Anticarbonics

Anticarbonics: noun. A maniacal movement set up by Al Gore to combat carbon dioxide in the atmosphere through the strategy of PRRR: Prevention, Remedy, Reeducation and Reversal. The Prevention aspect of Anticarbonics entails the complete annihilation of carbon dioxide releasing substances, objects and organisms or their exclusion from natural systems. As part of this, humans (such as passengers on aeroplanes) are given plastic bags to put on their heads by the Al Gore foundation. The aspect of Remedy relies on removing already present carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, which is sucked up by giant vacuum cleaners. Reeducation relies on educating people about how their sheer existence poses a threat to their sheer existence (each participant of Al Gore's reeducation programme is then given a revolver with one bullet). As for Reversal, the Al Gore foundation expects that if its three earlier points are fulfilled, the world will be completely rid of its evil carbon dioxide and it will be a much cooler place.