Boredome

Boredome: noun. This is a word, which is considered to be so very interesting, simply because of its many semi-related meanings. Some of the meanings are as follows:
1. A dome within which everyone is bored. This is not necessarily because of the contents of the dome or the structure of the dome, but simply because it is an obligation or requirement that the occupant or inhabitant of a boredome be bored.
2. A dome which is made entirely out of robes constructed by illiterate dyslexics. There is only one case of such a boredome existing on record and it collapsed soon after in an incident involving a wolf.
3. A dome, which has been bored through entirely by some type of borer, whether that be animal or machine. For example a dome in Southern Germany was bored through by several large machines and then covered in yellow paint to become the world's largest half-sphere of Eidam cheese. The citizens of Munich are proud of their achievement to this day.

Fragment 21:

Having received his haircut, Herb felt he was ready to deal with the "situation" in his lab, which had been caused by the stickly Victimator. He returned to the time machine he had been inhabiting for the past few weeks and stepped forward in time just so that he would appear in the lab the moment after he had left earlier that day. During time travel the time machine had a tendency to play music with incomprehensible lyrics and so Herb spent the entire time flyricking. Herb arrived safely in the future...or the past...ermmm...anyways, he arrived safely and realised that his position in the time machine would be wholly undefendable and so he relocated. Herb stationed himself between his experiment attempting to produce a taurate and a machine meant to synthesise lichee. From here Herb felt he would be able to deal with the Victimator once he arrived.

Milligrubs

Milligrubs: noun. A large amount of little snacks which have at least 10 feet. Generally this word is used by entomophagous animals to refer to their afternoon snacks or supper. For a time the word was banned in Australia so that it wouldn't get confused with a popular children's TV show, although to be perfectly honest I've forgotten the name of that, oh well.

Mournithology

Mournithology: noun. The scientific study of birds with lugubrious names such as the crying bird, widowbird or mourning dove. Anticipating the immediate question many readers will have: no, being an expert Marvel fan and loving the character Deathbird does not make you a mournithologist. If anything, it just makes your life very, very sad.

Mammothsept

Mammothsept: noun. A clan of Mammoths. Mammothsepts were tightly knit communities during the Ice Age and the predominant form of social interaction in the Animal Kingdom at the time. They were well known for having Ice Hockey matches between mammothsepts as well as holding incredible feasts, which were in the end always ruined by the Saber-tooths who always poked someone with their obnoxiously large teeth and started a brawl.

Athiest

Athiest: adjective. The quality of being the proudest and most characteristic inhabitant of the Irish town Athy. As of the year 2014, the Athiest person on Earth is the deceased Ernest Shackleton. After all, it is quite difficult to be proud of being an Irishman. 

Malemaroking

Malemaroking: noun. Perhaps one of the most fascinating words in the English language Mallemaroking has this word as a close relative. The much more interesting word mallemaroking refers to the carousing of seamen on board Greenlandic whaling ships. On the other hand the significantly more boring word malemaroking refers to the man crowned King of Marrakesh at the annual Marrakesh disco.

Tableoid

Tableoid: adjective. Something that resembles the table. Yes, you are wondering which table that is. Well wouldn't you like to know. Looks you'll just have to look through the whole world and return home after one thousand years still not knowing which of the tables you saw there was the one that the word tableoid is based on. Either that or you can just forget it. We recommend the former.

Sfear

Sfear: noun. The semi-rational fear of the letter S. It is common practice, although not technically a grammatical rule, to describe how severe this fear is by prefixing it with a word that ends with an S or even the word's homophone "sphere" when discussing a friend's sfear (not by the person with sfear for obvious reasons), for example: Troposfear is used to describe sfear that exists to a lesser extent than stratosfear. Sfear is most common in small, uncooperative children learning to read and it is recommended to force them to learn to read to lower the chances of them suffering from sfear later in life.

Fragment 20:

Herb informed the potato barber of the situation, the barber was horrified by the idea of the extinction of humans in much the way a human would be horrified by the extinction of potatoes and just as a human would assist a potato bringing him/her, the potato barber agreed to help herb. The barber informed Herb that his name was George and agreed to give Herb the haircut he desperately needed, it was guaranteed to cure flouse and a of a quality that other barbers would find extraterraneous; when Herb asked in what sense George meant it was extraterraneous George merely laughed. Whilst making small talk with George during his haircut, Herb got an idea of what this secondary situation was. It would seem that the smashing of the single portato had released the potato population of a small part of a small village, possibly the entire population of 2 or 3 houses. Herb considered the way in which he'd deal with this, he was sure there'd be a simple solution to this going through many antihypotheses before realizing that his haircut was complete. He looked in the mirror and commented on how good a job George did. "Maybe I won't eat all you rogue potato people after all." Herb was very careful not to say.

Lyripippi

Lyripippi: noun. A song created by Astrid Lindgren for her famous character Pippi Longstocking to sing in the various books written about her. Scientists from the University of Uppsala have concluded that in total Lindgren wrote and composed the music for 37 different lyripippis. It is thought that Lindgren loved the character so much that she attempted to bring her to life with a combination of voodoo and incantations, where these incantations became what is nowadays known as lyripippis. 

Ogreless

Ogreless: adjective. The state of lacking an ogre. Not to be confused with the word "orgulous," the state of being excessively proud or even haughty. One might suppose that in the modern world, being ogreless could make a country quite orgulous, but seeing the success Shrek has had at the box office, being ogreless is quite a "no go." For this reason, it is the policy of the European Union to bring the ogre back into the wild from well paid jobs such as politics and law. Needless to say, this is going to cost some money, so please call the European Fund to kindly make a donation.
With love,
Your ogreless Europeans 

Kyprorrhinos

Kyprorrhinos: nouns. Rhinoceroses which come from the island of Cyprus. This may surprise some of the readers of this blog, but at one point in history the climate and conditions were perfect for the existence of rhinoceroses. Unfortunately the conditions were too hostile for virtually any other animal, so the only animal that lived with the kyprorrhinos was a strange and distant relative of the platypus. Unfortunately the kyprorrhinos died out but several historians suspect that a kyprorrhino transported to the island of Minos was responsible for the legend of the Minotaur.

Solence

Solence: noun. The quality of having particularly good manners, making this word the exact opposite of the word insolence. Most probably, this word is derived from the word sol (the sun), as one's good manners can make another's day far more bright. However, it has been suggested by societal cynics that really, the word solence was derived from the word "solvency," which they believe is equally if not more important in the modern world than having good manners. 

Yumentous

Yumentous: adjective. Describing something that smells like egg yolk urine. This word is obviously very similar to the word jumentous, which refers to something that smells like horse urine, but there is a clear difference (the "s" sound in yumentous is significantly longer than the "s" sound in jumentous). One might ask what egg yolk urine is, but I'm afraid that that is a story for another time.

Mondane

Mondane: adjective. Something that is rather dull and boring on the moon because of its ubiquity. What is mondane would also usually be mundane, though there are exceptions - we don't have too many rockets or rovers landing and roaming the Earth and we most certainly don't have an American flag next to several footrpints somewhere on a piece of rock.  Apart from that, what is most common to the moon (rock, not Swiss cheese) is deemed particularly mondane (and probably would be mundane if found on Earth).

Hastlessly

Hastlessly: adjective. To move slowly, and/or without urgency. This is most commonly used to describe when someone is exceedingly hastless, meaning that it is commonly accepted that they should move faster; however they may be hastless for their own reasons that have yet to be announced to the general public for dramatic reasons, because of this people avoid pointing out one's hastlessness out of fear that they may embarrass themselves.

Fragment 19:

A self-referential peace filled Herb's mind as a word used in the past came into being, from his perspective, months after the first use. Herb rubbed his beard and was startled by the fact that he had a beard. He rushed to his shaving room (yes he had a room specifically for shaving in his laboratory), if there was to be any zeqex confrontation Herb thought it would be best to have a look he was comfortable with. On his way there he grabbed a fresh lab coat and soon found himself in a barberqueue, the man in front of him was oddly shaped but unmistakably a barber. Herb soon realized the cause for the barber's odd shape: the barber was a potato person, the "victimator" must have stepped on his portato experiment, luckily Herb learned how to rid himself of any signs he had eaten potatoes in the case of a portato leak, perhaps these potato people could make useful allies. Potatoes, to Herb's knowledge, cannot be subjected to brapse the same way humans can.

Intrafenestration

Intrafenestration: noun. The space between the two frames of a window. Practically speaking this is the area where the glass panes of the window are most often located, but that is not always the case, which is why the word exists. For example there could be wooden beams in the intrafenestration separating the glass panes, or the glass could be missing entirely. Since such horrendous scenarios are a possibility the word has to exist.

Abondance

Abondance: noun. An abundance of bonds, also known as "the investor's Heaven." This word is not to be confused with abonddance, the melody that plays at an investor's birthday party and it is definitely not to be confused with abombdance, the ritual that the group called "The Happy Terrorists" conducts before one of its members blows up ... a balloon.

Anhonorificabilitudinitatibus

Anhonorificabilitudinitatibus: adjective. Describing something without honour. There are several cases of irony that are linked to this word. The first one being the fact that this word used only by Brits in the Modern Age is spelt with "honor", while Brits continue to spell it "honour". This has frustrated Brits to no end and yet they continue to use both words without changing them. A second case of irony is the fact that this word was used by the Western Roman emperor Honorius in his official title. The title goes as follows: "Supreme Emperor Flavius Honorius Augustus the First, son of Theodosius I and Aelia Flaccilla, August Caesar and Consul of the Glorious Western Roman Empire, Anhonorificabilitudinitatibus Pater Patriae"(that's the short version).

Odus

Odus: noun. The state of living somewhere and not being physically forced out of this state of living. It would be logical to conjecture that this word is where the word "exodus" is derived from, but there is not enough evidence to prove this theory. After all, the greatest exodus recorded by ancient scholars would not be a real exodus if it were derived from this word, as the Jews were not physically forced out of their state of living (though they surely had plenty of grievances). 

Hamarthritia

Hamarthritia: noun. Arthritis caused by making a horrible mistake that involves ham. Obviously this word is derived from the word hamartithia which means being likely to make a mistake. Hamarthritia was derived by the Supreme Council of Supreme Medical Specialists of Supremacy simply because of the number of cases that could be described using the word. In total exactly two. Yeah, two. The council was really bored and had nothing to do between 1985 and 2014 and so decided to find the most obscure cases in medical history and create even more obscure names for them. They were eventually stopped in this endeavour by the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language, which fought them in a huge battle on top of Mount Fuji, where the Movement eventually came out victorious after 13 hours of gruesome fighting. Apparently dictionaries are excellent shields against scalpels.

Usurplus

Usurplus: noun. A usurplus is the stolen produce that its previous owner did not need for survival. In Communist theory, the current system run by the bourgeoisie relies on usurplus, as does feudalism and all forms of government apart from the Communist one (yes, Communist theory tends to be quite conceited when it comes to judging other systems).

Ginger

Ginger: adjective. To be more ginge relative to something else. The gingenous of something is relative to the number of words beginning with G that apply to the thing. For example: George; the great, giant giraffe with gout is likely ginger than Henry, the read-headed accordionist. Some argue that being excessively great would count for extra Gs, making them ginger than they would otherwise be, this is a childish argument used by childish people for childish reasons; therefore this reasoning should not be used by anyone who is further than 2/25ths through their life expectancy, otherwise you get 1 G no matter how great you are!

Fragment 18:

Herb headed hastlessly toward the lab and scratched his head confusedly being able to swear that hastlessly has not yet been given official word status. He glanced through a window over at the line of 12 identical and 2 non-identical time machines which had appeared in his lab a while ago from a future in which at least 12 time machines have been invented and, herb guessed, launched through time at random, he thought of something but said nothing of it. An idea came to Herb involving the time machines mentioned earlier and immediately one of the time machines appeared in front of him, he got inside and programmed it to go to the date on which the time machine first appeared. Herb waited several weeks hiding in the machine, and occasionally sneaking out to get food, he now understood why food frequently we went missing in his lab.

Gossypieboma

Gossypieboma: noun. A surgical gooseberry pie accidentally left inside a patient's body during an operation. You would surprised how many cases of goosepieboma are reported every year. For instance in 2008 a gossypieboma was reported every 2.5734 kè (a unit of time used in dynastic China). Interestingly a patient cannot sue a surgeon on account of a goosypieboma because it has been scientifically proven that they aren't dangerous to the human body. 

Apendence

Apendence: noun. While independence describes the state of being liberated from the state of dependence (hence the structure of the word in-dependence), apendence describes the state of never having been dependent at all. There are very few things one could classify as absolutely apendent. In fact, we can't think of any... Oh well, if you can think of something, send us an email.

Midifuscoferuginous

Midifuscoferuginous: adjective. Describing something which is roughly halfway to having a dark rusty colour. This could mean that the object is halfway to rusting, or that it is halfway to its rust having a dark colour, or that only half of this rusted object exists, or that exactly half of the object has a dark rusty colour or the obvious option that the object is exactly half of the dark rusty colour, therefore it is either a dark colour or a rusty colour.

Bassic

Bassic: adjective. The word bassic has several definitions from many different walks of life:
1. Anything pertaining to a double bass (including the player, as this relationship can't really work the other way round).
2. Anything pertaining to any other bass instrument.
3. Anything pertaining to a bass singer.
4. Anything pertaining to the fish called bass.

Antiexsibilator

Antiexsibilator: noun. A machine used in television studios to absorb and remove the collective hisses of a disapproving audience. Antiexsibilators were invented by Walt Disney to give his cartoons more confidence on the stage when they were performing some of their early cartoons in front of a live audience. The machines were such a great success that a large number of people think that Disney's success can be attributed specifically to antiexsibilators. 

Gascream

Gascream: noun. A flavoured, whipped form of dessert made by walking around in a room of freshly scented air with a mixer. It is eaten after the room is compressed to such an extent that it compunds the molecules of this dessert together into a lofty, almost elusive mist that can be attacked with a spoon.

Napthaligenous

Napthaligenous: adjective. Describing something or someone which/who produces smoke after smoking naptha. In many societies this is considered dangerous and therefore illegal, but more liberal societies where idiotic people can risk their lives and most people's attitude is: "See if I care?" and "It's your life, do what you want." it is perfectly acceptable and allowed. It's killed 32,583 people in Switzerland. Napthaligenous people are often green smell faintly of burning meat and are known for their profoundly satirical and surreal poetry in the style of E. E. Cummings.

Fragment 17:

Herb collected his bearings and ran out of his home. He took the shortest way to his lab, which lead him through the smoking ruins of a buarn and a fumic church. There was a smell of prepetrichor in the air and the atmosphere was equally sinister and concerning. He hoped that he could stop this mad plan to kill the entire population of his planet, but he was more outraged about someone being in his lab without his permission. Herb was not an expert in siegology but he was confident he could get into his lab. He'd worked there for as long as he could remember and knew every side entrance and ventilation shaft like the back of his own palm. And he'd spent years studying the back of his palm for a research project, so he knew it very well! Herb knew he had to be careful, for all he knew there could be a zeqex waiting for him at the lab. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, but he was afraid of it.

Dipoldism

Dipoldism: noun. The act of beating or whipping dipoles. This word is not to be confused with dippoldism, which is the act of beating or whipping school children. You can imagine that confusing these two words could have dire consequences. In fact there is a case in the early 2000's in Belarus where a chemistry teacher used the word dipoldism several times in his class, but the government agency that had wired his classroom and was listening in on everything that was said mistook the word for dippoldism and the teacher was arrested and imprisoned for 300 years, without the option of being released due to his death.

Substancial

Substancial: adjective. The quality of having substance. In effect, this word is pretty much the same as the word "substantial," but it is used far less as it makes more sense. Masticate on that.