Non-uninflammable

Non-uninflammable: adjective. Being easily lit on fire. From a utilitarian perspective, this word is absolutely unusable, as two other very similar words of the same meaning already exist – flammable and inflammable. However, non-uninflammable offers many opportunities for a person to sound posh and well-educated, especially when augmented by words like interrotarycerebralvision and trigotry. The history of this word dates back to the time when the insane French custom of lighting pancakes on fire was invented. According to a few books covered in cobwebs, the French would keep the trick with flaming food a secret by always labelling it non-uninflammable. This way, people would stare at the name of the food trying to figure out what it meant for so long, that the waiters of the restaurant where it was served managed to pick their pockets and then accuse them of not coming to their restaurant with money – a capital offence in France.