Forkspooner

Forkspooner: noun. A person who eats spaghetti with a fork and a spoon. An ancient battle is fought between forkspooners and the more numerous forkers, people who eat spaghetti only with forks. The third party in this conflict, forknivers, would seem far too small to make any difference in this battle, but its weaponry - forks and knives - is far deadlier than the weaponry of either of the two sides. Due to this balance between the three, there is no direct conflict and third world countries are divided into spheres of influence to do the fighting amongst each other instead.