Calvanisation

Calvanisation: noun. As opposed to galvanisation, which is the coating of steel or iron with a layer of zinc to prevent rusting, Calvanisation is the process of coating a Calvinist with this material to prevent them from moving. As Calvinists are known for often succumbing to Calvisignation (resigning on life because of the belief that their future has already been determined), some of them have officially started sponsoring other Calvinists to give up on life and - as suicide is deemed wrong - purchase a cocoon in which to reside until death.