Appel

Appel: verb. The act of pleading in court on behalf of an apple. The most famous occurrence of an appel dates back to twentieth century USSR. To sum up the court case, a former official of the Communist party was blamed for assaulting an apple without doing so in the name of the proletariat. As the apple could not sue him by itself because of how bashed up it was, the case was taken up by an agent of the KGB who presented a very convincing appel that led to the arrest of the former official, followed by his execution and hard labour in Siberia.