Pastignorance

Pastignorance: noun. Contrary to popular belief, pastignorance is not lack of information about the past, but lack of information about pasta. The 'a,' as they say, got lost on the way. People suffering from pastignorance will call their penne spaghetti and will swear on their mother's grave that lasagna is a type of shredded wheat. The best remedy to pastignorance is locking its victim in one room with an Italian for seven days. After seven days, a priest of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will check up on the victim and, as is written in the book of Leviticus, "when the hair in the plague [of ignorance] is turned white ... the priest shall pronounce him unclean." As for obtaining the Italian, the book of Leviticus leaves it to our invention.