Smothersome

Smothersome: adjective. A person, object, animal or abstract term that is easily smothered. While smothering most animals and humans may be deemed easy by professional murderers, smothering an object or an abstract term requires a high amount of skill. Though a fire can be smothered with sand, foam or any other materials that may fill a fire extinguisher (rats, mice and hamsters included), a rock or the Eiffel Tower would be far more resistant and would probably have to be melted before being smothered with a wet towel. Abstract terms are even harder to smother, as they would seep right through the wet towel and so they have to be smothered with a slab of wet iron. To help people understand the different degrees of how smothersome a thing can get, the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language has made the following guide (note that this movement has its own particular form of English which may be confusing to one who has never been in contact with it):

1. Do thing have respiratory system? (add 3 points if yes, 1 point if no, 2 points if not sure)
2. Be thing tangible? (add 3 points if yes, 1 point if no, 2 points if markhor) 
3. Be thing animal/human or thing/abstract term? (add 3 points if animal/human, 1 point if thing/abstract term, 2 points if George Bush)

Results: If score add up to 8 or 9, thing be completely smothersome. If score add up to 3 or 4, thing be almost unsmothersome. If score add up to 5,6 or 7 thing be most probably markhor in White House or George Bush skipping on mountain in Kashmir.