Schizofernia

Schizofernia: noun. The constant feeling of paranoia stemming from the belief that all ferns are out to get you. Schizoferniacs often suffer from auditory illusions resembling the rustling of leaves and olfactory illusions resembling the fresh smell of a temperate forest in the morning. According to professors Wesley and Snipes of Dover University, Schizofernia often ends after a patient's death, though in one case out of ten, the patient still continues to complain of giant evil ferns pursuing them into the afterlife.