Browngrocer

Browngrocer: noun. A man who sells vegetables that are predominantly brown in colour, usually because of rotting. Unlike a greengrocer who sells all vegetables green or not, a browngrocer is bound by the law (Paragraph 26, line 2) to sell exclusively brown vegetables and can be given an unlimited fine for disobeying this law. In most cases, the gravity of this crime is judged by how much of the vegetable is brown. Anywhere from 95 to 100 per cent is deemed perfect by the law. In between 80 and 95 per cent, the browngrocer has to throw the vegetable away. 60 to 70 per cent brown-coverage can result in a court case and anything below 60 leads to the already mentioned unlimited fine and the confiscation of the browngrocer´s licence. Oddly enough, there are no other colours accepted by international law that restrict the variety of vegetables one can sell. After all, having a yellowgrocer wouldn´t really work, would it?