hummbug spent hidden from the hambourgeoisie. The time they spent waiting was used by Albert to make some unintelligible pungs (or at least that is what Herb presumed they were meant to be after hearing the one about the mlmth that mlmlmlmuuum the mmmmnnn to mnmumnmn). However, after some time passed and Albert's allergic reaction subsided, Herb realised that the pungs he was laughing at out of kindness weren't in fact stupid puns, but Albert admitting to his thesbianity, which made Herb feel slightly ashamed - not because of his own laughter at this profound moment of self-revelation, but rather because he felt ashamed for Albert who evidently didn't realise that his partiality towards chicken would only make him a thesbian if he were an actor. As the case stood, Herb decided that he would leave Albert behind, as he himself had a pet chicken at home and being around Albert made him feel a bit awkward. With a swift movement, he jumped through the first floor window of the rather forty building and ran for his life. 

Greta

Greta: adjective. A euphemism for the word great. In some cultures it has supplanted the common word "great" and is used on a daily basis by the entire population of the culture. Commonly thought to be a simple misspelling there are many conspiracies surrounding this seemingly innocent mistake. Since the authors of this blog value their lives, they will not delve into these conspiracies and instead here is an interesting fact about slugs: Only 5% of the slug population is above ground at any one time. The other 95% is underground digesting your seedlings, laying eggs, and feeding on roots and seed sprouts.

Slove

Slove: noun. A slove is, quite conventionally put, a slave to love - a person who cannot imagine life without being constantly infatuated with romance. However, the former meaning of the word was far more prosaic. Up until the 1980s, a slove was simply a slowly working stove - something that, however, became so rare by the end of the decade that in order to save the word, the MREL decided to change its meaning to make it suitable for more widespread use. This change was very welcome by a nation up in the Balkans that was for a long time unsure what to call itself. It just so happened that the recent change of the word's meaning made the Yugoslavian headlines and a new nation was born - Slovenia, the land of the sloves (it seems that they must have misinterpreted the word, thinking of it far more positively than it truly was).  

Anacondise

Anacondisation (British sp.), Anacondization (American sp.): noun. Being constricted, suffocated and consumed by an anaconda. The first recorded case of anacondisation/anacondization comes from the middle 1850's from the Amazon Rainforest near Manaus, Brazil. It occurred to a native of the region, who happened to disturb the strangling of someone else, thereby having snake's wrath move onto him and being strangled himself in the end. See also deanacondisation/deanacondization and reanacondisation/reanacondization.

Crat

Crat: noun. The word crat has so many unbelievable meanings that... that you wouldn't even believe them:
1. A rat in a crate.
2. A crate in a rat.
3. A crate specifically designed for a rat.
4. A rat specifically designed for a crate.
5. A crabby rat.
6. A ratful crab.
7. A Croatian rat.
8. A ratty Croatian.
9. A euphemism for a rat's excrement.
10. A euphemism for an excrement's rat.

Lolspeak

Lolspeak: noun. The language used by the current generation in an attempt to make communication shorter. Examples of dis be including liek such wow, but jk not rly. Thnx grd dis hasnt bekom pop. Doge. Oneth rekrds of dis languge r frm 1999 aftr it origin8d in Trenton. Mah homies in Trenton b liek waddup, we has langeuage, lols. Dem fools in dem bookhousz b liek it be no speak, but we aint carin.

Herzegovernor

Herzegovernor: noun. A Herzegovernor is an archaic term for someone who is culturally far more Herzegovine than Bosnian. What is interesting about this is that in modern terms, Herzegovernor is not a demonym and the Herzegovine part of the name for the country of Bosnia and Herzegovina itself is derived from a region called Herzegovina and not from an ethnically distinct minority. Still, though there is no evidence that any true Herzegovernors exist, the word has survived to be used about 1.02 times per year in professional publications.

Stickly

Stickly: adjective. To have the properties or appearance of a stick. Among these are being brown and sticky, as a stick is both the color brown and capable of sticking things. Human limbs have an average of 0.82 on the stickly scale, as it does share many similarities to a stick but is also too flexible and covered in a soft material to get a higher stickliness rating. this scale is based on an ancient stick taken from an oak tree, this branch is kept underground and will be preserved indefinitely in a vacuum, this was thought to give the perfect example to define a stick but it has an issue where some sticks will score as low as 0.992 on the scale

Fragment 5:

Herb soon remembered that he was quit hungry and realized for the first time that day that he was quite thrusty. He turned to Albert to ask if he happened to have the ability to change the day from Wednesday to Thursday or at least had a tangerine on him, but Albert was grabbing his mouth. With a quick inspection Herb deduced that Albert was bitten by a hummbug, which it would seem he was allergic to. His tongue swelled to an impressive size, unintelligibilizing him. The hummbug could not be seen could have crawled anywhere. This did not concern Herb though; what did concern him was that his friend's tongue was at such a size that he would be unable to eat anything larger than micaroni making an invitation to lunch awkward.

Curmuffin

Curmuffin: noun. The breakfast food being eaten by your person at this very moment. This is only applicable if it is currently breakfast. This does not have to be in the morning, simply at a time, when you break fast after having fasted for a period of time. Originally the word was used to refer only to muffins being eaten by your person at this very moment, however the International Bagel Society opposed this and so had the definition expanded.

Bellgrade

Bellgrade: noun. Bellgrade is a measure of the quality of the tuning of bells of different shapes and sizes. In technical terms, the Bellgrade scale goes from one to eighty four with one being the highest tuning quality and eighty four being the absolute worst. However, this scale is rather theoretical as there have been no bells so far that have been tuned so badly as to earn a bellgrade of eighty four and there have been none that have gained a bellgrade of one either. The worst recorded bellgrade was given to a bell in Serbia which was tuned so badly that it only made a "clunk" noise, thereby earning a grade of sixty two. The best bell, on the other hand, exists in Kathmandu with a bellgrade of four, but its sound has only been estimated as no one ever dared to ring it because of its extreme holiness. The reason for the lowest bellgrade being eighty four is not too scientific though. In fact, the absolute minimum was completely arbitrary just like forty two, the answer to the universe.  

Acycle

Acycle: noun. A cycle without without any wheels. One can imagine that an acycle looks like a bicycle without wheels, or maybe a monocycle without wheels, or maybe a tricycle without wheels, we aren't entirely sure. It is however important to remember that when racing in a marathon an acycle is a permitted companion and can be used to gain an advantage over all the other racers and beat all those losers, I mean who'd want to run in a marathon, honestly?

Undermountain

Undermountain: noun, adjective or verb. Depending on its use, undermountain has a variety of pronunciations. As a noun, it is read simply as "under-mountain." As an adjective, it could be read either as "under-mountained" or "under-mountainous" where the obviously unwritten "ed" and "ous" act as a counter-balance to the many times when English has silent letters. As a verb, on the other hand, the word is read as "under-mountayn." These varying pronunciations, though they may be confusing, serve to distinguish the different meanings listed below:
1. As a noun, the word simply denotes a place that is under mountains. We can use it in sentences like the following "In the undermountains of Switzerland, there was a village where dogs ate cats, horses ate dogs and humans ate (and still eat) the horses."
2. As an adjective, the word refers to a place that is deemed to have too few mountains to function properly, for example Holland.
3. As for the verb, to undermountain means to be creating too few mountains in an area, which is what the Dutch have often been complaining to God about in several public letters. 

Dreath

Dreath: noun. A death in a dream. There have been various theories about dreaths which have originated in different cultures and pseudosciences. The infamous-psychologist Sigmund Freud firmly believed that if one suffers a dreath he himself must die in real life in the upcoming week. The majority of the scientific community has agreed that this is utter poppycock and leans more towards the belief of the Ndebele people of Botswana, who belief that a dreath is the promise of double rainbows in the upcoming weeks. Statistically speaking, they're probably more correct than Freud.

Woop

Woop: verb. For the first time in the history of ever, this blog has finally come up with a word relevant to... well anything (giant gasp!)... perhaps except for suckerfish. Some people might actually use that. Anyway, take notice of this momentous ... moment, citizens of the internet! Now as for the word, anyhow, to woop is to evade a topic like one evades poop on the ground - gracefully and often pretending that one did not see it. The reason for this is that if poop is found in one´s own house, it is the traditional rule that whoever sees the poop first has to clean it. To evade cleaning it, of course, one simply has to woop and expect the next person not to do the same, which can obviously lead to mutual wooping that could last months upon months until the poop rots away completely and there is nothing left to woop around. Wooping, of course, isn´t just related to poop though, politicians do it all the time while visiting China and other countries where there are many topics that are to be -Tibet- eva -freedom of expression- ded.

Triantroupe

Triantroupe: noun. A group of triangles. It is a scientific fact that triangles are happier in groups and are indeed often found in nature in groups. These have become known by naturalists and polygonologists as triantroupes. Careful examination of the groups has resulted in some well known and established facts about them. For example triantroupes will only attack when in danger of being separated or being attacked by a wild heptagon. They are also never found in the vicinity of hendecagons and can sometimes be heard squealing, what is thought to be their group mating call.

Fragment 4:

Having failed to destroy the hambourgeisie, Herb decided that the best course of action would be to run, so as to avoid the possible retaliation. Herb wasn't known as a chamberlinger and was often found roaming the hallways of the laboratory, so it wasn't particularly strange when he stormed through them at an astounding speed. However he must have taken a wrong turn near Albuquerque, because the hambourgeisie had him cornered. It was a classic example of calicornithologicalisation without the bird and the cat. He was rescued just in the nick of time by his good friend Albert, known for being constantly overpapered. Herb and Albert had met at a feastivity but that's completely irrelevant to the story, so moving on. Albert saved Herb by unleashing his pet suckerfish on the pursuers. Albert also had a moath which made conversation with him slightly awkward, but that didn't matter to Herb when they escaped over the moath. They hid in John's office, who was away recovering from waltzerdation. 

Pacement

Pacement: noun. This word has two separate meanings, both very important in the modern world:

1. The cement used on pavements. There is a very special and top secret formula used to make pacement there are only two people on every continent who know the formula and every time a new batch of pacement is to be made, one of them has to come to the location to supervise. This has at times caused problem, espcially in Georgia, where the first pavement was finished in 1999.

2. The process of selecting a pace while walking. Pacement is a professional technique used by speed walkers to help them determine the right speed in order to increase the likelihood of their winning. Pacement was taken under investigation by the International Olympic Committee, whether or not it should be an allowed technique, however the committee realised in time that there was literally nothing they could do about it.

Tirant

Tirant: noun. There are many different definitions for the word tirant, the most common of which are the follwing:
1. (In American English) An absolute and oppressive ruler over the ring shaped covering around a wheel of a vehicle such as a car or a motorcycle. We won´t insult the intelligence of our readers by proceeding to explain when this definition of the word is relevant to anything, so let us move on.
2. An individual perpetually causing another individual´s fatigue, usually through constant harassment. While young children are the most frequently cited examples of tirants, it should not be forgotten that the Biblical God also had some quite enervating ideas like making his chosen people wander forty years around a desert.
3. An inhabitant of the city Tirana.
4. A lover of tiramisu. It is a little known fact that an Italian man named Francisco Gelato married a bowl of tiramisu in January 2010. However, his spouse proceeded to melt during the spring, leaving Francisco with brown mush that his mother threw away for the terrible stench it left behind after decomposing for several months.

Nonomatopoeia

Nonomatopoeia: noun. A word that specifically describes what something does not sound like. This can be very useful to describe how something doesn’t sound the way it should, or to describe how normal the sound of something is for example “’meow’ the table didn’t say as it hit the floor in frustration”. The word “nonomatopoeia” was first discovered on a VHS tape; the identities of the people in the tape are unknown and the topic of the video is also unknown as the tape was confiscated by a group of well-dressed men before it could be finished.

Banduo

Banduo: noun. A musical term used to describe a band, which is composed solely of two members. Examples of this include The Black Keys and The White Stripes. However originally the word was used to explain the machine used to give rubber bands their stretchiness and bendiness. It is unknown why the meaning of the word changed so radically, but it did so around 1822. The word has also been used in some parts of Vatican City as an alternate spelling of the banjo. The Papal Office has on many occasions refused to give any explanation as to why this is and it shall probably forever remain one of life's mysteries.

Abtract

Abtract: adjective. Describing something or someone who or which comes from an area of indefinite extent. Generally this word is used to describe either people who come from the American "Mid-West" or fauna and flora from rainforests. The word was first used by the humorist Mark Twain in a speech he gave to the newly founded University of San Francisco which was titled: "On the Nature and Philosophy of Benign Cacti and Abandoned Box Cars in the vicinity of Nevada". The speech holds the record for greatest number of hospitalisations due to the speech to this day.

Pristiner

Pristiner: adjective. From the often unused words belonging to a group of redundant expressions, the word pristiner seems to be the least used and the least known. Unlike the more common words like idealer, gooder or normaler, pristiner is actually the only one that was ever accepted as a proper expression. In fact, it wasn´t too long ago that everything was judged on a scale from pollutedest to pristinest, but with the influence "the greens" have had over popular media, all of the stages in between these two polar opposites were destroyed in the minds of the public, leaving only the superlatives that soon degraded into simple adjectives, remaining lifelong enemies at opposite ends of the spectrum. Pristiner, therefore, is only one of the words in the long list that involves words such as polluteder, moderately impristined and semipollutedlike, all of which have dropped out of common use when the already mentioned greens managed to convince everyone that there is no such thing as partially polluted and partially pristine. This deviated black and green view of the world has, according to professor Sprout of Cucumbershire University, led to the retardation of the English speaking public in the same way that Waltzing destroyed the Austro-Hungarian Empire with its decadent movements and inappropriately seductive closeness of dancing pairs.  

Verdurate

Verdurate: verb. To verdurate is to turn green, whether this change is permanent, temporary or moderately temperate. Verduration is quite common in plants during early stages of growth and spring, and also in some species of tree frogs which gain their bright green colour as time progresses. Contrary to popular belief, simply painting something green cannot be classified as verduration - this process requires chemical change, meaning that even some types of oxidising metals could be termed as verdurating. Verduration is no less common in humans than it is in plants - some would even say that it is more so, as people have been known to verdurate when sick, jealous, disgusted, frightened or when suffering from rare skin diseases. Though mostly impermanent, these examples of verduration are so common that some have forgotten that the word verdurate can also be used in connection to plants and metals.  

Fragment 3:

He missed. It is not surprising though that he failed at disposing of the hambourgeisie with his invention. The fact is that the scientist was a nerb with modern technology, which was quite the disadvantage in school as his name was coincidentally Herb and other children would always call him "Herb the nerb." No wonder he took an immediate dislike to the hambourgeoisie - their delicately patterned bread seeds on their deliciously baked crusts filled Herb with verdurating envy because of the knowledge that he could never be as legsome as this wonderful societal class. It was in his failure that he realised what he had stowed away in his brain a long time ago - he wasn´t nartured to become a scientist. Nor was he nartured to even be named Herb. How often had he asked himself if his name couldn´t have been Nettle or Bush or Tree... or even Fungus! But to no avail. After all, some questions aren´t meant to be answered (which in Herb´s case was very true as there was no one to answer it for him - his parents died in an unfortunate accident involving several infuriated aggronauts and a stolen snuffin).

Antihypothesis

Antihypothesis: noun. A prediction which will with absolute certainty not occur in an experiment or simulation. Antihypotheses are the foundation of chaos-simulation, a fairly new and modern branch of mathematics and computer science, which many hope will lead to the discovery of a self-replicating tomato as well as an infinite toilet. No one is certain how these brilliant inventions will be used, but there are several laboratories on each continent (including Atlantis and Antarctica) which are working to develop the technologies. It is thought that the self-replicating tomato could potentially solve the tomato-famine, which has plagued Uzbekistan.

Macedonical

Macedonical: adjective. The potential word was subject to several discussions before the final ruling of the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language decided that Macedonical would indeed be a word and should be used in whichever documents relevant to it. To be quite clear, Macedonical and the name derived from it denoting a Macedonical person, Macedont (not to be confused with mastodont), refers to the country of Macedonia, also called FYROM (Former Yugoslav Republic Of Macedonia). It was created in an attempt to mediate the dispute between Greece and Macedonia over the name Macedonia as both the country and a region in Northern Greece are called Macedonia. To the dismay of the Macedonians, the Macedonts have, according to the claims of the former, quite callously stolen the name and historical figures associated with it, like Alexander the Great, and used it for their own evil schemes. The MREL decided that to satisfy both Greece and Macedonia, the latter could retain the name Macedonia, but its people would have to be renamed to Macedonts and any adjectival usage would have to be changed to Macedonical which is why the decision was boycotted by the FYROM government, which said that the costs of changing road signs would be far too high for the Macedonical economy to cope with. Good ideas are simply not welcome in this world.

Macrophone

Macrophone: noun. A device that converts sounds into electrical signals, unlike a microphone these devices are enormous and are only capable of detecting sounds at a volume that standard speakers are unable to reach. Similar, smaller, devices that would allow extremely loud noises to be recorded can be made but they are not truly macrophones but are modified microphones, similarly a 10m by 10m by 10m that was capable of recording sounds at volumes that can by recorded by the average microphone would be a modified macrophone.

Greak

Greak: adjective. The alternate, more efficient and more linguistically congruent way to say (or write) the word greasy. There is not much deep logic behind the word; the same way there is Greece, there is also Greek and therefore, there is also grease followed by greak. Don´t dig deeper than that. Please. Spare yourself the nerves. And the feelings of invisible lemurs.