Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Volumism

Volumism: noun. A world view that states that the truth of something is relative to its volume. People who follow this belief system believe that they can make something true by saying it loudly; if this doesn’t work it is a sign to them that someone must have said a conflicting statement even louder. Volumists will also believe in things that make loud noises, for example: A volumist will believe without any doubt in the existence of ambulances, but only while there is an emergency. Very strong believers in volumism often end up running into walls in belief that they don’t exist because they are not loud enough. Upon hearing a loud enough thud from the collision some will conclude that someone yelled “Walls exist!” too loudly, while others may yell “Walls do not exist!” at an increasing volume and try again.

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