Tallinn

Tallinn: noun. An Estonian ubication in which weary travellers from far and wide rest for a night or two before resuming with their travels. A tallinn can be distinguished from a normal inn firstly by its height (or tallness) and secondly by the predominant language of the people in it (which, in the case that the inn is a tallinn, is usually Estonian). The fact that the capital city of Estonia is Tallinn isn't purely coincidental; the city used to be known as Reval, but since it was known mostly for its tallinns that seemed to dominate its landscape, its name was changed to Tallinn in 1917. The word tallinn was revived from its obscurity by the Asian country metal band Heavy Banjo in an addition to the song that was posted on the blog yesterday. It goes like this:

That finny finny finnn owned a highly tall tallinn,
He made a decent living selling bottles of clear gin,
Then one day in the lottery a fortune did he win,
And he never ever did return to the city of Tallinn. 

Finnn

Finnn: noun. The word Finnn is probably best explained by the song I Met a Scandinavian Fish by the Asian country metal band Heavy banjo.

There was once a Finn who had finny finny fins,
I met him on the street selling liners from robbed bins,
He had scales that dangled from his sixty seven chins,
And he greeted passers-by with all sorts of creepy grins.

Fins, Finns, Finnns, you´d do better off with skins!
A look at all you fishscaled monsters gives my head some spins!
Fins, Finns, Finnns, like a newsboard without pins!
You all look like you could be your grandma´s twins!

I approached that finny creature and I asked him of his sins,
´Cause I am pastor Joseph working at Saint Mary´s Holy Inns,
Uncomprehendingly he looked at me with eyes like violins,
And the next thing that I knew was I was clobbered by his kins-
 men

Fins, Finns, Finnns, you´d do better off with skins!
A look at all you fishscaled monsters gives my head some spins!
Fins, Finns, Finnns, like a newsboard without pins!
You all look like you could be your grandma´s twins!

Don´t ask us how one´s eyes can be like violins. The patent is someone else´s. However, have you ever tried strumming an optic nerve? Exactly. By the way, this song probably didn´t explain the word to you at all, did it? A Finnn is an inhabitant of Finland who is also a fish. Well that was simple. But you´re glad you know a new song now, right?

Lingudeath

Lingudeath: noun. This word is used to explain two different forms of quietus.

1. The death of a linguist under very specific conditions. These conditions include: the linguist must be in Liberia, he must speak 5 languages no more, no less, and one of them must be Aramaic. There are only two recorded cases of this type of lingudeath and they are both of the same person. Tevfik Esenç was a Turkish linguist who died a lingudeath twice and then finally passed away in Turkey.
2. Death by choking on linguini. In 1848 this was the most common cause of death in Italy, which is particularly interesting since the Revolutions of Italian States occurred in that year. 

Svenskerer

Svenskerer: noun. To distinguish between the root vegetable called swede, rutabaga, turnip or neep and an inhabitant of Sweden, the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language (MREL for short) proposed the name Svenskerer, deriving its name from Swedish itself, to distinguish the latter from the afore mentioned plant. However, as you can see, this name never really took off, the reason for which is that its introduction immediately sparked off the discussion as to whether it is the demonym that should change its name or the root. Some critics argued that since there are so many terms for the plant already, the name swede should just be dropped, while some stoics argued that it doesn´t really matter since no one cares about either anyway. The fierce discussion eventually led to a stalemate, but the critics of the word were soon able to push it out of common use by buying off all publishing companies around the English speaking world and banning its writing. For this, they were heavily criticised by the Nobel Prize Committee, and though there were talks of introducing an anti-prize that year for such an anti-contribution to linguistics, the idea was dropped after its main proponent died by choking on a raw herring.  

Amongst

Amongst: adjective. Describing someone who is the most among. Essentially this is used to describe a person, who is most often found amongst other people. It would be assumed that amongst would be used most often to describe extroverts, however that is not the case. Despite the common assumptions it is introverts who are most often described as amongst, since they spend a lot of time among people, but not interacting with them. The word can be used like so: "Simeon is one of the most amongst people I know.

Neitherway

Neitherway: adverb. An adverb used to reject both presented methods of doing something. It can be used by itself, but also in conjunction with its even more obscure counterpart norway, the difference in the use of which can be seen in the following sentences: "Whether we use the hamster or not, this plan is going to work neitherway" as opposed to the also possible sentence: "neitherway can we achieve this plan with a hamster, norway can we achieve it with a duck."

Fritish

Fritish: adjective. Describing someone who is both British and French. A suggestion arose in the late 20th century, that people from the islands of Guernsey and Jersey should have the official demonym be Fritish. The islands held a referendum to decide whether or not to adopt this suggestion. However this referendum, which cost a staggering £34,432,000, had only one vote in favour. It was later discovered that this vote came from a local cat, which then ran for Supreme Overlord the following year.

Denmarket

Denmarket: noun. A denmarket is a very popular modern day phenomenon amongst socially mobile badgers from higher income backgrounds. It is basically the badgers´ equivalent of our market for houses, although the badger system is far more organised and systematic than the sporadic sale of plots of land as is common in human societies. What is particular about the denmarket is that it is a Turkish-style centralised bazaar which badgers from all around the region visit to see the mudprints (equivalent of our blueprints) of their potential dens and where they can make payments on the spot with truffles, insects or other valuable objects. The den they leave is then left over to either their offspring, the elderly or the less socially privileged who are cared for thus by the highly dependable social system highly characteristic of the Nordic regions.  

Ingermane

Ingermane: adjective. Something that is not relevant. It doesn´t matter if the thing that it is irrelevant to has previously been named, as being ingermane is absolutely normal and in no way derogatory. For example, it is as valid to say that "this horse is ingermane to our discussion" as it is to say that "this horse is ingermane." It is then up to the disgression of the participant in the conversation to determine what exactly the horse is ingermane to, let alone why it is so. Contrary to popular belief, the word ingermane did not originate from the negation of the word germane. It was created completely independently by Helmuth von Moltke who, at being questioned about his alteration of the Schlieffen plan, retorted "let us focus on our own frontiers. The Netherlands are ingermane." Some historians argue that Moltke did not actually mean to say that the Netherlands were impertinent (as they were quite pertinent indeed), but that they were simply "not German" and neutral, which is why attacking them or somehow involving them in the plot wouldn´t have been strategically wise.

Cauliraddish

Cauliraddish: noun. The newest and oldest breed of vegetable to ever come from Bhutan. The cauliraddish was a vegetable that grew in the harsh ecosystem of Bhutan in roughly 2000 BCE, however it was over-farmed and went extinct. However in recent years geneticists from Bhutan found some remnant DNA of the vegetable and successfully recreated it in their laboratories. They have now begun the redistribution of the vegetable in the local farms, hoping that one day the cauliraddish will be the only vegetable in the entire world. The taste of the vegetable has been described as bitter-sweet with an aromatic-pungent smell. The word has mostly been used in the following sentence: "I don't want the delicious cauliraddish soup I made, it's disgusting."

Austriere

Today is day of poetry,
And that is why you soon will see,
That even on our blog do we,
Use rhyme to tell our word to yee.

The word's an adjectival one,
It's not a very clever pun,
So hold your hat and grab a chair,
The word today is Austriere.

This word was coined in God knows when,
In a garden of a Zen Cheyenne,
Who knew but of a single man,
Whose skin was white and hardly tan.

He called him Heinz and he was dumb,
His lederhosen burnt his bum,
His mouth was ever full of gum,
Because of which his lips were numb.

But anyway what means this word?
It's flighty as a little bird,
To say the truth, we wouldn't know,
We can't be bothered, that is so.  

Starcasm

Starcasm: noun. A sharply ironical taunt which is related to astronomy. Starcasm is extremely popular amongst amateur astronomers and someone who wants to avoid it should stay away from telescope shops. Examples of starcasm include: "Of course there's only one moon in the sky." and "That's not a red supergiant." The first reported use of starcasm was by William Hershel, when while living at his parents' house he proclaimed: "Hey mom, I found Uranus." Interestingly this later proved to be true. The highest concentration of starcasm has been recorded at the opening-ceremony of the "Extremely Large Telescope" in Chile. The word can be used in the following way: "Urbain Le Verrier was best known for his frequent use of starcasm."

Thesbian

Thesbian: adjective. Something pertaining to drama and the theatre that is also, in some way, of an untraditional orientation, whether this orientation is sexual or simply direction-related. For example, an actor facing the wrong direction while acting (i.e. away from the audience) is thesbian to the same degree as an actor who is far too keen on chicken. This word never really originated. Rather, it was discovered in the same way mathematical formulas are discovered and if anyone ever comes to question this explanation, they should think about their life and deliberate on whether there is anything else on which their time would be better spent. The word thesbian can be used in simple sentences like the following: "mum, dad, random smiling stranger, I´m a thesbian." 

Sophisticity

Sophisticity: noun. The aura of cleverness around a particularly intelligent or obnoxious person. Sophisticity is also often accompanied by snide remarks, long and boring speeches, lectures, bow-ties, tweed, humour, witty remarks, poignant comments and sarcasm. The word was first used and is most commonly quoted from the works of the overly-disregarded and more-credit-deserving author William Fawkner. In his first novel Fawkner wrote: "As the man glided into the park with a bouncy step, the sun reflected off his spotless shoes and the rim of his well-worn hat turned towards the pleasant heat, his sophisticity perfused the trees and greens, lifting the overall spirit of all his fellow park-goers."

Swiss

Swiss: verb. Swissing is the exact opposite of worrying - it is a state of complete and purposeful nonchalance about a certain topic or all topics in general. The word can be used in different contexts like the following: "Aware that Othello and Desdemona would end up dead by the end of the play, Angela decided to swiss about their fates in order to forego any emotional attachment and pending disappointment."

Itally

Itally: noun. Contrary to popular belief, itally is not a traditional Mediterranean dish or a tally total of people with no gender. In reality, an itally is a potentially disloyal ally, hence the fact that it is derived from the words "it" and "ally." Of course, you may wonder how "it" has anything to do with being potentially disloyal. Let us explain: though a native English speaker may have some trouble understanding this, the "it" refers to the linguistic gender separate from male and female; the neuter, for example "das" in German. Funnily enough, Italians don´t actually use the neuter, which means that the language of origin wasn´t Italian, but German, and though it isn´t the only language that uses the neuter, it is clear that the Germans had most reason to coin this word. It was after the First World War (in which the Italians joined Britain and France despite having a separate agreement with the Central Powers) that an enraged German diplomat quite offensively called the Italians itallies in reference to their unclear loyalties. Little did he know that a similar occurrence would take place through the course of the Second World War too (in fact, he would never know, as he died of thalassaemia the following year while on a holiday in Cyprus). Although much of this diplomat´s political career rests in obscurity, his unknown name will forever be remembered for this man´s great contribution to the English language. 

Shoow

Shoow: noun. The animal produced when a cow and a sheep are crossbred. Shoows were initially created in Sheffield Laboratory in the early 1990's. Since then they have all been transported to John o'Groats, where they have become the most populous type of farm animal in the area. The animals have been described as "large, surprisingly fluffy and highly vicious". The animals are actually incredibly useful and there are many high-ranking intellectuals, who are trying to push for greater implementation of shoows, since the animals provide wool, leather, button, and milk. An example sentence is: "The farmer tended to his shoows first and then the pigs.

Haamsterdamp

Haamsterdamp: Adjective. A word used to convey the stuffiness of a room or general area that is home to rodents of any size like (but not limited to) mice, rats, guinea pigs, squirrels, porcupines, beavers, capybaras and of course hamsters. The word originated from the Great Mini-Zoo Encyclopaedia of Johannes Baaron van der Aaantwerpdorf, where it was used in the following sentence: "If you ever find thaat aa room is raather haamsterdamp, you will do best to open a window."  

Outvite

Outvite: verb. To request leaving or exiting in a kindly, courteous or complimentary manner, especially to request to go away as far as possible. Outviting is a type of euphemism, which has become increasingly more popular as the general crassness of the world has increased on a logarithmic scale. Outviting was considered incredibly rude in the Middle Ages and one who performed could be executed on the spot, which is actually how Hamlet Sr. died. In fact it was considered much more polite to say: "Get out of my *^&$*$£ house you ^£R@, before I £^!@ your ^£% with my &$%@&$@ hammer. " This word can be used in a sentence for example like this: "My friend outvited George by saying: 'Would you kindly leave and never return now? Thanks.'"

Belugum

Belugum: noun. Belugum is a very popular meal in Brussels made from the masticated and regurgitated remnants of arctic cod and other fish eaten by beluga whales. It is always served cold and usually goes with a side-dish of fried fish bones and soggy seaweed; altogether, it is considered a major delicacy and is described by major aficionados as "tasty." One may, however, ask how this regurgitated material is obtained. That question, of course, has a very simple answer. So simple, in fact, that we can't be bothered to explain it on this blog. Suffice it to say that marine zoo keepers in the Brussels zoo have purchased large stomach pumps and bin liners with several shadily obtained grants from the European Union. The word could be used in simple, commonplace sentences like the following: "I like Belugum."     

Granding

Granding: noun. The process of making something grand. This is the most fundamental idea of architecture and an entire term of university courses in Architecture is spent on granding. This process has been employed by architects worldwide in such projects as the renovation of St. Peter's Basilica and the construction of the Eiffel Tower, which in reality is simply a granded pile of puddled iron. This word can be used in a sentence such as: "The architect used granding on the pile of bricks and a decent house appeared in a cloud of diction.

Squarify

Squarify: verb. To make into a square. This does not mean to square a number, instead it is for example the adding of a side to a triangle, thereby making a square, or in other words squarifying the triangle. Squarifying has become significantly less popular in recent years, especially due to the mathematical crisis, which almost resulted in the collapse of geometry. Some heinous errors were made when someone squarified a hendecagon and these results were accepted, entirely over-turning mathematical foundation. Using this horrifying mistake geometricians successfully proved that 1+1= -1, which lead to an outrage of pure mathematicians, who attacked the geometricians with integrals, Goldbach's conjecture, as well as Fermat's Last Theorem. The geometricians retorted with vectors, complex planes as well as tesseracts. Eventually the conflict died down and the Peace of Square Islands, Canada.

Porkes

Porkes: noun. The plural form of pork. There is only one famous reference in all of history to this word, and that is in relation to Dude Porkes. Dude Porkes was a famous anti-republican and imperialist, who attempted to blow up the U.S. Congress. However his ploy was foiled and he ended up serving 12 separate death sentences. The celebration of the foiling of his cunning plan has lead to the establishment of National Bacon Day, which is celebrated right between Independence Day and Thanksgiving.

Dangel

Dangel: noun. An angel of danger; in essence the little dude that sits on your shoulder and goes: "Do it! See what happens! It's not like someone's gonna die in an explosion..." Referenced several times in mythology and literature, they were once mislabeled as satyrs, which greatly insulted them and lead to the demise of dinosaurs. Some people attempt to link dangels to Thanatos, but he has denied all such accusations and claims. At least it's assumed that's what happened since Sisyphos hasn't been heard from since.

Metermetre

Metermetre: noun. A measuring tool used to measure units. The authors of this blog interviewed a prominent scientist to explain the idea of a metermetre to the readers. If we exclude all the complicated sciency talk the key words that remain are: "the", "clandestine", and "anthropomorphism". Obviously one could ask what the use of a metermetre is, but a person like that would simply be short-sighted and narrow-minded, with no vision of the future and practically no right to exist on this planet. Yes, we know that escalated quickly.

Belade

Belade: verb. To unload (a ship of a different vessel). It has been determined that this is the only word, which has only ever been said on a port. Therefore this is also a very important Public Service Announcement to the reader of this blog, that he is encouraged to read this post virtually anywhere, but we beg you, do not speak this out loud, unless you are in port. The results could be catastrophic, anything from a global tsunami to the death of a cricket in Taiwan.

Teasue

Teasue: noun. This word has two very specific meanings, which are defined below:

1. The material most commonly used to make teabags. The greatest exporter of this is Mannar Island, which has its economy based on teasues. This actually makes a large amount of sense, due to the proximity of Sri Lanka and its tea export and production. 
2. A problem with a tea. The tea does not have to be anything specific and can be virtually any blend or type. This problem can also be of many varieties, for example the tea being too sweet, spicy, cold, flavourless or bug-infested. It is widely known that any teasues should be reported to the Tea Etiquette Association (TEA), so that it can be dealt with. 

Insmellful

Insmellful: adjective. Describing something, which is of great importance and relevance in very specific situations. As the attentive reader may have realised, this word is very close to insightful, in that it begins with "in" and ends with "ful". There are some dubious claims to other similarities between the words, but those will be disregarder for the sake of professionalism of this blog. Insmellful is quite often used in court in sentences such as: "This piece of evidence is quite insmellful." or "The victim is insmellful to the case."

Luxem

Luxem: noun. The origins of the word luxem are unknown, but it is commonly acknowledged that they are somehow connected to the word "lux," a measurement of illuminance (illuminance of light, that is, not the illuminance of the illuminati). Luxem is read similarly to the word "lux," but with a softer "u," like the one one would get when saying the words "moo," "pour," "soup" or "boot." What the word meant was an absolute mystery until the early half of the nineteenth century, when hotels started using the title "deluxe" in connection with their own names. This then led to a rapid spread of the word luxe, further prompting owners of hotels in Luxembourg to accept the bad pun "de Luxem" as a part of their national heritage. In fact, this mania of spreading the bad pun around different hotels eventually led to the renaming of the country from the simple (and very unimaginative) name of "Bourg" to the name "Luxembourg," giving foreigners the sense of just how luxem the entire country is.  

Kneecosier

Kneecosier: adjective. There are several possible definitions for the word Kneecosier, although only a few are considered remotely plausible. No one actually knows why the word is here, as no records exist about it and the only way the authors of this blog know that it is real is because of a letter in which there was no definition for it given. What it did say though, was that they we should add this word to the blog and that is exactly what we did. During a meeting in the middle of the night (where way too much coffee was consumed), our team came up with two remotely plausible definitions:
1. A degree of how cosy one´s knee is. In such case, the word would probably be derived from My Fair Lady, where someone´s head resting on her knee was rather cosy, but would be cosier on the top of someone´s neck.
2. A very disgustingly ... disgusting and deviated way of writing Nicosia, probably hinting at knee problems that many of its inhabitants suffer from.  

Elefantary

Elefantary: adjective. The most basic of concepts, which relate to elephants. This can, but doesn't have to include elephants eating, breeding, sleeping, walking, stamping, you get the idea. It's well known that the famous elephant-tamer Shertrunk Holes often said his catchphrase: "It's elefanary, my dear Walkson." The international association of apes and associated mammals, which is based in Barbados, has appealed to the Unites Nations several times about the heinous discrimination of other mammals, which aren't elephants and don't have an appropriate adjective to use in a catchphrase. In 1943 the Penguins of the North Pole united and started a global campaign to make the word "penguinary" become common-speech, but this endeavour hit rocky shores, when all the penguins were killed by the Great Sea-lion Disaster of Madagascar.