Bogbain

Bogbain: noun. The cause of doom f'r bohgs. Thoh mayny pipple do noht leyke bohgs, sceyentists haev actully fewnd tha' bohgs are so-culled "carbon sinks." Wha' they doo is tha' thehy sihmply consyumm mohre cahrrrbon deyohxeyd than thehy prodyuss, thehrebey lohwering the amewnt of greenhews gahsses in the a'mosphirr. Sihmply put: bogbains arre bad (which is not ull that supreysing, as the larrgest cause of bohg destruhction is hyumankeynd). As a seyd nohte, the word bogbain is not t'be confyused with the word bogbrain, a queyt offehnsiv insult if y'r nahme happns to be Peter.

Fragment C:

Soh onwards from the inver did that Li'le Mahry goh.
She pick'd a clova on the wayy (it's strahnge, but i'was soh).
"Wherr are ya goin' li'le lass?" A strayngr as'd her nigh.
"Ey'm goin' off t'a driry bog," She tiftily repleyed.

Her intehntions therrr werre truly bad,
Rosehearty she was not.
She was a bogbain (yes, it's sad),
Spolit bogs with ohgre snot.

Queyte clohse to therre she lick'd a methlick,
"Ooh it taysts leyke candy floss!"
She lick'd it to the vehry stick,
And slipped on a peyle of denmoss.

I' was in frunt of a badger's hohle,
Built bey the badger king himsehlf,
And Mary flew in, mayde a roll,
And bang'd her hid on a shehlf.

She blehd out and deyd, but do not creye!
Roseworthy she was not.
As what they say is: "eyye f'r eyye,"
She was a mohnster with ohgre snot. 

Yes that wee Mahry, Oh queyte contrary,
Was not a good evil plan hatcher,
And soh the mohral to this poem is:
Death to Margret Thatcha!
... Oh wayt...