Ismenism

Ismenism: noun. As opposed to an Antigonist, an Ismenist is a person who, though usually abiding by religion, will choose temporal law over religious law when the two are in conflict. An Ismenist is not exactly a secularist, as the latter term tends to imply complete separation from religious matters, which is not the case of Ismenism. In the story of Antigone, Ismene is the person who goes along the path of least resistance and forsakes religion when it would mean acting illegally.

Antigonism

Antigonism: noun. Antigonism is the belief that religious laws have precedence over temporal laws. An Antigonist will not necessarily live a monastic life and actively follow all religious commandments, but when religious laws and temporal laws conflict, an Antigonist will always follow religion. Thus, an ancient Greek Antigonist would, for example, bury dead relatives even when the practice was prohibited by a king.

Unlive

Unlive: verb. To hit the 'undo button' on life. Sadly, no one has yet found the unlive button, so humankind and all other organisms are still subject to boring old death. The difference between unliving and dying, however, is possible to conjecture and is very simple. Whereas dying is the natural end that living tends towards, unliving is a reversal of the living process until there is no life. So, while a corpse is left of a person after dying, only abiotic matter is left after unliving. 

Sedude

Sedude: verb. To seduce someone in a very manly manner. Sedudion is typified by a lot of (1) muscle-flexing, (2) misogyny, and (3) frequent use of the words "dude" and "bro." Examples of sedudion in practice include the following three scenarios:

1. A man walks up to a lady in a gym and, in an effort to display his physical prowess, tears off his own arms.

2. A man calls a waitress and tells her to bring him a sandwich.

3. "Hey dude... you wanna hang out, bro, with me and the guys, dude? We can do somethin' really manly, dude, like, uh, ... gettin' really hammered and going to a strip club? Whaddya say, brah?"

Queueueue

Queueueue: noun and verb. A queueueue (pronounced kyoo-yoo) is a queue about double the length of an average queue. To queueueue is to stand in such queue. Intuitively, a que (pronounced keh, like in Spanish) is a queue half the length of an average queue, a queueue (pronounced kyoo-eh) is a queue one and a half times longer than an average queue, and a queueueueueue (pronounced kyoo-yoo-yoo) is a queue three times longer than an average queue. To make these distinctions clearer, we include a table with the queue names, pronunciations, and lengths:

Name	Pronunciation	Length
Que	Keh	½ of a queue
Queue	Kyoo	A queue
Queueue	Kyoo-eh	1½ of a queue
Queueueue	Kyoo-yoo	2 queues
Queueueueue	Kyoo-yoo-eh	2½ of a queue
Queueueueueue	Kyoo-yoo-yoo	3 queues

You get the picture. Since you were probably wondering, when the length of the queue is indeterminably great, the correct term for the queue is "screw it, ain't nobody got time for that."

Gud

Gud: adjective. Something worse than good. The word gud perfectly encapsulates the way people say "good" when they are not entirely content (and perhaps a little irritated) with some situation. The "oo" sound heard in "stood" or "understood" turns into a curt "u", as in "put" or "foot." An example of the word gud used in a conversation is the following:
"Hey, I'm throwing a party."
"Nice, can I bring my dog?"
"Only if you have to..."
"Then I'm taking my dog."
"Gud."
"What do you mean?"
"Just what I said: good."
"No, I distinctly heard you say gud."
"What's the difference?"
"Read this blog post again, you dolt."

Okayish

Okayish: adjective. When something is okayish, it is on the verge of being okay (or ok), but not entirely okay. While it is possible for something to be okayish in the sense that it is almost better than okay, most things called okayish tend to lean towards being bad, or simply "not okay" in the negative sense of the word. An example of the word being used in a sentence is: "Well, I guess dinner with only one of your parents is okayish." Notice that you will probably have read the word okayish as "okay...ish," which is an okayish way to read it.    

Daduous

Daduous: adjective. The quality of being like a dad. When one is daduous, one has greying hair, recounts bad jokes, and goes through midlife crises. Many people are at least partly daduous and quite a couple are completely so, even without having children or being a man. What this proves is the aptness of the saying "mind over matter."

Skunky

Skunky: adjective. Being skanky and like a skunk. There are multiple ways in which one can be skanky and there are multiple ways in which one can be like a skunk. All of these often overlap. The word skanky usually refers to physical or moral dirtiness, while skunks tend to be dirty only physically. However, skunks, have plenty of characteristics apart form that, such as black-and-whiteness, smelliness and cuddliness. So, an example of skunkiness would be the morally corrupt and black-and-white haired Cruella de Vil or a dirty but cuddly dalmatian.

Automato

Automato: noun. Unlike a tomato, which ripens on a plant, an automato is a tomato that ripens by itself. Cases of complete automatoism are extremely rare - if at all existent - as seeds tend to germinate into plants and not directly into fruits. However, it is often the case that when a young tomato falls off a plant, it can still ripen, thus becoming an automato.

Thoughtmato

Thoughtmato: noun. A device that looks like a tomato and actually is a tomato. The typical user of a thoughtmato thinks it has more functions than a tomato, and is thus willing to pay over 50% more money to obtain one. However, the truth of the matter is that the only real difference between a tomato and a thoughtmato is - in the words of the great Bernard Shaw - not how it behaves, but how it is treated. Some see tomatoes as inferior to thoughtmatoes because they treat them so, and always will. As the good consumers they have been conditioned to be, however, they never question any of this.

Thomato

Thomato: noun. A Thomato is a tomato belonging to a person named Thomas. The crazy thing about the word Thomato is that there is no audible difference between that and the word 'tomato,' which makes for a very confusing world. Secret: one of the authors of this blog may or may not have unwittingly used the word Thomato all his life, even in reference to normal tomatoes.

Litteral

Litteral: adjective. Pertaining to a litter (of animals) or litter (as in garbage). Because of this ambiguity, it is often difficult to decipher whether a person referring to a cat as litteral means to say that it is one of many siblings, or that it is trashy. Just for your information, a cat can be referred to as trashy when it dresses in skanky clothing, hangs around in bars, or acts suspiciously like the characters on Jersey Shore.

Dicken

Dicken: verb or noun. There are four commonly accepted definitions for the word dicken.
1. Verb: To become a phallic object.
2. Verb: To become a jerk.
3. Verb: To become fatter, derived from the German adjective 'dick.' 
4. Noun: Diced chicken, sometimes also known as chicen.

Wattley

Wattley: adjective. When something is wattley, it looks or acts like a wattle - the little fleshy bit hanging from the chins of animals such as chicken or cassowaries. The word wattley can be used literally and figuratively. For example, someone's chin might be called wattley in the literal sense if it can be taken and flapped about in an amusing fashion. On the other hand, the word wattley can also be applied figuratively to a person who is indecisive or ambivalent, to use the technical term: wishy-washy.

Goaleal

Goaleal: adjective. Pertaining to a goal or goals. In Aristotelian terms, when something is called goaleal, it is an end in itself, e.g. happiness. When something is only worth pursuing as a means, it is called meanial (not to be confused with the word 'menial,' though there are some commonalities between the two terms). We can thus efficiently say what it took Aristotle five years to say in the Nicomachean Ethics, i.e. that bridle-making is meanial to the goaleal art of horse-riding.  

Testify

Testify: verb. In the same way that to ratify is to turn something into a rat and to purify is to turn something into puree, to testify is to turn something into testicles. Though many linguists are of the opinion that testifying should mean turning something into a test, English never was a rational language, which is the only one-o'clock-in-the-morning-response the sad creators of this blog could come up with. 

Necromantic

Necromantic: noun. A person or animal who is asexual but desires a genuine relationship with one or more dead bodies. Necromantics love going to history museums featuring skeletons, mummies or even urns, though some subsets of this broad spectrum of people, such as zoonecromantics, are equally happy to see nature museums instead. If a specimen is old enough, the person or animal desiring a meaningful relationship with it is called palaeoromantic and not palaeonecromantic, as that would be somewhat redundant.    

Diggle

Diggle: verb. To diggle is to dig a little. Diggling is one of the favourite pastimes of dogs who get reprimanded for digging and have to, therefore, resort to a more clandestine form thereof. The interviewees we summoned for this post have however, reported that it is exactly the very illegality of digging that makes diggling so appealing. The only solution, they say, is to get it out in the open, despite the adverse effects to the well-being of our backyards.   

Dink

Dink: verb. Dinking is the technical term for taking care of marijuana plants. The word dink follows the pattern "I dink, you dink, he/she/it dinks; I had dunk, you had dunk, he/she/it has dunk; I dank, you dank, he/she/it dank."  A person who dinks is called a dinker and his or her job usually consists of watering pots and the joint weeding of green grass, herbs and buds.

Alreadythereness

Alreadythereness: noun. A key concept in Platonic philosophy denoting the state of something which is, very philosophically put, "already there." An example of alreadythereness as a quality is Socrates' argument that all knowledge is present in the soul waiting for its proprietor to re-discover it. Thus, all "new" information is not really "new," but in a state of alreadythereness, which seems to make life sort of boring. 

Comitatism

Comitatism: noun. Pride and patriotic sentiments for one's county or the national equivalent thereof, such as Kreis, megye or shahrestan. The word comitatism comes from the Latin word "comitatu," which is roughly the equivalent of an English "county." Comitatism usually is, in terms of size, greater than urbism (pride for one's city), smaller than provincism and statism (pride for one's province and state, respectively) and even smaller than nationalism (pride for one's nation or sometimes country). This distinction however, while covering the basics, has plenty exceptions. A proud Singaporean, for example, could be called an urbist or a nationalist, whereas a proud citizen of Beijing could be an urbist or provincist and a proud Berliner could be an urbist or statist. There is little overlap, however, between comitatism, provincism and nationalism, making marketing strategies based on affiliation far more bearable for everyone. 

Murdererer

Murdererer: adjective. To be murdererer is to have murdered more people than someone else. The word murdererer is not to be confused with the word murderouser, as the former pertains to actual killings carried out, whereas the latter is concerned with the mere lust for doing so. So, whereas we would call Shakespeare's Tybalt murderouser than Romeo, we would definitely call Romeo murdererer.

Confushe

Confushe: adjective. To confushe is to put someone in a state of bewilderment using the teachings of Confucius (also known as K'ung Fu Tzu, in which case the word is rendered confutze). One can use the word in very lame jokes such as the following: "I was very confushed when our teacher of ancient philosophies told us about the concept of filial duty. I mean, did your computer document ever give you thanks for being its father?"

Well we warned you it was very lame, so don't complain.

Confuse

Confuse: verb. Besides the traditional definition of the word "confuse," to confuse is also to put two fuses next to each other in an electric circuit. Whilst some may view confusion as useless and even confusing, confusion is often pleasing to those who have an eye for symmetry and like to see two of everything exactly mirroring their counterparts in electric circuits. That said, one should not be confused when one's confused fuses both blow at the same time, rather than offering double protection, as confusion is a condition that tends to convolute already confusing and complicated cases.

Cowgaze

Cowgaze: noun or verb. A cowgaze is a vacant expression usually bestowed by stupid people upon those of higher intellect. Besides 'giving one a cowgaze' one can also just 'cowgaze,' using the word as a verb. This enables us not only to construct the sentence that "Sarah Palin gave the evolutionary biologist a long and very unpleasant cowagaze," but also that "Donald Trump cowgazed at the news reporter whilst trying to figure out whether the Turkey he was being asked about was the country neighbouring Syria or the delicious meal he had for lunch." 

Feminym

Feminym: noun. A feminym is most usually the feminine version of a noun. For example, the noun "actress" is the feminym of the noun "actor," the noun "duchess" is the feminym of the noun "duke" and the noun "Dress" is the feminym of the noun "Dr" (as in Doctor and Doctress). It is also possible, though less common, to use the word feminym to distinguish between verbs seen as masculine and their feminine counterparts. For example, some languages grammatically distinguish between men marrying and women marrying. In this context, both the Swahili word "aliolewa" (she married) and the Czech words "vdala se" (she married) are feminyms to the words "alimuoa" (he married) and "oženil se," respectively.    

Hamdwichburger

Hamdwichburger: noun. The word hamdwichburger has two very different meanings:
1. A hamburger filled with ingredients usually put into a typical English sandwich, such as boil, toil, tears and sweat. 
2. An inhabitant of the lost city of Hamdwich which sank (into the ground) somewhere between the cities of Ipswich and Woodbridge, probably near the A12 some two hundred years ago.

Sandburgerwich

Sandburgerwich: noun. A sandburgerwich is sandwich bread filled with things that are normally put in hamburgers, such as ground beef, gherkins, cocaine and other addictive substances. Sandburgerwiches are commonly eaten at the Ascot horse races, a custom that began during the Victorian era, symbolising how being German inconspicuously came to form the centre of royal life - much like hamburger ingredients the a sandwich - with the arrival of Queen Victoria. 

Singural

Singural: noun. A singural is the Ural equivalent of a yodeler. The plural form of the word singural is singuralim, because it is fitting in the context of certain Hebrew writings, despite the fact that the word was not derived from Hebrew. Several sects based around the Ural Mountains claim that during the Final Judgement, the singuralim will "descend from the high mountains carrying harsh judgement upon mankind, as well as salted peanuts," which is written in the Apocalypse of Tobias, also known as the man with bird poop in his eyes. As is evident, it is unclear from the text whether the singuralim will be carrying salted peanuts or whether they will be judging them, spurring very passionate theological debate.

Plular

Plular: noun. A plular is a darn big load of plums. Pluralism is not too popular in plulars, as that would be singularly peculiar.