Draculaic

Draculaic: adjective. Something/someone that/who is infamous for being cruel past human comprehension and/or likes to suck blood, whether that is figurative or not. One person known for being quite Draculaic is Dracula, also known as Vlad the Impaler. Interestingly though, he is not regarded as Draculaic in his home country Romania, where he is revered as the protector of the people. Another historical figure who could be regarded as Draculaic is Nicolae Ceaușescu, who figuratively sucked the blood of his own country, leaving it financially devastated.

Disclaimer: The fact that both Vlad the Impaler and Nicolae Ceaușescu are of Romanian nationality is purely coincidental. The authors of this blog would like to say that we are not picking on Romanians, but our utterly random generator for Draculaic personalities gave us these two and that´s that. 

An example of this word in context is the following: "my mother-in-law is Draculaic. So is this leech stuck on my forehead and this vampire bat happily sucking away on my backside."

Kraine

Kraine: noun. The word kraine is a common insult among ornithologists often said to people who are skinny, tall and have bendy necks. It actually used to be a compliment, as being tall and moderately thin was always something a person could be proud of, especially when coupled with moderately good elasticity. However, after the year 1938 when a certain tall and skinny politician bent over 270 degrees into his own rear end, the word turned into a very grave insult and it wasn't until now when some historians have tried to rehabilitate this politician that the word was tuned down from harshly offensive to only very offensive. It is the sad fate of the Ukrainians that they named their country while the word was still a compliment.

Volumism

Volumism: noun. A world view that states that the truth of something is relative to its volume. People who follow this belief system believe that they can make something true by saying it loudly; if this doesn’t work it is a sign to them that someone must have said a conflicting statement even louder. Volumists will also believe in things that make loud noises, for example: A volumist will believe without any doubt in the existence of ambulances, but only while there is an emergency. Very strong believers in volumism often end up running into walls in belief that they don’t exist because they are not loud enough. Upon hearing a loud enough thud from the collision some will conclude that someone yelled “Walls exist!” too loudly, while others may yell “Walls do not exist!” at an increasing volume and try again.

Minsk

Minsk: interjection. An exclamation of content from satisfying one´s hunger, minsk is often used in formal contexts where the expressions munch munch munch and gobble gobble gobble are deemed socially unacceptable. A member of a polished society will always replace these vulgar words with the understated and well bred minsk, followed by a very little cough and a delicate wiping of his or her mouth with an even more delicate handkerchief. The word can be used in quite elaborate sentences like the following: "Oh minsk, I am satiated!"

Mosscow

Mosscow: verb. It has recently been found by a group of Bibliologists studying old engravings on stone tablets buried all around the Desert of Sinai that the Ten Commandments as given to Moses had, in fact, been misspelt by a scribe copying them down, concretely articles 3 and 10, which were written down wrongly to such a degree that their meanings were completely changed. Originally, article 3 wasn´t about taking the Lord´s name in vain, but about not doing intravenous drugs. Similarly, article 10 wasn´t about coveting thy neighbour´s ox, but about covering thy neighbour´s ox, which makes all the difference in the world. Article 10 was actually a quite clever play on words that God left in to amuse Moses and his people. It served as a warning against covering the heads and faces of women (as was the custom of some tribes in the region), whom God wittily referred to as cows (as is the common practice today). It also paralleled another custom common amongst the old tribes, which was mosscowing, the ritual covering of cows with moss that God disapproved of. Modern Bibliologists explain God´s disapproval of this practice quite simply. Apparently, it was originally devised as a means to provide camouflage for cows in lush green places, but in the desert, it seemed rather redundant and in fact counterproductive to have cows "camouflaged" by running around sandy dunes with vibrant green colours exposing them to raiders from miles away.   

Stough

Stough: noun. This word sure looks like it should be a word, doesn´t it? Well in fact it is a word and its definitions, according to Webster´s Dictionary of Unnecessary Words are the following:
1. Dough inside a stove.
2. Dough outside a stove.
3. Stowed away dough.
4. Not stowed away dough.
5. A stove in a trough.
6. A stove not in a trough.
7. A stove in dough.
8. A stove not in dough.
The outdated word also used to be an adjective in some contexts, but its pronunciation wasn´t the same. While a stough is pronounced in a way that makes it rhyme with "slow," the adjective stough ends in the same sound as the word tough. In its adjectival form, stough usually pertains to something that is durable while sticky and runny. It can also denote a person who is sticky and runny, for example a running stickman.   

Nerb

Nerb: noun. According to skilled gamers (by whom this word was created), a nerb is a cross between a so-called noob and a so-called nerd. While a noob is someone who is not skilled at doing something (in other words a dilettante), a nerd is someone who goes out of his way to succeed at something through means that others find repulsive, i.e. compulsive studying. In the gamers´ world, therefore, a nerb is someone who, despite excessively studying the theory of game-play, "sucks" when it comes to playing the game itself. The word can be used in elaborate sentences like the following: "U nerb get out of the way," "Pls u stupid nerb, kill the tower, not the minions" or perhaps "Only nerbs would use a charmander against a venusaur," although the likelihood of someone even contemplating doing the last thing on the list is unimaginably low.  

Vilnious

Vilnious: adjective. This word has two commonly accepted definitions which are quite often confused. They are the following:
1. Something that pertains to the city of Vilnius.  
2. Something that has villainous qualities and pertains to the Baltic in some way or another.
Obviously, these definitions can overlap. In fact, if they were written mathematically where the former was represented by "a" and the latter by "b," we could express their relationship as "a is a subset of b." An example of how to use this word in a sentence is: "The Prime Minister of Lithuania has expressed concern that Putin is up to something quite Vilnious."

Lat

Lat: verb. To lat is to fail, spoil or destroy either oneself, another person or an object. The word was invented in connection with the absolutely incomprehensible move by the Latvian government in exchanging one of the most stable and valuable currencies in the world for the Euro, which the English speaking part of the Lithuanian press commented on with the headline: "Latvians lament the latted Lat." The verb lat itself is quite difficult to use in sentences. In fact, the Lithuanian newspaper used it incorrectly, but given it was the word's first occurrence in modern history, it's not much of a tragedy. The declensions go like this: I lat, you let, he/she lits, we latten, you (pl) letter, they litten. However, in the past tense, the word takes the form of: I lut, you lout, he/she lot, we lutted, you (pl) louted, they lotted.

Deceleration

Deceleration: noun. The process of turning a battery, which had been turned into a celery, back into a celery, that is if the original transformation had been successful and the battery did indeed become a celery. Deceleration is an extremely complicated process and all the steps must be undertaken with extreme care. It is also important to make sure that the celery one is trying to convert into a battery was indeed at one point a battery. If deceleration was performed on a celery which is only a celery, it could have consequences ranging from the mass extinction of all celery in the world to a polar bear dying in Qatar. Deceleration can only be performed in labs which have been authorised to perform the procedure and a special machine, known as a decelerator, must be used to ensure that all occurs in the proper order and without any problems along the way.

Tallinn

Tallinn: noun. An Estonian ubication in which weary travellers from far and wide rest for a night or two before resuming with their travels. A tallinn can be distinguished from a normal inn firstly by its height (or tallness) and secondly by the predominant language of the people in it (which, in the case that the inn is a tallinn, is usually Estonian). The fact that the capital city of Estonia is Tallinn isn't purely coincidental; the city used to be known as Reval, but since it was known mostly for its tallinns that seemed to dominate its landscape, its name was changed to Tallinn in 1917. The word tallinn was revived from its obscurity by the Asian country metal band Heavy Banjo in an addition to the song that was posted on the blog yesterday. It goes like this:

That finny finny finnn owned a highly tall tallinn,
He made a decent living selling bottles of clear gin,
Then one day in the lottery a fortune did he win,
And he never ever did return to the city of Tallinn. 

Finnn

Finnn: noun. The word Finnn is probably best explained by the song I Met a Scandinavian Fish by the Asian country metal band Heavy banjo.

There was once a Finn who had finny finny fins,
I met him on the street selling liners from robbed bins,
He had scales that dangled from his sixty seven chins,
And he greeted passers-by with all sorts of creepy grins.

Fins, Finns, Finnns, you´d do better off with skins!
A look at all you fishscaled monsters gives my head some spins!
Fins, Finns, Finnns, like a newsboard without pins!
You all look like you could be your grandma´s twins!

I approached that finny creature and I asked him of his sins,
´Cause I am pastor Joseph working at Saint Mary´s Holy Inns,
Uncomprehendingly he looked at me with eyes like violins,
And the next thing that I knew was I was clobbered by his kins-
 men

Fins, Finns, Finnns, you´d do better off with skins!
A look at all you fishscaled monsters gives my head some spins!
Fins, Finns, Finnns, like a newsboard without pins!
You all look like you could be your grandma´s twins!

Don´t ask us how one´s eyes can be like violins. The patent is someone else´s. However, have you ever tried strumming an optic nerve? Exactly. By the way, this song probably didn´t explain the word to you at all, did it? A Finnn is an inhabitant of Finland who is also a fish. Well that was simple. But you´re glad you know a new song now, right?

Lingudeath

Lingudeath: noun. This word is used to explain two different forms of quietus.

1. The death of a linguist under very specific conditions. These conditions include: the linguist must be in Liberia, he must speak 5 languages no more, no less, and one of them must be Aramaic. There are only two recorded cases of this type of lingudeath and they are both of the same person. Tevfik Esenç was a Turkish linguist who died a lingudeath twice and then finally passed away in Turkey.
2. Death by choking on linguini. In 1848 this was the most common cause of death in Italy, which is particularly interesting since the Revolutions of Italian States occurred in that year. 

Svenskerer

Svenskerer: noun. To distinguish between the root vegetable called swede, rutabaga, turnip or neep and an inhabitant of Sweden, the Movement for the Rationalisation of the English Language (MREL for short) proposed the name Svenskerer, deriving its name from Swedish itself, to distinguish the latter from the afore mentioned plant. However, as you can see, this name never really took off, the reason for which is that its introduction immediately sparked off the discussion as to whether it is the demonym that should change its name or the root. Some critics argued that since there are so many terms for the plant already, the name swede should just be dropped, while some stoics argued that it doesn´t really matter since no one cares about either anyway. The fierce discussion eventually led to a stalemate, but the critics of the word were soon able to push it out of common use by buying off all publishing companies around the English speaking world and banning its writing. For this, they were heavily criticised by the Nobel Prize Committee, and though there were talks of introducing an anti-prize that year for such an anti-contribution to linguistics, the idea was dropped after its main proponent died by choking on a raw herring.  

Amongst

Amongst: adjective. Describing someone who is the most among. Essentially this is used to describe a person, who is most often found amongst other people. It would be assumed that amongst would be used most often to describe extroverts, however that is not the case. Despite the common assumptions it is introverts who are most often described as amongst, since they spend a lot of time among people, but not interacting with them. The word can be used like so: "Simeon is one of the most amongst people I know.

Neitherway

Neitherway: adverb. An adverb used to reject both presented methods of doing something. It can be used by itself, but also in conjunction with its even more obscure counterpart norway, the difference in the use of which can be seen in the following sentences: "Whether we use the hamster or not, this plan is going to work neitherway" as opposed to the also possible sentence: "neitherway can we achieve this plan with a hamster, norway can we achieve it with a duck."

Fritish

Fritish: adjective. Describing someone who is both British and French. A suggestion arose in the late 20th century, that people from the islands of Guernsey and Jersey should have the official demonym be Fritish. The islands held a referendum to decide whether or not to adopt this suggestion. However this referendum, which cost a staggering £34,432,000, had only one vote in favour. It was later discovered that this vote came from a local cat, which then ran for Supreme Overlord the following year.

Denmarket

Denmarket: noun. A denmarket is a very popular modern day phenomenon amongst socially mobile badgers from higher income backgrounds. It is basically the badgers´ equivalent of our market for houses, although the badger system is far more organised and systematic than the sporadic sale of plots of land as is common in human societies. What is particular about the denmarket is that it is a Turkish-style centralised bazaar which badgers from all around the region visit to see the mudprints (equivalent of our blueprints) of their potential dens and where they can make payments on the spot with truffles, insects or other valuable objects. The den they leave is then left over to either their offspring, the elderly or the less socially privileged who are cared for thus by the highly dependable social system highly characteristic of the Nordic regions.  

Ingermane

Ingermane: adjective. Something that is not relevant. It doesn´t matter if the thing that it is irrelevant to has previously been named, as being ingermane is absolutely normal and in no way derogatory. For example, it is as valid to say that "this horse is ingermane to our discussion" as it is to say that "this horse is ingermane." It is then up to the disgression of the participant in the conversation to determine what exactly the horse is ingermane to, let alone why it is so. Contrary to popular belief, the word ingermane did not originate from the negation of the word germane. It was created completely independently by Helmuth von Moltke who, at being questioned about his alteration of the Schlieffen plan, retorted "let us focus on our own frontiers. The Netherlands are ingermane." Some historians argue that Moltke did not actually mean to say that the Netherlands were impertinent (as they were quite pertinent indeed), but that they were simply "not German" and neutral, which is why attacking them or somehow involving them in the plot wouldn´t have been strategically wise.

Cauliraddish

Cauliraddish: noun. The newest and oldest breed of vegetable to ever come from Bhutan. The cauliraddish was a vegetable that grew in the harsh ecosystem of Bhutan in roughly 2000 BCE, however it was over-farmed and went extinct. However in recent years geneticists from Bhutan found some remnant DNA of the vegetable and successfully recreated it in their laboratories. They have now begun the redistribution of the vegetable in the local farms, hoping that one day the cauliraddish will be the only vegetable in the entire world. The taste of the vegetable has been described as bitter-sweet with an aromatic-pungent smell. The word has mostly been used in the following sentence: "I don't want the delicious cauliraddish soup I made, it's disgusting."

Austriere

Today is day of poetry,
And that is why you soon will see,
That even on our blog do we,
Use rhyme to tell our word to yee.

The word's an adjectival one,
It's not a very clever pun,
So hold your hat and grab a chair,
The word today is Austriere.

This word was coined in God knows when,
In a garden of a Zen Cheyenne,
Who knew but of a single man,
Whose skin was white and hardly tan.

He called him Heinz and he was dumb,
His lederhosen burnt his bum,
His mouth was ever full of gum,
Because of which his lips were numb.

But anyway what means this word?
It's flighty as a little bird,
To say the truth, we wouldn't know,
We can't be bothered, that is so.  

Starcasm

Starcasm: noun. A sharply ironical taunt which is related to astronomy. Starcasm is extremely popular amongst amateur astronomers and someone who wants to avoid it should stay away from telescope shops. Examples of starcasm include: "Of course there's only one moon in the sky." and "That's not a red supergiant." The first reported use of starcasm was by William Hershel, when while living at his parents' house he proclaimed: "Hey mom, I found Uranus." Interestingly this later proved to be true. The highest concentration of starcasm has been recorded at the opening-ceremony of the "Extremely Large Telescope" in Chile. The word can be used in the following way: "Urbain Le Verrier was best known for his frequent use of starcasm."

Thesbian

Thesbian: adjective. Something pertaining to drama and the theatre that is also, in some way, of an untraditional orientation, whether this orientation is sexual or simply direction-related. For example, an actor facing the wrong direction while acting (i.e. away from the audience) is thesbian to the same degree as an actor who is far too keen on chicken. This word never really originated. Rather, it was discovered in the same way mathematical formulas are discovered and if anyone ever comes to question this explanation, they should think about their life and deliberate on whether there is anything else on which their time would be better spent. The word thesbian can be used in simple sentences like the following: "mum, dad, random smiling stranger, I´m a thesbian." 

Sophisticity

Sophisticity: noun. The aura of cleverness around a particularly intelligent or obnoxious person. Sophisticity is also often accompanied by snide remarks, long and boring speeches, lectures, bow-ties, tweed, humour, witty remarks, poignant comments and sarcasm. The word was first used and is most commonly quoted from the works of the overly-disregarded and more-credit-deserving author William Fawkner. In his first novel Fawkner wrote: "As the man glided into the park with a bouncy step, the sun reflected off his spotless shoes and the rim of his well-worn hat turned towards the pleasant heat, his sophisticity perfused the trees and greens, lifting the overall spirit of all his fellow park-goers."

Swiss

Swiss: verb. Swissing is the exact opposite of worrying - it is a state of complete and purposeful nonchalance about a certain topic or all topics in general. The word can be used in different contexts like the following: "Aware that Othello and Desdemona would end up dead by the end of the play, Angela decided to swiss about their fates in order to forego any emotional attachment and pending disappointment."

Itally

Itally: noun. Contrary to popular belief, itally is not a traditional Mediterranean dish or a tally total of people with no gender. In reality, an itally is a potentially disloyal ally, hence the fact that it is derived from the words "it" and "ally." Of course, you may wonder how "it" has anything to do with being potentially disloyal. Let us explain: though a native English speaker may have some trouble understanding this, the "it" refers to the linguistic gender separate from male and female; the neuter, for example "das" in German. Funnily enough, Italians don´t actually use the neuter, which means that the language of origin wasn´t Italian, but German, and though it isn´t the only language that uses the neuter, it is clear that the Germans had most reason to coin this word. It was after the First World War (in which the Italians joined Britain and France despite having a separate agreement with the Central Powers) that an enraged German diplomat quite offensively called the Italians itallies in reference to their unclear loyalties. Little did he know that a similar occurrence would take place through the course of the Second World War too (in fact, he would never know, as he died of thalassaemia the following year while on a holiday in Cyprus). Although much of this diplomat´s political career rests in obscurity, his unknown name will forever be remembered for this man´s great contribution to the English language. 

Shoow

Shoow: noun. The animal produced when a cow and a sheep are crossbred. Shoows were initially created in Sheffield Laboratory in the early 1990's. Since then they have all been transported to John o'Groats, where they have become the most populous type of farm animal in the area. The animals have been described as "large, surprisingly fluffy and highly vicious". The animals are actually incredibly useful and there are many high-ranking intellectuals, who are trying to push for greater implementation of shoows, since the animals provide wool, leather, button, and milk. An example sentence is: "The farmer tended to his shoows first and then the pigs.

Haamsterdamp

Haamsterdamp: Adjective. A word used to convey the stuffiness of a room or general area that is home to rodents of any size like (but not limited to) mice, rats, guinea pigs, squirrels, porcupines, beavers, capybaras and of course hamsters. The word originated from the Great Mini-Zoo Encyclopaedia of Johannes Baaron van der Aaantwerpdorf, where it was used in the following sentence: "If you ever find thaat aa room is raather haamsterdamp, you will do best to open a window."  

Outvite

Outvite: verb. To request leaving or exiting in a kindly, courteous or complimentary manner, especially to request to go away as far as possible. Outviting is a type of euphemism, which has become increasingly more popular as the general crassness of the world has increased on a logarithmic scale. Outviting was considered incredibly rude in the Middle Ages and one who performed could be executed on the spot, which is actually how Hamlet Sr. died. In fact it was considered much more polite to say: "Get out of my *^&$*$£ house you ^£R@, before I £^!@ your ^£% with my &$%@&$@ hammer. " This word can be used in a sentence for example like this: "My friend outvited George by saying: 'Would you kindly leave and never return now? Thanks.'"

Belugum

Belugum: noun. Belugum is a very popular meal in Brussels made from the masticated and regurgitated remnants of arctic cod and other fish eaten by beluga whales. It is always served cold and usually goes with a side-dish of fried fish bones and soggy seaweed; altogether, it is considered a major delicacy and is described by major aficionados as "tasty." One may, however, ask how this regurgitated material is obtained. That question, of course, has a very simple answer. So simple, in fact, that we can't be bothered to explain it on this blog. Suffice it to say that marine zoo keepers in the Brussels zoo have purchased large stomach pumps and bin liners with several shadily obtained grants from the European Union. The word could be used in simple, commonplace sentences like the following: "I like Belugum."     

Granding

Granding: noun. The process of making something grand. This is the most fundamental idea of architecture and an entire term of university courses in Architecture is spent on granding. This process has been employed by architects worldwide in such projects as the renovation of St. Peter's Basilica and the construction of the Eiffel Tower, which in reality is simply a granded pile of puddled iron. This word can be used in a sentence such as: "The architect used granding on the pile of bricks and a decent house appeared in a cloud of diction.

Squarify

Squarify: verb. To make into a square. This does not mean to square a number, instead it is for example the adding of a side to a triangle, thereby making a square, or in other words squarifying the triangle. Squarifying has become significantly less popular in recent years, especially due to the mathematical crisis, which almost resulted in the collapse of geometry. Some heinous errors were made when someone squarified a hendecagon and these results were accepted, entirely over-turning mathematical foundation. Using this horrifying mistake geometricians successfully proved that 1+1= -1, which lead to an outrage of pure mathematicians, who attacked the geometricians with integrals, Goldbach's conjecture, as well as Fermat's Last Theorem. The geometricians retorted with vectors, complex planes as well as tesseracts. Eventually the conflict died down and the Peace of Square Islands, Canada.

Porkes

Porkes: noun. The plural form of pork. There is only one famous reference in all of history to this word, and that is in relation to Dude Porkes. Dude Porkes was a famous anti-republican and imperialist, who attempted to blow up the U.S. Congress. However his ploy was foiled and he ended up serving 12 separate death sentences. The celebration of the foiling of his cunning plan has lead to the establishment of National Bacon Day, which is celebrated right between Independence Day and Thanksgiving.

Dangel

Dangel: noun. An angel of danger; in essence the little dude that sits on your shoulder and goes: "Do it! See what happens! It's not like someone's gonna die in an explosion..." Referenced several times in mythology and literature, they were once mislabeled as satyrs, which greatly insulted them and lead to the demise of dinosaurs. Some people attempt to link dangels to Thanatos, but he has denied all such accusations and claims. At least it's assumed that's what happened since Sisyphos hasn't been heard from since.

Metermetre

Metermetre: noun. A measuring tool used to measure units. The authors of this blog interviewed a prominent scientist to explain the idea of a metermetre to the readers. If we exclude all the complicated sciency talk the key words that remain are: "the", "clandestine", and "anthropomorphism". Obviously one could ask what the use of a metermetre is, but a person like that would simply be short-sighted and narrow-minded, with no vision of the future and practically no right to exist on this planet. Yes, we know that escalated quickly.

Belade

Belade: verb. To unload (a ship of a different vessel). It has been determined that this is the only word, which has only ever been said on a port. Therefore this is also a very important Public Service Announcement to the reader of this blog, that he is encouraged to read this post virtually anywhere, but we beg you, do not speak this out loud, unless you are in port. The results could be catastrophic, anything from a global tsunami to the death of a cricket in Taiwan.

Teasue

Teasue: noun. This word has two very specific meanings, which are defined below:

1. The material most commonly used to make teabags. The greatest exporter of this is Mannar Island, which has its economy based on teasues. This actually makes a large amount of sense, due to the proximity of Sri Lanka and its tea export and production. 
2. A problem with a tea. The tea does not have to be anything specific and can be virtually any blend or type. This problem can also be of many varieties, for example the tea being too sweet, spicy, cold, flavourless or bug-infested. It is widely known that any teasues should be reported to the Tea Etiquette Association (TEA), so that it can be dealt with. 

Insmellful

Insmellful: adjective. Describing something, which is of great importance and relevance in very specific situations. As the attentive reader may have realised, this word is very close to insightful, in that it begins with "in" and ends with "ful". There are some dubious claims to other similarities between the words, but those will be disregarder for the sake of professionalism of this blog. Insmellful is quite often used in court in sentences such as: "This piece of evidence is quite insmellful." or "The victim is insmellful to the case."

Luxem

Luxem: noun. The origins of the word luxem are unknown, but it is commonly acknowledged that they are somehow connected to the word "lux," a measurement of illuminance (illuminance of light, that is, not the illuminance of the illuminati). Luxem is read similarly to the word "lux," but with a softer "u," like the one one would get when saying the words "moo," "pour," "soup" or "boot." What the word meant was an absolute mystery until the early half of the nineteenth century, when hotels started using the title "deluxe" in connection with their own names. This then led to a rapid spread of the word luxe, further prompting owners of hotels in Luxembourg to accept the bad pun "de Luxem" as a part of their national heritage. In fact, this mania of spreading the bad pun around different hotels eventually led to the renaming of the country from the simple (and very unimaginative) name of "Bourg" to the name "Luxembourg," giving foreigners the sense of just how luxem the entire country is.  

Kneecosier

Kneecosier: adjective. There are several possible definitions for the word Kneecosier, although only a few are considered remotely plausible. No one actually knows why the word is here, as no records exist about it and the only way the authors of this blog know that it is real is because of a letter in which there was no definition for it given. What it did say though, was that they we should add this word to the blog and that is exactly what we did. During a meeting in the middle of the night (where way too much coffee was consumed), our team came up with two remotely plausible definitions:
1. A degree of how cosy one´s knee is. In such case, the word would probably be derived from My Fair Lady, where someone´s head resting on her knee was rather cosy, but would be cosier on the top of someone´s neck.
2. A very disgustingly ... disgusting and deviated way of writing Nicosia, probably hinting at knee problems that many of its inhabitants suffer from.  

Elefantary

Elefantary: adjective. The most basic of concepts, which relate to elephants. This can, but doesn't have to include elephants eating, breeding, sleeping, walking, stamping, you get the idea. It's well known that the famous elephant-tamer Shertrunk Holes often said his catchphrase: "It's elefanary, my dear Walkson." The international association of apes and associated mammals, which is based in Barbados, has appealed to the Unites Nations several times about the heinous discrimination of other mammals, which aren't elephants and don't have an appropriate adjective to use in a catchphrase. In 1943 the Penguins of the North Pole united and started a global campaign to make the word "penguinary" become common-speech, but this endeavour hit rocky shores, when all the penguins were killed by the Great Sea-lion Disaster of Madagascar.

Vadusian

Vadusian: adjective. This strangely sounding adjective pertains to countries located entirely in the Alps. Incidentally, the only country that fits this single criterion is Liechtenstein. Nothing else can really be said about this word since there isn't that much to say about Liechtenstein itself... so yeah...

Iliad

Iliad: noun. A unit of measurement for journeys. Iliads have been used very frequently since the times of Ancient Maya and today are maintained especially by hitchhikers and hikers, who don't hitch. In 1983 a Professor of Stanford University published a book detailing most all units of measurement for most everything in the universe, and their conversions. Using this book, it is known that 3.534 Iliads is equal to 1 Odyssey and 1 Iliad is equal to 2.3554x10^12 strolls. It is important to not get these units confused, as that could lead to giving oneself too much or too little credit.

Vatican't

Vatican't: noun. In the medieval ages, Vatican't was a term that encompassed all countries that were past the jurisdiction of the Pope. In theory, this would only apply to the rather small area of the Papal States, but depending on which historian one asks (our historian being a fried duck), the Pope had far more direct influence than that. In fact, it was he who often declared wars (for example Pope Urban II) and he on whose impulse monarchs were overthrown or given permission to invade others. For a long time in European history (which, according to our fried duck, is the only type of history that matters), the area of the Vatican't was very small all the way up to the spread of Protestantism, and only then did it start consuming the old continent in the flames of heretical anarchy that would soon devour the world like the devils devour warm pancakes with chocolate and sprinkles and their quack quack quack quack quack. Ok duck, this is the last time I have let you talk into what I am writing down here. Would you please mind your own business now? Hey! That was my toast with jam! And that was my finger! Give it back now, you bad duck! No? Well then I'll have to pull out the big guns, sister! Oh yes, you didn't expect me to have a stomach pump, did you? Well it's too late now! Prepare for total internal extermination!!! Haha, who's quacking now?!!!

Spacity

Spacity: noun. The anxiety of having your head explode while in outer space. Spacity is felt by most people at some point in their life, even if they don't have the slightest chance of coming anywhere near outer space. This feeling is encouraged by certain movies, books, video games and dreams.  To calm oneself when experiencing spacity one must simply think of various types of hats and other head garments, which remind the person that their head is entirely intact and hasn't exploded into a million pieces, which are now floating aimlessly around the galaxy as the decapitated body hovers through space occasionally bumping against a few asteroids, drained entirely of life, meaning and purpose in less than a minute with just enough time to think that it wasn't enough time.

Sandmariner

Sandmariner: unknown. No one has any idea what a Sandmariner is, as it was the only word saved from the entire Oxford Dictionary of Useless Words during the great fire of the Oxford library. However, the creators of this blog have got together to determine what the definition of this bizarre word definitely isn´t.
1. Firstly, a sandmariner definitely does not make dirtwiches.
2. Secondly, it is without a doubt not a citizen of San Marino (those people are called fake Italians).
3. Thirdly, it is indubitably not a marine in sand or having anything to do with sand, as that would be a sandmarine, which is obviously stupid.
From what the definitions assuredly are not, the creators of this blog have come to the conclusion that sandmariner is probably a comparative adjective describing to what extent something is sandy in the sea, or how sandy the sea is itself. A word like this would be highly useful to divers, fish and other inhabitants of the sea, as it would facilitate the labelling of sea visibility conditions (at least as far as whirling sand is responsible for worsened visibility).   

Dirtwich

Dirtwich: noun. Bread held between a few ingredients often including meat. The dirtwich was invented in the 18^th century as a response to the popularization of the sandwich. This invention was made by a group of gamblers who were angry that they didn’t think of the sandwich to keep their cards clean first (as the group was large and every member claimed that they had equal contribution to the idea, no names will be given). It is not clear exactly what these people were thinking when they made their invention; some say it was simply to mock the sandwich while others claim that they had some belief that creating the opposite of a sandwich would cause them to cancel out allowing the group to reinvent the sandwich, while most believe that half of the group were mocking and the other half hoped the inventions would cancel out. Hopes of cancelling out the sandwich did not come true, some believe that the only reason for this was that there weren’t nearly as many dirtwiches made as sandwiches, while people disagree with this most people agree that dirtwiches did not gain popularity because they  weren’t at all practical.

Germate

Germate: verb. To grow germs on purpose. Germing is very often conducted in laboratories around the world, especially to research diseases, but it is also very common in regular households. Here we can find germation in nasal cavities, on mouldy bread, behind cabinets and in beer bottles. One must be very careful when germating so as not to germate something unexpected and potentially dangerous. There was a case of a 60-year old man from Norwich who successfully germated Salmonella in his own bowl of petunias. This attracted the attention of the local council and since then germition has been banned in Norfolk.

Smartbell

Smartbell: noun. Weights generally used for arm exercises and other gym activities. Unlike their more common cousins, dumbbells, smartbells are wider in the middle and thinner on the ends. This means a more even distribution of weight, a difficulty of grasp, as well as higher entropy and inability to hold the object. Smartbells have caused more accidents in gyms and sporting centres than tennis rackets and toilets combined, which is impressive indeed. It is virtually impossible to hold a smartbell for longer than 10 minutes without it slipping out of the hand of the holder.

Recreationale

Recreationale: noun. A set of logical rules and reasons for a holiday or break. A recreationale can be presented to an employer when he discovers an employee not doing his job and simply wasting time. If the recreationale is satisfactory and done according to the appropriate system, then by international law the employer must allow his employee to continue in the wasting of time. However for this to work, the reasons in the recreationale must be very logical and sound indeed, because if the recreationale is found to be badly made or incomplete, then the punishment is the taking away of holiday privileges for two years.

Knowsing

Knowsing: noun. The process of annoying and interrupting people or conversations with knowledge, which may seem interesting to the speaker, but is completely irrelevant and in fact quite confusing to the interrupted. Knowsing was first identified as a form of torture by Isaac Newton's caretakers in his later years, when his already uncertain grasp on reality was fading even more. In Bolivia knowsing is punishable by the death penalty, or spending 5 days with a very enthusiastic professor of Archaeology.

Expensivate

Expensivate: noun. Although this word may at first appear to be a verb it is in fact a noun, which literally translates as an "expensive wait". The general rule is that the expensivate must cost a person over $2,000 dollars to be a proper expensivate, otherwise it is only a semiexpensivate. Examples of expensivates include waiting, while having parked where not meant to, and by waiting increasing the value of the parking ticket, or for example waiting outside a burning house before trying to save it, thereby causing more things of value to burn up.

Stor

Stor: verb. To be on the ground, but not be sitting or laying down. Some may say that this is no different from standing, but this is incorrect because “standing” can be used to describe the simple unmoving of objects and is not distinguishable from the object “sitting” or “lying”. For example “the box stood in the corner” has the same meaning as “the box sat in the corner”. This word was first used by an obscure writer attempting to make a horror story titled Mystery Mail (the story managed to be less obscure than the writer, the reason that its title is known but the writer’s name is not); in this story a box literally stood, to make the event more dramatic this writer invented the word, his story may have been more well known if he defined the word before using it in the story as if it were an already existing word in the English language.  Because of this decision, very few people had to wait until now to fully understand Mystery Mail.

Walletta

Walletta: noun. A walletta is a typical Maltese product that is very well known in the two neighbouring islands and, to a much lesser extent, in the rest of the world. Despite its fame though, no one is quite sure what the original and proper walletta is, the two options being the following:
1. A low and short wall formed to protect a less strategically valuable castle (or chateau when in France).
2. A small wallet made of the hair of a Maltese Dog. It is perfectly suitable for both animal lovers and allergics as a proper walletta is made of painlessly cut fur, which is considered largely hypoallegrenic.
Whatever the poper definition is, the authors of this blog encourage you to buy one for yourself and your family; email us at wallettadogandwalllovers@maltamail.mt   

Chiez

Chiez: noun. Any substance with a reflection coefficient of 0.1 to 0.15. This word was invented in 1994 by a random astronomer giving a presentation to young children; it was used as a compromise as the children insisted that the moon was made of cheese no matter how much contrary evidence he offered. Since its invention the word “Chiez” has been increasing in popularity, seeing almost 6 appearances in web-based media in 2010 (not counting times where the author’s meaning was “Cheese”). In 2012 astronomy students were observed punning with this word; they were in a discussion about sharing an object to study for an assignment they had, allowing them to share information (or for one to use the other’s information, consequently doing less work himself), noticing that the albedo of the moon he was studying was in the correct range the less lazy of the two proclaimed “It’s nacho chiez”!

Rake-a-Pick

Rake-a-Pick: verb. Rake-a-Picking is an Icelandic technique used in the agricultural industry and to a no lesser extent in landfilling, levelling and house building. To rake-a-pick is quite hard, the technique being highly dependent on the availability of fresh lava (or magma if doing the process is for some reason needed under ground). The whole idea consists of using an instrument that is a pickaxe from one side and a rake from the other to break through the walls of volcanoes and then evenly spreading out the lava that rushes out. Every other year, Icelanders meet up for the biannual rake-a-picking contest on the sides of the volcano eyyafyallayöküll. However, the contest always ends up in someone getting injured, escorted to the hospital and the whole thing being cancelled, which explains why the vicinity of the volcano is not perfectly flat as would be the case if the contests were successful.  

Violance

Violance: noun. Aggressiveness with string instruments. Violance was banned by the International Court of Human Rights in 1976 after the famous Verona incident, where masses of different factions took to the streets with their string instruments and fought for their beliefs. Hundreds died in the charge of the lyre brigade, while thousands suffered under heavy fire from the double bass artillery. There is a specific case when a high-ranking official of the city was killed by a bow from a viola. The conflict only ended after one side introduced the great harpsichord and the peace of baryton was signed.

Lundun

Lundun: interjection. The interjection lundun was first used by the British poet William McGonagall in his not too well known poem about what he thought of Queen Victoria. The poem goes as follows:

Mighty Queen Victoria,
She´s looking for euphoria,
She can see ya,
From the land of Moria.

Your life she´ll destroy,
Like the Greeks did with Troy,
A knife is her toy,
Oh boy, boy, oh boy.

Your house do abandon,
For she lives in London,
You´ll be in the dungeon,
Oh sorrow, oh lundun!

Disclaimer: the authors of this blog take no responsibility for any psychological damage caused to you by reading this ... "poem."

Miserability

Miserability: noun. This word has in fact several meanings, all of which are held in high regard by the authors of various dictionaries. These definitions are as follows:
1. The large subset of the category of nobility, in other words the nobility which is miserable. Miserability can be miserable for various reasons, whether it's loss of property, revolution or free will.
2. The ability to be miserable. This ability is retained by most people from their early teens until their death. The amount of miserability fluctuates as one goes through life with highs and lows at various points.
The two very distinct definitions for this word lead to such wonderful yet simple sentences such as: "The miserability have miserability."

Dubbling

Dubbling: noun. Dubbling is the common Irish practice of a single voice actor dubbing more than one characters in a foreign language film. Originating from the year 2008 when the country was struck by a major financial crisis, dubbling became highly popular in the film industry, as it required a far smaller budget than normal dubbing and it even became the norm in some companies for one voice actor to dub all of the characters in the film as well as writing the translations. It could be viewed as strange that there have been no complaints so far from the Irish public about this practice, but recently, a survey explained why this is, stating that to conserve electricity, the Irish watch TV without turning the sound on. An English scientist working on this research proceeded to snidely comment that the reason for doing so may not be frugality, but plain ignorance of the fact that televisions actually have sound these days, which the Irish are having a hard time getting used to.

Monocaw

Monocaw: noun. A monocaw is a quite elaborate term coming from the early sixteenth century, when pirates from Monte Carlo introduced the fashion of carrying around colourful parrots on one´s shoulders. What the word describes is a macaw that has to wear a monocle because of a slight sight deficinecy, usually caused by one eyed peering into telescopes and a parrot version of the Stockholm syndrome, which describes the state when a macaw actually begins to sympathise with its capturer to such an extent that when living with a one eyed pirate, the vision of one of its eyes begins to deteriorate.

Superstitionize

Superstitione: verb. To take a common myth, legend, saying or general phrase or idea and make it a superstition. This was very popular especially in the 17th and 18th century. Superstitioning was taken to the extreme in the town of Salem, where all black cats were banished from the town forever and haven't been seen in the vicinity of the town since then. To superstitione has been forbidden by the Baha'i faith as it is considered unfriendly and unsupportive.

Andorrer

Andorrer: noun, verb or adjective. Depending on the context, the word Andorrer could mean either (or perhaps even both) of the following things:
1. In the adjectival sense, something Andorrer is more Andorric than another thing, the word Andorric pertaining to the magnitude of how much something pertains to the country of Andorra or its capital Andorra la Vella.
2. However, in the verbal form, to Andorrer is to travel at a speed exactly in between running and walking, which in modern English has been replaced by a far less elaborate word - 'jog.' The more archaic form of this word is actually an amalgam of two Spanish words, which would explain its falling out of common use and public favour after the Spanish-American War. The two words are "andar" (to walk) and "correr" (to run).
3. Lastly, when used as a noun, Andorrer gains the following definition as written down in the Oxford Dictionary of words that have not been used since 1953: "A person who claims he is from the Andes mountains, but in fact is from somewhere much orrrrrr." The assumption that goes along with this definition is that the person who wrote the dictionary wanted to write a clever pun but forgot it and in exasperation only wrote "orrrrrr," leaving us with only a slight hint at what the clever pun could have been.

Pollutionedaire

Pollutionedaire: noun. Air which is polluted. That's it, there's no more to this definition, deal with it.

Lisbone

Lisbone: noun. An archaeological finding somewhere in the vicinity of Portugal's capital. Such archaeological finding must be completely isolated from findings of the same type, hence the fact that the word is Lisbone and not Liskeleton (which is also a word though, just not today's post). The history of Lisbones is not quite well mapped, as they aren't very common. In fact, everything that has been called a Lisbone in the past has later been found to be a Liskeleton.   

Genii

Genii: noun. A genius who is also a genie. Although this may be unexpected for some people, not all genies are brilliant, despite their ability to grant wishes. Some genies simply aren't clever enough to come up with the idea of making themselves brilliant. Although one may also think that the clever genies would help out their less-clever counterparts, they have simply started a snarky society which mocks the less-intelligent genies.

Madread

Madread: noun. The physical or psychological suffering of redneck Americans stuck in Madrid, usually caused by language barriers and intestinal difficulties due to American unfamiliarity with the local cuisine that manifests itself in their inability to distinguish anything from chicken - the exception being hamburgers and cheeseburgers, although some still think that those foods are made of chicken and chicken lactose too. 

Pairess

Pairess: noun. According to old French tradition, a pairess is a duo of females that get to inherit some sort of valuable item. This used to be quite useful during the twin epidemics of Paris in the early 1700s, when for some strange reason, people could only give birth to female twins. Pairessing was, therefore, a very easy way of bequeathing one's fortune evenly and without the necessity of finding male heirs, who were (at least before the introduction of this custom) driven in all the way from Marseilles.   

Forgetion

Forgetion: noun. The rather complex process of forgetting an idea, person or number. This process is often experienced by Annas throughout the world. The process of forgetion was first developed by Stan Goosh. Before the development forgetion ideas, people or numbers were never lost and the world was a much more coordinated place, however the sect known as the chaotists revolted against this order and hired Goosh to develop forgetion, which then lead to the permanent decrease of world efficiency by 2347%.

Snuffin

Snuffin: noun. The word snuffin comes from the suburbs of New York, where it refers to the shady product that is known to the FBI as APOSFWPLD "a pastry or sweetie filled with powder-like drugs." Snuffins are especially popular among rehabilitated addicts, who are initially pleasantly surprised that they can get a kick out of a simple muffin, only to realise later that they are in need of even more rehabilitation.

Snecret

Snecret: noun. An extraordinarily sneaky secret. Generally this identifies a secret, which is hidden in a particularly sneaky way, although it may also refer to a secret, which is about something sneaky. The largest amount of snecrets was apparently held by a Mr Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr, who among other things held the most private of snecrets of the former U.S. President John F. Kennedy. Along with the espionage information and information gained through his historical research, Schlesinger had successfully collected enough information to destroy 53 separate governments at the peak of his career.

Babbler

Babbler: noun. One who babbles chronically and continually throughout one's life without ever stumbling upon a single grain of truth. In fact, a babbler never fully understands the material of his babbles or anything in the world itself. Typically, babblers appear in many plays and books, but sometimes, the people we would call babblers in real life are not babblers in some literature. The Importance of Being Earnest, for example, is a play that would seem replete with babblers, but actually, the insipid and absurd conversations become the reality of the world in the play, converting what would seem as babblers into normal human beings and normal human beings into particularly reclusive personalities.

Elliteration

Elliteration: noun. The process of adding letters to a word, which aren't necessarily required in the word, but add a sense of sophistication and aloofness. The French are particular experts at this, having multiple occasions of elliteration in a single word, going so far as to found the International Institute for the Management of the Implementation of Elliteration (IIMIE) in Nice. One must be very careful with elliteration, because if it isn't done with skill, it will not appear as sophisticated but rather obnoxious.

Flyrick

Flyrick: verb. To flyrick means to be constantly mishearing lyrics of different songs, lending them very strange meanings. One of the most famous mishearings comes from a well known musical, incidentally called Sound of Music. After the first airing of the soon-to-be popular film starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer, many people, especially those living in retirement homes, rung up to ask Oscar Hammerstein if he was being serious in writing a song about singing bees, biking dogs and "wild beasts that fly with the moon on their wings." Evidently these people had never experienced the elated fantasies that are mentioned in another frequently flyricked song, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, where according to some, "A girl with colitis goes by." However, this phenomenon was brought to the highest possible level when several people with hearing disorders got together to write a transcript of an old CD recording of Carmina Burana´s poem "O Fortuna," devising intricate rhymes like "Suck juice from moose, fun handsome goose" and so on...

Bunburytopia

Bunburytopia: noun. Bunburytopia is, at least according to Oscar Wilde, the absolutely ideal state of society in which everyone has their own private Bunbury who acts as an excuse to skipping dull meetings and reunions when it is most needed. In addition, no one in this ideal society denies being a Bunburyist and their adherence to this movement is not conditioned by their acceptance of this label. A note for more cautious readers: this ideal state of society can only be called a utopia; anyone who calls it a dystopia is a pretentious liar.

Smoaking

Smoaking: noun. To smoak is to immerse oneself entirely in a visible vapour. This can be done in several ways, but is uncommon because it is unhealthy and not addictive. Ways to smoak often include standing on a raised platform above burning materials, far enough away to avoid getting burned, but set in such a way to get as much smoke as possible covering the person. This is mostly done to try out the experience or to prove something but then people quickly stop after suffering from effects of inhaling smoke, wasting their time, or even burns if they don’t not take into account the fact that heat tends to rise. The origin of this practice is unclear because no long lasting smoaking structures can be found; experts suggest that ancient civilizations soon realized that the practice was useless and decided to use the materials of their structures for some other purpose, however some people do believe that in battles with other tribes the winner would take the smoaking structures for his own tribe and to this day they are hidden somewhere underground to keep them safe…

Undermineable

Undermineable: adjective. Something or someone that has the capacity to be undermined by another thing or person. To specify, something undermineable does not necessarily have to cause its own undermineableness; it suffices to say that it is undermineable and that is that. Regardless of who caused this undermineableness, the thing is undermineable and what is undermineable is undermineable no matter who caused it to be so.

Provex

Provex: adjective. The opposite of “convex”. This word was invented in 1973 when a student was trying to complete his homework but forgot the word “concave”, unable to remember it he decided to use the word “provex” (incidents where people use the word “provex” because they can’t think of “concave”  have been done by people who didn’t even know of this word’s previous existence so it can be assumed that the event took place before then, but as that student presented the first recorded case of it happening (this may have happened before but it’s difficult to tell because the word may have just been a part of their language), but this was the first recorded case and therefore is the case that is credited for the word). Other than just replacing a word on cannot remember; this word is also used to add variety in the vocabulary of one’s writing, especially if they happen to be writing a story about concave caves with walls that bend inward and there are many indented features on depressions in the ground.

Underminatory

Underminatory: adjective. Something or someone capable of undermining the position of another thing or person. The word can be used both in the literal and metaphorical sense, which is well contrasted in the following sentence: "The mine was underminatory to the position of the count's new castle; a fortress that was underminatory to the king." Something underminatory must not always be used to truly undermine one's position; the word denotes the status itself of having the ability to undermine. The word originates from a translation of Greek legends by a famous English author (whose name is unknown), its first appearance being used in reference to a minotaur in the underground tunnels of a certain island fortress.  

Skout

Skout: noun. An internal membrane found in few animals. These can be naturally occurring or obtained after a surgical procedure, in either case animals tend not to survive long. An animal with this organ resembles other members of its species if they were turned inside-out. There is a lot of debate on the purpose such an organ would serve, while many say that this is the result of the animal going horribly wrong; some say that it forms with the specific purpose to keep many of the other organs away from the centre and that more research should be done to find why this is. Most governments slow this kind of research down with laws against turning animals inside out to study the results; claiming that it is animal cruelty, and it seems that this is unlikely to change anytime soon.

Alganise

Alganise: verb. To cover something with algae, lending it a strangely thick green colour. The word alganise itself is usually used in the passive voice; one won´t often hear about algae alganising an obect, but rather of an object being alganised. The word was first used in relation to sloths who are alganised within a few weeks after birth, but the term soon spread to encompass not only these lazy mammals; after sloths, the most commonly associated "victims" of alganisation are ponds and lakes which are often covered by a thick layer of algae resulting in the well known process called eutrophication.

Dirk

Dirk: noun. Yet another word describing facial expressions in dogs, a dirk is a condescending smile (also known as smirk) common to these cunning canines. Dogs dirk on many occasions, for example when their master throws them a stick and they can´t be bothered to lift it for him, leaving the person to go and collect it himself, while the dogs sit and watch feeling very amused. As with diles, dirks have been observed in many other organisms, including divers, dressers, Davids, deinonychuses, deinosuchuses and duck-men.   

Viscidous

Viscidous: adjective. Extremely sticky and adhesive. Something can only be described as viscidous if it has reached an unbelievable 7.34 on the Kohler scale. There are certain plants which grow in Jamaica, the extracts of which have according to some tests achieved as score of 7.35. However because of the unreliability of the tests, the extracts from the plants have been labelled as semiviscidous. Otherwise there have been some laboratory-prepared adhesives, which can be labelled viscidous with absolute certainty, but these adhesives have never been used on anything due to the permanentness of such an action.

Dile

Dile: noun. A dile is a facial expression common to dogs that appears to be equivalent to smiling in humans, but includes characteristics humans usually lack. For example, when diling, a dog usually sticks its tongue out, pants and even wags its tail, while humans don´t do any (or at least most) of these when smiling. Also, a diling dog is the same thing as a laughing dog, as dogs make very little sounds (if any) when they are somehow amused. The most famous example of a constantly diling dog is the popular internet meme called doge, though many find its smile a bit too creepy to be called a real dile. For future reference, although diling is most commonly associated with dogs, it is also frequently observed in dolphins and to a respectively lesser degree in ducks, drivers, dancers, diggers, dragons, doctors, dinosaurs and diprotodons.

Hummbug

Hummbug: noun. A rare species of insect which can only be identified by its distinct humming mating call. Hummbugs are excellent at camouflage and so, they have only ever been discovered thanks to their mating calls. The problem is that, after complex scientific research, it has been determined that hummbugs only mate once every 24 years. This is why there are only 4 specimens of the insect in museums worldwide. Three of these are in the Chicago Field Museum and one is in the Entomological Museum of Vilnius.

Hydranted

Hydranted: adjective. As opposed to something hydrated (that which is well supplied with water), something that is hydranted could mean any of the following things:
1. Something well supplied with fire hydrants (usually applies to buildings).
2. Something that has been properly treated to prevent or combat combustion (usually applies to fires and things on fire).
3. A person or animal clubbed to death with a fire hydrant (as opposed to objects, which can only be clubbed to destruction with one). 

Unintelligibalise

Unintelligibalise: verb. To make not discernible or not understandable. This process is actually simpler than it may at first appear. It can be something as simple as tearing up a piece of paper into many tiny pieces of paper, or using white-out on a piece of text. However there are much more complex variations of unintelligibalising, such as adding an unbreakable double encryption system or simply a bomb. There are experts at various companies, who specialize in unintelligibalising, especially at companies like BP, where this is necessary for various documents, such as their health and safety protocol. 

Synonymicality

Synonymicality: noun. Synonymicality is the pathological compulsion of people to repeat words with the same meaning after each other, making their texts and orations clogged up, hard to understand, unintelligible and incomprehensible. While the reasons for doing this are hypothesised and predicted to stem, arise and originate from an urge and desire to ostentatiously show off one´s superior and clearly excptional vocabulary, no one is quite sure or certain how one should treat, cure and fix this phenomenon.

Homophonusion

Homophonusion: noun. Homophonusion is a quite typical and widespread phenomenon that manifests itself in one´s ability to spell properly. Simply put, homophonusion is the accidental substitution of a homophone for its alike sounding counterpart in a text; an example being "They´re bare seas my add four ail." Now literally, this example could be deciphered to mean something like "They are basic seas when they are troubled by adding four of me." However, the intended meaning would be: "Their bear sees my ad for ale;" in other words: "The animal of the family ursidae belonging to them is visually perceiving my advertisement for beer brewed from malted barley." In spoken interaction, homophonusion is quite difficult to distinguish. In fact, some linguists are of the opinion that spoken homophonusion does not exist. These scientists are in the minority though, and so going with the majority, we can say that our ability to distinguish homophonusion is not evolved enough yet, but one day, it will be at a stage when we can recognise it with relative ease. 

Antianticipation

Antianticipation: noun. The opposite of anticipation, when one does not look forward to something, but instead dreads it and does not want to face that which approaches. Antianticipation always comes with something inevitable and so is quite a redundant feeling as one would feel much better if he accepted his fate and moved on with his life. Antianticipation is often described as "the impending sense of doom" and is a popular literary device in thrillers and horrors, first employed by Edgar Allan Poe.

Buttonise

Buttonise: verb. This word has two very specific meanings which are both used commonly and frequently. The two meanings are as follow:
1. To press a button all the way down. This is very specific, because one can only buttonise if the button is completely pressed down, it doesn't apply if it's half or partially pressed down.
2. To turn someone or something into a button. This is often a very complicated and expensive, yet popular process. It involves the machine known as the buttoniser which generally needs to be powered by 3 nuclear power plants and 4 separate rabbits with pumpkins.

Mint

Mint: verb. As opposed to referencing the commonly used meaning of the verb mint, today's post is about the less frequent version, which is (according to professional linguists) extinct in the wild and kept alive only in the fat books sitting somewhere in the compartment of the Oxford English Dictionary dedicated to dead words (there is some controversy, however, regarding labeling these words as dead. Some philosophers have argued that words kept alive only in old dictionaries are not really dead but on life support, since they may come back to life at any time. Others maintain that these words are actually brain-dead and if they ever start being used again, they are no more than philosophical zombies). Therefore, to the meaning of the word: to mint, in a gardening context, is the same thing as to weed (only with mint of course), the word functioning both as a noun and as a verb. Since mint is a very invasive plant, this expression used to be quite common. So common, in fact, that mint started to be regarded as a normal weed and people started to refer to minting simply as weeding. 

Hambourgeoisie

Hambourgeoisie: noun. Commonly, hambourgeoisie is a word used to refer to the middle class of Hamburg, Germany, but in the recent years, it has become more closely associated with moderately profitable hamburger salesmen and saleswomen. These profit more than the hamburgher-serfs, also being the only industry in the USA using slerfs. In the Fast-Food-Marxist theory, however, the hambourgeoisie belong to the class preventing the hot dog proletariat from liberation and nutritionally classless utopia.  

Choeer

Choeer: noun. A rather odd musical ensemble of singers. These are extremely popular to perform at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as meetings of the Dull Men Society. They perform a large variety of songs, anything from church rock to hard jazz. It's important to ensure before the performance of a choeer, that all potentially breakable things are securely attached or removed from reach, as choeers have a collateral damage range of over 3 kilometres.

Chicketting

Chicketting: noun. Chicketting is incessant bickering coming from an annoying chicken with the sole purpose of exasperating, infuriating and irritating the (usually human) target. Though chicketting is most commonly associated with the game clumsy ninja, it can also be applied to other games like moorhuhn and duck life, though the latter is an obvious misnomer (obvious to the extent that one wonders how it ever even came to be). A male equivalent of chicketting is, of course, roostering and the juvenile equivalent is chicking or, in the early stages of life, egging.

Entitlety

Entitlety: noun. A title that exists all by itself without any context or explanation of its meaning. Entitleties are used in libraries as well as publishing houses, generally in their organisation systems and book indexes. Entitleties were first used by the great Cambridge University Press in 1612, when their collection of 27 books became too much to manage without using an index.

Doncaster

Doncaster: noun. A person who throws Spanish nobility or the leaders of Italian mafia a great distance. Being a doncaster was an especially popular profession in two places: Valencia and Chicago. However being a doncaster was also a very risky job, as there were great risks that accompanied the job. One could be lynched, burnt, shot, ,drowned, strangled, mutilated, tortured, exhumed and tortured again, disowned, excommunicated and various other things. The only reason people became doncasters despite the risks, was the pay and the prospects of the don's wife/daughter/loose ladies.

Elevatoration

Elevatoration: noun. The range an elevator can travel, usually counted in floors. The International Commission on Elevators has found that the average elevatoration for most countries is 7 floors. The only outlier is the United Arab Emirates, which has an average elevatoration of 54 floors. Elevatoration is a valuable statistic to be known for elevator manufacturers as well as the occupants of the building the elevator is situated in. It allows people to know all the floors they can access from the elevator, and if the building they occupy possesses any secret floors.

Targerine

Targerine: noun. A spread made of tangerines, refined plant oils, fats, water and occasionally milk. Though not typically seen in kitchens around Europe and America, targerine is highly popular in Sichuan, where it used to be eaten as a part of Christmas dinner until this practice was stopped by the Cultural Revolution and replaced with the consumption of synthetic polyester.  

Orckid

Orckid: noun. There are several possible meanings of the word orckid, all of which are listed below in order of most common to least.
1. The child of an orc and orcess (the female variant also known as an orcette or orcy).
2. The baby goat of an orc, usually released into the wild by insane orc activists, which is the reason why the goat population in orc-inhabited areas is decreasing at a faster rate than black and white TV sales.
3. A practical joke played by an orc.
4. An alternative (and phonetically logical) way of writing "orchid."