i

i: pronoun. Unlike I, i is a pronoun that could best be summed up as the first case of the halfth person. The halfth person is used almost as the first person, only by people who are missing a half of their body or a half of their mind; the latter occurrence could be the result of fatigue or simple lobotomy. The only difference between the halfth person and the first person is that the aforementioned "I" takes the form i and is read as the "i" in "in."

Part II

It took about two weeks for Mr Collins to depart from his sweet wife, who rejoiced at the fact that she would finally have some time for herself. This joy did not last too long though, as Lady Catherine’s severe punishment was soon extended to her too by association. And so the two packed their suitcases with several herrings and left for Derbyshire, somewhat reconciled with their fates and yet hopeful that they might return by the time that Charlotte’s baby, which she was carrying for three months by then, could be presented on its first day to its glorious future patrons, Lady Catherine and her daughter.

“I didn’t tell Lizzy that we were coming, my love,” Charlotte moaned in the carriage, slightly worried and feeling very sick.

“Do not worry, my dearest,” Mr Collins attempted a consoling tone, “my God, you are as green as an olive branch! Here, have some gascream.” Mr Collins handed his wife a container he had brought along, but Charlotte did not seem too happy. She looked around in deprivation until Mr Collins finally broke the silence with the words, “Oh dear me, I didn’t give you a spoon.”

As he bent forward amidst the luggage and rotting herrings that had been spillt over the floor to look for the spoon, Charlotte’s face twisted and turned. The smell of herrings was as thick as her husband’s skull and her head reeled in confused thoughts about her husband, Lizzy, Lady Catherine, Derbyshire, her family and rotting herrings. Finally, she clutched her stomach in agony and threw up all over her husband’s back.

“Ooh, a warm breeze,” Mr Collins remarked with pleasure, “how delightful. Only it is a little damp - must be the stuffiness of the place.”

And on they travelled for a few more days. All along, Mr Collins never noticed he had vomit on his back, and his wife was only too happy for that as she wasn’t prepared to keep giving him new clothes. At least he served her well as a vomit absorber and in any case, the smell could never be bad enough to overpower that of the fish.