Coiner

Coiner: noun. A person who coins words for a living. There have been many coiners throughout the course of English and world history, the most famous one probably being William Shakespeare, closely followed by Lewis Carroll and Jane Austen. The last name on this list may come as a surprise to some, but although this fact is little known, Jane Austen was an ardent coiner, with nearly two hundred contributions to the English language, some of which were or will be described in this enlightening blog. In this aspect, Jane Austen was quite similar to Lewis Carroll, who had actually coined the word coiner himself while serving as the head of the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language responsible for a vast variety of new words (most of which had sadly never caught on). 

Thime

Thime noun. A very specific time. An abbreviation of the phrase "the time". This word can only be used if the person speaking knows this exact time to the nearest 32 seconds. If the person does not know the time exactly, he must refrain from using the word and instead must use the phrase "the time". This word was first used by Harry S. Truman, when he learned that Franklin Delano Roosevelt had died. Truman was famous for abbreviating and shortening. The "S" in his name stood for "S."

Palindromemordnilap

Palindromemordnilap: noun. A word that is read the same way from the front to the back as from the back to the front. This word came into existence after an attempt by several linguists to rationalise the English language and to create a correlation between the meanings of different words and the way they sound. Palindromemordnilap was, of course, an elaboration on the word palindrome, which had absolutely nothing lacipalindromemordnilapical about it and it was coined by Lewis Carroll over his morning cup of coffee with pills and sedatives.  

Anxietate

Anxietate verb. To cause anxiety in a person, place or thing. One must currently be present in a person, place or thing to be able to anxietate. One can also only cause anxiety by anxietating in a person, place or thing. Abstract nouns are therefore not viable for anxietation. One must however be very carefully when one anxietates, for one can anxietate himself, which is considered an unpleasant experience. The word was first used by Sarah Perdee Winchester, when she discussed the upcoming plans for her mansion.

Dawking

Dawking: verb. The action of insulting a wide range of religious people by irrevocable dawkery. The person who popularised dawking and forever immortalised this word is known in religious communities by the titles “the one whose name must not be mentioned” and “the one who shall suffer God´s wrath.” Though it may sound elementary, dawking is actually not as easy as some people make it look. To be an effective dawker, one has to master the discipline of arrogance and narcissism, but at the same time, one has to make sure that their observations are made in a field that they cannot possibly comprehend.  

Antideunindisnonnegativism

Antideunnidisnonnegativism noun. A philosphic ideology, which when believed in, means that a person is unwilling or unable to be negative in any way. One is unable to be negative to any person, place or thing. The ideology was created and the word coined by Tristan Tzara, after he became tired of his previous ideology, which he created, Dadaism. The ideology of dadaism involved the word "nothing" a lot.

Bourghery

Bourghery: noun. An action that by no means lacks condescension and self-sufficiency, which can only be undertaken by a person of rank. The word Boughery was first used by the first priest of the Lady Catherine Bourgh Denomination, Mr William Collins, who managed to introduce it in the most servile language possible, saying that her Ladyship´s condescension is “the most Bourgherious Bourghery, which makes Lady Catherine de Bourgh so Bourghy.” This quote was of course crossed out of the first edition of Jane Austen´s Pride and Prejudice, but a copy of the original novel with several passages never seen before had been rediscovered by Howard Carter, who found the first manuscript in the tomb of some pharaoh. These passages included Lady Catherine´s journey to outer space and Darcy´s adventure in the centre of the Earth.

Banananaing

Banananaing: verb.  Singing and choking on a banana at the same time. Contrary to popular belief, one can bananana because of many reasons and on many different occasions. Though it may seem slightly improbable that one could even dare to sing and choke on a banana at the same time, it is not that hard to do. Scientists in Central Park Zoo observed that when courting to females, many chimpanzees ended up bananaing, because of the wooing traditions that usually accompany this ceremony – a female chimpanzee usually expects her future mate to bring her a banana and sing her a song before moving on to the next base. Due to the selfishness of chimpanzee males, many of them end up giving in to their greed and gulp down the banana while singing right in front of the female they are trying to woo.      

Gazebio

Gazebio noun. A large wooden structure, which often stands in gardens. Not to be confused with a gazebo, as the gazebio is also an excellent footballer and cannot only be approached by one person alone. The word was first used by William Halfpenny, when he misspoke.

Unreaping

Unreaping: verb. The action of gluing the reaped parts of a crop back onto where they grew from. This is very practical when harvesting crops too early or when wanting to give plants a chance to grow a bit further before they are unmercifully torn out of the ground and turned into consumer goods. Unreaping was, as the Texan legend says, invented by a rather simple and dim-witted farmer who tried to harvest his wheat a whole month early. Realising his mistake only after stashing all of the wheat up in the barn, the farmer took it out again and purchased two barrels of superglue. He then proceeded to find the stalk of each plant and stuck the crop back on there. By the time he finished, it was already winter and all of his crops froze, leaving the farmer to contemplate the unfairness of unequal IQ distribution.